/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Kebab. Washed down with coke because alcohol is now banned.

>>12550256
buy good scotch you couldn't get a hold of elsewhere.

you should get the manakeesh with a side fattoush

>>12550259
only get the chicken
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1552482/Missing-girls-body-put-into-kebab.html

>>12550259
>2022
>shariah law in full effect
>can't buy a Guinness or eat sausage
>can blow an eight ball off your cousin and your second cousins asscrack because your married and it's not haram

>>12550256
Don't get black pudding from a shit cafe as it will be soggy and undercooked, ruining the flavour and texture making you think it's shit when it's actually amazing when you cook it properly.

>>12550256
fish and chips
meat pie

>>12550295
>>12550300
how long until pork is unironically banned

>>12550306
both of those are halal so its okay
no bacon in your pies tho
no pork pies either, and I'm not talking about fibs

Buy about half a dozen croissants from a supermarket, but when you get to the self-service checkout, just tell the machine it's one bread roll and you don't want to bag the item. Proper British grub that.

>>12550316
>no bacon in your pies tho
Why would anyone put bacon in a pie to begin with? You're just going to ruin the texture. No one thinks about the texture.

>>12550256
Get afternoon tea anon! If you are in London get it at Sketch.

American here who was spent a lot of time in the UK:

If you like salt and vinegar chips, try pickled onion monster munch (or basically any other pickled onion flavor snack)

As far as chocolate goes, Cadbury is an obvious go-to. I also love crunchie bars.

On a Sunday, stop by a local pub and have their Sunday roast. Always a tasty, hearty meal. Be weary, most pubs are being bought out by major chains. Try to find one that is independently owned and not some Greene king trash.

The cheapest way to get shitty in the UK is probably Crumpton Oaks Pear Cider? It was like £2 for a liter from what I recall. Doesn't taste too horrible either.

Other miscellaneous shit I enjoy: Cornish pastys, Scotch Eggs, Pimm's, Branston and Piccalilli pickle, White Stilton (Blue Stilton tastes like a rotting corpse), Bangers and Mash, Eton mess.

Fish and chips, like most popular memes, isn't all it is hyped up to be. Otherwise, the UK gets a bad rep despite having some pretty, hearty, unpretentious fare.

>>12550642
Ah how could I forget to mention this. Scones with clotted cream and cucumber sandwiches are great. Wish that was a tradition over on this side of the pond.

>>12550706
>Blue Stilton tastes like a rotting corpse
>t. baby-palated soda-addicted tastelet

>>12550716
Have you considered that he's right and you just enjoy the taste of rotting corpses?

>>12550708
I make those sort of things here in Miami. I needed a sharper knife for my cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches last week but still tasted good! Nice summer food.

>>12550716
I enjoy some of the more polarizing British foods, blue Stilton isn't one of them. I do not drink soda, but I'm struggling to find the dichotomy between a palate for sweetness and a palate for rot.

>>12550708
>>12550728
Also sometimes have an afternoon tea. Clotted cream is super easy to make (if you can find the right milk) and scones are nice and quick too. I prefer loose leaf tea but didn't have any that day.

>>12550256
Going for a nice traditional kebab or maybe change of pace and get a lamb vindaloo. Enjoy a nice time at the Mosque and then smoke shisha with the local populace.

You'll also be required to give 20 pound to every person you see for reparations and your white guilt.

>>12550794
Shut up, you tedious cunt.

>>12550256

Get scotch that you can't get back home, and get a bunch of scotch that you can get back home but for much cheaper.

>>12550794
Smoking shisha is fun tho. And vindaloo is proper good like

If you go london you have to go to a cheap chicken shop

>>12550256
Where in Bong are you going? If you leave London and head to the West Country (Cornwall, Devon, Dorset, Somerset, Gloucestershire) you have to put aside some time to try the local ciders.

>>12550485
>Why would anyone put bacon in a pie to begin with?

Chicken and Bacon, anon...

gin is going through a bit of a renaissance here, there are about 50,000,000 distilleries on every street at the moment
they are all gay meme shit like american craft brew so they would probably be right up your alley OP

>>12551014
I'll be in Derbyshire.

>>12550794
Fuck off /pol/.

>>12550706
>Eton mess
I love eton mess so fucking much.

>>12551430
pay toll.

>>12550316
>bacon in a pie

>>12550706
>pastys
*pasties

>>12551020
Doesn't sound terribly satisfying. I find mixing meats is generally a touch redundant, like more than one carb in a meal, IE, rice and potatos. There are exceptions of course.

>>12550256
Get a bottle of Bucky, the patrician's choice

>>12550706
You're alright, m8

Nitrus oxide and your own vomit.

>>12551409
>Derbyshire
Go up into the peak district and find yourself a small local pub. Try the local beers and stay away from ethnic food, no point going to an English pub to eat a curry or lasagne

>>12550256
Get one of each, wash it down with Bombardier

>>12550256
Get one of each, was it down with cider

>>12551674
Don't forget the Special Brew or Skol if you're going full tramp fuel

>>12551721
>scotch egg
>low tier

>>12551739

>>12550716
you realise that stilton and some other cheese contain putrescine and cadaverine, the very same chemicals which give rotting flesh their odour?
it's ok to admit that you like it, but if you deny it's presence you're either a retard or a massive larpfag

>>12551752
>putrescine and cadaverine

You made those up

>>12551749
poor lad

>>12550728
Cucumber sandwiches are one of the most delightful things I've ever eaten. Elegant in their simplicity, and, as you say, great in the summer.

>>12551760
>cadaverine
Not him, but those are real things, found in a lot of stuff that's fermented.

>>12550256
>snacks

Get on that Bombay Mix laddo

>>12550706
>>12550716
It's weird, I love blue cheese most of the time but that dude is definitely right. There is something horribly off about it that just nauseates me sometimes. Just depends how settled my stomach is and what mood I'm in that day. Kinda the same with coriander, I can taste the soapy bitterness that some people taste, most of the time I enjoy it anyway and sometimes I don't.

>>12551721
I think Scotch Egg and Cornish Pasty deserve a couple of notches higher.

>>12551721
>Haggis in crap tier

Truly no accounting for taste

>>12550889
If he has the time, it's perfectly possible to go and visit the distilleries where it's made. The vast majority of them in the Highlands and Islands will welcome visitors, and they sometime have items for sale in their distilery shop that they don't sell anywhere else.
t. someone who used to live in Tomatin

>>12551739
I think scotch eggs and pork pies are so low because most people experience the horrible cheapo ones you get in supermarkets.

Kippers and black pudding I'm putting down to being "dad foods" and therefore poorly cooked and overenthusiastically hyped.

>>12551855
That must be it, I love scotch eggs but wouldn't go near one in a supermarket. Gotta get them at a restaurant that took some care in making them, or at home.

>women gets acid attacked
>let her face melt as you stop to call the police
>after a few minutes of talking, you finally help her
What a fucking nightmare the police state has become in Britain.

>>12551935
its not an ordered list you utter brainlet

>>12551935
How is informing the coppers about acid attacks the making the UK a "police state"? I swear every other skinny white nerd thinks they're Britain's answer to Rodney King or something.

>>12551965
the top down lay out of that poster implies reporting an assault before giving first aid

>>12551996
Perhaps, but you aren't just telling the police, are you? It'll be the paramedics and if you call an ambulance your call handler will be talking you through the first aid. You can be on the phone and do other things, like, for instance, washing hydrochloric acid off of someone's face and chest.

>>12551996
>anyone, w/o training, can give first aid for facial acid burns
You'd do far more harm than good, idiot.