/ck/ - Food & Cooking

imagine going to a coffee house and being indignant that they serve more than just gas station tier americano

>>12779208
This would have been considered humorous as a one-off in a local newspaper 20 years ago.

>>12779208

>>12779234
Might have been okay if the 3rd panel read, "life is nothing but unpleasant sensations" (or, you know, just a direct Schopenhauer quote), but as it is it completely falls flat.

>>12779208
>/ck/ humor
Nosuchthing.png

>>12779208
Ficking boomer

>>12779245
>grown ass man eating cereal
I wouldn't have a problem with this if there was some sense that he was trying to recapture being a kid, but he's wearing a fucking dress shirt. No adult male living alone in a dark room with the blinds drawn is going to be wearing clothes, let alone a button up shirt.

>>12779270
This is neither funny nor /ck/.

>>12779236
The last time I opened my local newspaper it had a comic comparing based boomer kids in the sixties wanting to be astronauts versus the stupid zoomer children wanting to be videogame streamers

>>12779236
And remains humorous today.

>>12779270
He's right though. Coke is shit compared to Pepsi.

>>12779278
>drawing with crayons
>calling anyone else a virgin
If you're going to pay fast food prices almost everything is better than McDonald's. If you're going to pay restaurant prices almost any real restaurant is better than 5 guys. It's apples and oranges, but neither one is good.

>>12779289
Okay, Tyler.

>>12779208
if you are going to a specialized store that doesnt just sell filtered coffee, you need to be a bit more specific on what kind of coffee you want. americano? latte? etc

>>12779321
Whatever that damn frog orders, I want it too.

>>12779208
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q84nfWkLsYU

>>12779321
No you don't. Every coffee shop as a house/brew of the day. You can walk into the most pretentious place in pdx or brooklyn and ask for a "small house black coffee" and nobody will bat an eye.

>>12779332
>Reddit and Recreation

>>12779349
I know this is your first outbreak from /b/ but honestly get the fuck out of here.

>>12779208
The vast majority of coffee beans come from two species of coffee: Coffea arabica, and Coffea robusta. More than three-quarters of those sold in the world are a variety of Coffea arabica, while the bulk of the remainder is robusta, which is also known as Coffea canephora.
Really makes you think I guess.

>>12779361
You're the one with shit taste. Get out.

>>12779208
Thats boomer humor. And like actual boomer, not meme humor. Embarassing

>>12779373
Oh, so you're the guy.

>>12779370
>More than three-quarters of those sold in the world are a variety of Coffea arabica, while the bulk of the remainder is robusta
That seems really hard to believe. All canned, instant, and for the most part 3rd world coffee is robusta (yes, arabica is mostly grown in 3rd world countries, but I mean the shit they actually drink).

>>12779208

>>12779245
The only acceptable cereal for an adult to eat is oats

What do I feed a baby mouse? I found him outside my apartment.

>>12779465
Oats
And keep us posted. He cute

>>12779208
I actually approve this kind of humor. Vote Pete.

>>12779470
His eyes are still closed

>>12779465
Oats or veggies mice aren't too picky
If it is really still a baby a dropper with kitten milk formula from a pet store will do the job.

>>12779405
based

>>12779470

>>12779505
HAHA what happened to his peel?

>>12779524

>>12779530

>>12779505
lost

>>12779536

>>12779248
>pseudo-intellectual deconstruction of web comics

>>12779545

>>12779552

>>12779556
This is isn't so much humor as it is objective truth

>>12779321
>>12779343
This, you need to be able to say "black coffee" and do whatever you do to ruin your coffee with milk/sugar yourself.

>>12779524
Actually laughed

>>12779248
>but as it is it completely falls flat.

>>12779556
Very funny! Thanks mate!

Keep em cominggg

>>12779563
Do you drink beer? Ever?

>>12779563
It's clever because it's actually about people pretending to find xkcd funny.

>>12779343
>"small house black coffee
thats a fucking small americano,my case still stands.

