/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Never get involved with a vegan. There are always other girls, anon.

>>12785818
Make vegan burgers dumbass.

Premade tofu scramble or a vegan sausage for a brunch date recepie

>>12785818
>she's vegan though
run

>>12785818
>She’s vegan tho.
Lost. She's gonna end up being a cunt if not immediately, eventually.

>>12785818
Learn how to make quick breads. I usually make 2 loavs of a quickbread like this: 3 bananas, some honey, and some sugar, also try putting in crushed up date fruits which add a ton of flavor. of course us the prope amount of flour and stuff. Do not use oil! You must not cook your breads with oil. The bread must be sweet, not oily at all.

>she’s vegan tho
OP listen carefully. You need to either give up, or cook her a medium rare steak with eggs. Then when she gets offended by that meal beat her up. She’ll instantly get wet and do everything you ask of her.

You don't have to be charitable anon. Dating a girl who is mentally challenged sounds pretty awful.

>>12785843
/thread
I love /ck/ dating advice

>>12785818
Don't make some faggot sandwich, that's not cooking. This bitch is an annoying cunt but the recipe looks like something I'd consider eating (obviously leave out the ghee):

https://www.paleorunningmomma.com/twice-baked-potatoes-paleo-whole30-vegan/

You can make them ahead of time, taste test, etc then reheat them as you make your other item

pic related 1/2

>>12785937
2/2 then something like this, minus the feta obviously

https://www.theorganickitchen.org/peach-plum-and-cherry-salad-with-white-balsamic-vinaigrette/

pic related

obviously you do as much ahead of time as possible for both and concentrate on looking smooth in the kitchen and the usual small talk bs

>>12785818
OP, please. I need you to listen to me. Don't brush me off as a retard until you have tried this yourself. I have chosen you for your earnestness.
Imagine being a vegan. Imagine being a vegan who is fat. Imagine thinking you'll never being able to have chocolate pudding again. Imagine the suffering of every other vegan dessert being absolute shit. Make this. You're welcome.
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/234324/chocolate-avocado-pudding/

Make sure you blend it or use a food processor, don't just use a fork like a retard.

>>12785818
give that bitch a blue rare steak

>>12785818
Just tell her you're saving your cooking for marriage, but would be happy to cook for her one day.

>>12785818
Why is she vegan? This is an important question to understand whether she's worth it.

>vegan
Ohohoho

Just make plain rice and tell her it's as bland as her lifestyle choices.

>>12785818
make her some carpaccio, remind her why food that used to breathe is the best food

>>12786271
I don’t expect you to fully understand this, but there often comes a point in a young man’s life where he wishes to stick his engorged, erect penis inside a comely young lass, regardless of her “thoughts” or “ideas”, and move his penis quickly outward and back inward; in essence jerking himself off with her reproductive system.

It just so happens to be that IF this is your goal, and it appears to be OP’s, then insulting said woman is undesirable UNLESS, as other anons have remarked itt, it makes her further “wet” (self-lubrication of reproductive system) and servile towards envelope-pushing sexual demands from OP.

It is a dangerous calculus, yet one as old as time, and OP must navigate skillfully.

>ahah le silly begans xD
reddit, you're all reddit

>>12786286
Most of us are no longer teenagers. We have grown out of this.

>>12786319
This is what I call a UFO argument. It just kinda zig zags around in the atmosphere. People temporarily stop what they’re doing and go WTF? But it eventually vanishes and everyone resumes their previous task because while a spectacle and theoretically interesting, flashing lights are not directly relevant to anything important to people on the ground.

>>12786337
18 or older. Thanks and goodbye.

>>12785818
make a thali of Indian food. Some dosa's, chutneys, samosa, pakoras, bahji's, papadums and other condiments. She will fall in love with you. And yes it's also vegan but not in that nasty vegan we need to replace real shit with nasty vegan shit stuff.

>wasting your skills on a vegan
you should be appalled

>>12786339
>more lights flashing in the sky
have a great day anon, you wacky bastard

>>12785818
go korean, they rarely eat meat, kimchi and shit like that.

>>12785818
Veganism causes b vitamin deficiencies all around.
There's a 99% probability she's mentally retarded and very unhealthy/sick.

