/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>13446606

>>13446606
>he doesn't use mercury ice in his whiskey

>>13446631
>he chills his whiskey

>>13446622
>not using silica to thicken soups and add some body
People don't know what they're missing.

A little elemental mercury won't kill you OP
It doesn't taste great though, I'll tell you that

>>13446622
it says do not eat because of choking not toxicity
it’s fine to eat, it’s like salt

Forbidden jellies.

>>13446665
it's not as satisfying to eat in anything less than one bite though

loli pee

>>13446694
baste

Extremely toothsome

>>13446622

Forbidden cheese balls

Real shit

these 100% have bite marks if you find them secondhand

>>13446743
once for Halloween somebody gave me a little glow stick that was for keeping in your mouth (yeah, I know). I couldn't stop chewing on it and eventually it popped, legit one of the worst flavors I've ever tasted. it was like a mix between earwax and orange peel

softserve ice cream

the most forbidden morsels of all
>those slightly bendy hard rubber ones
mmm fuck

>>13446622
Who are you quoting?

>Not eating a little bit of dough before putting it in the oven

yay or neigh?

>>13446606

2020, I am forgotten.

>>13446775
undercooked

>>13446933
i prefer my horse cum straight from the tap tyvm

You didn't have a childhood if you don't know what the jelly inside of stretch armstrong tastes like

>>13446743
same with the oldschool long antennas

>>13446995
it was just corn syrup. back in elementary school we were all scared we'd die if we ate it.

>>13446995
This was a ploy to get us to consume corn syrup soaked in 8,000x the safe limit of BPA plastic.

Like even the tiniest bit would destroy hormone balance forever.

That's my theory.

>>13446933
lol, cumshot

>>13446606
t. Qin Shi Huang

>>13446718
>not posting the real forbidden cheese balls

forbidden metal cheese

>>13446831
I feel like Spaghetti now.

>>13446622
It is weird that it says "DO NOT EAT" in quotations.

>>13446933
$25???

>>13448195
It's jizz, not fucking milk man. You have to masturbate a horse for every load to get that one ounce shot. Even if they jizz 24 ounces, a man had to jack off a horse and then you have to take into account the refractory period.

>>13448199
If I'm paying $25 for a glass of horse sperm, it better have passed through the long, floppy dick of a Kentucky Derby champion

>>13448226
I agree as well, the horse sure as fuck better be sexy. I'm not drinking some fat pack horses cum over a thoroughbred or at least a horse who has proven his worth at something like bucking men or barrel racing or jumping.

>>13448260
Wow, twitter screenshot
Thanks dude, hilarious!

>>13448260
ok this is pretty clever

The feeling of your front teeth clicking through some medium-firm Gak

>>13446802
Great description. I’ve also tasted that quantum sludge.

The forbidden cheese, why does it have to look so tasty?

>>13448463
>sugar of lead
ah, lead acetate. The roman's favourite.

>>13446797
nigga what THE FUCK is that

>>13448226
>>13448235
I worked in animal husbandry for a while. One vial of frozen champion-tier purebreds sperm. can cost upwards of 5K USD. One. CryoVial.
Major players can pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to fly a stud to fucking Saudi Arabia to fuck their mares.

>>13448589
they're rocks

The tastiest of them all. Pretty good if you want to have some fun before your painfull death.

>>13447950

>>13448609
Phew, Christ they look unsettling

>>13448609
Jesus Christ Marie! They're minerals!

>>13446752
Man, artisan soap shops in markets are the absolute worst.
>Candy Shop starts playing in the background

>>13448665
Don't spend all your paycheck on rocks, Hank.

>>13448260
I think you'd be good, that looks like an anti-vehicle mine.

>>13446606

THAT'S MERCURY YOU DUMB FUCK

>>13448693
ya think?

