/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>wife started crying
rightfully so

>>13926481
>Crossing that line.
You should always say it's good, even if it's lying.

>>13926481
>this old thread again
if this is how you entertain yourself, I suggest you get out more

>>13926481
I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant. She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

>>13926481
You should beat that whore for presenting you with that plate of slop.

>>13926481
fantasizing about being in a relationship again, huh anon?

>>13926490
based

>>13926490
I hope this is real

>>13926488
If you never tell the truth, there will never be any attempt to get better.

>>13926490
Inspirational

>>13926530
sorry it's pasta

>>13926481
Looks like there is some seasoning in the Bread

>>13926481
Better than starving retard. Put some salt and pepper on that bitch and it's probably fine. No reason to make your wife feel like shit because "le superior cooking skills"
cringe

>>13926809
This. I bet she was really excited to serve him that breakfast given how hard she took the response

be a better husband faggot

>>13926481
I mean I can’t taste so how will I know?

Find good things to say about say the meal even if it’s a thank you then lead into “this would be great with salt/pepper/whatever”.

She’ll use that information later, you get better breakfasts in the future, and you won’t make your wife cry.

U fuk

>>13926488
Fuck your feelings. If you've made something shitty you should know it so you could improve in the future.

>>13926490
Based

>>13926823
100% this. you have to give women the confidence to cook. Women are like children in the fact that they want to please you and make you happy. Go give her a hug, apologize for coming off too strong but explain to her that criticism helps you grow. Then fuck her brains out and tell her to make you a sammich

>>13926844
I would totally be inspired to make a better breakfast after this.

>>13926490
Haven't seen that one in a while.

>>13926490
Knew this would be here and is the only reason I entered the thread

>>13926481
You need to get her to cook more often, and slyly supervise her, dropping hints on stuff to do or add. Call it a cooking date, or whatever. She'll improve by cooking more often, not less. Also, tell her that you appreciated her time and effort. If she's too upset, she'll start to give up, and you'll end up cooking for yourself forever.

divorce her and get a new wife

>>13926481
>make wife cry
>run to /ck/ to post about it
Sure, buddy.

>>13926481
looks fine. just douse it in hot sauce you ungrateful prick

>based bland breakfast wife poster

>>13926809
This guy gets it.

>>13926490
I cam here just to see this, never gets old.

>>13926481
Dammit anon. You fucked up! It's always good, even when it isn't.

Honestly just tell her to season the eggs and potatoes in a relatively nice way.

>>13926850
Because you're a fucking faggot

>>13926481
You’re a dick

>>13926490
classic

>>13926481
you could beat her until she makes it better
or suggest what she could do to make it suitable for you
you're a snob though, that looks like a great breakfast.
i prefer to put potatoes through a cheese grater, wring them out in a couple paper towels, and make hash browns

>>13926481
>letting a woman cook
There's the problem. Men are better cooks.

>>13926481
it looks like dogshit, OP, but that's not the point. When your wife makes you something to eat, thank her, eat it, and keep your dumb mouth shut. You want her to improve? Make her the same breakfast some other time, but how you'd like it. See? Dumbass nigger

>>13926490
this pasta, anon, she is fucking stale

>>13926490
>>13926481

Thank you for saving this copypasta

>>13926488
>t. lets his wife control the money
how often does tyrone fuck her?

>>13926853
Me too

>>13927178
Like your cavernous cooch?

Instead of saying something you should just turn it into a competition. Make her breakfast tomorrow, and blow hers out of the water. Explain your cooking process carefully. Never juxtapose her breakfast with yours. Her female mind is already at work, swimming with jealousy over your abilities. Many breakfasts will occur, occasionally you will learn something from her, and she will certainly get better learning from you. Eventually the competition will be fierce. You'll collaborate some mornings, the fiery passion of your breakfast warring spiralling into lusty battles of subtext.
Two eggs and a piece of bacon...
"Breasts or balls?" you both wonder...
You will have sex while cooking breakfast. Those sloppy, over cooked eggs will be the best. You'll start conflating breakfast with sexuality, and the forms of pleasure you'll explore will never compare to anything you might scrape from skillet to plate.
Don't make your wife cry, you fucking faggot. Make her moan.

>>13927046
Do you soak them to rinse off the starch? Because you should.

>>13927389
What does it do

>>13927396
You want your hashbrowns to be ncie and crispy. When you don't rinse the starch off it sticks to the outside and gets crispy, not the potato underneath. So you get these soft mushy potato shreds and all the crispy powdered starch just sloughs off. Plus it tastes weird, like dirt and cornstarch. Rinse off your starch, buh.

>>13926481
it does look boring as fuck

>>13926490
p based ngl

>>13927418
I will next time

>>13927426
>adds a dried dog biscuit and some over cooked belly strips
>"hahah pathetic normie, so boring! ahah!"

