/ck/ - Food & Cooking

For today's dish, we have something super simple that you can whip up in about 5 minutes, ut it'll taste so good it you can tell everyone that you spent at least an hour prepping! I d-don't know why, but you could do it!

It's called "Brown Sugar & Mustard Glazed Pork Tenderloin"; It's c-cheap and a delicious alternative to chicken

>>13820342
tits or gtfo you whore

>>13820348
No t-thank you <4


Okay. So for this super simple dish, all you're going to need is the following:
-1 1lb pork tenderloin
-1 tbsp Brown Sugar
-1 tbsp Yellow Mustard
-1 tsp Salt
-Dash of pepper

Aaaaand that's it! So simple!

S-so the first thing that we add to the glaze is the brown sugar. This is a v-very easy step so I am sure you'll have no trouble following along.

Nice

>>13820359
I'm g-glad you like it <4


Next is the mustard. If you w-want a tangier flavor, feel free to add a little more mustard, or if you want to use some Dijon mustard, who am I to stop you. No one, t-that's who.

why is this attention hoe on ever board I go to

I would offer your father a chest of finest cedar and a third of my beet and leek crops this year in exchange for your hand in marriage

>>13820363
I'm n-not here for attention, sorry <4

>>13820365
S-sorry, I'll decline <4


Alright, I know m-my paper is a little cut off and I know I m-mentioned before that you add ONE teaspoon of salt, but it's time to do that.

Add 1 tsp of salt to the m-mix~

you have my attention sir

>>13820370
G-glad to hear it <4


So, now it's time to add the pepper. This one is up to you! Only you know your t-tastebuds and how much pepper you can handle, but I put about a 1/2 - 1 t-teaspoon of pepper into my dish.

I don't like too much because it can be really overpowering.

What in the goddamn

>>13820381
J-just a cooking show by a silly girl <4


Okay then~ N-now it's time to mix up the sauce that you're gonna pour over the tenderloin! M-mix it up real good so that you combine all the stuff.

You should probably use _not_ a fork like me.

>>13820348

Time to pat the pork! G-give it a little head pat...
Pat the pork dry so that our sauce sticks to it b-better.
It's important to do this step otherwise, your pork won't glaze correctly.

Pretty quick-easy recipe, gotta try it later

what the fuck is this shit

>>13820393
It's v-very tasty <4

>>13820394
Cooking with Alice <4


Sauce? Yes. Sauce. Sauce the pork so that it's covered evenly and make sure that you get all the nooks and crannies!

I used a knife to spread it around but off camera I ended up just using my hand (which you should of washed several times by now, 20 seconds each time!!) to get it completely covered.

>>13820394
some attention whore fishing for (you)s from thirsty orbiters
sage and move along

>>13820397
you said this will take 5 minutes. it's been 10.

>>13820394
A woman who hasn't learned the value of an open hand, i'd say

Can't wait to try this out. Thanks for the mini vids and title cards. They soothe my autism.

>>13820402
S-sorry, I'm not into attention <4

>>13820403
I'm p-posting on several boards, my apologies <4

>>13820405
I w-wouldn't back down even if struck <4
Cooking is a womans soul, after all~


Now it's time to bake. Bake that loin til it's at least 145F. That's the temp that pork is safe to eat at.

t should be a nice pink color and if you take it out a degree or two before it's done, that's okay because the pork will continue to cook a little after it's out of the oven. You want to rest your pork for at least 5 minutes, tented with foil, before you eat it.

>>13820407
It's m-my pleasure <4 I also d-do these on /b/, /bant/, and /soc/ if you m-miss them here, as /ck/ tends to ban me <4

>>13820342
Pork tenderloin is amazing, maybe the best cut of all meats, but I can think of a hundred things I'd rather put on it than mustard. Nice effort in the presentation.

>>13820420
T-thank you kindly <4 Sorry it is n-not to your taste!


Alright Anonymous! Dinner is served~ I hope that you enjoyed this meal as much as I enjoyed making it for you <4

>implying I can find these ingredients in a shop nowadays

Tip top joke thanks I'll be sure to try it out next year

this is the closest i've gotten to a girl cooking me a meal in months

>>13820428
I f-found them all on the shelves here, in NYC, in the epicenter <4

I'm s-sorry you cannot, but I did p-pick things left over!


