/ck/ - Food & Cooking

don't eat cats, you sick fuck.

>>11919365
Cut it's head off
Post pics afterwards so we can see how you did

>>11919370
chef friend says not only is it good tasting but very healthy indeed
also I can catch and eat for free

I will fucking pay anyone to edit this meat into this hand

>>11919370
don't eat sick cats you've fucked

>>11919375
BUT YOU'RE JUST KILLING A DINOSAUR

WHY WOULD YOU KILL A DINOSAUR

>>11919379
I've heard of people raising their own chicken and it tasting like shit.

Remember the guy who literaly farmed every ingredient in his sandwich? It tasted awful all around.

>>11919365
Just slit it's throat or chop it's head off, let the blood drain out, chop the feet off, then take out the innards.

>>11919402
i wont be eating it myself maybe

>>11919365
Hold it's neck like you hold a steering wheel and do a motion like your snapping a twig.

>>11919398
Apparently that was a big thing around 65 million years ago.

>>11919383

Wring neck
Hang by feet
Cut throat and let blood drain
Before this has started get a very big pot and fill it with water, get that going at a boil, but not so hot it cooks the chicken itself
When chicken has bled, scald in the water to aid in plucking
Cut off feet and neck
Open cavity near the end DO NOT cut right down the chest and remove guts. Be careful to not nick or burst the bile sack. At some point in the process you may need to find and empty the crop if the bird wasn’t fasted before slaughter

From there you’ll be good for preparation

>>11919501
Thanks, this can work for others also?

>>11919513
Others?

>>11919593
Auto correct. I meant Otters.

>>11919593
Other animal

>>11919616
It gets trickier with other animals

For example I’d suggest using the broomstick method for rabbits, who have to be skinned, for which scalding is not helpful. Pigs like other livestock are much larger and should be stunned with a bolt gun before their throats are cut (or just shoot them with an actual gun) and need to have their hair dealt with, which some people tackle with blowtorches and scrapers

Small stuff is simple enough, and there’s plenty of videos online giving demonstrations, but the scale and finesse needed for some creatures means unless you’re well determined, equipped, and learned, you might be best taking some animals in for professionals to handle

What other animals did you have in mind when you asked?

>>11919446
hold it with one hand, the body closest to the index finger and thumb. hold tight and make three or four fast circular motions. if you do it right the neck will pull apart from the body and after a few seconds of wing flapping and leg kicking it will stop.

>>11919402
>It tasted awful all around
how come?

>>11919513
look up "scottreaproject" on youtube, great butchering videos of any and all animals you can think of, also a ton of info about sausage making etc

That guy is hilarious, he really loves his job. One gets the impression he would be cutting up animals 24/7 if he didnt have to sleep.

>>11919781
Wish he'd do a vid on goats

>>11919781
Scott Rea is meat kino. I love the guy.

>>11919853
He probably would if you asked.

Just start cooking it while it's alive, why bother killing it?

>>11920063
sub-saharan african/chinese bugman tier

>>11920145
Found the racially insensitive wh*teoid.

>>11919777
So it turns out that it takes centuries of people knowing what they're doing to make good bread. Farming your own wheat and milling it yourself results in shitty tasting medieval-dark-ages era bread that looks as depressing as it tastes. Look the video up on jewtube. He ends up hating what he made.

The same thing was true of all the other ingredients: the chicken he sacrificed tasted weird, the veggies like the lettuce and tomato were bland. It was nothing like what he was used to at the supermarket.

Proof that you have to be more than just a hipster farmer to make good tasting food.

>>11920588
>. It was nothing like what he was used to at the supermarket.
Sounds like he was used to eating shitty industrial food.

The stuff was probably fantastic, it just didn't suit his McDonald's and Walmart palate.

i think cats dont have feathers

>>11919375
this kills the chicken

>>11920588
Sounds like his shilling worked just fine on you.
>don't grow your own, goy!
>buy it at the store, is much better!

Chickens are failr easy.

Just twist and pull its head off. Or chop the head off. Then you gotta de feather it. Just pluck all the feathers out. The next part is tricky. You now need to make a circular incision around the chickens asshole. Be careful not to cut too deep or you risk puncturing the guts. But once you have your incision, you stick your fingers in and scoop out the guts, making sure not to puncture them!. Once all the guts are out, Wash and rinse the bird and you are done.

>>11920588
He was actually just terrible at cooking though. He didn't taste his ingredients to see how to prepare them and for some reason didn't take milling the wheat seriously. He was motivated enough to do the project, sure, but he lacked competency at almost every step that someone even a little interested in food would not.

>>11920701
what'd he do with the milling?

>>11920759
He attempted to separate wheat from chaff with a $10 standing fan and only blended the wheat. A more low tech invention, a long rock and a bowl made of rock wouldve got a finer grind

>>11922850
Clearly he needed to use a weed eater

>>11920588
What the fuck? I've never raised a single tomato that didn't taste better than store bought

I've heard old women took rolling pins or dowels or similar, press it against their neck and push them into the ground, and then hit the pin. Should snap their neck. If it doesn't wring it with your hand to strangle it, I guess.

