/ck/ - Food & Cooking

if you have a sensitive nose and tongue you can taste all the BS flavors and notes. if you don't then you'll have to BS your way through it using slick salesman talk. watch a few documentaries on wine and sommss. since we're heading into a recession you're goyna get btfo. a waiter can do the job of a somm in a pinch.

>>13366887
>BS your way through
People who drink wine go to tastings and discuss flavors and their preferences. Someone with a good palate can immediately tell when someone has a bad palate.

>>13366917
lol, its all bullshit, you just need to sound like you know what you are talking about

>>13366924
>t. tastelet

>>13366924
Sounds like you have a bad palate.

>>13366917
what i meant by BS your way through it is, you could just have a good memory and memorize little factoids about each wine that is offered at the restaurant you work at. thus, being a somm is great if you majored in art history. same skillset of memorization and regurgitation. read lots of wine sites/blogs/watch vids.

"this is a 1998 chateau lafavre, one of their best years, and is known to have berry-forward notes. very popular. stevie wonder was here last saturday and had a whole bottle. that based nigger sure loves wine."

>>13366856
>How would one go about becoming a sommelier?
Start with the credentialing society or organization, whoever they are (could be multiple versions), and then down from there to their recommended programs around the world. Compare and contrast.
It probably wouldn't hurt to have a job or travels or income to try a great variety of wines.
I'm sure the top culinary schools also have an angle for it.

Is the end goal to get a job? Might get a hospitality job first, or bartender, and at least work somewhere you can try some things.

>>13366968
Yeah, I have servers that don't even drink (work in a wine bar) and that's pretty much what they do, at much less autistic level. That doesn't mean it's bs; the people they're getting their information from and at least some of the people they're selling it to actually do drink wine and enjoy it. I'm assuming OP is interested in becoming a sommelier because the idea of drinking good wine and getting paid for it sounds appealing. The truth is that having a good palate isn't really something you can really improve. It's like how some people are tone deaf and other people literally see music visually.

it's legitimately all bullshit
they've debunked wine tasting dozens and dozens of times with blind taste tests

>>13366928
>>13366932
>falling for the expensive wine meme

>>13367265
>they've debunked wine tasting

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/jun/23/wine-tasting-junk-science-analysis

>>13367265
This anon knows.

>>13367276
do i need to spoonfeed you the multiple videos of blind taste tests where they lie out their ass and it's revealed it was actually cheap $5 grocery store wine
please fuck off

>>13367440
>i don't like thing therefore everyone else is just pretending

>>13366856
My stoner friend was taking sommelier classes, so I followed him along once just to see what it was about. It was all bullshit. They were still teaching nonsense like different parts of the tongue can taste different flavors. Made me convinced that as long as you pretend to know what you're talking about and know a few key buzzwords, anyone can be a "sommelier".

>>13367595
There's an actual certification with extensive studying to be a somm you retard. Bullshitting your way through wine tasting, which I agree is something you can learn how to do, is not enough to become a somm in professional sense because you need certifications which require knowledge of winemaking and wine regions

>>13367265
It's funny how insecure and combatitve some people get around wine. And sure enough these people quickly reveal themselves to know nothing about winemaking when pressed and gesture impotently to some BuzzFeed video of someone failing a blind taste test

>>13367774
Winetards are like flatearthers, when someone points out how fucking retarded they are they fly off the hook

>>13366856
Before or after your gender confirmation surgery?

>>13366856
Just talk bollocks and tell lies. Any Democrat could become a sommelier.

>>13367774
lirerally seething holy shit

>>13366856
I do not drink wine because I am not a liberal or a homosexual or a feminazi

>>13367774
You're the audiophiles of food
Have fun paying the retard tax for placebo

>>13367882
It's scary how true this statement is

>>13367774
>s-some buzzfeed video!
there are dozens of these not on buzzfeed or by buzzfeed but you can cry more

>>13367475
>I'm too retarded to google a video

>>13367951
Hank Williams Jr sang about home made wine all the time and he wasn't any of those things

>>13366856
is the somm in sommelier pronoudnced like
>somber
or
>someBODY once told me

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5161502/

>>13366856
>NO TALKY BEFORE COFFEE
Is there anything more sad than a cool wine aunt with dried up ovaries and toxo brain?

>>13367774
>>13367736
somellier detected

>>13368219
20-something 4channel virgins

>>13368149
Like the Somme offensive. French is simple, pronunciation follows spelling.

>>13366856
first, be a massively pretentious cunt. then pretend to like wine. done.

>>13368140
He was just following family tradition, hoss.

They do triangle tests. You can detect diacetyl, acididity, sweetness, tannins, and most lactones easily.

>>13367595
It's not like those diagrams for children where the taste buds are mapped out. You experience different flavors and aromas as wine moves across your tongue and through your mouth.

>>13369991
>French is simple, pronunciation follows spelling.
As a french person, let me tell you that is absolutely wrong. French is a clusterfuck to uderstand, even for native french people.
Try to guess how this is prononced : "oiseaux"

>>13366924
Exactement. Il a une belle robe !

>>13370100
Wah-so

>>13370100
98 birds

>>13370110
Wah-Zo

>>13366856
learn how to bullshit people.

>>13367440
>a group of people drinking wine didn't know what they were talking about
>therefore everyone who has ever drank wine doesn't know what they are talking about

nice critical thinking skills there buddy

>>13371135
its obviously not just random people retard, theyve done these tests with master sommes and it turns out the same. at the end of the day, price has a pretty limited correlation with quality when it comes to wine

>>13366856
imagine the smell

>>13366924
We get it dude you saw a Penn and Teller episode once.

>>13371135
too bad it's consistent across the board
If it was one or two videos you'd have a point
But there are dozens and dozens of articles and videos debunking this shit
You're dumb and have no argument

>>13371245
oh so you know you're trash

Most important thing is, by far, to attend a college or program that offers WSET or Court of Master certification. In general, you're going to want to engage in daily wine education and train your tastebuds on what different varietals/terriors taste like, and do as much networking as possible. You need to be both skilled with wine and impressing people.

>>13366856

Drink lots of coffee before you go to bed

I'll bite. Qualifications: In trade for gagillion years.

1. Develop a mental database for aromas /tastes. 2. Develop a vocabulary for food and taste experiences. Most people dont go beyond yum and yuck.
3. Learn from books as much as you can, most of the training is book based anyway. Go to the library and second book stores, dont buy anything. Tons of info out there.
4. sit down and READ like a MF. Learn. Its all there. Break it down region by region, leave Italy to last (it'll make you wanna pull your hair out).
5. Buy cheap wine and compare with your texbooks, your smell DB, practice practice.
6. Go to wine bar, tea room, perfumes retailer. The language is not so different.
7. Dont be a pretentious asshat. Its all fermented grape juice.
8. ????
9. PROFIT!
10. Dont drink yourself to death. Easy to overdo.