/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11872333

Toasted onion bagel, generous amount of herb cream cheese and smoked salmon, red onion, dill, capers, lots of cracked pepper.

>>11872333
Vodka, klonopin, cold pizza.

>>11872333
omelette with sauteed onions, peppers and feta cheese.

>>11872333
the asshole of that girl
>>11872341
based
>>11872347
cringe

>>11872333

I just finished eating my favorite breakfast. Consisted of a 3 egg omelette with cheddar and parmesan cheese, hashbrowns, 4 strips bacon, 4 sausages, tin of baked beans in tomato sauce, 2 slices melted cheese on toast, 3 pancakes with syrup and a pecan waffle. Cup of coffee 3 packets of sugar and 2 cups cream, orange juice. I'm stuffed but will eat more today.

>>11872342

At least throw the pizza on a pan to crisp it up

>>11872347

Hmm. You need herbs like parsely or chervil and also some mushrooms. Do you understand me?

Whatever is edible in my fridge followed by 5 minutes of screaming into a pillow.

>>11872362
No. You need to speak English so I can understand you.

>>11872351
>consuming 5000 calories for breakfast
Nice bulk, fat fuck

>>11872351

Fatty detected. Be honest you disgusting mass of flesh. What is the most amount of food you have consumed in a day?

>>11872333
Licking apricot marmalade off the girl's feet.

>>11872377

Oh god let me think. Was probably a month ago? My day looked like this

>Breakfast

3 egg omelette with cheddar cheese, 5 strips bacon, 5 sausages, 2 slices of melted cheese on buttered toast, 3 pancakes with syrup, a pecan waffle, and ham and cheese crossiant. Tea and orange juice.

>Lunch

2 double bacon cheese burgers, large order of fries, silver takeout dish of macaroni and cheese with garlic bread, 5 chicken strips and fries with honey mustard, grilled ham and cheese with a bowl of canned tomato soup

Then I snacked on a bag of doritos, snuders honey mustard and onion pretzel pieces, and chocolate almonds throughout the afternoon.

>Dinner

Large dominoes pizza with pepperoni, sausage, ham, jalapenos, double cheese and ranch sauce. 12 wings, cheese garlic bread, potato wedges, chicken alfredo and garlic bread, 2 beef tacos, a bacon blue cheese burger with onion rings, butter chicken with rice and naan.

>Dessert

Entire chocolate new york cheese cake (ate about 70% of it) with a pint of ben and jerrys Rocky road and 10 oreo cookies, 1 snickers bar and a kinder surprise egg

I also drank a lot of vodka. I threw up a few times, felt miserable. Even when I was full I just kept eating. There was food in my mouth nearly constantly throughout the day. I binge watched LOTR while eating too and was constantly eating.

>>11872370

I already eat 5x the portion on a regular basis. I eat large pizzas almost daily too and baked spaghetti or lasagna/chicken alfredo is a staple for me. I honestly have nothing to live for anymore and I just want to die asap but too cowardly to kill myself. I've been binging anywhere from 4000-10,000 calories daily for the past 3ish months and have already gained 80 lbs.

>>11872392
what the fuck is your problem

>>11872394
Wouldn't it be a better idea to starve to death instead? It'd save your relatives money on the coffin at least.

Hot nigger jizz dripping from your gf

t. 18 year old boomer incel

>>11872394
how about you stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it

>>11872400

Depression, severe depression. I have nothing to live for anymore.

>>11872402

I want to be cremated and have my ashed scattered into the beautiful Pacific ocean.

>>11872413

Fuck you you don't know what I've been through

>>11872415
/an/ here, you realise the ocean is full of fish piss, right?

>>11872422

Yes

>>11872415
>Depression, severe depression. I have nothing to live for anymore.
With the myriad of things life has to offer in mind, I blame you and only you for your situation. There simply is no situation other than dying where killing yourself is the only choice left. Be realistic about this. Cut the shit and get better. I was depressed once. Then I met my wife and we have two beautiful kids. My mental health has improved so much, I hardly know what it feels like to be even sad anymore. Life will fuck up your mind, but will you really give up? Or will you flip off the world by powering through, you sad cunt?

>>11872418
tell me then.