>>11919446
>Hold it's neck like you hold a steering wheel
what?!

A long time ago I read about a chicken killing method that went like this: You put the chicken on it's back, so its head iy laying on some piece of wood or your chopping block and then you take a very thin and sharp knife, like a stiletto, and ram it right into their brains from below. Allegedly that works so quickly that they dont flutter and beat their wings at all, and it relaxes their muscles so much that plucking the feathers is hardly any effort at all. Just some shit I read a lonng while ago, maybe some anon can try it out and confirm.

>>11923890
btw by "below" I meant through where the neck/throat would be on a human. So if the chicken is laying on its back you would be going at it like you do with an ice pick.

>>11919365
Hold it by the body tightly with your non dominant arm, hold its head to a block of wood then use a sharp axe with your dominant hand to lop its head off, keep holding it tightly because it will start involuntarily flapping, hang it up by its legs to let some of the blood drain, get some boiled water in a pot big enough to fit the chicken and dunk it by the legs for 60 seconds to scald it to make plucking easier, then watch a youtube video on how to gut it.

>>11919365
here
watch this vid
https://youtu.be/99nspRiav-A

>>11919365
My mother told me that you should twist her neck and to get rid of the feathers and stuff you should put the dead chicken in hot water and they will come off like nothing

>>11919365
It's like rabbit

>>11919365
>>11919375
That's it, I'm going vegan. The poor chicken deserves to live, it shouldn't die just so I can eat chicken nuggies. Killing is wrong. Meat is wrong.

>>11919365
Why are you eating the hen instead of using it for eggs? You can always eat the hen when it gets too old for laying.

>>11920588
Obviously you've never grown or made any of your own food

i'm just adding to everyones post
choppimg its head off is messy and blood gets everywhere
you wanna snap its neck but not too hard since their neck is quite fragile and if tou pull too hard you might just pop its head

hold by the legs and pull gently yet firmly THEN when the spasms have moatly stopped do an incision down ita neck and hold it upside down

boil water before hand

cut the fat from the posterior cavity and remove all the guts with your hand

thats pretty much it

>>11925303
Who’s to say it’s not too old for laying already?

>>11925402
ohhh also keep the fat of the butt and render it in a pan

>>11919365
Huh huh huh huh... hey Beavis, that dude's gonna choke his chicken...

>>11925431
Huh huh huh.. This board sucks

>>11925402
or, you can just let the blood out by making an incision on it's neck

>>11925402
>>11925402
>you wanna snap its neck but not too hard since their neck is quite fragile and if tou pull too hard you might just pop its head

Its not so easy for an first timer. I takes some practice. If you're doing this at home, in your kitchen, I highly advise against trying to pop the neck. If you pull on the neck, and you fail to pop it, chances are the chicken will shit everywhere. Easier to slit the neck over the sink and let the blood flow.

>>11919375
Those look like felco pruners

>>11925342
no because I'm not an autist.

>>11919365
Just do what these guys did:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFW5gPlSJcE

>>11925536
Fuck off dude, it was funny. Go play internet police somewhere else.

My uncle would just twist the neck like spinning it or let it run around headless.

>>11925536

just buy a fucking dead chicken why would you WANT to kill one

>>11927134
>t_d tard giving directions to reddit
The ironing.

>>11927160
guaranteed fresh

>>11925536
How long did it take you to come to that conclusion?

>>11927160
Because it's there.

>>11922850
You mean a pestle and mortar.

Break it’s neck it’s super easy. Used to slaughter chickens with mom back in Mexico when wed visit.

Grab the neck like y grab ur dick to jerk off with ur entire hand. Shake it super rough until u hear a crack, shaking it back and fourth, literally any direction once u hear the crack once u hear it u good . Kill it’s then boil it to get feathers off. Boil enough to remove feathers manuall by hand, boil until it’s pretty easy to do so.

Then cook chicken in oven while smothers in olive oil garlic salt and spices. Cook at 360 for like an hour and cut after the hour to make sure it’s cooked thru

Gg and gl

when i was young i just shot the bird. dunno why grandma got so pissed, dead is dead.

my chicken died today. i wrapped it in a towel and put in a sack, grabbed a shovel and walked to the woods to bury it. i spoke a few words with my led light flashing on it and the put the dirt back over it and stuck a little fern on top of the mound

>>11919398
Don’t chop the dinosaur daddy

>>11928188
It’s a waste of a bullet you fag

And if you’re using shot you’ll have pellets to dig out

>>11919365
>Easy mode:
Chop head off
Skin it. Start with small cut between body and thighs
Gut it

>Hard mode:
Wring it's neck
Pluck it
Gut it via the cloaca

>God mode:
Stare it to deart
Will it into a spicy curry with peas and whole grain rice

>>11928317
I have two coops. One for laying hens one for retired hens. Let them live out their lives after a full career of egg laying.

My rabbitry on the other hand..