/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Back in high school there was a guy who would always get there early so he had time to buy and eat breakfast in the cafeteria. It was always the same breakfast; a bag of chips and a half-liter Coca Cola.

>>14029318

Were we at school together?

That sounds like me. In my defence I do now have a much better diet and exercise regularly.

>>14029301
My nephew would only eat pizza, burgers, and fries when he was a kid and he's barely 5 feet tall now decades later. Stunted his growth.

In university there were two german students in my dorm. They bought a 15kg bag of pasta. Most days a week, they shared a fine meal of pasta and ketchup.

>>14029301
Neet friend of mine literally ate only microwave hamburgers and fries with diet coke. The only change was when we coaxed him out of his room from time to time and he occasionnaly ate a kebab. Surprisingly he was a skelly

>>14029301
If she would just eat the fucking yolks she wouldn’t need half of the stuff that comes after breakfast.

>>14029392
But they're icky.

>>14029301

>>14029301
>eats at 1pm
>at 3pm I usually feel a dip in energy
Oh gee, I wonder why.

>>14029301
She won't make it til her 40s rip suckermom

>>14029301
I don't know, I don't watch commercials and MLM shit such as you do. Explain youself you fucking shill.

>>14029301
Dunno what he actually ate, but we had a guy on the respiratory ward who weighed a quarter of a tonne. Couldn't send him home because he couldn't fit through his front door, so he was an inpatient for six months while they widened it. He died before they finished.

>>14029301
She'd save so much time if she just ate two well-rounded meals a day.

>>14029301
>when daughter is in bed I start dinner
Wh-what does daughter eat?

>>14029862
>so he was an inpatient for six months while they widened it.
why didn't your hospital make him thinner instead?

>>14029301
Wow, she must be super fit on account of having such a strict diet, with lots of vegetables and no animal fats. Oh....

>>14029301

There was a guy at my highschool who would lick ketchup off a plate. The smell would unironically make me gag and it kind of does now even when I'm thinking about it.

>>14029900
Based on this crackpot schedule of her mother's, I'm led to believe she's just forced to photosynthesize, that's why she's in bed by 8pm.

>>14029914
I mean she's not FAT but she's eating cellulose and chugging sugar water all day.
Also she's probably lying and scarfs down the little chopped up hotdogs she's cooking for her little ankle biter.

My first job out of college was at a private school that I had a terrible commute to and from. I think I had to leave my house around 5am to get there in time for the before school activities. Anyway, I'd have a cup of crappy chamomile tea at the school each morning, maybe a graham cracker at midday, then I'd eat a big meal for dinner which was usually simple baked chicken or pork with rice or pasta. If chicken thighs were on sale I'd make a soup with the bones.

>>14029374
I ate like that + a litre of soda a every single day growing up and I'm 6'4

>>14029416
this is so inaccurate. no one can go 4 hours without eating unless they are sleeping. they would be dead

>>14029301
>As featured in goop!

>>14029374
thank you anon, it's always a pleasure reading his day on a plate.

>>14029301
The one I had when I was 14 where I lived off of a one litre of Mountain Dew Code Red and Coca Cola along with a bag of Hot Cheeto Fries for dinner.

>>14029867
Do you think people who fall for these meme diets are smart in any way or form?

>>14029301
>>14029914
That schedule is complete horse shit. Even if she was a completely sedentary tiny female she would be in a calorie deficit but somehow she has the energy for training or a run every day.

You can't beat this guy

>>14029862
He would have loved this board. R.I.P.

>>14029961
I can go even more without eating

>>14029914
She's 100% sneaking twinkies and shit in when nobody's looking

>>14029416
What kind of fat fuck manages to restrain himself to only one sausage roll?
He'd need at least double the Greggs

>>14030030
jam boy is normal compared to this freakshow

>>14030064
Yeah the diet is retarded but if you put that much effort into stupid meme food then why not do some exercises? He looks like shit.

>>14029301
Putting the children to bed before dinner is an absolute chad move, and saves a lot of money.

>>14030064
Always good to see activated almonds and a homemade coconut back

>>14029301
How does she survive theres no real meal no way she gets enough calories, must be fake and in reality she stuffs her face with processed shit.

>>14030096
Almost all of these are either lies, or one very specific fantasy "perfect" day, and the day after that they're shoving McDonalds and Taco Bell into their faces.

>>14030084
Just sitting here cracking up at this

>>14030095
dont forget the cultured vegetables who listen to opera and read books.

>>14030064
There is an Idea of Pete Evans; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity.

>>14029374
>2:30am Just screaming

Wew

>>14029914
I'd still romp in her crotch

my older brother had a massive heart attack the day after his 29th birthday a few years back

microwaved hotdogs, peanut butter sandwiches, pork chops, french fries, lots of shitty beer

my 31 year old cousin is a fuckin man child with food - has irregular heart beat - eats candy. fucking candy by the hand full. his wife with pack him a big lunch and he will give it away at work and eat candy. i think he also likes chicken ceasar salad

>>14030301
>his wife
Sounds like youre just jealous.

>>14030301
>microwaved hotdogs, peanut butter sandwiches, pork chops, french fries, lots of shitty beer
>implying these are that egregious
You could have one item on that list once a day every day and it could easily fit into a balanced 2000 cal diet.
His ticker exploded because it was shittily manufactured. Coronary at 29? He'd have had it if he was suffering egg white omelets.

>>14029301
When I was 19 it was weed, Mtn. Dew and Doritos for breakfast bologna sandwiches for lunch and frozen burritos for dinner

>>14030328
i can assure you my brother is not eating any fuckin egg white omelets

>>14029301
>11am
>a green juice stops my tummy from rumbling
That's sinister.