Thank you so much for joining me!
This was something quick that I threw together you with stuff that I had in my pantry, and you should too! It's only 5 ingredients!

Have a g-great rest of your day, Anonymous <4
Stay safe and d-don't panic <4 There will be more tomorrow! If you n-need help with food or money during these trying times, p-please feel free to email me at loveoverwhelming@gmail.com

<4

>>13820436
your hair is nice

>>13820405
fucking kek

>>13820467
Thank you k-kindly <4

>>13820436
So that's not your kitchen, right? You'd have to be a millionaire to have that place in NYC.

>>13820475
Stop pretending to stutter like a little bitch.

>>13820481
T-that is a green screen, b-but my kitchen was quite large w-when I used to show it <4 People attempted to dox me, so n-now I use a green screen.

>>13820484
I'm not <4

>>13820484
b-but muh anime larp!

what in the good goddamn is this cringey bullshit all for some garbage "recipe"

>>13820490
It w-was quite tasty actually <4

>>13820489
How exactly is an imageboard "live action"?

whore

>>13820494
N-not at all, but you are entitled to your opinion <4

>>13820342
Retard jannies are going to delete this thread like the last 10 of them. I don't even like these garbage threads but at least they're about cooking. Of course they'll still keep the brap threads up. FUCK JANNIES AND FUCK MODS

whore.

>>13820500
It'll be fine <4

>>13820432
>in months

>>13820502
You used to have audio to go with the posts. It was kinda cute

>>13820500
fuck yourself you thirsty orbiter

hey jannies, clean this shit up too while your at it. for free. dumb niggers

>>13820506
M-my voice is recovering from streaming <4
Next time~

>>13820342
How has nobody until now realised this is a tranny? Lmao, imagine thinking actual girls use that posting style and avatarfag with anime.

>>13820342
When did you get such a fancy kitchen ?

>>13820432
>in months
fuck off normie.

>>13820511
I'm n-not, sorry <4 Either a tranny n-nor an avatarfag nor, frankly, from anime <4

>>13820512
That's a g-green screen, though my kitchen is q-quite nice <4

why are there such low standards for american women?

>>13820509
What's your stream?

>>13820512
Wait, green screen. I r retard

>>13820511
I wish she was, but she 100% isn't

>>13820516
I d-don't think I'm anything but average.

>>13820518
https://www.twitch.tv/celtyplays
https://www.youtube.com/celtyplays

And m-my cooking video play list: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWyjoMb04tM&list=PLyT82Ckr2Mb74Pw8ZJZ61o57Ax5sg3vZw

>>13820516
why the fuck would you take the effort to document making a mediocre dish?

>>13820520
How do you know?

>>13820527
It's a q-quite good dish, makable by people w-who cannot easily get to the market during the pandemic <4

>>13820529
M-my vagina sort of makes it obvious w-what my sex is, t-to be honest.

>>13820530
Why are you on this shithole of a website?

what a shit thread. what other boards did you post this shit on so i can report it there too

>>13820536
I'm here t-to help Anonymous <4
Been doing s-so since 2011!

>>13820537
Feel f-free to report, I'll simply make more tomorrow~

>>13820530
Are you cute?

>>13820542
I d-do my best <4

i hate pork loin but i like the thread. gj

>>13820548
R-really? What about it don't you like?

>>13820549
it always tastes and feels the same on the inside no matter what you do to it

>>13820342
post more of your braid

>>13820553
Hm. I t-think by searing it, you c-can give it a nice crust and t-then it'll have a different texture? Might help?

>>13820554
Ah, s-sorry, my Unohano cosplay isn't ready yet <4

>ITT: not noticing cancer from /b/ or the extreme homosexual agenda of /bant/.

All y'all need to neck yourself, asap.

>>13820556
S-sorry dear, I'm just trying to help people with recipes during these trying times <4

Thanks again alice! See you next time!

>>13820562
S-see you tomorrow <4

Women can't even cook a basic meal. This is why I only date tranners.

kill yourself :^)

>>13820526
r u tranny?

>>13820567
No t-thank you <4

>>13820566
It w-was quite tasty <4

>>13820568
Biological female here <4 Female born and raised <4

>>13820569
STOP STUTTERING

>>13820572
C-can't stop, won't stop <4

>>13820569
How big is your dick? Cut or uncut?