>>11872341

nice

>>11872489

It is delicious

>>11872478
>You were depressed ONCE

That doesn't mean you have depression. Just means you were depressed. There is a huge difference retard.

>>11872333
Savoury:
Toast with butter and Marmite, topped with sauteed spinach, tinned mackerel and poached eggs.

Sweet:
Porridge with blueberries, raspberries, hemp seeds, pumpkin seeds, brown sugar, honey and cinnamon.

Cheesecake and black coffee

>>11872478
Shut the fuck up faggot

>>11872333
Unironically your average Waffle House menu

>>11872333
>You will never wake up in a 13k square foot manor in your Tempur-Pedic Grandbed, pull off your chinchilla skin comforter, go into your bathing area, shit in your crystal glass toilet, take a shower using middle-class tears, dry off, put on Elvis' robe and walk to the eating area to see that Mariana has set the table perfectly and Gregory has prepared a delicious looking Michelin-quality breakfast while you are greeted to her soft, raspy, exotic accent wishing you a good morning and asking you how the sex was last night

it hurts bros

>>11872333
American country breakfast, as follows.
>Three eggs over-easy, for runny yolks
>Ham, for sopping in runny yolks
>Bacon and/ or sausages, for more sopping goodness
>Hash browns, with tomatoes, mushrooms, and onions
>Biscuits with real butter and either homemade preserves or sausage gravy
>Stewed cinnamon apples
>One large glass, orange juice
>One large glass, milk,
>One cup, coffee, lots of cream, lots of sugar

>>11872333
2 scrambled eggs with cream not milk

3 slices of smoked bacon - light crisp

1 avocado, sliced and seasoned

Sometimes swap out the bacon for 3 german bratwurst sausages

Apple cider vinegar mixed with straight cranberry juice, water and ice to help with gut health and digestion.

>>11872831
This dude knows what's up. I fucking love Waffle House. I'd eat breakfast there every morning if there were one on my way to work.

>>11872891
>I fucking love Waffle House.
In my experience, the cooks at Waffle House demonstrate actual care and pride when cooking food. Mostly middle-age or older women who look like they've probably not had an easy life, I find them to be pleasant and courteous.

>>11872891
Waffle house is amazing. It's an hour long drive from where I live but it's worth it every time.

>>11872392
The Kinder egg was probably taking it too far.

>>11872333
Coffee and if I’m feeling particularly hungry maybe a mango

>>11872853

Disgusting

>>11872865

Pleb tier keto shit

>>11872891

White trash

>>11872727

Decent

>>11872347

Pretty good

>>11872392

Incredibly based

>>11872756

No

>>11872905
That, or it's because they're cooking under observation in an open kitchen, and it's impossible to fuck up breakfast food and serve it under those conditions.

>>11872946

Based

2 fried eggs, eaten together with some rye bread

half an onion fried with bacon and a couple tomatoes, some cheddar cheese with it

an avocado diced up with it

perhaps a bit of beans or a bit of mushrooms

big glass of oragne juice with a bit of water and a couple ice cubes

damn I made myself hungry with all this writing


any suggestions for iumprovements

>>11872952
I used to be that cynical, but I realized it was just filling me with negativity.

Do people actually eat these enormous breakfasts? What is the height and weight of the average /ck/ poster?

>>11872975

Replace bacon with mushrooms, tofu, or tuna and walah! Meal fit for a kang

>>11872984

I a 5'7 and 372lbs as of this morning

>>11872333

Man, it'd be nice if white women still knew how to cook... or do anything at all, really.

>>11872996
modern white women are useless, except for being a jizz bucket. marry an aisan or latina if you want a happy life

>>11872995
Good lord

>>11872995
>I a 5'7 and 372lbs as of this morning

It's ok. It's now sexy, trendy, & socially acceptable to be morbidly obese in 'Merica.

>>11872415
Nigga, the crematorium will burn down if you try and get cremated.

https://nypost.com/2017/04/26/overly-obese-body-sets-crematorium-on-fire/

>>11873019
> obesity acceptance is now mainstream

maybe in California... they're still "fat sacks of shit" to the rest of the country

>>11873019

No, no it really isn't, except to ignorant anti health-science liberals.