>>14029301
Probably mine — when I was losing weight I would OMAD a burrito, gyros, or some other type of fast food. It helped me stick to my fasting though

>>14029381
Must've been the diet coke.

>>14029301
What does 9am have to do with her diet and why are they discussing a new flavor launch every single day?

>>14029914
Looks good to me

When I was in the army, got stuck in a training depot for six months, waiting for a paperwork trial to unfuck itself. Cookhouse food tasted like shit, so I only ate there when I ran out of money. Diet consisted of beer, takeaway pizza, rustler burgers and those mini microwave pizzas. Put on 4 stone.

>>14030020
She's probably lying about how much she eats so people who listen to her will be hungry and just drink more of her juice that she's selling

>>14029301
>showering before working out
>but not after
Vile.

Post what you are today.
>8am HJ whopper medium chips coffee.
>2pm bacon egg cheese capsicum sandwich.
>3pm ice cream.
>No dinner

>>14030503
Who even buys that overpriced shit? It's just vegetables and fruit. Buy a juicer and make that vile liquid yourself for a fraction of the price.

>>14030534
You mean yesterday.

>>14030574
Yeah also ate.
Also pro phone poster.

https://youtu.be/RqEmCr8gAAM
Best diet possible

>>14030064
Homemade coconut gets me every time

>>14030020
Depends on where she's getting her coffee and tea. Idiot. God you're dumb. You know that? fcukl . You piss me off. So fucking much. Every damn day blah blah blah that's you blahblahblahblahblah never shutting the fuck up. BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH!

>>14029301
Hahaha imagine this diet, sounds like the most tasteless gruel diet in the world. The worst diet I’ve ever seen someone eat was my little cousin who wouldn’t eat anything besides those crackers with the cheese dip you scoop out with the red stick, it’s seriously all he would eat.

>>14030064
Fuck I love this one, they pass it around /fit/ all the time. I can’t imagine even trying to come up with this meme diet to make yourself look good.

I had a friend in high school that would not eat anything but meat, or fried food. He made an exception for corn on special occasions. Potatoes if they were fried.

And I mean in the 4 years we were friends, I never saw him eat a piece of fruit or eat a vegetable. Not once. He was proud of this.

Midwest btw so it checks out

>>14029301
Middle class wankers I met at university. Allegedly their family dinners unironically consisted of shit like
>Spaghetti with a jar of pesto on it
>Soreen loaf with butter and salad
>Jacket potato with cheese
>Spaghetti with cheese on it
>Feta and rocket/arugula
Depressing shit cooked by lazy and probably wino mothers

>>14030621
What's going on? Are you having a bad day?

>>14030534
My day on a plate:
>something different every day because I'm not a boring cunt

I cook a lot at home and lean on meat + roasted or sautéed veg, but am perfectly happy to eat rice or bread or chocolate or drink beer and get the occasional cheeky take-out. How does someone even have a "this is what I eat" list? Boring life.

>>14029416
simple as

>>14029862
hearty kek
get fucked fatties

Here's my diet:

Breakfast: Green tea, shakshuka, low-carb tortilla or Aldi's flatbread, and one cucumber

Lunch: smoothie made with sugarless whey protein, peanut butter, suger free almondmilk, avocado, and cacao nib

Dinner: green tea

Day 2:
Breafast: Cobb salad - Dandelion and arugala salad with grilled chicken thigh, avocado, bacon, eggs, and olive oil
Lunch: Green tea and peanuts
Dinner: none

Lost 50 lbs over a year and kept it off.

>>14030039
Nope

>>14030206
keked audibly

>>14030328
Have you considered he is an alcoholic, and that's symptoms from excessive drinking (DT)?

>>14029903
Can't starve people, unfortunately, being of sound mind he has what we refer to as the "capacity" to make that decision for himself, cf. a psychotic episode where I can override decisions you make that put to your health at risk.

>>14030064
>blended alkalised water
>activated almonds
>two organic
>cultured vegetables
>homemade coconut

>>14029914
i dont understand she looks great

>>14029301
women were a mistake

>>14030968
What the fuck does veganic mean?

My Mom and Dad only eat processed shit, and for them the epitome of cuisine is a hamburger. They don't have vegetables at their house, but when they do they're fucking drenched in butter or cheese. The only fruit they ever have are bananas and they spoil before they eat them most of the time. They never drink water, only soda and beer. Most of their diet is just carbs and almost nothing else besides some meat. They snack constantly, there is never a moment where they're not shoving Fritos or Cheez-Its in their mouths. My God I tell them to stop it but they never listen.

>>14031083
She would look like a skeleton if all she ate was OP unless her portions were huge or she was tiny as fuck

>>14031142
God my parents are the same way, I hate visiting for more than a few hours because they always have nothing but processed boomer chow or takeout from fucking olive garden

>>14029301
>Jewce merchant

>>14031134
>veganic
It appears to be a portmanteau of vegan and organic.

>>14031203
No it's not. It's literally just an adjective with the suffix -ic

>>14029914
Shady wording

>>14029862
How the fuck would it take that long to widen a door?

>>14029301
> Work from 9 to 6:30
> Not even a lunch break
> Barely see your tiny daughter
> Lie about your diet in print
> All that to shill fruit juice that only other supermoms care about, contributing nothing to the planet

Why does this bother me so much

>>14030030
There was a girl that only ate mcnuggets. They claimed she was healthy just like this guy and then a few years later she had a stroke at age 20 or something.

Maybe Amerifats should be forced to watch infomercials about salads and fruit on TV until they get it.
I indulge in the occasional enchiladitos bag but I am proud to cook for myself and a day without veggies is incomplete.