>>12779208
There is no truth in this. Any coffee shop will know what you mean if you say "black coffee"

>>12779569

>>12779606
I don't drink or like the taste of alcohol much
But I'm not pretentious enough to assume I'm the norm.

>>12779606
I've drank it enough times to know that it's objectively bad. In all forms. Just look at that twisted face that literally every person makes after taking a drink of beer. That's all the proof you need to know that it sucks

>>12779465
Feed it to a snake.

>>12779642
Nothing wrong with that at all.

I just don't want anyone to feel like they have to do something. I really do enjoy the taste of most beers and a lot of things that are even more bitter, like amaros and digestives. When I go to a bar I get a jagerbomb because I like the taste/caffeine/alcohol

Is there any kind of drink you like, or do you just stay away from booze all together?

>>12779540
I did not like this. It made me feel very sad.

>>12779655
>it's objectively bad. In all forms. Just look at that twisted face that literally every person makes after taking a drink of beer.
Whose standup special did you steal that zinger from, faggot?

>>12779655
Do you like spicy food? some people hate it and refuse to eat it at all. I know people who cant eat mashed potatoes because they're too "goopy"

Everybody has their own tastes

If you don't like something, then don't drink it. But also don't be afraid to try something again, they say your taste buds completly change every 10 years or so

>>12779505
I really really like this image

>>12779658
>do you just stay away from booze all together?
Generally stay away from it.
I've tried a whole bunch of different beers, even have a friend that works at a craft brewery. If I'm in a bar with friends I'll just get basic shit like a gin and tonic or a rum and coke.
I can bear with the taste of alcohol but its not something I would ever order or drink for pleasure.

>>12779465
You just kidnapped that little baby. You monster

>>12779681
fair enough everyone has their own vices

>>12779611
>thats a fucking small americano
An americano is a watered down espresso, dum dum.

>>12779563

>>12779755
>water tastes like nothing
im not convinced. When i drink water it tastes different than when i am consuming nothing. Water tastes like water

>>12779563
I never really understood this one. They guy on the left seems like kind of a dick by pulling the, "no fun" card without any context, but otherwise it's just about some guy who doesn't like beer but drinks it anyway because most people likes beer. Those, "everyone is just pretending to like extremely popular thing [x]" anons aren't funny; they're just kind of annoying and a little pathetic. I mean, you don't have to like beer, but just fucking say you'd prefer wine or a cocktail or water or a fucking soda if that's what you prefer. The guy even says that in the comic. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it; can someone actually explain the joke here?

>>12779806
The joke is supposed to be that the author is le smart and le insightful and supposedly knows that people don't actually enjoy the taste of beer.
Truth is he's just a projecting faggot who hasn't been able to develop a taste for beer, which is admittedly an acquired taste. We give our kids way too sweet drinks and it takes some time to get the palate used to bitter taste like beer.
The xkcd guy is just such a repulsive smartass who likes to project his own faggotry. Like the one where the guy is in the subway thinking something to the tune of "all these people sitting around, if you would just wake up and THINK!" and everyone else is thinking the same. When in reality there would be literally one or two persons thinking something like that, and everyone else is thinking of normie shit like "hurr what should I post on insta today" or "I wonder what new song [shitty normie singer] has released" and stuff like that, ie NPC stuff.

>>12779806
>Maybe I'm just reading too much into it; can someone actually explain the joke here?
There is no joke, not all xkcd comics are meant to be funny.
This one is just the author being smug

>>12779298
I don't like Five Guys either but that's kinda funny, get the stick out of your ass mate

http://is2.4chan.org/gif/1565814204443.webm

>>12779863
On the internet birbs seem like a middle ground between cute and funny dogs and soulless disgusting cats, but in real life they're completely soulless and just scream all day and shit all over a cage you have to clean and there isn't even kitty litter there to mask the smell.

>>12779838
>>12779840
I've probably seen 100 comics by this guy, but don't pay attention to who makes them or have any idea where they're originally from. I probably just spend too much time here so am sick of the "everyone is just pretending to like it" meme, but it makes a lot more sense that there is no real joke and it's just meant to rile people up. I say "rile people up" as opposed to "provoke discussion", because you either identify with one guy or the other (I mean, obviously 9/10 people identify more with one of them), but he makes both of them look bad.

