/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Why did you burn it?

Ricotta or bechamel? There is only one right answer.

>>12142203
It’s not burned, I used the ‘dark golden brown’ filter in photoshop

>>12142203
For the vans deferens effect

>>12142202
How did Garfield like it?

>>12142203
>Why did you burn it?
i'm guessing he used the dry lasagna sheets instead of using homemade.

>>12142210
Unironically, carbonara sauce.
Don’t judge me.

>>12142216
It’s not actually burned. Should I cut it and take a photo?

>>12142217
>carbonara sauce.
>Don’t judge me.
That's pretty funny, i'm leaving this with a smile on my face, you silly goose.

how many layers are in that crispy badboy?

>>12142224
I like you, anon.
I’m actually a chef so sauces are pretty easy for me, even if they’re a mystery to my wife.
>>12142225
Umm, I think five or six? I’ve been drinking home made booze for six hours so I could be wrong.

It’s pretty tasty.

Tastes good too, going to have some dinner now. Go back to your McMeme threads. Cheers!

>>12142216
A fucking 13 year old trying to criticize someone for not making their own fresh pasta. I bet your guardians don't even let you use the microwave without supervision (we all know that your real parents ditched you 12 years ago).

>>12142254
Bet you burn your lasagna, too. Or does it come out of a "lean cuisine" box with microwave instructions?

>>12142260
Shit, you're right. I guess I need to go buy a pasta roller and start making my own pasta to keep from getting a slightly dark color on my lasagna.

>>12142254
>>12142260
Gentlemen, the lasagna was not burned. I would normally use a bechamel to top, but this was topped with carbonara and shredded cheese.
I assure you both it’s delicious.

>>12142270
You don't need a pasta maker for lasagna sheets. Those just make it easier to cut it into shapes. A rolling pin is quicker and easier if you're just making lasagna sheets.

>>12142216
You realize you can burn homemade lasagna too right numbnuts?

>>12142216
>top pasta with sauce
>if lasagne burns, must be because of the pasta not the sauce or the temp control
Troll elsewhere, child.

>>12142252
Kekked.
Thanks for the laughs, OP.
Matty Matheson would be proud.

>>12142273
Let's just be thankful that OP is enjoying his lasagner while trolls are proclaiming that everything that isn't made fresh is bad.

looks good OP :) hope you had a lovely dinner

>>12142308
He's not even married, the loser.

>>12142316
This isn't 1950 anymore. Marriage is just a way for women to get more than half your shit.

>>12142326
Only America handles divorce like it was 1950. The rest of the world now treats women as humans capable of earning their own income.

>>12142332
You've got a point there, but not really. You can't speak for the rest of the world, because you only live in one country.

>>12142316
Firstly, yes I am.
Secondly, what difference does it make?

Here’s my awesome carbono-lasagne chilling in the fridge. You may note that there is a pot of ‘Activia’ yoghurt in the fridge: as no man has ever eaten Activia, this proves the presence of a ‘split-tail’ or ‘front-bum’ within my household.

>>12142368
He's just an angsty 13 year old who has never spoken to a girl. Just enjoy your lasasanyer and know that he's eating chicken nuggers from mcdonalds that his foster parents bought him.

>>12142382
100% verified married man right there.

>>12142384
Do you honestly think anyone would foster him? I’m assuming he’s posting from a basement while his mother sucks off niggers for menthols upstairs.
He looks forward to the day she gets the power back on so he can find out what cooked ramen tastes like.

>>12142222
BASED AND CHECK’d

>>12142382
Fucking hell. Also Australian. It gets worse every post.

>>12142252
wtf man get a plate

>>12142392
I'd like you march you into my bedroom, naked as the day you were born. I promise that the severe rash in my groin area severely reduced itself in a matter of hours after washing it.

>>12142415
I have a groin rash of my own, let’s rub them together anon.

>>12142415
I'll be honest though, it still stinks pretty bad. I haven't taken a shower since early February.

>>12142430
Your's isn't bright red and looking like it's about to bleed. And yes, I stared at your go-nads long enough to compare them.

>>12142441
Fungal and bacterial infections are different, I can assure you that mine itches like a patch of maggots has burrowed under my skin, and smells like rotting plums.

>>12142430
Jock itch right there. get some broad spectrum antifungal and kill that shit. then wash all your clothes and bed linen and towels in a dose of the good stuff. I had it bad once, itches like fuck

>>12142458
Well mine didn't itch until one morning it wouldn't stop, and then I took off my britches, and noticed a 2" wide red mark in the V of my crotch on both sides. I then washed it with some irish spring and in less than 8 hours, almost all the redness was gone. Maybe you should try some Irish spring original bath bars.

Also, I will never eat lasagna again without thinking of crotch rott.