>Fell out of bed at 11
>Costco Mac n' Cheese with Garlic hot sauce at 12:30
>More Coscto Mac n' Cheese, but with a packet of Chick-fil-A BBQ sauce at 1
>Yeti cup of Cherry Coke at 2
>???

>>14031410
>Maybe Amerifats should be forced to watch infomercials about salads and fruit on TV until they get it.

lol. These are the same obese 'Mericans who are all excited about chemical experiment bean patty beyond meats.

They'll find a way to make anything healthy full of fat, salt, and cancerous.

>>14030663
__ _________ ______?

>>14031134
find out more on the back, anon

>>14031142
Sounds normal for people who lived through WWII.

>>14029301
Worst part of that diet is checking emails at 9pm.

lol.

What a bunch of fiction.

That dumb white bitch probably spends all her time watching cat videos and eating bon bons.

>>14031347
I'm surprised nobody else picked up on this. It takes that long when you're relying on the UK's social services to do it. Consider how much you would pay a private contractor to do this -- a few thousand, maybe? Then consider the cost of an inpatient stay for six months in a level 1 bed at £3K per day. Now consider why the NHS is constantly in such dire financial straits.

This madness is why I've chosen to emigrate.

>>14030194
I haven't read a novel since 2008. I decided if I was going to waste time and escape onto a fantasy world I'd rather play video games online with my friends.

>>14030726
>simple as
Simple as what though?

>>14029392
Those are baby chickens anon

>>14029914
Fuck are you on about, she looks bangin

>>14030030
Based Jam Boy

>fatfuck cousin
>his mom (not blood related to me, thankfully) is a hamplanet and a half, birthed him at like age 40
>he was raised on vidya as a bubble boy, they said he had the 'tism but he was just a lazy slob with an enabler mom
>her only hobby was baking. mainly cakes, cupcakes, brownies, etc. probably 80% of her daily calories came from cake with egregiously overapplied sugar-frosting
>later became a professional baker. not having much success, probably because no one tosses a bag of sugar in their maw on the regular. she fried her palate on sugar to the point that sugar is the only flavor in her crap
>imagine the most overly sweet cake you ever had, but add 50% more sugar in it
>i tried bullying my cousin into putting down the vidya gaymes and going outside to play with us as a kid. of course i was made out to be the bad guy
>cousin to the point it's a screaming fight to get him to put down the video games even while eating dinner with grandpa on easter
>his diet since childhood was doritos, hot dogs, butter noodles (pasta with melted butter on it, nothing else), soda, and cake
>threw a fit if you tried to get him to even taste a bite of real food
>by high school he's a 400 lb blob of pasty dough with the social prowess of the worst hikkikomori you could dredge up from anywhere on 4chan
>i ask him if he has a gf yet
>he looks up from the game screen, not a single glimmer in the slit of his piggy eyes left visible between the forehead fatroll and the cheek fatmound
>he has realized what his fate is and fully accepts it
>his mom eventually tried to get lapband surgery, they botched it, she was in the ICU for most of a year, they lost their house and moved in with her mother to a box in the slums
>haven't had contact with them since
'murrka
I could have saved him but noooo bullying is baaaaad. lol. ok, thanks for scolding me for that so much, accept your genetic lineage to end with that crescendo.
>>14029378
that's a war crime honestly

>>14030301
how is he married and I am single. I hate the world.

>>14029301
>eating all of that crap to stave off hunger all day
OMAD life

>>14030534
>1 cup of homemeade chili
>ramen noodles from microwave ramen cooker-it's shit
>10 oz of peppered beef jerky
> 5 heineken
>6 bud light seltzers
I hate having a day off from work. I am making minestrone soup tomorrow, so there is that.

>>14030064
Anybody who finds 'homemade coconut' funny has a tragic misunderstanding of the English language and should fuck off

>>14031908
bullying only works for a person who has dignity
most fatasses just cloister themselves in their cages the moment they catch wind of someone making a comment about their size

>>14030665
>Spaghetti with a jar of pesto on it
food of the gods, 10/10 taste. pesto is divine.
>>14031410
the only vegetable worth eating is kimchi.

>>14031909
self esteem and confidence

>>14030301
>gives away good food for candy
sounds like my uncle

>my uncle - dad's little brother
>got kinda fat in his 30s
>somehow got a gastric sleeve
>ignored the diet ordered by his doctor
>eats candy, soda, fried food - everything you're not supposed to eat after a gastric bypass
>experiences Dumping Syndrome every time he eats because he won't stop eating garbage
>your stomach dumps its partially digested contents into the first part of your small intestine faster than normal
>it's EXTREMELY painful but also results in massively stinky shits
>uncle's shits are so foul at work he gets fired
>unlce continues to eat like garbage despite the pain it puts him in
>gets Methodone to cope with the pain instead of changing his diet
>overdoses and dies in a hotel at 53

>>14031956
>premade jarred pesto
>food of the gods
pick one

>>14031970
How do some people have such little self control

>>14030064
>tfw your vegetables are uncultured
>tfw your almonds remain inactive
>tfw your organic spirulina smoothie has non-alkalised water

Will I ever make it bros? Or am I doomed to mediocrity forever

>>14031970
>>uncle's shits are so foul at work he gets fired
HAHAHA

>>14031988
better get alkalising boi

>>14029914
i'd put my dick in her

>>14031981
I think he legitimately had autism and no one helped/cared.