>>11873027
If I remember correctly, the lefty states are the ones with the least obesity

creamed eggs with spicy sausage and cheddar cheese added in it
over two buttered and split biscuits
asparagus
and 4 slices of thin cut bacon

>>11873019

STOP POSTING PICS OF MY MOM!

>>11872342
lmao thats the Cambodian madventures breakfast

>>11873019
>It's now sexy, trendy, & socially acceptable to be morbidly obese in 'Merica.
this is why I'm moving to Japan

>>11873062
>this is why I'm moving to Japan
Where YOU will stand out as being morbidly obese by comparison. Good thinkin' there.

>>11873019
I swear Californians are just trying their best to make the rest of America fat, dumb, & ignorant.

"It's ok for you to weigh 400 pounds with diabetes and heart disease! You are one sexy woman!! Don't let society tell you otherwise!!!"

>>11872984
if i eat a breakfast like this >>11872975

its basically brunch, mostly eat that kinda stuff on weekends and the like

Im like 190cm and 80-85kg

>>11872987
aight I´ll try it, but bacon feels like a pretty central part of the meal

>>11873082
>>11873082
My instinct is that the fattest places are the "good ol boy" states in the south or maybe the midwest

as a 13yo I went to New York, as it was the Bush years I was expecting most Americans to be fat stupid fucks, so I was pretty surprised when most people were thin and well dressed

One fried egg, 2 teaspoons of lions mane mushroom powder, 1 multivitamin, and a bowl with 1/2 cup of no fat yogurt with a hand full of blueberries. Also one glass of tangerine juice.

>>11873027

This. I'm not sure what California's motive is trying to tell all the fat, dumb people that it's ok to stay obese & ignorant.

That's not social acceptance, that's a form of social control.

Omelette with feta and lots of greens, but of Greek seasoning. Usually I'm lazy tho and I just make a scramble like pic related from this morning. And a can of nitro cold brew.

1 xannie just as I wake up to stem the upcoming panic and one piece of the strongest piece of sdnuff I can find

then two pieces of cheapest rye bread with margarine and budget ham, if Im feeling luxuorious a bit of orange juice and water

>>11873098
>My instinct is that the fattest places are the "good ol boy" states in the south or maybe the midwest

This is correct. All the blacks in the deep south are borderline morbidly obese and at least 250lbs... for the women. People in CA and NY tend to be more fit.

>>11873102
>I'm not sure what California's motive is trying to tell all the fat, dumb people that it's ok to stay obese & ignorant.
>That's not social acceptance, that's a form of social control.

CA democrats are basically telling the flyover state niggers that it's ok to be fat, dumb, & stupid... keeping their voters dependent.

>>11873136
>flyover state niggers
>voting
>being able to vote
>being enough piipo to elect a democrat


bruuh ever looked at an electoral map?

>>11873136
That's why programs like welfare, affirmative action, & skin color based hiring quotas are so popular with Californians. It keeps the lower classes poor, fat, unhealthy, & uneducated in a cycle of poverty, where they're easier to control.

cold pizza, cold beer, 2 codien, large ice water

>>11873136
>remove the 13% of blacks from obesity stats
>the US obesity rate drops a whopping 2% from 38% to 36%
>US high obesity rate is all 'cause of the nogs
Lmao! Keep your head buried in the sand Cletus McFatty!

>>11873136

Holy shit, why are you 'merican blacks so fucking fat? I thought they were all supposed to be athletes n shiet?

>>11872995
Does your heart hurt?

No even trying to be a prick. Mine hurts sometimes.

5'9, 200 pounds.

>>11872333
puspus

>>11872727

Interesting for sure

>>11873136
> those black obesity rates

It's no surprise since our flyover state niggers drink soda by the gallons every week. There is a good reason why the sugar tax never gets passed in any of the southern & flyover states.

>>11872333
>eggs (scrambled or fried with runny yolk)
>tomatoes
>lettuce
>bacon
>bread

>glass of orange juice
>cup of coffee (black)

Everything bagel with turkey

Eggs are disgusting so I avoid every other breakfast thing besides fruit salad

>>11872342
Hmm seems a bit bland, add a liberal dusting of opiates to taste and you've got yourself a well balanced breakfast.

>>11872478
you sound like a dipshit. I would suggest killing yourself and then your family with the spooks.

>>11872714
>>11872764
>>11873726
t. Depressed fatties