>>13927436
What are you even talking about? Are you ill? Do you have the sweet and sour sicken?

>>13927426
Is that falafel

>>13927436
>overcooked
non-crispy bacon is trash, might as well just put regular ham on it
>>13927456
it's a latke (potato pancake), crispy on the outside and bready on the inside

>>13927452
There are melanin enhanced fellows in the stratosphere who's epidermis emits a luminescence in the absence of light

>>13927426
the fact that you posted this thinking it's any better is embarrassing

>>13927470
fucking latkes from a bag lol

>>13926481
You're an asshole

>>13927481
got them from a bakery, never frozen

>>13927470
how do i become as big of a faggot as you?
im asking for a friend. he wants to show how much of a better cook he is than his wife's boyfriend

>>13926481
I think her boyfriend actually appreciates her cooking.

>>13926490
reported.
Domestic violence is NEVER funny
fuck the children here saying "based".

This is why she bangs other dudes while you're at work.

god there are so many reddit refugees on this site responding to years old pasta

>>13927531
We've always responded to pasta because it's fun you ridiculous newfag. Your concerted effort to sound old and grizzled only makes you sound shrill and desperate for attention.

>>13927554
yeah i’m sure you and everyone else was only pretending to be retarded, i’ve heard it before.

>>13927520
cringe

>>13926490
As soon as I saw the OP, I knew this post was coming

>>13926481
>>13926481
I will actually try to be helpful.
If you are the main worker in the family and most of the income comes from you then its logical that your wife should take on the cooking part if you are tired after work.This is case number one. Case number 2 is if if you aren't tired after work or before work, then help her with the cooking. Do not take people for granted.

Lets get back to case number one.
She cooked bad food, it happens, she didn't put in much effort? Its normal. Human beings get used to things and stop trying that much after some time. What you need to do right now OP is to make your wife WANT to cook good food for you. Because if she wants it, then she will do it. Instead of being an autist and just blurting out that the food is bland, tell her that you really appreciate that she put in the effort to cook for you. Then add that you also would want something changed. Tell her what you want cooked and be nice about it. If you dont like it, tell her how you want it next time. Dont say "This is too dry and bland". Say after you finish your meal "Thank you baby, for the next time I would like to try it with more pepper and garlic". If you approach this whole thing coldly, she will hold a grudge against you. A negative memory. And over long periods of time these things build up. Women in general are pathetic subhumans when it comes to holding a grudge. But its not their fault. Its just how they are. (1/2)

continue

>>13927644
So be nice about it. She is your wife. Make each others life easier instead of bringing her down like that. Try to let go of any emotional impact this thing might have on you and work for a better outcome next time. A bit of niceness helps everyone.

What you could do right now to repair this situation is to buy her a flower on your way to home. Surprise her and say that you are sorry for making her cry this morning and that life's troubles get to you. Help her with the next cooking. Make her feel special. Then finally say that you would appreciate it a lot if she (insert changes that you want in your food).

Dont be a feminine pushaway in this whole thing. Be the masculine optimistic supportive positive. Everything will go fine.
(2/2)

>>13926490
reported
to the BASED department

>>13927520
Idk I found it funny

>>13926490
Based pastadad

>>13927644
>>13927646
Or just throw the plate in her face. She'll get the message

>>13926481
Making your wife cry is not cool, I hope you apologized and gave her a hug

>>13927520
>>13927706

>>13926481
I don't believe you, you don't have a wife and you made this yourself.

>>13926490
holy fucking based

>>13926530
Fucking newfag

>>13927378

>>13926490
powerful

>>13926481
Dude you clearly added no seasoning to the potatoes, the eggs look overcooked as well.

>>13927378

>>13926490
Before feminism men didn't have to act like monsters to get some respect at home

>>13928865
All I really have to do to get respect at home is occasionally make a decent meal and tell my gf off when she's being lazy

>>13928848
gd it, why must i be confined to these rusty shackles of modern society...?
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXw_FAQDvMc

My wife cooked like shit until i started cooking better food
She started making better food because i told her some retarded sassy thing like "your spaghetti tastes like sheeeeit" in a gordon ramsey voice

>>13928865
Yeah, we had the option of beating our wives for the simple pleasure of it.

>>13926481
Some are retarded and if they don't eat the food they make, it will suck 50% of the time

>>13926481
They do this on purpose so you wont ask them or expect them to make breakfast, next thing you know you're making that fat dumb bitch breakfast and wearing a pink apron while doing so. You've been had sucker.

>>13926481
>What do you guys think? It wasn't very good.
She forgot your ketchup or what

>>13926481
You need to give your wife more money to buy better groceries. It's not her fault if you don't tell her what you like and what you'd prefer.
If you did she'd work on her cooking to be able to make you a hearty breakfast, and you should thank her for it.
Now go apologise and tell her it's your fault you fucking douchebag.

hello newfags