>>14030534
check my quarantine eats. only grocery stores i use are either the ghetto one with weird shit in it, never the same thing twice, and the prices are so cheap it's actually scary, or else the cheap cantonese place with flies everywhere.
>a few bites of dessert hummus (key lime pie flavor) for breakfast, coffee, and 2 pots of black tea
>yogurt with red current jam for lunch and fiber + vit C pills, more coffee and tea
>dinner was vermicelli in miso soup plus half a packet of mustard pickled cabbage/radish (spicy chili flavor) that the cantonese sell for 30 cents a pouch
>snack was cheddar cheese cubes, tea, and coffee
yesterday:
>oatmeal with blueberries
>a pre-seasoned porkchop
>cheddar cheese cubes
>5 cups of coffee, 2 pots of black tea, 2 pots of green tea

>>14029416
>Baz Barrington
>Fat Bastard and Norfh FC Fan
My sides are gone

>>14030534
>6 am wake up
>6:30am Sugar free 0 cal red bull
>8am nothing
>12pm nothing
>3pm nothing
>5pm Handful of almonds and three baby bels
>right now, cooking some chicken and broccoli
>might snack on some hot sauce pork rinds later

>>14030534
You got a hand job at 8am? Best time for one to be honest

Today was boring so here's yesterday
>4:30 am coffee with cream
>8:00 sausage egg mcmuffin and a sausage burrito
>9:00 it's miller time while riding dirtbikes
>11:00 need something stronger - Canadian Club on the rocks
>2:30 hot chicken feast
>4:30 Canadian Club
>10:00 nitro stout and vanilla ice cream float (this was a mistake but very tasty)

>>14032292

>>14029914
I'd engage in sexual relations with that human female

>>14029416
I feel like this is missing 6-10 cans of carling

>>14030534
> Breakfast: I wake up too late for that, straight into lunch
> Lunch: 2 slices toasted brown bread with cheese, butter, ham + green tea
> Half a melon as a snack
> More tea throughout the day
> Dinner: Thai curry with aubergine and Chinese cabbage over brown rice and quinoa
> Chocolate chip cookie and camomile tea to round off the day

Pretty average day

>>14032292
>>14032296
Downlow chicken? this is a vancouver poster

>>14031926
why?

>>14031956
>Homemade ricotta in homemade tortellini with homemade pesto
>Jar of pesto over some spaghetti

>>14032317
>>14032292
>>14032296
It's called Tumble 22 in Austin, TX. Hot chicken seems to be the current food trend so there's a shit load of places that make it

>>14029301
>Puts her child to bed before cooking dinner
Wut?

>>14032375
Dinner is a meal for mommies only, sweetie.

>>14030064
looked it up, and "cultured" vegetables is really just lacto-fermented pickles

>>14032292
Does it count as a hand job if I do it with my numb hand that I slept on while lying in bed after I get up?

>>14030064

Yeah, I bet you eat emu meatballs for dinner every night, you fucking asshole

>>14032375
Its normal in America

>>14032608
No it's not

>>14032533
>wake up
>use your own cold, clammy, deadened hand to blindly slap at your flaccid pencil dick around your distended gut
>hand begins painfully tingling within a few seconds as it regains circulation
>mom walks in
You lead a sad life my friend

>>14030064
How much does that cost per day?

>>14029361
Surprised someone like you ended up on /ck/

>>14030064
>blending alkalised water and vinegar to make what is likely slightly acidic water

>>14030712
Pretty much how I eat. I just cook what I feel like that day. I mostly eat meat and vegetable, not because I'm on a diet but because I just don't like most high carb foods.

>>14032669
Who wakes up with a flaccid penis? Are you 60?

>>14030534
>1pm two slices of toast
>2pm five strawberries
>8pm two more slices of toast
Neet skelly 5ever

>>14030301

I'm in my 30s and know so many manchildren like this. Even married with kids and eating nothing but chicken nuggets and breakfast cereal, no vegetables or fish ever.

>>14031970
>somehow got a gastric sleeve
>ignored the diet ordered by his doctor
>gets Methodone to cope with the pain instead of changing his diet

Perhaps they should amend the hippocratic oath to include something like "don't help retards", probably better in the long run.

>>14030328

I mean maybe but that garbage diet didn't help

>>14031926
>Anybody who finds 'homemade coconut' funny has a tragic misunderstanding of the English language and should fuck off

>>14030663

My wife is from Ohio and this describes half of her family

>>14032669
Yeah, but does it count?

>>14029301
>What's the worst diet you've seen in someone?
The diet is pretty common in weight-conscious celebrity / public figure types that have dieticians and trainers, believe it or not. There's a nutrient rich super-foods only grazing every couple of hours, ph adjusted water, proper oils/fats, kind of nearly vegan diet. Very low carb, maybe even 2 servings of meat protein a week is fine with them. This is why they look so hot, getting just about enough nutrition but not quite enough, so they have pretty low bodyfat, glowing skin, no bloating so they can wear tight shirts, and just enough energy when needed so the diet restriction doesn't ruin the workout or the day.
I have a friend who does hcg injections every 6 months, and the calorie restriction that goes on while doing those injections is a strict ~500/cals per day without loss of muscle. I don't care how great it makes her look, zero ability to deal with that food starvation thing that goes on during that 3-6 week injection period. Just hot decaf coffee morning, chicken breast alone at lunch with a lettuce leaf, green salad at dinner, no dressing. That's the most extreme diet I've ever heard of, and it lasts for weeks.

>>14030030
>15yrs old
Once his metabolism slows down he'll be unhealthy and fat as fuck

>>14029914
I wonder what her asshole smells like after that early morning jaunt

>>14029914
Her macros not including the almond-milk cappuccino

>>14032945
No, in fact it makes you gay

>>14029301
>fish

Still a murderer.

