/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>13524105
it's almost like she has a section she works or something

>empty booths everywhere
>"Here, you can sit on the round table in the middle of the room for all the booth sitters to gawk at lol"
Yeah okay thanks bitch, here's a scripture from the bible as a tip in advance.

AWW HELL NAH BITCH WHAT WRONG WIT DEENS TABLE RITE HEAH! DIS MY TABE NOW YA FEEL ME.

>>13524108
hostess, and even if a server is pulling host duty I don’t give a damn. work a section that has regular people tables, I’m there to dine not down pitchers with my buddies

>>13524120
>Leaving scripture.

Apocalyptic

>>13524105
vet fag here, sit booth back corner if possible near exit... brain is fucked.

>>13524579
From putting so many cats and dogs down?

>>13524105
>restaurant half empty
>get seated closest to kitchen

>several seats are left in front of the cliff divers
>they end up putting you in that weird mining-themed room with the gas lamps everywhere
>the gorilla doesn’t even run through once during your dinner
Aaaaaaaaa

>>13524579
Shut the fuck up, you big gay crybaby. You haven't been through anything worse than anyone else.

>muh PTSD

>>13524621
How many kittos and doggos have you had to put down?

>>13524616
Don’t worry anon, sitting there makes it easier to take home a sopapilla flag as a souvenir :1)))))

>>13524621
lol. will you open this can of Pillsbury biscuits for me, anon?
<anticipation/pop!>
best therapy for PTSD

>>13524627
6 beagles and 1 pitbull
I'm not paying some faggot like you to kill my dog. A 0.18¢ bullet is more than enough.

>>13525082
Dude Eagles are endangered and Pitbulls are niggers.

>>13524126
Well someone has to work it

>>13525088
He said BBBBBEAGLE not eagle, retard. It's a breed of dog, and pitbulls aren't n*****s, bad ones just have shitty owners. My pitbull would love you to death with licks/kisses before he would ever bite. I'm able to leave my 2 year old alone with my pitbull with no problems, they were known as the NANNY dog for a reason.

>>13525212
Yeah they savzd so much on nannycosts since the kid is dead

>>13525362
gotem

>>13525212
Yeah licks and kisses until it exposed my throat then it's gushy gushy light heady die time. Fuck you. Bulldogs > Shitbulls

>>13524120
>not manspreading at the big round table in the middle of the room like a BOSS

not alpha enough

>>13525212
>censoring niggers

>>13525212
>google this nanny dog bullshit
>second result links to some shitbull advocate page on facebook
>even they're calling the nanny dog retardation out

>>13524105
>mommy mommy i want to sit in the BOOTH
>whaaaa not a chair, I hate chairs!
your virginity is palpable

>>13525212
Pretty good bait it hits all the notes

I was gonna tell OP hes a whiny crybaby and a halfway liar for acting like he was with friends instead of his mom and dad who support him, but then I saw the other argument and shut up Mr IGY6. Literally every vet does that, youre not special bc you retained bootcamp knowledge.
>now scream aye sirrrrrrrr
Shut the fuck up boot. Probably not even a vet anyway. Also moderately funny joke by the other guy
>this concludes my post

>>13525212
>bad ones just have shitty owners
Okay, but the only people who own pitbulls are burnouts and single mothers
who don't know how to care for a dog

>>13525539
I prefer chairs to booths, I just want a chair that allows me to plant my feet on the ground.

>follow the hostess through a nearly empty restaurant
>Get seated directly next to the only other occupied table in the whole goddamn building
reeee

>Please Seat Yourself
>go into manager’s office and sit down at desk
>phone the kitchen and tell them to bring me a plate of whatever’s about to hit the sell by date
>start auditing books
>place some product orders
>chef Miguel, who has average to favorable performance reviews and no I-9 paperwork brings me a plate of chicken wings and is visibly confused
>I thank him in his native spanish and give him the rest of the day off, paid
>he comes back with the manager, who does not look pleased
>I thank him for his service and try to tip him 20%
>he tries to call the police but I pull out a glock and fire a few rounds into the ceiling
>I’m the captain now
>this restaurant is horribly mismanaged and the menu is stale
>I hold the staff at gunpoint and order them to come up with a fresh, honest, rustic and modern menu that can fit on a single page and ask Miguel to come up with 2 specials of his choice for dinner service
>SWAT surrounds the building
>I come out to the roof, using the manager as a human shield
>FBI negotiator on bullhorn asks me what my demands are
>I demand a competent manager who gives a fuck
>I push him forward and put a bullet in his head
>sharpshooter takes me down, the kill isn’t instant but it’s a matter of minutes before I bleed out
>swat team surrounds me as my eyesight fades to black
>commander comes to my side and asks why I did it
>I cough up some blood and muster a smile
>captain... come closer
>yes...?
>...the game.