>>12142202
Why won't you just admit you burned it?

>>12142484
It's not burned. it's cooked properly.

>>12142484
Burned = black (carbonised).
This is just caramelised.
>>12142473
I have been using canesten and daktarin, but I’m fat so I sweat a lot. Plus I brew a lot of beer wine and saké so there’s a lot of environmental mold and fungus.

>>12142458
Bet it smells like incel.

>>12142498
I believe incel is quite similar, but with a spoiled milk undertone.

>>12142506
I like you a lot, I'd like to spread ointment on eachothers groins.

>>12142202
It looks like you would have done better by getting one these Stouffer's lasagnas.
You can tell that I'm am American because I'll heat one of these baby's up for a late night snack before a real meal.

>>12142202
For me? It's lasagna with meatballs

>>12142254
Who the fuck wants to make their own pasta when I can buy it and not muck up my kitchen or have to clean it up, some of us work for a living and don't have maids to clean up after us and butlers to serve us.

>>12142524
those are some uneven looking layers

>>12142332
Yeah, right. Try that shit south of border and come back with your breaking news report. Who the fuck are you, hanoi jane?

>>12142392
Don't forget the meth and crack rocks.

>>12142415
There's a cure for syphilis these days, don't go around mad apparently like Henry VIII did.

>>12142529
You're like 2 hours too late you fucking 11 year old.

>>12142524
You're mum enjoyed my hairy meatballs last night if you know what I mean.

>>12142551
Fuck off, non-cooking troll.

>>12142549
nice response fagboi

>>12142552
Cooking has nothing to do with making pasta, that's not cooking that's more baking or something.

>>12142554
Go reply to a 9/11 thread thinking that anyone's gonna care about your 11 year old opinion, faggot ass bitch.

>>12142557
Alright. Cooking and pasta aren't related. Thank fuck for that. Now I can just use fettuccine when I'm making lasagner

>>12142551
What an original jest. It’s not like someone doesn’t post exactly this ‘joke’ in literally every single thread on /ck/.

>>12142549
You will pay for this...and you will pay for this soon

>>12142564
I'm sure I'll pay for it tomorrow afternoon when I squirt 2 gallons of brown liquid out of my ass.

>>12142202
Not bad, too much onions for my liking though.

>>12142572
that is very unsettling.

>>12142202
Looks good. Oh wait. Looks good?

>>12142558
Where'd that come from? It seems like you make shit up like your idol clinton and CNN and MSNBC, proven liars. What does any of this have to do with 9/11. I give you credit on this, you're more pathetic than it first appeared.

>>12142562
I never wrote that they're not related eventually one will cook the noodles or pasta, but making those is not cooking which is that other moron was asserting.

>>12142563
It's still funny though.

>>12142558
>>12142586
You’re both just cranky because you don’t have enough lasagne.

>>12142564
Why not declare, "You evildoers, you'll rue the day when you crossed me!" I'm sure some English major might correct me on that.

>>12142592
I'm making chili right now, hours of work involved so the best kind, made with love. So can't do lasagne at the same time, but I no problem putting some chili on lasagne if I have both around.

>>12142202
I’m sorry some autists are sperging your thread down the shitter. Looks like a decent lasagne. Wouldeat/10

>>12142591
Humour is best when a witty turn of phrase juxtaposes ill-fitting concepts in an unexpected way. ‘Yo Mama’ jokes belong firmly in the realm of twelve year olds, niggers, and female ‘comedians’.

>>12142603
It's just constructive critisism what else can be expected, every anon saying that it doesn't looked burnt and clapping like monkeys from some facebook or myspace account? This is 4ch, deal with it, don't come here with a thin skin.

>>12142602
Got photos? I’d like to see them.
>>12142603
Anyone who frequents /ck/ in the belief they won’t have to deal with /b/ tier preteen fuckwits is either the world’s stupidest optimist or a genuine imbecile.

>>12142604
That's your opinion and sometimes it's right, but I like my own humor you fucking brit, if left to your own devices you brits would all be skeletons now.

Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two fiddy, eh!
~~diceman~~

Now go back into your little sitting room and drink some tea with your little pinky sticking out you pathetic brit.

>>12142612
No there's nothing exiciting about making chili, it's yet another batch I do from time to time, nothing picture worthy.

>>12142612
Imagine calling someone an imbecile for complimenting your lasagne. What a clown.

>>12142613
B O O M E R

>>12142613
Why would a Brit be making lasagne at 11am in the morning?
You must have missed the part where I was identified as an Aussie about an hour ago.
>I like my own humor
Bet you laugh out loud in public at your own jokes too, you pathetic teenage loser.

>>12142617
I wasn’t calling that poster an imbecile, I was observing that dealing with imbeciles was part and parcel of posting on /ck/.
Pic unrelated, Irish Stew.