>>12785818
Ask her what kind of food and dishes she likes/makes if you ever end up on the subject while chatting at work. Make sure to seem really interested on the subject and follow up with some more questions about it

>>12785818
if she won't eat cheese at the very least, drop her.

>>12785818
>Fucking on the job
>With a vegan no less
Unless you're a student on a summer job you'll quit in a month then by all means try to get that pussy but if not... Don't. Just don't. So many ways for this to go wrong.

>>12785818
She’s lesbian 100%

>>12786405
When you’re young you need things to go wrong so you have jerk off material for the second half of your life. Let him be.

>>12786410
Anon it's 2019 it's not like 10 years ago anymore. Times have changed (for the worse) and so have potential consequences.

>>12785818
Grilled veggies or grilled veggies soup with tofu stirfry, and if you wanna have her snack on something before she snack on dick, make salsa with roast sweet corn

>>12786422
>There’s this girl I reeeeeally like at my job. She knows how much I love to cook and has even asked me when I’m gonna make something for her.

If you don’t tell OP to go for it you have no soul. They both seem young. OP, go for it. Fuck 2019, fuck consequences, fuck faggots like whatever asshole I’m replying to. Go get ‘em.

>>12786468
needs way more veggies get some veggies on there maybe some veggies and activated eggs and some nice de-acidised veggie clubroot (organic) get also some veggies for health like parsnips and microsalad with veggie shavings like carrote and some veggies for side dish

Make her an impossible steak for an impossible cunt
But really its just a normal steak.
The iron will snap her out of her vegan trap

Don't bother. It's clear you're a cumbrain who only saw a wet hole and not a human being. You're not a vegan and she's not going to eat meat. Come out clean and find a girl who's not a malnourished cunt.

>>12786493
Yo.
It's just dinner
Not gastronomy

Don't listen to these cunts my mums vegan and she's had non vegan partner for years now and they do fine. And my mums the best cook I know she makes vegan food that's better than a lot of meat dishes I've eaten. Just make a salad or something or cook a burger with a vegan patty or vegan sausages.

>>12786600
>she makes vegan food that's better than a lot of meat dishes I've eaten
No anon

Make something with zuccini "noodles". Spiral a bunch of zuccini and blend up some sauce of your choice. Here's an idea:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycSBGVcgqNs

>>12786030
That seems like an interesting manga. Can you let me know where it comes from ? Thank you

>>12785818
Make a stir fry you dumb nigger, maybe some vegan pasta too

>>12785818
>wants to date a vegan
I refuse to help those who refuse to help themselves

Vegan or not, do you just want to bring food to work for her? That soznds retarded. She was probably only joking anyway.

>>12786286
I had the same. I went to Asia and hired some high end escorts to deal with it.
Now I know it's not worth it to deal with a vegan. I'd rather buy an expensive onahole.

>>12785831

this. veganism is a mental illness.

make red lentil dahl. it's very tasty and it is a way of showing off exotic indian cuisine. i make it frequently even though im not vegetarian/vegan

>>12785818
>getting involved with someone who's your coworker AND vegan
double trouble

>>12785818
>She's a vegan tho-

>>12785818
If shes vegan shes not going to want your meat anyway. Find another pursuit.

>>12785818
dated a vegan for a year wasn't to bad, food was delicious but did crave sometimes a really juicy cheeseburger

make a spaghetti out of zucchini, carrot and leak, stir fry for 5 minutes and serve with pesto and finely sliced dried cherry tomatoes. If you are able, make some vegan balls out of legumes

but yeah youll crave the occasional burger when you date a vegan, and you will have awful bowel movement for the first 6 months

>>12785818
>vegan forms of non-vegan foods
Why the fuck are vegans so braindead? You have so many non-animal products out there to consume, yet the first thing you faggots do is replicate the thing you claim to be so vehemently against.

>>12787552
they're not against the food style or preparation, they are against the animal cruelty

>>12787572
>they are against the animal cruelty
Have you ever had a conversation with a vegan about their beliefs? Very rapidly they will start to admit that animal lives matter only at the expense of humans. If they cared about animal lives, they wouldn't resort to extremism first to solve any of these animal rights issues. They can't just tell you that cattle are suffering, they have to go into morbid detail to emotionally manipulate you into their belief system. They have no remorse in harming human beings when it comes to "trying to save the animals".

vegans are the trannies of food culture.
change my mind.