>>14033010
>3389/1500mg sodium

>>14030534
>Post what you are today.
I'm a human

Today I ran out of groceries so I opted towards getting two large pizzas that I'll probably eat most of tonight
I had a piece of toast this morning so I'm pretty hungry by now

>>14030534
A shitty cumberlands farm wrap, some gummies. I was going to make a beurre jambon on the baguette I baked yesterday day but my ham fell on the floor so I have to put sliced turkey into this buttered baguette

>>14030845

based plate

>>14030020
>somehow she has the energy for training or a run every day.
avocado, chia seeds, rice cakes, nuts are high in cal
also the workouts are likely a half ass jog with the "weight training" consisting of light dbs and calisthenics

>>14030534
nachos in cheese whiz and a 40 full of hurricane, for dinner, i had a little caesar's pizza with a 40 full of hurricane

>>14029914
She looks good anon, would impregnate/10

>>14031410
>Maybe Amerifats should be forced to watch infomercials about salads and fruit on TV until they get it.
Dude there's literally constant ads like those on daytime tv, workout/diet programs, supplements, surgery, all kinds of shit.
The problem is it's all marketed as a silver bullet approach to losing weight and keeping it off.
None of it, not one fucking ad targets the core issue of lifestyle, the very foundation of shit that got them to become a fatass slob in the first place.

>>14032079
How do you cook the broccoli normally? Just steamed?

Mine is fine, so I’ll post my girlfriend’s, who eats 10-20 foods tops and is also an alcoholic.

>1700 - McDonald’s French fries and OJ
>2100 - grapes and cheddar cheese
>2200–0900 - two bottles of wine and 1/3 bottle of 30% vodka liqueur
>peanuts

>>14029914
Dang I was thinking that too.. like she must be one of those crazy skinny bitches and how does a man actually tolerate being with that.

She just lied about what she eats in a day and left out all the real food

>>14030064
Emu meatballs!!!

>>14030534
>7pm Cream soup w/potatoes, purple yam, carrots, onions, garlic, peppers, and mushrooms; radish kimchi; greek yogurt + cashews & almonds; 1 piece of leftover tomato stewed chicken; cashew chocolate ice cream; 3 double stuffed oreos w/cashew milk; 1 haunta wafer; spicy lays ruffled chips

>>14030534
Oh man uhhh

>10am cream of wheat w/maple syrup and coffee creamer, coffee w/cream and sugar for drink. Also one slice of toast with homemade wild violet jelly
>11am can of sprite
>1pm slice of pep pizza and can of sprite
>2pm half a cinnamon roll and glass of milk
>3pm penne pasta with tomato sauce and mont jack cheese
>5pm can of coke
>7pm portion of Panda express family feast with orange chicken, broc and beef, pepper steak, chow mein, and fried rice
>7:30pm repeat above but with apple juice
>11:30pm banana

It's 11:45 right now and I'm eyeballing two more slices of pizza and a sprite.

>>14029301
Back in college, I had a guy in my /tg/ group that would show up with 2 2L bottles of Iced tea and go through them in 3-4 hour session

>>14030534
today on a plate -
>brunch: leftover creamy chicken and veggie soup (exra spinach) - 300 cal
>dinner: cheeseburger and roasted red potatoes w/ dill and parsley - 500 cal
>alcohol - 1000 cal of vodka and diet soda

>>14033958
Lol I would do that and end up having to piss every few minutes.

>>14033010
>here's what she eats even though no amounts are given
Sure anon

>>14030534
>9AM 2 eggs over easy on toast
>1230PM pork cutlet sandwich and sake
>rest of the day until I pass out: sake
>6PM chicken curry

>>14030064
>7am: smoothie,water,and eggs
>830am: bread with liver/avocado spread and tea
>1230pm: fish and vegetables
>3pm: trail mix
>630pm: meatballs and vegetables with tea
>830pm: muffin and tea

he eats a lot, but it seems normal enough to me. He just dresses up his pretty basic diet with a lot of faggy words.

>>14029301
in junior high, there was a kid who would eat like 10 little debbie snack cakes for lunch everyday. he weighed closed to 300 lbs.
i check in on him periodically and i'm always surprised he's not dead.

>>14031410
problem with america is not the amerifats but american vegetables. unless you live near a farm or are rich, you're getting shit vegetables designed for transit not taste.

>>14029914
That's what passes for super fit in burger-land.
She's not bad for a mother but on her diet you'd expect her to be super-lean.

>>14030030
Kids like this are the reason why white-bread has so many supplements snuck into it. Looks like they need to find a way to squeeze iron into it too.

>>14030439
She's not writing that diet description because she wants to talk about what she eats. It's all about selling her juice, except the bits that are flexing on other moms of course.

Anyone got the cooking blog parody?
The one with the perfect family and lumberjack husband?

>>14031201
fuck off nazi tripfag

>>14029416
Bassed to the highest degree

>>14033816
your gf sounds low-key based

>>14030030
What is it about brits and unhealthy food obsessions

>>14030534
is it bad if i cant even remember what i ate today

>>14033940
bruhh

>>14031935
>bullying only works for a person who has dignity

Or you could just...talk.

>>14031201
Based

>>14031410
>enchiladitos
They make ya wanna eat em!

>>14034317
Maybe it’s because British cuisine is awful

I can't believe nobody posted my daily diet yet

>>14031134
It is a term they made up to mean they don't use manure as fertilizer, only the scraps from previous crops.

I don't care about that but they do make the best whole wheat bread in the world. Honestly I respect food manufacturers who are so autistic they invent new standards for themselves.

>>14034734
I prefer the meat and liquor diet but to each his own

>>14030030
>6 foot 2 and weighs 155 pounds
Thank Mr Skeltal

>>14032414
If you drop the dumb shit like alkalised water and activated almonds and meme tea it's a good menu.