>>12142622
My first thought is that it's because they got moved out of their jobs by not sucking up to enough muslims.

>>12142622
I'm a madman aren't I? But I make more money in my sleep than you do awake. How's that merkel control going for you?

>>12142625
That looks pretty good, I'd love to try that out.

>>12142246
>cutting the lasagna out of a metal pan with a chefs knife
Your knife edge is now totally fucked.
>op confirmed braindead womyn

I just ate half of a delicious Tony's pizza, and now I'm gonna scrub down my go-nads( since I had severe diarrhea cramping) I'm gonna try to make this a regular thing.

>>12142639
It was pretty good. Posted a thread about it a few weeks back, but most people seemed to think it was going to be about the Irish Stew copypasta.
>>12142638
Once again, Australian, not European. Please brush up on your reading comprehension.

Pic: some marinated quail salad I made to introduce my wife to quail (she didn’t like it).

>>12142618
Maybe but then again, maybe not.
Keep seething you shillary supporter.

>>12142665
Now with the quail added, goddamn thumbnails.

>non alcoholic beer
kek fuck off you stupid name faggot

Proof I’m Australian (only fellow Ausfags will get this).

>>12142202
Looks really good.

>>12142673
Make me, tough guy.

>>12142254
Why would a literal 13 year old know about self made lasagna sheets?

You need to seriousy get the sand out of your dilated flesh wound before your bless other people with your verbal diarreah.

>>12142202
hand it over Jon

Standard breakfast, look good?

>>12142549
You are still here, so ...

>>12142558
Look at this triggered discord tranny.

>>12142694
I’m thinking ‘faggot ass bitch’ indicates either a negro, or someone who thinks that negroes are tough and wants to borrow some of that ‘toughness’ by appropriating their street language.
Either way, what a loser.

>>12142660
Um, I have a whetstone, sweetie. And that’s my beater knife, not my hand-forged two birrion rayer grorious Nippon steel. Pic related.

>>12142691
2/10 bacon doesn't look crispy enough

>>12142719
That was nitrite-free, free-range Berkshire bacon from rural Tasmania. You cook it till it’s light golden brown and a little crisp, not till it’s crunchy.

>>12142731
Oh God you sound like someone who's desperate for a punch in the face. Tell me your favorite drink.

>>12142735
Home-brewed beer.

>>12142735
From another thread a day or so ago, raspberry cider, rauchbier and golden ale.

>>12142752
I hope you have a wooden stein to drink it from. Comfiest way to enjoy beer.

>>12142771
I have a one-litre glass beer stein. I did contact a local woodworker who turns wooden goblets and tried to get him to make a birchwood stein, but he wasn’t interested. I’ve also contacted a local cooper to make a birchwood barrel to age my vodka but he wasn’t keen. Dunno why so many people hereabouts aren’t interested in making money.
Here’s a curry I made last winter. I like slow cookers, in case you hadn’t noticed.

>>12142681
i would but unfortunately it seems you're determined to spread reddit faggotry across the board so have fun with that

>big pasta trying to shill dry lasagay sheets
shoo shoo

>>12142802
You’re that whiny little bitch from the pork rib roast thread aren’t you? I can practically smell your zit cream and unwashed masturbation tube socks through the internet.

>>12142536
im pretty sure divorce laws in belgium are not as archaic as those in america

>>12142834
that was so random and funny! thanks reddit

>>12142254
No, you're an idiot that doesn't realize that 9/10 lasagna fails are by people that follow recipes, that use dry lasagna shells, but top their lasagnas with cheese and bake it for the entire duration it takes to soften dry lasagna sheets.

You're a special kind of fucking dumb if you don't know what i'm referring to

>>12142277
>You realize you can burn homemade lasagna too right numbnuts?
Yeah, you can burn microwaved KD also, whats your fucking point

>>12142837
>throws out the reddit insult again
What’s your life like, being lonely, unloved, and too inconsequential to offend anyone with even your best attempts at trolling?
What a sad little kid you must be.

>>12142286
>>if lasagne burns, must be because of the pasta
Seriously.. what?

>>12142529
>Who the fuck wants to make their own pasta
Cooking enthusiasts, isn't there a mcdonalds thread you should be posting in?

>>12142845
Try reading the whole sentence, then putting the words together in your inside-head-voice. If you don’t work it out the first couple of times you try, let me know, and I’ll try to dumb it down for you.

>>12142844
/ck/
Food & Cooking

>>12142851
Yeah, I read your mind garble post, you fucking nigger. If you top your lasagne with sauce and it burns, it's because you added a shit load of cheese on top and baked the whole fucking thing for the entire duration it takes to cook dry god damn noodles. You fucking faggot

>>12142882
You mad, amigo? Don’t burst a blood vessel now.