>>12785818
Dated it a vegan once. Don't fucking do it. She's gonna expect you to be vegan as well and if you end up slipping at all, she's gonna be like "You obviously don't want to be a vegan" and be fucking obnoxious. It's not worth the cancer.

>>12785818
>There’s this girl I reeeeeally like at my job
as a general rule of thumb, if you are infatuated with her, she is not attracted to you at all. please do not ask her out. pursue one of her 'ugly' friends instead.

>>12785818
look up asian recipes with tofu. a lot of them are already vegan or can very easily be made vegan especially korean and japanese food since they use a lot of tofu

heres a few examples of recipes that i'll link:
http://www.beyondkimchee.com/spicy-bean-sprout-salad/
https://www.thespruceeats.com/korean-bean-sprout-soup-2118953
https://rasamalaysia.com/japchae-chap-chae-recipe/

>>12785818
Don't listen to these faggots, OP. For some reason dumb people are easily threatened by veganism in general. If you like her she's probably not one of the fart-sniffing, self-masturbatory types who goes around calling everyone carnists.
Now do you actually like her or do you just want to fuck her?

How do you know if someone hates veganism?
Don't worry, they'll tell you

>>12785818
don't do it the pH of her vagina is probably off and stinks since she doesn't get an fats or omega 3s or any good bacteria

>>12786847
I am also intrigued by this and would appreciate the information

>>12785843
I’m gonna second this. Don’t waste your time with mentally ill women

>>12785818
Do vegans swallow after BJs?

>>12788051
uh... yes.

MAPO TOFU

jusr dont add the pork mince it's not crucial. make it all the time for my vegetarian gf she loves it

>>12785818
Get some wei chuan dumpling sauce (not the hot one) and make vegan spring rolls
A coconut curry based stir fry with sambal oulek and some towels cuz that girl will be dripping wet

>>12785818
dude its fucking obvious, you cook her a wonderful non-vegan meal and then she's forced to choose. If she doesn't choose you, dropkick her through the apartment window

>>12788051
I'm not even a vegan and you're retarded. Veganism is an ethical choice, not one made because "hurr I hate meat". Swallowing a load of penusbatter from a willing participant does not violate the vegan ethical code.

>>12785818
>gf of 3 years decides to go vegan
>okay whatever
>can no longer cook for her like she likes since I don't know shit about vegan food
>can't go to our favorite restaurants anymore
>anytime we want to go out have to figure out where she can eat for a half hour
>figure it'll get better eventually
>she left me 4 months ago
>still love her more than anything
Pretty unrelated I guess but I'm drunk and felt like bitching. Godspeed OP. Hope you get her.

>>12785818
>half jokingly
It's already half won then. Your sandwich idea already sounds great enough, you should go for it. Best of luck.

>>12788780
But I thought the ethical code was to not partake in the consumption of anything that came from animals? Morally, what's the difference between a cup of milk and a load of semen?

>>12788924
>forced pregnancies to keep up with demand of milk
>unable to give consent
vs
>suck a dick with consent

>>12785818
>Vegan Bread
So she won't even eat yeast? Good luck to you anon.

If you are interested in long term relationship, the important thing is to make sure she will not be judgmental about your food choices. So what ever you decide to serve her, make sure you eat what you like. If she comes off as morally superior or starts acting like even being near your food makes her nauseous, then I would not recommend anything beyond a one night stand.

>>12785818
Just buy her the impossible whopper you dumbo

>>12785818
My gf is a vegan. They make comfy partners.
Scrambled tofu is kinda fun, especially if she misses eggs.
r/vegangifrecipes is useful for ideas.

>>12789647

OP here, appreciate all the love and feed back guys. I ended up making her an eggplant burger. She freaking loved it! She was also beyond happy I actually made her something. I really feel we got something special. Hate to break a lot of hearts, but it’s really a fever dream. We have this weird, sexual tension all the time. We’ve gotten very close since I started working with her. Reality is, she’s my manager....and she’s married. That’s way too complicated to get involved with. I’ll just enjoy the fantasy for now.