>>12779691
Yeah yeah. It was on the pavement in the same spot for 8 hours before I brought it in. It’s mother is a rodential whore.

>>12779863
Why not cross post? Do you not know how?
>>>/gif/

>>12779922
Why link to another thread when the webm is already embeded? Do you not use an extension?

>>12779655
People who don’t like bitter foods and drinks are basically children.

>>12779940
Mission Hill was terrible.

>>12779874
Check out this piece of shit who doesn’t care or have enough of a soul to learn how to interact with and love animals. Even dogs might as well be just performing automatons to you, right? It disgusts me that any human would be so heartless as to see sweet, loving animals like birds, cats and dogs the way you do.

>>12779922
It is better if all you want to share is the file and not the thread or post.

>>12779289
I will fuck those words out of your mouth

>>12779940
I thought this was dumb but then i got it and thought it was funny and then i realized it wasnt really funny.

>>12779977
I read your reply, looked at the comic, thought about it and figured it was some kind of meta commentary on the different art styles and being post-ironic about the current state of computer/flash animation. Then I read the other reply and remembered that it's a screen shot from Mission Hill and the joke was just that people used to call everything kafkaesque and the aspiring animator wasn't very funny or original. How did you read it?

>>12779405
>guy ordering water at a coffee house is overweight
Checks out.

>>12779608
Protestants should be crucified

>>12779245
So why doesn't he make something he wants to eat? Is he retarded? This reeks of being drawn by some virgin manchild that found "adulting" too difficult so he spends his time playing video games instead of learning how to cook and not be retarded.

>>12779261
I like to think he's going through a serious mid life crisis.

>>12780040
That comment just make me hunt you for years. Sleep save son

>>12779478
Thats a baby rat lmfao

>>12779405
Kek.

>>12779937
This.

>>12779456
based granny

shitty little kid BTFO lmao

>>12780036
>How did you read it?
im drunk and thought something was clever but then i realized im just drunk. Then i thought it would be clever to write something that someone thought was clever because they were drunk but you were apparently sober or just not dumb.
I may have made that all up. I dont remember what i was originally thinking.

This thread has really brought out the autism in you fags.

>>12779931
>using extensions
how's the botnet going?

>>12779540
based achewood poster

>>12779563
what a fag lol

>>12780082
I wouldn't be in a /ck/ humor thread if I was sober, anon.

>>12780095
Is there something wrong with 4chanX now?

>>12779755
Gimme Ice Mountain over that crummy Aquafina or Dasani any day

>>12779951
fuck youuuuu

>>12780118
kek. At least you're not dumb.
I've given myself a lot to think about.

>>12779556
based Prangu

>>12779465
A cookie

>>12779465
You should give it some milk with a dropper

>>12780172
Kek. It's not every day someone calls your drunk post using words like "meta" and "post-ironic" smart around here. I was actually in undergrad studying philosophy/literature/critical theory around the time MH was on AS, and used to watch it when I'd go home on breaks - and 15 years later spouting drunken opinions on the cooking board is the height of my daily intellectual stimulation. If there's anything you should learn from this interaction it's don't become a fucking alcoholic (and if you find a girl you're attracted to at all who's half-way decent in bed and most importantly shares your sense of humor, put a fucking ring on it because it likely wont come around again and you're not getting any younger).

>>12779465
Don't do this>>12780208
If necessary, until you buy the correct formula, for the first day you can give the baby dilute sugar water, made with 1 cup hot water ¾ teaspoon sugar, and ¼ teaspoon of salt. Stir until the sugar and salt are completely dissolved. Discard this solution after 8 hours because it can quickly grow bacteria.

>>12780236
Source: http://www.ratfanclub.org/orphans.html

>>12779298
>the crayon chad vs the pencil virgin

>>12780096

>>12779514
What the fuck am i reading

>>12779955
>Check out this piece of shit who doesn’t care or have enough of a soul to learn how to interact with and love animals. Even dogs might as well be just performing automatons to you, right? It disgusts me that any human would be so heartless as to see sweet, loving animals like birds, cats and dogs the way you do.