Used to chew the fuck out of plastic grapes at my aunt's house as a kid, they're like a much more bouncy gum

>>13448260

>>13446823
it's safe so long as you only eat one

Forbidden cake mix

>>13448620
luckily, we have an antidote for nightshade poisoning in physostigmine, provided you get actual medical care within an hour or two of ingestion (and not have a pre-existing heart condition)

>>13449340
what are the symptoms like? presumably if i'm retarded enough to eat one of these things, i'm too retarded to seek medical help within an hour unless i start vomiting and experiencing intense pain

>>13449340
I think you will not be able to call an ambulance when tripping balls on nightshade (Belladona). People here literally eating the roots and berries to have trips and if they survive, they say it’s horror shit you will never want to experience again.

forbbiden candy

>>13449383
Dry mouth (the first and most noticeable symptom), headache, you will feel confused, then you will feel the need to talk a lot and move. Then you will have problem with memory and very convincing visual halucinations. The end stage is either falling asleep/in a coma and stopping breathing or having a heart failure.

>>13448589
Rocks

>>13449411
>>13449383
I forgot to add there’s pretty nice quote which describes the poisoning very well.
“Wild as a hare, blind as a mole, red as a beetroot and mad like a dog.”

>>13449411
yeah i think i'm a goner in that case
>>13449422
heh

>>13446831
i need a good grease release

>>13446606
soy sauce?

>>13446606
this entire thread
>

>>13449423
Most of the people are. Unless you ate just a tiny amount (which will never happen since people just see the berries and eat them like blueberries or whatever), you are doomed. But it’s ptetty based death.

>>13446606
pornhub.com/jennatrap

>>13449468
I see you are a man of culture as well.

>>13449469
I don't want to have the gay but that ass is what Adam and Eve must have tasted

>>13448260
>>13448797
you now know that claymore mines have "do not eat" stamped on them

that means at least one time a marine tried to eat the fucking shaped charge and got sick

>>13449147
wouldn't even be that harmful

>>13449647
literally OP

>>13448589
Dwarf ham.

Real niggas had all of these in pre-school.

The forbidden honey

>>13449661
just the tip,they tasted good

Pro-tip: the purple one tasted better than the white one. Children-grade glue.

>>13448620
The berries are the least poisonous part of the plant and have a long history of being used as an entheogen. It's perfectly safe for a healthy adult to eat one or two of them.

>>13449699
based coinposter

forbidden push pops
>you can't know if the yellow is lemon flavor unless you find out for yourself

>>13446711
my fucking sides

just a little powdered sugar friend

>>13446730
Fucking christ that takes me back

>>13448797
I once brought some cheese in a carry-on on a flight out of wisconsin, and the person running the x-ray stopped me because according to her it looks like c-4 on the x-ray

>>13446711
top kek

>>13446730
Fuck that golem and fuck that ice level.

>>13449647
Damn you've got a megapussi
Damn you've got a megapussi

>>13450456
When I was in middleschool, a friend dared me.

Let us just say that I would only do it again with fresh stones.

>>13450469
Forest Bacon

Imagine milking a jellyfish of it's jelly and spreading it on a slice of toast.

>>13450574
SPONGEBOBBU

>>13450489
Long banana

>>13450574

>>13449827
Lots of different white powders. Which one is that?

>>13447024
pretty sure I perforated my ear drum with one of those

>>13449626
The issue wasnt them eating it. Theyd use a small amount to heat meals inajungle and it would release toxic fumes.

>>13446933
lol, neigh i guess

>>13451523
imagine the gains

>>13451551
>Theyd use a small amount
how do you use a small amount of claymore mines? can you disassemble it easily and ship off some explosive?

>>13451731
Bro, I put a gram of uranium in my oats every morning. I have biceps 80 miles in circumference and I don't even life. Well one is 80 miles, the other is now a swarm of tentacles.

>>13451801
fuarkkk

>>13451523
Just eat a gram of uranium, and you won't need to eat anything for the rest of your life! (-w-)

One time when i ws a kid i swallowed a marble and never told anyone about it.

>>13451942
Man my dick is hard just thinking about what that'll feel like coming out the other end

>>13451773
Theyd open it, scoop out some c4, and burn it as fuel. It doesnt explode unless you hit it with an electric shock.

>>13447844
my fellow man of culture

>>13451971
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

>>13452127
There's some things you shouldn't have to tell people.

>>13452135
Especially considering the army recruits only the cream of the crop

>>13452167
Just over 100 years ago the bongoloids were the most powerful empire on the earth. Now look at them.

>>13452167
OH GOD IT'S REAL.

Someone please start WW3 and end this fucking earth!

>>13452135
Yes, but well.
Marines...