>>12788793
I feel you brosef

>>12789459
>responds to the example, not the principle
Listen here retard: if a vegan stumbled across some wild honey from a deserted hive they wouldn't eat it. It's also why they don't eat free-range eggs or anything like that, because it's supports a system where animals exist for our pleasure/livelihood.

>>12789792
They're not a hivemind. It's not an official rule with specific rules you must abide. It's weird that you people fail to understand this simple fact. Probably you just refuse to acknowledge it so you can make up the rules for them, making it easier to argue against.

>>12789792
Fine
>>12788924
>But I thought the ethical code was to not partake in the consumption of anything that came from animals?
The ethical code is to not commodify animals, which includes, but isn't limited to, consuming anything that comes from animals. Just as you wouldn't put certain kinds of humans in cages and charge for their exhibition, people shouldn't propagate the institution of zoos. Veganism isn't just diet.

>>12787607
If it bothers you to hear about what actually happens to the animals maybe you shouldn't be eating meat you retarded faggot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob2CYmTx9PM

mangchi more like bang-chi cause she's bangin' :D

>>12790225
>Just as you wouldn't put certain kinds of humans in cages
The world would be a much better place if niggers were placed in cages though.

I wonder if vegans will eat veg stuff that's known to cause massive deforestation, habitat degradation and biodiversity loss, like west african cacao, indonesian palm oil, amazonian soy, mexican avocados or even freakin' rice.

>>12790385
Also, coffee, bananas, sugar cane and pretty much anything that's been sprayed with pesticides.

>she's vegan

>>12788780
yeah it's made because they care about life
swallowing kills thousands of unborn babies

>>12787607
True plus-- Vegans themselves exploit and kill animals in huge numbers for their own pleasure/ food. Kale and soy don't fall into their plates by magic. Forests have to be cut down, destroying animals habitat, and animals are massacred on farms in "pest control" using every type of method depending on the farm.

Vegans laugh and smirk at their deaths and declare that the animals they (vegans) kill, are "necessary" deaths. (Vegans don't gaf about animals, because Veganism is a starvation cult, "the animals" is just a rallying cry, an emotion based recruiting tool)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjF-CTCiJ_c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McW1fJHY0-Y

>>12790246
Funny comment because you don't give a single fuck about the animals you kill.

>>12790727
What ridiculous cope. Only idiots even spend a moment considering this a legitimate argument. What do you think farm animals are fed with? Where do you think farm animals stand? Any accusation you can make against vegetable farming applies twofold to animal farming.

>>12790392
>>12790385
Vegans will happily clear cut every forest on Earth and not give the slightest fuck. They will even laugh in your face if you ask about this. Their canned answer is how each and every one of them gets their food from a "small local vegan farm."

(The real reason is, because all the official positions on Veganism are just a misdirection/propaganda for a Munchausen self-harm cult)

>>12790733
>What ridiculous cope.

As I said, vegans will laugh in your face if you ask them about their own hands soaked in the blood of innocent animals, you provide a quick example of that.

>Only idiots even spend a moment considering this a legitimate argument.

I don't call it an argument, just a fact- Every sobbing "animal loving" vegan is a hypocrite who pays blood money to farmers to clear-cut forests and slaughter countless animals to protect their PRECIOUS vegetable food.


>What do you think cows are fed with?
Grass, and the ranchers don't have to "feed" the cows the grass, they know how to eat it since millions of years.

>Where do you think the cows you eat stand?

On a good ranch, outdoors on grass, under the sun like God intended. Wash the blood off your hands vegan hypocrite, you have zero standing as any kind of animal protector.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjF-CTCiJ_c

Make or buy pasta without eggs in it. Then make Pasta aglio e olio. Except without cheese ,duh. Make some soup to go with it aswell

>>12785818
Tell her you're a vegan too and you want to eat her vegana

>>12785818
if she's vegan that means she's malnourished, and say you did get together and get married, have kids - she'd be a sticc and not in a good way, and your child would die of malnourishment after being forced into a vegan diet. do not get involved with baby killers.

Stir fry.

>>12786349
Koreans use Anchovy stock in almost everything idiot

>>12789827
>n..not all vegans are like that!!
No shit. Not every vegan believes the exact same thing, but veganism is clearly defined and you're trying to point out exceptions to be correct on a technicality. Humans are sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex, yet here you are being a complete faggot. Your faggotry doesn't refute the rule.