>>12780306
A parody

>>12779673
based except yeung rhymes with ling

>>12780236
Thanks buddy. I have an old eyedropper I can use.

>>12779208
>>12779405
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1IXyujNbVE

>>12780306
Drink water you lazy fuck

>>12779465
Update. I think he ate some goldfish. He isn’t really moving at all though. One eye is open and the other is closed.

>>12780384
poke its eye with a toothpick

>>12780384
hypodermic needle to eyeball

>>12780384
aww cute, be nice to it

>>12780384
It needs water too bro

>>12779465
aren't baby mice hairless?

>>12780428
He’s got a bottle cap filled with distilled water.

>>12780384
enjoy your Black Death from playing with weird rodents you find on the ground

>>12779289
pepsi wins sip tests because it's sweeter

but it's SO MUCH sweeter that it's not something you want to work through a case of

>>12780384
Give it water

>>12780434
People and animals can't drink distilled water retard we need the electrolytes in it to survive. That's probably why it isn't moving. Give it tap water.

>>12779540

>>12780384
Give him time to build up his energy. And for the love of god don't stab him in the eye like other anons suggested.

>>12779332
cum back is the only good line from that show

>>12780444
You should NEVER want to work through a case of soda you fucking lardass

>>12779298
They give you crayons to draw on index cards at Five Guys. Get out of the house once in a while, mate.

>>12780456
A comic that makes me feel bad

>>12780473
Used to be able to do it when I was younger. Now I can maybe finish 1 can, then chase it with 2 bottles of water. That shit just makes you so fucking thirsty. I don't remember ever having that issue as a kid.

Also, regarding coke vs. pepsi, I've always felt Coke is much better for pouring over crushed ice and sipping slowly (movie theater is a good example) and pepsi goes better with the very short list of foods that go with cola because it goes down smoother so it fills your thirst meter easier while eating.

>>12780473
What if it's diet soda?

>>12780442
Mice don't tend to carry disease

>>12780455
One bite of goldfish would provide all the electrolytes the mouse needs. Get fucked, gatorade shill.

>>12779261
>a dark room with the blinds drawn
If you want a dark room, you'd cover your windows with tinfoil. You'll want to thank me later.

>>12780455
Brawndo shill

>>12779505
LOL XDXDXDXDXD I JUST LITERALLY PEED MY PANTS JUST A LITTE THOUGH I MEAN ITS A LITTLE SPOT NOT LIKE IT RUINED MY CHAIR R NYTHING LOL BUT FOR REAL EPIC LULZ HIGH FIVES XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

>>12779896
The author is some STEM fella. He used to work for NASA and is probably a really smart guy. However, it's exactly the kind of smart that despite how good of a mathematician he might be it doesn't make his social commentary any more insightful.

>>12780384
Please crush it on some weights or stick it in a blender, make sure to record it and post it here afterwards.

>>12779361
I hate to be the guy who backs up a buzzword-spewing imbecile, but the Office and Parks are pretty damn reddit.

>>12779536
>egg
post egg

>>12780492
4 mcchickens
2 quarter pounders
2 large fries
and a diet coke

>>12779505
Haha! Where did you find this?
Mind if I save it?
-Bill

>>12779679
Me second from the left, but add jalapenos and onions.

>>12779540
This isn't funny. This is just sad.

>>12780658
I'm LMAOing @ ur mum's dementia

>>12780485
They give you crayons to draw on at most places if you're under the age of 8...

>>12779514
>grand theft agua

>>12780840
>average craft beer label
Nice job demonstrating why these threads are complete garbage. That pic has been reposted a million times and they actually changed their label because of how stupidly edgy and not average it was. Who even are you people? Is there like some zoomer app that aggregates all the best "memes" and puts them in a folder for you to dump once Summer rolls around?