>>13820579
I d-don't have one, I was born with and still possess a vagina <4

>>13820581
Lame

>>13820587
this user is underaged

>>13820487
>People attempted to dox me
Is that why you're doing this on /ck/ instead of /b/? Less chance of aspies tryna dox you?

>>13820598
I p-posted it twice on /b/ today <4 See?
>>>/b/823477197

>>13820568
Go to /bant/ and ask about poster. Made a resurgance of recent...thought the nightmare was over...

>>13820602
oh look it's the guy from /bant/ who tries to argue a 26 year old woman is selling organs on amazon

>>13820526
Don't mean to be out of line.
But do you do this for fun or are you trying to grow your twitch/youtube?
I know you've been doing this for a while, and I lurk in your twitch off and on, but I don't think it's grown much over all that time.

>>13820605
Neither <4 I d-do it to help Anonymous.

>>13820405
I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant. She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

>>13820605
"A while" is 9 years, only a few of which she's had a twitch

>>13820601
Ah. I avoid /b/ now because it's mostly just porn and less /random/

>>13820613
I d-disagree <4 There is still good things there.

>>13820616
Have you ever considered posting on /r9k/?
I feel like it would be worth it just as a social experiment

>>13820608
kys wannabe thot

>>13820620
I h-have posted on /r9k/, b-but the set up is longer. I n-need to carefully trace my pictures.

>>13820622
B-because I want to help Anonymous?

>>13820608
That's nice.
It's hard to think of people putting effort into things these days without an ulterior motive.

>>13820624
What the hell is your end game?

>>13820627
I'm d-doing this every day due to the outbreak <4

>>13820629
My end game? H-help as many people as I can from 4chan!

>>13820629
attention

>>13820633
I h-have no desire for attention

>>13820504
lel

>>13820612
I honestly don't remember the first time I saw these threads. I've been on 4chan since a bit before 100m get. But I didn't really pay attention to them until she started plugging her twitch

THE FUCKING CATBLOGGER TACOBELLFAG AND NOW THIS FUCKING TRANNY
MODS MODS MODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HIDE AND SAFED
ADD FILTERS FOR THIS FUCKING <4
KYS MOTHERFUCKER

>>13820632
Oh hell yeah, I'll start checking this board every day I guess

>>13820642
I'm n-not a tranny, sorry <4

>>13820643
Check /b/, /bant/, and /soc/ as w-well <4
Since I get banned from here often.

>>13820641
I n-never plugged it; Anonymous all b-but forced me to make it in 2017, s-so I did so <4

>>13820632
God, I hope you die from this virus, or get raided by a bunch of drunk rednecks.

>>13820651
Why?

>>13820649
When you first started your twitch, did you keep using the Alice persona or did you use your normal voice?

>>13820629
In Paradise Lost, you had a line from Satan, along the lines of "'Tis better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven."
That's what she's doing here. She's adapted to the unpleasant pathology of the boards she frequents, and cloaks the fact that she feeds off of that energy under a mask, both literal and figurative- helpful, cheery, anime persona.
If ever truly a succubus did exist, i expect its shape would be far closer to this woman than to any envisaged demoness.

>>13820657
I d-don't know what you mean. I'm m-me, nothing else <4

>>13820660
I'd r-rather help in hell then rest in heaven, b-but to each their own <4

>>13820662
Oh. I mean has it always been the girl who's streaming on the channel now? Or were (you) on the stream when it first started?

>>13820649
KYS ATTENTION WHORING MAN HANDS.
INDEX FINGERNAIL 0/10 ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. GET HTE FUCK BACK TO REDD1T YOU DICK HAVING WHORE FAGGOT

>>13820660
Great analysis. I need to kill her.

>>13820666
I'm t-the girl on the stream, dear.

>>13820669
I d-don't even know what you are talking about at this point.

>>13820670
Why?

>>13820675
Sorry, but the girl on the stream ain't as cute as you

>>13820679
T-that's me, so by definition, you are wrong <4

>>13820675
I want to eat you out.

>>13820683
T-too bad <4

>>13820683
based board-relevant post

>>13820675
Have you ever met someone from 4chan irl before?
How'd it go if you did

God I wish that were me

>>13820692
T-that's from literally a year ago.