>>13448676
I want to start a confectionary store where all the candy looks like these soaps.

>>13449454
go back

>>13451523
Imagine, if you could ignore the radiation poisoning, you could be a nuclear-powered human. All you'd need to consume in a day would be a milligram of uranium, a multivitamin and some water. What a world.

>>13452610
winrar

>>13452484
your body can't even break down uranium as food.

>>13452750
it decays on it's own raterd

>>13446933
>yay or neigh
top laff

>>13452760
so? that's not your body processing the calories at all.

>>13446933
For the novelty?

>>13446797
kek had to look twice

>>13452750
maybe your weak body cant

>>13452907
Exactly the body doesn't have to do that step.

>>13452342
tasty drank

>>13453211
Antifreeze is the real man's drink. At least until The Man put bitterants in it to keep the perfect nectar out of the common man's hands.

>>13453221
i knew a guy who could drink denatured ethanol and somehow keep it down
they add literally the most bitter substance known to modern science into denatured ethanol to keep people from drinking it but otherwise its just straight 98% drinking alcohol.
he is dead now though, but probably more due to his massive intake of ethanol all day everyday than any harmful side effect of the bittering agents

>>13449147
more like forbidden turmeric desu

>>13452342
mmm i bet it tastes like fruit punch

>>13449147

>>13453274
As I understand it, the bitterants aren't toxic in themselves, just utterly revolting. But yes, pickling your liver in pure ethanol is gonna punch your card toot sweet.

>>13449147
pray to god you don't drop that shit

>>13452060
I though the shock burn them and boom

>>13451971
Holy shit kek

>>13453167
CURSED

>>13446606

Can't believe everyone's favorite type of wall candy wasn't posted

>>13453345
that housemeat looks spoiled, its best when pink and healthy just before searing

>>13448566
Eating c4 leads to immediate brain damage

>>13453390
how do you know ?

>>13450484
It's a steak, it's just extremely tough

>>13453345
for me it's the cherry flavored wall candy

>>13453429
That vaguely reminds me of a book I read.
Might have been one of Baxter's Xeelee novels. Something about eating space whales I think

>>13452167
>u.s army
wat

>>13452694
y tho?

>>13453339

Basement foundation leaked and these little guys kept popping up through the carpet. Tasted great sauteed in butter, and we kept getting them til we decided to pull up the carpet a month later.

Are cum mushrooms forbidden?

>>13448589
Human flesh.

>>13446665
wait really? when i was a kid i almost ate it once because i thought it was salt but my mom slapped it out of my hand before i put any in my mouth

>>13446797
>ughhh, I'll take ten slices from the bottom left one aaand... just give me halve a pound from the one in the middle

For me, it's Fabuloso.

>>13448693
>he doesn't want to eat the sweetest of the transition metals

>>13452760
>somebody replies on your behalf
>they make you look like a tard
t-thanks

>>13454218
Why the hell did they make the label look so much like juice? If I was tired and that was in the kitchen, I'd poor myself a cup. Has a lawsuit written all over it.

>>13449411
This sounds awesome though

>>13448275
I mixed my green and orange ones together which made a far more disgusting brown slime

>>13454218
>>13454293
THERE'S FRUITS ON IT
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING

>>13454310
Well if you want an hero, this will be probably the most fun way to do it. I heard pretty sick stories from people who are lucky enough to be alive after tripping balls on belladonna.

>>13450484

>>13454182

Children's flesh.

>>13449642
>wouldn't even be that harmful
It is not super radioactive but it is extremely super poisonous.

>>13454375
nice pork belly!

>>13446802
lol this nigga eats his earwax

>>13452443
>telling someone to go back

forbidden cone

>>13454291
I was replying for me not you bub.

>>13447950
going with my dad to sporting good stores, I always thought I was weird wanting to eat all the bait.

>>13454489
I licked mine when I was very young, putrid putrid shit. Makes your whole body recoil because it knows its wrong.

>>13452167
>US_army_ad.jpg

>>13446752
>melts
AMERICAN CHEESE ON SUICIDE WATCH

>>13454293
>Lawsuit.
The people who buy this shit would not step foot in a US courthouse.

>>13451523
I don't think uranium can oxyde to create the flame that heat the water you need to have calories

>>13452694
imagine the smell

>>13453993
is that bacon vegan?