>>14029301
Boy this woman must be a fucking blast to hang out with.

Rate mine

7am wakeup, 2 x coffees
6pm roast dinner , chicken, roast carrot, potato, yorkshire pudding, peas
10pm giant bag of bacon crisps and a large bar of galaxy chocolate

>>14031926
Who activated your almonds, anon?

>>14034734
>1 bottle of wine a day
Yeah nah. That's what I need just to get out of the bed.

>>14030064
Palaeo Pete is now trying to con people with magical Coronavirus curing LED boxes

>>14031347
Because the door has more self-control than the fat obese fuck

>>14029301
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1TWvXwgKr0

>>14031926
what the fuck is a 'homemade coconut' then?

>>14030030
>15 year old
I thought this would have been a story about a 40 year old, this is just some picky eater teen

>>14031997
>2 pots of tea
Do people do this? Can I do this?

>>14032692
>Surprised
kek

>>14029301
Not only does that sound like an absolutely miserable existence but it is also complete lies. I guarantee she keeps sneaking snacks and extra creamy latte shakes, but doesn't count them because she's "working them off" with a minuscule amount of exercise. If all she ate was a bit of salad a day, she wouldn't have such a fat face. God I hate women.

Nobody has posted this classic?

>>14030534
I'm an ape, ooga booga nigger.

>>14030064
pete fucking evans, biggest poofter in all of australia

>>14029920
Did you go to a religious high school?

>>14035352
That's not real. Thompson was just fucking with the journalist.

>>14031858
wrong, the yolk is there to nourish the growing chick if the egg is fertilized. She doesn't eat the yolk because of the fats, which is retarded as lipids are not the same as saturated fats. She's also missing out on half the egg's protein by not eating the yolk

>>14034355
>>14033940
Update, I ended up going to sleep instead of having more pizza.

>>14029914
the Maltese are truly a cursed race, I've never seen any without stocky builds and cro-magnon ugg faces

>>14034316
It’s actually very tiring

>>14032079
Based keto bro!

My last 24 hours probably
200ml gin
1 party bag of flaming hot cheetos
1 party bag salt chips
1kg mixed lollies
Mixed cereal
Curry and rice

>>14029301
Her diet is basically starvation
She’s probably cold and anxious all the time
These people are insane

>>14035505
Anon most of the yolk has saturated fat . Lipid means fat
This thread has illuminated how ignorant most of this sub is
The other guy saying “they’ll need to figure out how to add iron to bread!”
The rest of you guys advocating two meals a day or saying these meme diets are pretty good aside from a few things

You’re all too dumb for me, my reason for leaving this god forsaken website is it’s populated with tards

>>14034317
>eating yourself blind
This is obviously beyond pickiness, some kind of anorexia?

>>14032347
Because it's part of a list which is clearly indicated by the comma

>>14036077
>Lipid means fat
Yes, but not all fats are saturated fats.

>>14029301

How can anyone believe this horseshit? No way she eats the same shit every day.

>>14036077
>this sub
don't come back

>>14030534

10am: finish off my whiskey and coke I left on my desk last night
12pm-sleep: pizza and whiskey

>>14030064
>Activated Almonds
Activated Almond
>Activated Almonds
Activated Almonds
>Activated Almonds

Yesterday
9am nothing
12am extra large cup of black tea with milk
3pm nothing
6pm nothing
9pm a full bottle of white wine
12pm a huge bowl of guac and a package of fried pita chips, in addition to a spicy vegetable stew

8am: Microwaved spaghetti and meatballs
10am: JUICED Monster: Mango Loco
12pm: A rustlers rib burger
5pm: Chinese chicken curry and sweet and sour chicken from tesco
9pm: A tube of BBQ pringles

Rate my diet

>>14030534
>12am: finished off a 12 pack of shiner bock
>8am: pina colada bang energy drink, 20mg Adderall, 3 miniature microwave pancakes, 2 camel cigarettes
>10am: 1 cup of black coffee and 1 cigarette
>noon: microwave chicken patty and Adderall
>5pm: time to crack open another brewski
Why yes I do have a unfulfilling IT job, how did you know?

>>14033815
Roasted

>>14036077
>most of this sub is
Stirlitz has failed

>>14030534
>Oatmeal
>Banana
>Pear
>Nachos and cheese
>Trail mix
I'm a labourer.

>>14030020
I don't know where this bullshit meme about being deathly tired because you haven't eaten your maintenance calorie intake comes from, I subsisted on 500 kcal a day for a month while lifting boxes all day and I felt absolutely fine. Its always some obese 25+ year old woman who eats a salad smothered on dressing and a Twix bar for lunch that goes on about how they're literally dying before lunch.

>>14030534
>9 am: cup of coffee
>12 am: sprite zero can
>2 pm: 2 spearmint gum
>4 pm: glass of water
>6.30 pm (current time): thinkgen of another coffee

>>14029961
>no one can go 4 hours without eating unless they are sleeping. they would be dead

>>14036214
>I subsisted on 500 kcal a day for a month
That is absolute and complete bullshit. If you weren't a complete blob of fat you can't survive on 20-25% of your needed calorie intake for a month without your body eating your muscles away.

>>14029961
t.american

>>14036286
>>14036277
fucking LEAVE

>>14029416
Why doesn't he go to Greggs?

>>14036283
I weighed around 270 pounds when I started so yeah, I was(am) a fat fuck. And I lost a lot of weight. Now I just do OMAD, feels a lot better.
My point is that people don't just lie around like listless corpses because you haven't eaten 2000 kcal or whatever your maintenance is, and you won't die from doing some exercise even though you're in a decifit.