Tequila and quaaludes. Add a dash of rufilin right at the end and serve quickly in dark room.

bread is vegan already you fucking idiot op, if youre buying vegan bread youre getting scammed

>>12785818
just give her a fucking salad or something, vegans larping with fake versions of real food is pretty cringey

>>12791297
Just don't tell her spastic

ITT: faggots who have never killed an animal debating other faggots who have never killed an animal

>>12791330
B-but... exploiting yeasts to make fermented foods is unethical! Yeasts deserve respect too.
Then again, yeasts are not vegetables, but they're also not plants, and they're not sentient, so fuck these hypocrytical little buggers.

>>12786283
plants breathe too

>>12785818
Candy making. Fancy pumpkin-spice nut brittle of some sort. Throw in some rice bran syrup or agave or something alternative like that to make her happy. Foamy sponge candy, with a fancy honey in it, like avocado or orange blossom honey. Sea salt it.

Share a pasta or grain salad at work, some kind of moisture sweet and tangy whole grain berry kind of deal with nuts, vinegars, citrus, herbs, dried and fresh fruits. Add some feta to the top of your own, of course. It'll need some help. Homemade crackers (no eggs, sadly). If she eats eggs, anything is possible.

But, honestly I wouldn't at all. ever. want. to date a full on vegan or really anyone with food issues. It's never just health or nutrition with these people, it's an indicator of something seriously wrong. It's like asking for someone mentally ill to harass and bother you to the 10th degree your whole relationship. Friends, ok. Occasional ones at that. No more than a casual distance, not full on besties, ok?

>>12785818
>vegan

Into the trash she goes.

>>12785843

Unironically based and redpilled.

>>12791702
Vegans won't touch honey though. "Bees are not slaves!" or somesuch.

>>12787725
Also applies for vegans, crossfitters, scientologists, feminists, keto/paleo fans, cat lovers and a bunch of other annoying asshats

>>12791785
You don't know her or what she will and will not eat. People just say vegan as a catch-all because the specifics of their decision is annoying to others.

>>12786030
>>12786847
I think this manga looks fucking stupid. Gimme a link so I can comment officially to tell how much I do not like it.

>>12785818
Serve her a plate of homemade shit and when she acts all offended slam it right into her dumb vegan whore face

>>12790757
There is not enough land for everyone to eat grass fed beef, you peanut.

>>12791330
Not always, a lot of bread will have random honey thrown in so you have to check the ingredient label.

>>12785818
>She’s vegan tho.

ABANDON SHIP

>>12793341
She's the first wh*toid I've seen here that started my peepee swelling.

What' s up w/ this meme about vegans being bad partners
Pic related has been a vegan for years

>>12795254
Am I supposed to know who that is? Are you talking about the guy or girl?

Wut. Are all you fucking retards? Invite her over, have her teach you something, impress her with your technique and tweak simple shit and she'll think its the best meal of her life. Then you plow.

>>12795476
What an imagination this incel has.

>>12795478
>incel

I'll have you know a qt bartender texted me tonight. How's life as a tard?

>>12795503
I think you need to commit yourself before this psychotic break gets too extreme.

>>12795506
When's the last time a qt bartender texted you during her shift?

>>12795520
I've never had a psychotic break, to be honest.

>>12795522
>TFW no qt bartender leading you on

Life must suck. You should go post some cast iron bait.

>>12791055
For vegans, abortion and vasectomies are important, not being "breeders."

The few vegan children that do get born and raised in a Munchausen cult, when these vegan kids start growing up it's going to be a tragic comedy.

>>12795378
Really? You don't recognize Nataly Portman?

>>12786030
>chuck your bengis
lul

>>12789686
I don't get the meaning behind this post.

>>12795928
I swear I didn't, and I'm a burger too.

>>12785843
Yep, this is how got my wife, just beat the veganism out of her she will thank you for it later. Also if you can slap her with the steak she will be extra juicy for you afterwards

>>12795928
What, from a thonged ass in the foreground or from the poorly lit 1/4 of a face in the background of a low res .jpg? No I fucking can't tell who that is, jesus.