>>13527080
this was a good one

>>13524105
>Hey, could we have a booth please?
Sorry youre autistic but these dumb scenarios usually have an easy solution

>>13525379
based stephen fry

>>13524105
>wanting to sit in a booth
why? i always get pissed when they seat me in a booth

>>13527653
(You)

>>13527080
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Fuck you!

>>13527080
Oh, I thought this was 4chan but somehow it is 1995 Usenet.

>>13524105

booths are reserved for parties of 3 or more

>>13524105
Just ask if you can sit at the table you want to sit at you fucking autistic retard.

>>13527080

>>13527653
More room, seats are generally more cushioned.

>>13524120
Based!

>>13528088
This is fucking great.

>>13528088
no doubt this was made by a butthurt fedorian

>>13525375
Right?

>>13525379
it's a 3 day ban now if you use the n word and the jannies don't like you

>>13528088
this is illegal actually
reprinting money like that is against the law

>>13527080
ahhhh good one, man. fucking got me.

>>13528804
No it's not, dumdum. It's clearly not made to be passed off as actual currency.

>>13528088
I worked in restaurants in college and maybe 4-5 times this happened to me. It wasn't always disguised as money but it was definitely the same dick move. Imagine the kinds of people who order a bunch of those or get them from their church to pass out in lieu of tipping someone. Fuck people like that. inb4 hurrr why should you deserve a tip durr

>>13528939
They made the right choice. You're a cunt.

>>13528939
It's only okay if I can drop it in the church plate on a Sunday.

>>13527080
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>13528952
Who's going to stop you?

>>13526957
nice damage control

>>13528951
no u

>>13528952
holy shit i wish someone would do this and i would somehow hear about it

>>13527080
ah fuck... gg

>>13527080
nice

>>13528931
wrongarino
that doesn't matter

>>13529007
You're technically right in regard to that specific comment, but you're also wrong in regard to the piece of paper in question because it's only half of one side of a note and has a big white border so can't possibly be mistaken for real currency for longer than half a second.

>>13529016
there are specific laws about reprinting money and despite it obviously not being real money or even intending to be real money, it would still break those laws

>go to restaurant with gf
>Bar has decent crowd but dining room is literally empty
Get seated at tiny two top up against wall so I can't even use my entire right arm
>Also next to bathroom
>Ask hostess/waitress/cum guzzling gutter whore if we can please sit at any of the vacant tables not against the wall
>"Those tables are for four people"
>State that I understand but the restaurant is literally empty and I'm physically uncomfortable at this table
>Walking breathing hole for dicks says no
>Order two beers
>Take a couple sips
>Get up and leave

Place is closed now

I hope she's dead

>>13529034
Based. I hate restaurants and bars with uncomfortable seating. Leaving with a back cramp is never fun. Fuck I'm getting old.

>>13529025
The law specifically refers to the full image printed at the same size and that does not break it.

>>13527080
great one, friend

>>13524579
I always face the entrance and I'm not a vet. I think it's just normal to feel vulnerable in public

>>13528939
It's always the church fucks that come in after church on Sunday.

They demand everything from you.

Send food back for no reason.

EVERY FUCKING ITEM HAS TO HAVE SUBSTITUTIONS.

ALL 30 of these mouth breathers want separate checks.

They sit at your table (well multiple from your section put together) for HOURS.

Then they give you this bullshit as a "tip."

Why can't they just go to some buffet instead of slaving me and everyone else at the restaurant for nothing?

>>13525383
>>13525383
I went and looked up that video out of curiousity. That mutt kid is lucky that dog didn't tear his fucking head off. The kid bounces up and down on that distressed dog for a few straight minutes while the parents egg him on

>>13525383
>the shitbull dinin' do nufing wrong
Parents need to be parents again instead of giving their two year olds a tablet to watch netflix.

Growing up we were always taught not to fuck with dogs, especially when their eating or just trying to chill out.

"Never wake a sleeping dog."

Apparently that's too much to ask of millenials and their fur baby fetish.

>>13530792
>um, EXCUSE ME, but me and my party of eight have been waiting for a table for 20 minutes now, I’d like to speak to a manager.

>>13525212
i was just barely able to tell this is bait, i like how you censored niggers

>>13524105
>>hostess leads your party past several empty tables/booths and attempts to seat you at a high-top
I am older, experience back fatigue and have Achilles tendinitis, which I nurse at the end of the day. I want to rest my body while I enjoy dining at the end of the day, not wind my foot on a lack of space for my feet, at a low quality stool and high top table (they always are). High top tables are great near a bar where you expect beyond the number of people at your table, a lot of standing around and mingling, and just need a place for your glasses to be set down.