>>14030534
>10am coffee, orange juice, and a couple of biscuits
>12pm another coffee
>6pm pork, chorizo and chickpea stew over rice with a fried egg on top
>water

>>14029301
Why does she wait until her daughter is in bed to start dinner? What does her daughter eat?

>>14029381
Of course he was a skelly, doesn't matter what you eat if you only eat like 600 calories two times a day

t. used to be underweight with a similar diet as a teenager

>>14029862
lol, worked on the orthopedic ward and we had a dude who had to have a bed specially ordered for and his mum would smuggle food in for him (mostly pork pies and crisps).

He was on the ward for a year before he got home because he refused to leave and the NHS are pushovers.

>>14031142
Jesus I had to move back in with my parents because of corona and I found 7 different boxes of fucking cookies. It's no wonder I was fat as a kid

>>14032414
nah it means they study the classics

>>14031926
what is it then you mong?

>>14031142
Sounds exactly, play by play, what my dad ate. He died at 62.

>>14031964
HA no lol he probs just found a shit as depravable as himself

>>14036486
A homemade muffin containing coconut, carob, blueberry, goji, and stevia

>>14036331
Who's greg?

>>14030534
>8am 2 mini muffins and a spoonful of pb
>1pm homemade broccoli chicken pasta (steamed broccoli, grilled chicken, and rotini noodles)
>5pm leftover bbq ribs from last night

>>14030064
do people who eat like this even work for a living? how long does it take to prepare these meme meals

>>14030534
woke up at 1pm and had three packets of oatmeal with a spoonful of peanut butter in it and a glass of water

>>14031926
This. It's obviously a "coconut, carob, blueberry, goji, and stevia muffin" that is homemade. Fucking ESLs.

>>14030534
7am: while hungover I ate half a cold pork chop and I drank some water and a bit off soap in the shower

9:45: a 3egg Omar’s omelette (all meats, onion, peppers, American and Swiss) with rye toast and home fries. 1.5 liters of water

2:00: A pork chop, a bratwurst, half an onion l, a bell pepper l, a handful mushrooms and a tomato. All veggies where tossed in olive oil salted and grilled. As well as a cup of shitty instant coffee with a spoonful of hot chocholate mix. Another liter of water

Dinner will most likely be 2 large oranges and some sparking waters

>>14031142
Same. I lost all my weight when I began feeding myself and still am a lazy fuck who does no cardio. I try to encourage them to eat differently because they're developing health issues from a lack of a dietary fiber but I'm just coming to accept they're going to die sooner than later.

>>14030084
I've no idea why, but I'm in literal tears over this post. kek

>>14030534
>12pm: half a Red Baron pizza, 30mg Desoxyn.
>1pm: 200ml skol, 20mg norco, 2mg klonopin

Probably not gonna have an appetite to eat anymore food today.

>>14030968
This image triggers me. It's four words.

>>14035486

How'd you guess?

>>14034734
...so 3 eggs, a small steak, and a bottle of fucking wine? with tons of coffee.
i got fucked up on 2 glasses of wine last night, got way too drunk and have a hangover. idk how alcoholics do it. i've been drinking since i was 12 (28 now) and that's the best i can do.
>>14035249
what do you mean? i usually drink like 6 pots of tea a day, plus coffee water and sometimes milk. i pee at least every hour. do you think 2 pots is a lot or something? the pot makes about 2 coffee mugs of tea, maybe 2 and a half. i'm not sure how abnormal that amount of tea is though.
>>14036283
I've done that before (3 month period, but with a few splurge days a month where I'd get a burger and fries, maybe once every other week). but i started blacking out and fainting a few times a day so I had to start eating more.
>anorexia
no. depression.

>>14036131
It just means sprouted. That is the function of a seed, so it has been activated. Nothing wrong with it.

>>14029301
My roommate in uni started the year by buying a huge bag of frozen chicken breast, and would periodically make "curry" with rice, chicken, and curry flavoring. Problem is he ran out of chicken before the end of the year. He's not poor, he could've bought more chicken if he wanted to. But he didn't feel like it so instead he just made a ton of rice and ate that before meals. Just rice. That's it.

>>14037701
Honestly, he was probably better off just eating the plain rice.

>>14031970
>gets Methodone to cope with the pain instead of changing his diet

That is fucking degenerate...

>>14037711
Checked, you're probably correct

>>14033001
He's already unhealthy as he's missing out on significant nutrients. He probably won't get fat if he keeps his intake under control

>>14032692

Lazy and neglectful parents. I ate junk food, moved to microwave meals, learned to cook for myself

>>14030534
>0600 orange reign
>0700 american sprirts and another orange reign
>1000 a thing of hostess donettes and another cig
>1300 a chimichanga and a 5th of tequila passed around
>1700 like 5 soft shell tacos and some negra modelo
the mex is just because its cinco de drinko

>>14030064
>cultured veggies

Interesting. Makes me wonder who defined that one.

>>14030534
just a lollipop and a shit load of diet cola.
Yes, I KNOW

>>14031925
>ramen noodles from microwave ramen cooker-it's shit
Anon why? There's nothing easier than boiling water.

>>14029416
god I wish that were me

>>14029914
impossible to say what she looks like under that circus tent.

>>14030064
>everybody on 4chan thinks almond activation is a meme, but it actually isn't
Idiots, all of you.

>>14031970
grimy till the end

>>14030534
so far today
>

maybe I'll get a pizza later tonight.

>>14029301
I used to have 2 double whoppers with 2 large fries and 2 large cokes every day.
Got tired of being fat, started eating 2 cans of tuna with a scoop of miracle whip a day.
Got me to 125 pounds but weak as fuck.

>>14038206
Whats the point in sprouting an almond?

