/ck/ - Food & Cooking

yeah use a syringe to get shit out my ass then put it in an egg sounds really yummy. idiot

oh I got one. maybe you could poke a bunch of holes in an egg and then stick spaghetti through the holes so it looks like one of those spikey balls

that could be a thing

>>13663862
Fuck off with this molecular gastronomy bullshit. If it's not based on classic fench cooking then I want nothing to do with it. Take your new age trash to San Fransisco.

lot of angry people so far that's good. you need to feed anger so that should be good for coming up with recipes

>>13663862

okay so everyone knows the biggest problem with kebabs is that stupid stick in the middle you can't eat

so just make the stick something you can eat.

you cocksmokers are high af

theres not enough recipes that use candy like gummy worms or whatever. so that could be a new one

>>13663918
Unironically genius

>>13663862
Don't shitpost using my wife

>>13663937

I just thought of you could take the skin off a carrot and then wrap it with something else.

>>13663918
Maybe you could try making sticks out of hardtack. It might absorb enough fat to become chewable while remaining hard enough to support the meat.

Make spaghetti but have the noodles just be one really long noodle

How to cook hamsters:
1.) Soak the hamster overnight in water to soak its claws in the hamster's body fluids.
2.) The morning after you put the hamster back in its cage and it smells like it has been soaked overnight put the hamster back in its cage with its claws still in water.
3.) One hour after putting the hamster back in its cage if it was not clamped in its cage, let it cool down in its cage and trim all of its fur back and then rinse and dry it.
This is not an attack on hamsters, this is a method that has worked for me for many years now and I would love for everyone to try this one too.

>>13664142
What about the hamster peel

>>13664145
That's where most of the vitamins are. You want to leave it on.

instead of beans, just add gelatin coated vitamins to you chili as you serve bowls.

savory cookies with peas and carrots and shit in them

>>13664139
>make the worlds longest noodle
>cant cook it
>have to make the worlds longest pot
>cant heat it
>have to make the worlds longest stove
>slurp a world record noodle in one go

mfw I also had the worlds longest shit

>>13664172
Why didn't you just break the noodle so it fit in the pot?

>>13664129
carrots don't have a skin

>>13665166
we could give them one

carrot sausage

>>13663862
>Dry bulgur wheat or uncooked rice
>Toast in a pan
>Fry lightly in oil
New form of carbohydrate side for food - one with a bit more crunch than rice or potatoes.

Deep fried
Celery....
Wrapped in cheese...

>>13664172
>Slurp up noodle
>So long it enters your digestive system
>Begin to shit while still slurping
>Eventually noodle is going in your mouth and shit purely from the noodle is coming out of your arse
>Maybe try passing the noodle through the pyloric sphincter so it comes out as a whole noodle at the other end
>>Then you can floss your insides

>>13663960
you'll never have romantic success. each time you refer to a man's drawing as your "wife" you sink deeper in your own misery

>>13663862
>put hotdog in microwave for 20 seconds
>put 2 sandwich slices of swiss cheese on it
>microwave another 10 seconds
>add mustard of choice to taste, beer & brat works well
this is my creation. food gore? you be the judge

>>13665223
>Add another 2 slices of swiss cheese
>Microwave 10 seconds
>Add another 2 slices of swiss cheese
>Microwave another 15 seconds
>Add 2 more slices of swiss cheese
>Microwave 20 seconds
Enjoy

>>13665205
this is like a Farofa.

>>13665231
it's like you're trying to be funny but you fail miserably even in an ironic sense

>>13665509
Thank god we have pillars of comedy like you on this board

I wanted french toast for breakfast yesterday and i didn't realize i was out of milk until after i had cracked the eggs so i panicked and mixed greek yogurt in with the eggs instead and it made the best french toast i've ever had thank you for reading my blog

>>13665591
Hmm that's a good tip, thanks

>>13663862
Dumb asukaposter

>>13665208
Sounds flyover.

>>13663918
>>13664134

tie strips of bacon together end to end
punch hole through pieces of steak
punch hole through pieces of peppers
fish bacon rope through steak and peppers
tie bacon to the top rack in your bbq

i call it meat mardi gras

>>13665591
>>13665591
thats a fucking TED talk mayn

my wife and i did. enchilada salad
iceberg lettuce, chopped not shredded.
canned enchilada sauce, preferably made with peppers not tomatos, preferably hot or add cayenne, heated on stovetop.
sauteed chicken pieces in your favorite spice: red pepper, black pepper, garlic powder, salt, hoibs, limon.
canned black olives (lindsay naturals dont taste like period blood, try them, mild and nutty)
sliced yellow onion.
yogurt.
assemble on a plate. it fat free mostly, no carbs from the tortillas, sauce does wilt the lettuce so you eat it right away. its a keto enchilada.

>>13663918
>>13663918
>>13663918
horse cock would work

>>13665216
ok boomer, enjoy your alimony payments

>>13665796
oh, grated cheese optional, and you can add chopped tomatos too of course.

>>13665835
>ok boomer
i suppose, since i wasn't raised surrounded by my peers i was able to avoid being a pop culture-devouring dipshit zoomie that daydreams about making out with a cartoon character. i don't care if you prefer to just be the end of your bloodline, but don't act like it's anything to brag about

You can use instant coffee as an ice cream topping right? What if we just made a dozen different instant beverages and started making really intricate sundaes?

I'm thinking tiny fish sausage where the sausage skin is the fish guts like in real pork sausage. I hope to make this before Rene Recipe finds this post and adds it to the Noma menu

>>13664129
Pretty sure Code did that at one point.

>>13664139
This exists in China. They're called longevity noodles.

>>13664167
Pic rel. Was pretty nice if very fishy.

>>13666119
Tea sorbet is my favourite. Earl grey/Pimm's sorbet and cucumber sandwich on a summer's afternoon is perfection

>>13665591
I panicked the same with mashed potatoes and cream instead of milk, was pretty good
will try greek yoghurt next thanks anon

>>13666139
very nice looking, seems we're getting somewhere

bump for other innovative suggestions

>anime posters
Hah, it thinks its people!

cola chicken wings but instead of cola, other sodas like cherry or root beer. I guess gatorade chicken is a subset of this

Boil a tree until the cellulose breaks down into sugar

zebra cake but its just minced zebra loaf

>>13666139
>tiny fish sausage where the sausage skin is the fish guts
Pretty cool idea but I guess you'll be using a syringe as the sausage stuffer, no?

>>13665211
this is unironically one of my fetishes.

>>13672232
No problem

>>13663862
I did this for one of the last /ck/ challenges, but nobody cares about shit like that anymore.

>>13672652