/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>13142821
Another night of greasy masturbation?

>>13142821
I do that too, after the escort leaves, of course

>>13142821
At least pick up a can of anchovies at the gas station if they don't offer them at the pizza place.

>>13142883

offer the escort a slice ya knob

>>13142883
>paying for a hotel on top of an escort
Either fuck them at home or go to their place.

>>13142821
looks kind of blech desu. last pizza you had looked better IMO

>>13142821
LOL bro just ask your wife to prepare your meals. Mine got something like pic related and whenever I have to travel she'll prepare the meals for when I'm gone! I was out of town last month and she put curry in one segment, a beef stir fry in another, and the last pot was filled with rice so I could eat it with the other two. Saved a ton compared to eating out every night.

>>13142821
WTF is on that pizza?

>>13142893
I don't even order until she leaves, ya dingus

>>13142924
Goldfish crackers?

>>13142924
Op here, it's slices of mango.

>>13142900
yeah why wouldn't i just bring the escort home to my wife and kids, hmm why didn't I think of that

>>13142933
Reported to the marriage police

>>13142900
Incalls are how the police get you. Pay the little extra for outcall and have less of a risk. Unless it's one you've seen a few times before.

>>13142937
You look for the ones who say outright they wont service black guys, which is most escorts. Cops are not going to turn down a chance to arrest anyone.

>>13142937
It isn't illegal to pay for the services of an escort here, it's only illegal to curbcrawl for them

>>13142950
Or better yet, do business with strippers. There is always strippers who work on the side.

>>13142980
Or better yet just jerk off

>>13142989
Touch a penis? What are you some kind of gay boy?

>>13143022
I use the power of my mind to achieve hands free orgasm

>>13142821
Why are you always eating cold pizza

>>13142913
Based. I love those as well.

>>13142821
Dude, you're on the company dime, expense account typically allows at least $25 for dinner. Its your fault for staying holed up in a room. Go out and get better food along with a cocktail. If you have extreme anxiety about eating in public, you can still get nearly any restaurant to put a good meal of any variety in a Styrofoam box. You don't need to keep complaining to us because you are uncreative and awkward. I'm sure you have options, you just aren't doing it.

Instead of posting your pizzas that you always order, why not post pictures of the hotel menus that you stay at and let us take a look at your other options? Don't get me wrong, I love a good pie as much as the next john, but at least get creative here. Nobody gives a shit about your pizzas. Show us what your hotel offers and at what prices. Let us see what things are available for you.

>>13143044
Look up "beach shenanigans"... It's a guy who goes to nude beaches and sets up a camera and does hands-free orgasms (pretending to be asleep) while women react. It's hilarious

>>13142821
What is your job?

>>13142821
Another jizz and goldfish cracker pizza?

>>13143153
I don’t get why the women would even notice. He’s at a nude beach where there are lots of penises and his pecker is tiny.

>>13143219
But most penises at a nude beach aren't violently spasming as they spurt out cum. Just google for it. #18 is the best one

>>13142821
Hey man, going to tell you how to do it next time, this is the best tasting pizza you can get from a chain. Its insane good.

Papa johns
Pizza with white (ranch) sauce, pineapple, bacon, and add chicken if youd like.

Its bomb, plz post pics when you do and let us know how you like it.

>>13142890
/thread

>>13143153
It's gay enough that I watch porn. Why would I want to watch a dude's dick cumming outside of the context of literal sex with a woman. Faggot!

>>13143609
“Faggot” is so ‘80s

>>13143153
which site?

>>13143675
Used to be xvideos but they removed them, I’m sure it’s on other sites

>>13143153
Pornography production should be punishable by death. There is nothing hilarious about that filth in any context, much less the abominable scenario you've described.

>>13143757
Were you touched as a child or just a big ol' prude?

You made it shit op.

Imagine how comfy this pic would be with a few slight adjustments. Lights off, tv on and pepperoni pizza. That's peak hotel comfy.

>>13142913
Jeez louise, imagine being this lame. It's okay to have a woman send you out of the door grasping a lunchbox WHEN YOU'RE FIVE and it's your Mom. Dignity, man, dignity.

>>13143757
t. MADD member

>>13142821
that pizza makes me sad
>>13142890
this one looks nice but salty af

>>13144017
You spelled Tipper Gore wrong.

>>13143659
Yet it describes you so well in Current Year (R). Rot in hell, fag.