>>13454218
there's no way this didn't kill a hundred of children already.

>>13455374
>implying calories means "energy stored for heating water with fire"
Are your muscles on fire too then, retard? Apart from the homosexual fire in your loins of course, you faggot.

>>13455402
calories is fake science. It is only the amount of heat to heat a certain quantity of water, and the human body doesn't do that, making all calorie based diets to be pure absolute magic mumbo jumbo.

imagine your dick in there then youd get double cream damn

>>13455434
You're talking out of your ass. Calories are a unit of energy, based on the amount of energy it takes to warm up 1 gram of water for 1 degree kelvin/celsius. Civilized people tend to move towards SI, in which Joule is the unit for energy. Joule is a more elegant unit, because it's equal to 1 newton meter, but calorie is still widely used and not at all fake science.

>>13446950
That’s because this thread is about forbidden fruits not forced zoomer memes

>>13449626
>>13451551
>>13451773
>>13452060
>>13453325
These faggots are talking out of their ass and the mine doesn’t even say “do not eat” on it, that original faggot was just making shit up to begin with

All of this is heavily retarded and entirely fabricated and literally nobody has ever tried to use plastic explosives as food or fuel for making food unless they really wanted to fucking die, marines might be stupid but they’re not stupid enough to use plastic explosives over the much more readily available gunpowder

>>13455925
>>13455978
no no my friend YOU are the ass talker

>>13446871
Who the fuck are YOU quoting?

>>13455536
Why did you post an ASUS motherboard?

>>13446797
>Not selling it as "stoned pig meat"

>>13453400
You should c4 yourself.

>>13451523
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=713&v=ROAO1saHEvs&feature=emb_title

>>13448275
I had the Spongebob gak and I got in my hair and on the carpet

>>13457286
Forbidden push pop.

>>13446622
It's actually safe to eat

Your own precum

Strawberry milk for me

>>13457775
So close

>>13452342
mechanic here, have tasted this one
it's awful and you won't get the aftertaste out for a week

>>13453390
Its non toxic, but they added chemicals to make you vomit because people would chew it like gum
t. combat engineer

>>13446606
All fruits are forbidden in Islam.

>>13457929
KEK

>>13457926
So your saying it comes with a challenge?

this is wool

>>13452127
>>13452135
Bodybuilders pay money to kill themselves with dnp so this doesn't even surprise me

>>13455536
What a silly thing to post!

>>13457943

>>13457978
needs more fiberglass

>>13450469
thick cunt bacon

>>13454218
my grandpa used this as shampoo once
he smelled pretty good

>>13446606

>>13458280
Chinese food is forbidden?

>>13454185
Yeah, if it were actually toxic they'd have to label it as such.

>>13446823
It looks like what they harvest Everlasting Gobstoppers from.

>>13447844
heh

>>13458329
The ants care not for your social norms

>>13455536
forbidden warriors

>>13458399
Based cum fiend bugs

>>13456337
I wasn’t the first retard but okay

>>13458571
>>13458399
this becomes exceptionally hot when you realize all those ants are female

>>13446622
Once had one of these in my back pocket on a hot day. Really started to make my ass burn and itch.

Forbidden post content.

>>13446606
Any love for food related porn?

>>13458775
Please don't post Spyro at Subway...

>>13454218
I had to take a good look to see what was wrong with it before I noticed what it really was.

>>13458803
What a novel idea.

>>13458770

He’s a big guy

>>13458803
more frosted flakes?

>>13458835
cut one head off and another one grows.

>>13449411
>>13449422
Small price to pay for the temporary immunity to nerve gas buff though.

>>13453319
>DONT DROP THAT SHIT

>>13454218
We have this at work, the purple kind, I did a double take.

It looks so much like juice, it’s surreal

>>13457926
>people would chew it like gum
jesus christ

>>13458923
>Having a nice day at the beach
>Find a delicious looking apple
>Take a bite
>Die
How is this fair?

Time to get this thread back on track.

panzerschokolade

scho-ka-kola

>>13459020
>See a fruit on the ground.
>It's pretty obvious that no animal touches them, as they rot untouched on the ground.
>"This seems safe to eat."