>>12779563
try living in da souf for 3 days without developing an urge to down a case of bud lite to cool you off and make you forget about the miserable swamp you live in for a few minutes

>>12780384
Last update of the night. He’s a bit more lively and is interested in food and water.

>>12780384
Give it a small blanket

>>12779208

>>12779608
>>12780040
>>12780058
my mind is playing tricks on me again, this all feels esoteric

>>12780889
Hope you like rabies and aids because that thing will give you both

>>12779540
I like that /ck/ is for some reason the board most appreciative of Achewood.

>>12780894
That looks incredible

>>12780894
Thats more of a fucking feast than an english 5 course continental breakfast if you ask me.

>>12780825
Yeah I'm sure an 8 yo drew it, anon

>>12779405
A crummy glass of water?

>>12780889
He's cute, take care of him anon

>>12780889
Aw happy boy

>>12780938
I’d be more worried about what i’m going to give to the mouse, m8oh

>>12780864
Just leave 4channel LOL

>>12780995
Why would I leave? I'm not the one who goes back to school in a couple of weeks.

>>12781002
Because your brain is full of buzzwords and strawmen. You need a break LOL

>>12780889
thats very cute, hope you guys will become buddies, give him something to chew for his teeth, they need that otherwise they will chew everything

>>12779465
Pretend you're Nolan Ryan, and the mouse a ball.
Or curb stomp the little fucker.

>>12779321
Wrong :(

>>12779556
Wake up, Prangu...

Wake up... And smell.... the ashes (of your teachers fried brains)

>>12779755
>Aquafina? Fiji?
Question aimed at asking where he considers himself placed on the socioeconomic scale
>Uhh anythings fine.
An answer from someone ignorant of how poor someone can be, and how rich someone can be. Someone that takes things for granted. A sheltered manchilds answer. Uhhh, anythings fine. Am i rich? Am i poor? Where in society am I placed? Uhh. Whatever dude. Hu hu, check out my stick figure comics, bro. They really attack the airs people put on, bro. Like what? Its just water, right bro? But it speaks beyond water. Deeper than water, deep like the ocean lol. Try and think about it, man. It takes a while. What? Why dont I put more effort into my art? Uhh. Whatever. Anythings fine with me.

>>12781112
Didn’t Reddit completely turn on this comic because it turned out the author was a closet Trump supporter? Or something similar?

>>12780903
hey thats me

>>12780947
I remember reading this many years ago

It helped me resolve some issues I couldnt get over

>>12781122
Who cares about leddit.

This shit is funny

>>12781019
My wife is on a work trip and she would freak the FUCK out if she knew I had a mouse in her bag in the apartment. I have until saturday to get this mouse well enough to survive outside.

>>12780236
>sugar water
How did know it’s an American mouse?

>>12780889
He fat tho. Maybe take away some of that food.

>>12780384
Give it some Pepsi or something to rehydrate it

>>12779208
>no reference to pedophilia
>nobody gets killed
>no sex or drugs
The edge on this thing couldn't even cut through water. How is that humor?

>>12781304
Cringe but redpilled

>>12779261
Clearly just got home from work, undid the top button of his shirt, took his belt off and threw it on top of the nearest raised object, looked in the cupboard and fridge, found the most edible meal was cereal, decided he didn't have enough energy to shop, began to eat it, heard laughter, wondered if it was at him, walked to the window, discovered it was a loving family with a wife or teenage daughter who reminded him of a time when he had a heart, felt disgusted by himself and projected part of that hatred onto the family, and resumed eating his stale cheerios.

>>12781213
That's so sad. Mouse can be very sweet and awesome, almost like a pocket sized puppy. Wish the mouse all the best

What's his name btw

>2019
>There is no one left who remembers the food network hentai.

>>12779405
thats pretty funny ngl

>>12781213
Please give him some nuts if you will. That will fill him up for a longer trip on Saturday

>>12780889
>>>/an/ could probably help more than /ck/
>>12781288
It's baby weight

>>12779940
>>12779951
>>12780166
The animation is so ugly, really makes it hard to watch.