>>13524595
>>>13524105 (OP)
>>restaurant half empty
>>get seated closest to kitchen
This one really gets me. I like to talk and I don't want noise near me. If it's not an open kitchen with eye candy entertainment? Then, I don't want to be near any high traffic entrance or noise.
>>13525212
>My pitbull would love you to death with licks/kisses before he would ever bite. I'm able to leave my 2 year old alone with my pitbull with no problems, they were known as the NANNY dog for a reason.
You're just an idiot who doesn't understand instinctual dog behaviors, or can calculate odds. Bad things only happen to other people *rolls eyes*. It's a breed capable of effectively maiming and killing someone. When and if your house is broken into, and someone lets your scared or injured dogs out to the yard, they'll roam the neighborhood and lunge the face and throat any human or dog that crosses their path. When your dog jumps up on the garbage and cuts their paw on a can edge, or breaks that glass vase and scares themselves, bam, instinctual mode ON. You and no one else knows the odds of any of that. You'd feel utter despair when your sweet licking animal kills your own child when it freaks out from some random injury or event. Don't own one. You live in a society where you aren't the center of your solitary universe. Other people live in your city too.

>>13531051
back when i pushed carts at a home improvement store, this big softie kid i worked with would automatically pet the shit out of service dogs. the owner was clearly irritated that this big faggot was rubbing its belly acting like it was his own fucking puppy he was playing with at home. i hope he gets bit in the face someday fucking with people's service dogs naïvely

>>13531051
How dare these zoomlineals kids these day put sugar syrup on their pancakes these days! Back in my day the only thing we put on pancakes was Uncle Jemimasworth Old-Fashioned, High Fructose, Butter-Flavored "Maple" Syrup! And we didn't have pancakes neither! All we had was wheat bricks, hard-boiled! You had to fish them out of the boiling water yourself with your own feet! And you were guaranteed to break a tooth if you ate one. And when we broke a tooth we'd get a whipping! And not some kind of pansy-ass soi whipping either! We got Ole Ass-Ripper, nine feet of cowhide stiff as a board with nails hammered in it ever 2 inches and on fire, 1000 lashes minimum. Then after breakfast it was straight to the coal mines for our 19 hour shift. We didn't have no picks or carts, we had to lug 34 tons of rock up a vertical shaft if we wanted to get paid, and we only got paid $3 in scrip every day, and the mine charged us $5 a day just for the privilege of mining. And then it was 30 miles to school each day; we didn't have none of this sissy liberal education plans, the teachin' lady read from a book and at the end of the day if you couldn't recite everything back to her, backwards, in French you got a beatin'. We didn't have no paddles, just a 4x4 we called Honest Frank. And then you'd get a beatin' for speaking some fru-fru sissy language instead of God-fearin', ugly-wife fuckin', real man cocksucking American! After that we'd get thrown out of the house and have to hit them bricks for a job. Just had to show up to the construction site, look the foreman in the eye and give him a firm handshake. That's how I made enough money in four days to buy this house, which I built with my own two hands from scratch on land inherited from my grandpappy!

>>13530571
>I always face the entrance and I'm not a vet. I think it's just normal to feel vulnerable in public
Not sure about the feeling vulnerable thing, but it's great sense to watch the door of a business for trouble to walk in, or the expanse of a room, in general. If reaction time saves your butt, then go ahead and watch that everything is normal. Growing up my Dad (not even a cop), always took the seat that did not put his back to the door). In a 7-11? Look up to see who comes in when the bells ring. On a metro train? Watch the doors at stations. It's just smart.

>>13531061
>20 minute wait for like two tables
If the restaurant was that busy, the host should have mentioned it.

>>13527080
I take my hat off to you, sir.
Well played.

>>13531084
Cringe but redpilled

>>13531094
You must not know how entitled these Sunday after church folks are. They're the worst!

>>13531102
Get a real job outside of the restaurant industry,
>inb4 blah blah nonsense
The customer is always right.

>>13529034
>I hope she's dead

Kek

>>13527080
finally some entertainment

>>13531090
I try to teach the same things to my family. You should always be aware of your surroundings.

>>13524105
Well sir, why didn't you just ask for another table?

>>13529034
shes's dead, anon. I made sure of it.

You guys dont just specifically ask for a booth if you want one? Just wait if none are empty.

>>13528547
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniggggggggggggggersssssss

>>13531963
yeah literally just go "actually, could we get the booth?"
99% of the time, they'll say yes
add a buck to their tip, if you feel like it was an awkward thing to ask or something, but honestly, it should be fine

>>13525082
I'd buy 10 cases of 5.56 if they were $0.18 a bullet. I think you've been out of the market since 2002.

>>13532091
>5.56
Jesus Anon, I'm not hunting the damn thing from 100yrds away. I'm just putting it down. 9mm HP to the base of the skull while it's sleeping or drinking water.