>>13446606
You actually can drink mercury, just don't inhale it.

>>13458687
No not really because they are ants.
Fix your porn addicted brain.

>>13459085
mmm caramel

>>13452342

>>13459079
this isnt forbidden if you have pica

>>13453202
Ashens ate it all!

>>13446819
heck. I'll be honest, would try it.

>>13458669
Gunpowder tastes way better than plastic explosives.

t. Marine.

>>13449660

>>13446775
I want to grab as many as I can with one hand.

>>13446995
I would not put that weird colorless liquid in my mouth. What! It's made from corn? How vile!

>>13446625
wait wait

wait

wait wait wait

wait wait
wait
wait

wait wait wait
wait

why is the McChicken forbidden, it is delicious

>>13463017
those are edible tho
flavorless cheese curls

>>13463338
Oh my sweet summer child...

>>13452135
>>13452127
>>13449626
the explosive in claymore mines can be used as fuel for heating ration cans, and apparently eating small amounts could make you high. other guys would eat it to get sick and get evac'ed out of combat

>>13454194

>halve

>>13454218
>friend and I are down to our last couple bucks until payday
>make a poverty meal of rice and beans
>wash dishes with Fabuloso because he didn’t have any other cleaning products
>boil the rest of our rice and beans
>tastes like Fabuloso because that shit somehow stuck to the pot after 10 minutes of rinsing
goddamn Fabuloso kicked me down on one of my worst days

*in the club plays*

>>13458399
>Dawn of the Chinese people.

>>13459090
>out of eden
forbidden for sure.

>>13457775
still tastes good

>>13455925
>. Calories are a unit of energy
no they aren't. Calories is women magazine material, and unrelated to any sort of biological process.

>>13458280
I tried it as a kid it was chalky and salty, but not especially unpleasant.

>>13463030
aren't some barnacles edible? the big ones?

>>13464364
t. Retard

>>13464364
based and joulepilled

Also, fucking bath bombs and those clear bath gel balls.

>>13464418
On the token of bath soaps and foam gels, dish soaps looking and smelling fine like a motherfucker.

I hope I can one day meet an American president so I can ask them what it tastes like.

>>13448589
petrified meat

>>13449383
>>13449340
>>13448620
An extract of atrope belladonna (atropine) is used to counteract nerve gas. It acts as an antagonist that blocks the agent from binding.
It was used to dilate eyes, stop sweating, not have to use the bathroom, the sort of things fashionable ladies wanted when they went out on the town so it became known as "belladonna" which basically means "beautiful lady"

>>13459091
>>13459020
But fruit is intended to be eaten by animals, it's the dispersal mechanism to spread seeds. Very counter intuitive.

>>13459020
>>13459091
It tastes sweet though. What the fuck were they thinking? Poisonous things are supposed to tell you they're poisonous so you leave them alone. This is bullshit.

>>13464420
fuuuuck you cannot convince me those are just bottles of liquid fruit delights

>>13464541
>eat fruit
>walk off somewhere and die
>seeds grow and get fertilizer from your dead body

>>13446995
I used one on my little cousin like a blackjack fighting with im over it and gave him a nosebleed
then they took stretch away

>>13464648
Holy shit, I saw and had some of those for the first time just last week. They were good.

>>13464420
WHY IS "DISH SOAP" THE SMALLEST WORD ON THAT BOTTLE

>>13464405
REAd actual science books, nigger. Calories were rejected fom science as a whole, and cells don't "burn" anything. The human body isn't a furnace, as proven by the extremely low quantity of oxygen we consume compared to the mass of food we eat. we need months to produce a full Kg of CO2. Do the math compared to how much burning the dried equivalent of our food should produce.

>>13453537
?????

>>13459085
>pulls out dab rig

>>13464850
it has the british flag in the ad, so clearly its a uk army ad...

>>13454180
and we were taught we couldn't reproduce without the opposite sex's (willingly) cooperation

>>13464902
you're clearly far more clever than the majority of /ck/

>>13464902
that was my point

>>13455536
I imagine opening these guys up like those chocolate easter bunnies

>>13446817
forbidden christmas cookies

>>13458687
Literally impossible

>>13446775
That filename

Lmao

>>13446730
>power miners

>>13466507
>Not Rock Raiders
Pleb