>>13820688
They held a gun to my head <4

>>13820685
I don't need your consent.

>>13820697
You absolutely d-do, and won't get it <4

>>13820696
>They held a gun to my head
Go on...

>>13820696
do you have a bf

>>13820703
I d-don't think it matters either way, as I'm n-not dating anyone from 4chan <4


Anyway, g-good night <4 S-see you all in the morning~

>>13820696
how much do you charge for dick flattening. let's skip the negotiating bullshit where you say 'i-i don't do that' and tell me the real price

>>13820713
S-sorry, but you'd never be able to afford it <4

>>13820710
>I'm n-not dating anyone from 4chan
Never say never

>>13820717
I d-didn't <4

>>13820662
>I'd r-rather help in hell then rest in heaven
So you're one of those people who enjoys the delusion that they can fix someone broken, but on a platform where you can do it all with the anonymous and faceless. You never have to put any deep effort into correcting, even in a superficial and temporary way.
I think that you're dangerous. I doubt anyone who's followed your streams or threads is truly better for it, unless a dependence on you classifies as improvement.

go away bitch. your schtick is annoying and played out

You did a good job covering your face, but are you aware that pork is haram? Please use lamb instead next time

>>13820405
>woman

>>13820723
I h-have no delusions <4 I've done so before.
You are simply wrong, b-but you are entitled to your opinion <4

I think you are ill informed and believe you can see inside my head, b-but lack the self awareness to realize your own flaws <4

>>13820727
No thank you~

>>13820729
Also n-no thank you.

>>13820710
Reaffirming: good night /ck/ <4 Have a great sleep!

*vanishes*

>>13820731
Can I have your ass?

Are you on Leolist?

>>13820731
>I think you are ill informed and believe you can see inside my head, b-but lack the self awareness to realize your own flaws <4
lol shit

>>13820723
projecting af not everyone is as sad as you bro

Best /ck/ thread in weeks. Thanks, OP. I will make this for dinner tomorrow if the grocery stores don't close.

>>13820771
We're not going to close and pork loin and tenderloin was one of the things mine had plenty of on Sunday. I actually enjoy going to work and seeing what protein I'm going to be using for my next meal(s). It's kind of like Chopped. I've been making mostly steaks since they're throwing preapproved unlimited OT at us and I don't have bars to waste my money. This thread reminded me of the awesomeness of pork tenderloin.

>>13820350
Do you recommend that the pork tenderloin look like a horse penis for the best flavor?

>>13820342
I think I’m in love bros

Thanks going to try this recipe soon!

>>13820394
it's some dude that has been trying to get a following for years
legitimate autism

Ok nice recipe but what does it look like a turd?

>>13820839
n__f__

What's with all these words in the videos? And what happened to the noir theme you used last time?

>>13820342
NOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST PUT EFFORT INTO YOUR THREAD YOU HAVE TO SHITPOST CONSTANTLY
(Why yes I do think you shouldn't crossboard with Reddit, how could you tell?)

I thought avatarfagging was against the rules

>Anime roleplaying trannyfaggots

>>13820487
Oh shit it’s the Cooking Alone chick! Have you finally embraced your destiny as the queen of /ck/?

>>13820611
Submitted to the fiction department

>>13820526
>I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
>Milk not heavy whipping cream
Let me guess, your single.

OP, I wanna say thank you for the effort you put into your threads. PEACE.

>I don't want attention teehee
>shrouds her shitty recipe with an obnoxious personality and writing style

fuck off, tranny

>>13820991
Only after you've passed your exams from the Pasta Division, rook.

>>13820436
Stop speaking like a retard

>>13821281
My stutter is worse than that and I'm not a retard. I'm just bad at talking.

>>13821286
You are retarded, your speech impediment doesn't need to be represented while you type

What the fuck is "<4"?

>>13820346
not going to lie but that looks like poop.

>>13820985
Id love to meet a chick that can cook.

>>13821309
Most women are just as competent at cooking as most men.

>>13821316
Yeh most likely true, but I’m not ghey

>>13821332
Gay men are more competent at cooking than most men.

>>13821334
You raise a valid point. I’m just not sure how far I am willing to go for a home cooked meal. Aids seems pretty expensive. Iunno.

>>13821343
>Thinking modern women aren't filled with HIV and herpes
Take the gay pill anon

simp general