>>14030534
>~5oz breakfast sausage
>Bowl of frosted shredded mini-wheats
>Box of mac n cheese

I also had about a quart of gatorade over the course of the day; it's hot and I was doing lawn work. Don't know about dinner yet.

>>14029914
all that crap is utterly worthless. All she had to do was eat non-LARPing unretarded food, and not consume sugar, which she still apparently does.

>>14029914
That big flabby arm is disgusting

>>14030534
man for a cooking board you moon crickets sure eat garbage. That said, I didn't eat very well today either
>7:00am: water
>8:45 cup of full fat plain greek yogurt (fage)
>12:30 company lunch with the office: mexican food, half an IPA, and a mini bundt carrot cupcake
>5:00 french bread and lots of butter (i don't normally eat bread)
>5:30 Cliff Builder Bar while sunbathing
>6:30 more Fage yogurt and some granola
I'm gonna make either a meaty bolognese sauce and skip the spaghetti or a bacon, egg, cheese and onion wrap for dinner later
and for dessert i may whip up some cream with a dash of sugar

>>14030534
Yesterday, since it's 5AM here.

>7.30 coffee before workout
>9.30 cup of milk, leftover fish from day before, egg white omelet (was a leftover from a carbonara) and a cookie I made
>13.00 cup of mixed vegetables, homemade egg pasta (tagliolini, it's like thin spaghetti) with a walnut pesto
>16.00 cup of milk, half a Fage yogurt, one small duck egg
>20.30 cup of mixed vegetables, rabbit liver with mustard (I don't particularly enjoy the taste of liver, just eat it to get iron)

>>14039220
>That big flabby arm is disgusting

>>14038919
It makes them feel like they participated in something.

>>14030534
>9:45am - wake up for work at 10am, drink 2 litres of water over next hour
>11:30am - Monster Energy Ultra Zero (sips until about 4pm)
>1:30pm - homemade burger, KFC boxed meal or HSP
>3:30pm - 3 glasses, each of a different V8 juice
>7pm - something snacky like a pack of microwaved rice or a peanut butter sandwich

>>14038919
You can digest it more thoroughly.

>>14030534
Wake up
8:00 PBJ sandwich on rye
10:00 summersausage
1:00 Sun sandwich from local deli
5:00 Barbacoa tacos with cilantro lime rice
10:00: My Wife's Pussy

>>14036214
>I subsisted on 500 kcal a day for a month while lifting boxes all day and I felt absolutely fine

How fat are you? I'm underweight and if I eat less than 1200 calories (maintenance being 1400) I start to feel sluggish and tired

>>14037454
Dude religious high schools are notorious for producing the spergy-est of the spergs.

>>14029961
T. Fatties

How much do you weigh m8?

>>14030064
>activates his almonds

>>14035500
You can tell by the amount of writing time. Way too much for him.

>>14030064
This one always activates my almonds.

>>14030665
Too much carbs and not enough meat, but otherwise not that bad.

Worked with a “vegan” guy for a while. He ate two jelly donuts before the job started in the morning, then he’d eat a bag of salt and vinegar chips with a can of coke for lunch. Every. Single. Day.

Not sure what he did with the rest of his day after work, but that was definitely the most consistently bad diet I’ve ever surviving off of.

>>14029301
this bitch is some sort of monster
spends an hour with her kid then sends her to bed without dinner? also who the hell makes dinner at 8pm?

>>14031201
Why are avatarfags bannable but retard cringemonkeys like le ebin namefaggot nazi man are allowed? Fucking idiotic.

>>14040169
Have you tried reporting him? Unreported violations are usually left alone as community accepted unless they're outright illegal.

>>14031366
People waste their lives, Anon. Make sure you don't do the same... as soon as you're out of lockdown, of course.

>>14040180
But is it technically a violation? Catchphrases and avatarfagging are violations but (for some fucking reason) stupid names used continuously are not.

>>14040203
Pick out all the low quality ones. They'll get the message eventually.

>>14032347
>>14032938
>>14035210
>>14036486
Fuck me, /ck/ is even dumber than I thought.

>>14032930
Nobody sticks to the old hippo nowadays. If the first is 'do no harm', then you can't even take blood samples.

>>14031970
They shouldn't have given him a sleeve, it's serious fucking business.

>>14032003
It was the "still in fookin' bed mate" that got me.

>>14032292
I suspect he's referring to Hungry Jack's, the Australian version of Burger King.

>>14034317
Thanks, came here to post this.

>>14036133
>in what fucking way is it /k/ related
I've never been to /k/ and even I know how catching a live deer is /k/-related.

>>14030534
Salami, mushrooms, raisins, cheese, basic salad with plenty of oils, cheese and pickle sandwich, satsumas, tomato, brownie, half a tub of salted caramel and honeycomb ice cream. No prizes for guessing what happened.

>>14036429
Her daughter's a breatharian.

>>14036459
Yeah, it's relatives that do it, as well as those fucking sweets trolleys. Those daft grannies, they think they're being nice.

>>14038206
I will activate my dick in your ass.

>>14034317
What a retard. He had three years to do something about it. Just eat some supplements if your stupid brain hates icky vegetables and fruits.

>>14040404
I'm being entirely serious when I say that there is an element of natural selection at work here.

>>14030206
Lmao

>>14030534
>12:30 pm Peanut butter and honey sandwich and some Doritos
>2:30 pm left over sweet and sour chicken my brother brought home
>8:30 1/3rd a tub of mint choc ice cream and the rest of the chicken

>>14039578

Haven't heard that meme until you mentioned it. I mostly just hear the shit about the drug problems and whatever. You're not wrong though in hindsight. The ketchup wasn't the creepiest, grossest, and most autistic thing he's done.