>>13527080
good job, faggot

>>13528547

>>13524120
>implying that ever happens.

>>13528939
Stop living in a shithole where it’s required for the customer to provide your salary

>>13524105
>not just picking your own table like a chad

the consooomer is always right

>>13530792
Separate checks is a basic courtesy
Stop being a lazy faggot

>>13533477
So is a tip. I take it you've never waited tables for the after church crowd on a Sunday before.

>>13533526
Nope, I applied myself and got a big boy job.
It's also not my business what compensation agreement you reach with your employer.

>>13533526
I've waited for a large Baptist and slightly smaller but still substantial Lutheran group before. Both groups were very considerate and tipped well. The Lutherans even stacked their plates to make my job easier. Have you considered not working around dumpster-tier churches?

>>13524105
Why is Matt Damon trying so hard for that West Hollywood look

>>13528170
I promise you those bills are 100% unironic and real. I grew up with 7th Day Adventists and they have absolutely no awareness and would probably have killed themselves if the minister told them it was for the church.

>>13525722
who are you talking to? fucking stupid pog what are you food service or motor t

>>13525212
No owner of a pitbull has ever been afraid to say "nigger", cheap bait

>>13527080
fucking fantastic

>>13528170
oh you sheltered child

>>13525212
>n*****s
we're all adults here, you dont need to block it out for the kiddies.

>>13533861
nutters

>>13524579
Husband is like this. If for some reason a table like that isn't readily available I still make sure he gets the seat facing the door.

>>13533560
something tells me the church groups he's dealing with are yuppie "churches" or black people

>>13531034
I have a declawed rescue cat that batted/ "punched/slapped" the shit out of a pitbull that was being walked by my doorstep. Her defensiveness made me proud, but I would have understood if the dog had ripped her to pieces. Many breeds can't help themselves when fucked with or in the presence of small animals/kids. Pitbulls have an extra scary element of snapping for no reason even if they're well raised and no one is fucking with them plus being able to clamp down with the "jaws of life" even if you tase and stab them to death. Lots of dogs are highly dangerous but those things make pitbulls even more dangerous by far.

>>13527080
So can someone explain?

>>13525212
>pitbulls aren't n*****s, bad ones just have shitty owners

>>13533929
Viral mindcurse.

>>13526957
> I prefer chairs to booths, I just want a chair that allows me to plant my feet on the ground.

Exactly. I’m going to be stuck watching football at home tomorrow because a dumbass friend of a friend convinced the other guys to go to a shitty bar that only has high rise bar stools that are literally a pain in the back after a few hours.

Not to mention the fucking beer is $7.50 for a pint (of Bell’s Two Hearted)! For $0.50 more I could buy an entire fucking six-pack, I ain’t paying those kinda prices for beer unless there’s a titty dancer grinding on my lap.

>>13531084
This except genuinely instead of sarcastically.
Honest Frank made me what I am today.

>>13531090
> In a 7-11? Look up to see who comes in when the bells ring.

Walked into my local smoke shop to get some death sticks and didn’t see either of the guy who work there, so I stayed there in the doorway until one of them walked out from the back room.

He asked me why I was standing there and I told him I didn’t want to walk into the middle of a hold-up. If I don't see the proprietor behind the counter, I ain't going in.

>>13527080

>>13533560
>The Lutherans even stacked their plates to make my job easier.
Lutheran and can confirm my parents had us stack plates at restaurants, but that might just be the german autism.

>>13524105
>Can we get a booth please

>>13535101
"No."

>>13535254
Never seen anyone told no when asking for a booth. you must eat at some shit places

>>13527653
fatass detected

>>13524105
just get up and go sit at a booth

>>13524105
>not wanting to sit at the high top
under-21 detected

>>13533560
>Have you considered not working around dumpster-tier churches?
This. Remember a couple years back when that Alois Whatever nigger that ran a strip mall church in some southern shithole a note that said something about how she gives God 10 percent why should the waitress get 20?
>pepperidge farms remembers

>>13533897
>black people
This. Black people are the worst customers, regardless of its a restaurant, retail store, auto repair, anything. They always act as if everyone is trying to rip them off and tipping is a completely foreign concept to them. I don't even think black waitstaff tips their serves when THEY go out to dinner.

>>13524105
My party requests a darkened corner in which to brood. The dwarf would like some ale.

>>13524579
tony soprano taught me that too

>>13528939
I had such a boring mindless service job that the occasional bit of weirdness from a customer was a welcome distraction.

>>13524105
The servers and bussers working those tables left, retard

>>13524105
>>13524120
>>13524126
>>13526980
>>13528951
>>13533477
>>13533559
reminder that all entitled wh*toids will get the bullet

>>13535348
I'm gay, btw. Not sure if that matters.