>>12142384
Do you have some sort of mental illness?

I'm crying *in spaghetti language*

>>12142847
>he doesn't buy fast food and disguise it as his own cooking

Good night anons, it’s 11:45pm here and I have to get up early to resume shitposting. Thanks for a pretty good thread.

>>12143079
I went to sleep and woke up again in the time since you started.

>>12142246
>Swedish posters
God damn!

>>12142660
Oh no not his $4 Walmart knife! He couldn't possibly have more than 1 knife!

Yay! I’m awake again!

>>12142273
>carbonara sauce
egg yolk and parmesan?

>>12142843
read the post I was replying to, dipshit

>>12142524
>>12142551
Lol

>>12142671
looks bangin
would eat

>>12142252
>>12142246
>>12142202
where's the cheese?

>>12144854
Among other things, yes.

>>12145154
pepper, pasta water and nothing else I assume

>>12142202
jeezy in your lasagna

>>12142203
Its not burnt is just deeply caramelized hahaha

>>12145277
Holy shit, dubs too.

>>12145261
There’s some cream, bacon and cheese involved as well. Don’t judge me.

>>12145409
Don't feel bad OP, I think your lasagne looked pretty good.

>>12145601
I’m just amused by how me posting a couple of lasagne photos can instantly devolve into a snarling cat fight.

>>12142202
>>12145277
it looks like fried, hardened, cheese and tomato pudding what have you done

>>12142382
>Activia yoghurt
You mean Jalna? It's delicious.

>>12142674
>only fellow Ausfags will get this
Vegemite being popular in the deeown anda has been well known outside of 'straya since the 80's thanks to Men at Work

>>12147233
I have made a monster, apparently.

>>12147331
No mang, the little plastic green pot of Activia. That’s my wife’s. The Jalna is mine because it’s a sexy fucking yoghurt.

>>12147351
Australians tend to like either vegemite OR promite. To the point that families are torn apart by the differences. This is promite on a vegemite bagel, intended to trigger both vegfags and promfags.

are you a dragon?

>>12142382
>vanilla flavored mayo on the top right
what the actual fuck?

>>12149217
I would also like to know what’s up with the vanilla mayonnaise

>>12149217
it's fucking yogurt you knob

>>12142551
based

>>12142210
Cottage cheese (ATK gang)

>>12142210
Obviously bechamel.

Ultimately, just top your lasagne with whatever you want. There’s no right way or wrong way as long as you and your family enjoy what you make!

im jobless hopeless hungry & broke can you send me anything to get breakfast in the morning?

hdsextoon@gmail.com

>>12142639
warosu.org/ck/thread/S11978129 if you want to read a non-shitpost thread on Irish Stew.

>>12145409
>cream
So you didn't use carbonara sauce

>>12153239
I SPECIFICALLY asked not to be judged.

>>12142430
The absolute state of American hygiene........

>>12142522
> He merely heats up processed food
> Tells someone who actually COOKED something they could do better, by merely heating up rubbish.
>Fucking millenials.......

>>12153453
You can't beat the perfection that a factory is capable off, especially at such low costs.

>>12153442
But I’m Australian, Anon.

>>12153537
You can’t get Stuffer’s products in Australia. Anyway, that lasagne cost about $20 and made eight serves at (I’d guess) about 6-7 pounds total weight. Not bad, in my opinion.

>>12142844
cope

>>12142210
There are "people" that don't use bechamel?

>>12153537
Everyone can beat a factory, because they aren't limited to lowest-common-denominator shit-tier industrial ingredients. They can also beat it because they can cook it to order, instead of reheating it.

Price is the only thing industrial food has going for it.

>>12154344
>Price is the only thing industrial food has going for it.
That and convenience.

>>12142202
looks disgusting
2/10

>>12156127
I said 'ask me anything' not 'give me feedback'. You're silly! Have a cat.

>>12142202
Looks like you fucked it up a little. not enough to scrap the whole thing but next time watch that shit, cheese is expensive in Canada

>>12142202
>it's another fat spinster spams /ck/ with her revolting cooking

Learn to cook something decent and you might actually trick a guy into marrying you, sugar tits.

Better than yours

>>12157736
I'm a married man and my cooking's actually pretty tasty, what with me having worked as a chef for ten years.
>>12157896
Certainly looks moister, in a conventional way.

This is the best thread this board has had in half a decade.

>>12158017
Thanks man.

>>12142210
I used bechamel sauce for the first time after making lasagna with ricotta for most of my life.
Life changing.

>>12154482
And consistent top quality every time.

>>12158999
You’re a fan of Findus horse meat lasagne then I take it.

>>12159109
>implying you can even tell the difference
>implying horse meat isn't healthier than beef anyway