>>12780333
Ü my friend. Ü. And it is not about the rhyme. It is about yuengling being the direct translation of youngling. Even if that word is not really part of common vernacular.

didnt know /ck/ is hard/co/re before it was pozzed by trannies. also comic strips is the most patrician form of comics

>>12781083
bongo on, my dude

>>12779955
Dogs are marital aids that run on peanut butter. A renewable resource. And they are easy to recycle.

>>12781478
It wasn't. Originally it was rice cooker memes.

>>12779465
snuggy the micggy. sleep tight lil mousy

>>12781487
i meant /ck/ has good taste in comic strips like co back when i used to frequent that place

>>12779755
based aquaposter

>>12781213
>she would freak the FUCK out
Spare the belt, spoil the woman. Many such cases!

>>12781019
>>12781426
I was thinking the same, my suggestion if not is Mr. Fezziwig.

>>12779465
yum where’s patti?

>>12781213
Good women appreciate a man that cares for animals. Don't abandon the mouse, you already took responsibility for its survival.

>>12780947
it's partially because Chris is a food guy

>>12781351
I see.

>>12780864
>mad craft beer fag

>>12780894
Looks like a kids cuisine dumper on a plate

>>12779762
When you're consuming nothing you're tasting your own mouth and saliva.

>>12780492
>acid with artificial sweeteners
I'm not really convinced that's any better.

>>12780864
>they actually changed their label because of how stupidly edgy and not average it was
Lets see the new one

>>12780096
Fucking lol

>>12779248
t. freshman artfag

>>12781426
>Mouse can be very sweet and awesome, almost like a pocket sized puppy
Fuck off freak. Rodents are vile.

>>12779755
Confirmed for having never travelled. Bottled water is a meme (apart from shithole countries like the US where you can't get clean tap water) but water definitely tastes different based on the hardness of the water

>>12780518
Its got wut mice crave

>>12779540
im not reading all that

>>12781576
Lol it Only kills you if you're afraid of it. Just like asbestos

>>12780889
Hope he's doing alright. It's very kind of you to take in a vulnerable animal like that.

>>12780096
that caught me off guard
lol

>>12781865
I always see nonwhites with caddies full of packs of water whenever I pop down to the local lidl

>>12781890
Your loss, newb

>>12782091
unfunny wall of text from a guy with depression. this is the comic equivalence of nanette

>>12779234
My wife loves these comics, idk I just don't find them funny

I payed €14

>>12781865
>arguing with an xkcd edit

>>12781112
Lol reducto ad absurdum

>>12782264
That fat fuck actually has decent form.

>>12780894
you can tell that chocky milky is actually watered down garbage from the way the top layer is slumped into the cup and reflects more light at the edge
the cheap artificial coloring kind of gives it away too

>>12782223
Jesus Christ anon. For $10 I get two eggs over-easy, a big slice of ham, hash browns with onions, tomatoes, and mushrooms, biscuits with butter and jelly, and a glass of orange juice. Thank God for Waffle House.

>>12782091
Nah, it's really just terribly overwritten jokes coupled with poor art. There is nothing redeeming about it. One day you too may have good taste like me, but I doubt it.

>>12779556
>>12779552
>>12779530

I need to know if these were made unironically

>>12782308
Of course they were.

>>12779755
Can we work pokeman creatures into this somehow?

>>12779536

>>12780840
Assuming this beer is arrogant bastard ale, it is actually shit.

>>12782430
Arrogant Bastard is really good. This is some garbage from Scotland that copied their label.

>>12779208
The only time this happened to my was at my doctor's. He was probably very ist proud of his new coffee machine, I still think cup of coffee implies a black coffee.
Starbucks etc. just as me if I want an americano or filter coffee.

>>12779838
>xkcd is pretentious
>everyone is an npc

>>12779230
>American "coffee house"
>serving anything but shit flavored soymilk

>>12780889
Draw a warm bath for it in a small shallow tub then dry his little fuzz off with a cloth

>>12779608
I might not believe in God but this shit makes me glad to be Catholic. I'll take underage bumrape over this shit.