/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11671922
>"There is blood in that meat still"
>"Is it supposed to be that loud of a sizzle?"

>>11671922
Oh fucking god boomers and their goddamned salt. I won't cook for family anymore. They know goddamned well what I did for a living and how much I got paid for a living but they'll autistically screech if I salt something before it's done cooking. They'll either start a fucking family war, refuse to eat, or if there's enough of them physically force a goddamned certified chef out of the kitchen.

>"Why would you want salt on the inside?!"

>coffee and scratched teflon don't give you cancer, I've been living this way my whole life
>no I don't know how I got intestinal cancer

"this is too spicy! how do you eat this?"

>>11671922
>"ANON! WHY IS THE MEAT STILL READ INSIDE! ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME!?!?!"
my mom when I cooked steak for dinner

>>11671922
Shit my boomer dad says/does:
>"Who the hell cooks steak in a pan? We GRILL steak around here, boy!"
>"Why are you putting salt in the pasta water? I usually only put some olive oil."
>"Why would you ever eat tofu made out of soybeans? If you want to eat beans, just eat some beanee weenees."
>*leaves bacon grease and butter in a stainless steel pan overnight* "It's called SEASONING, anon, now stuff won't stick to it!"
>*adds a mix of shredded "mexican blend" and mozzarella cheese to a pot of beef stew*
>*chops venison tenderloin into tiny chunks and cooks until totally grey and dry, then dips in bbq sauce*

Who here was super picky as a kid because your Boomer parents couldn't friggin cook. Pic related was my mom's idea of """"food"""".

I recently found a cookbook in my mom's attic that was printed by my elementary school featuring recipes from all of the retarded boomer parents of people that I went to school with, I'll try to find it again and take some pictures and make a thread out of it, some of the shit in there was horrific.

>>11671922
>"Wait, did you wash the meat?"
Fucking niggers.
>"Why did you break the spaghetti?"
Cause I ain't got time to bend them in, and prefer smaller noodz.
>"Wait Anon, did you add milk to those eggs?"
Plebs put milk in their eggs
>"American cheese is just cheddar cheese"

>>11672166
>Milk

What in the fuck.

>>11672145
Tater tot hot dish isn't the worst thing in the world. At least she kept your ungrateful ass alive

>>11671922
>dad is making scrambled eggs
>starts with olive oil in pan
>mixes too much skim milk with eggs
>turns heat up to high
>walks away
>pan is smoking in a few minutes
Dumbest shit I've ever heard is my dad telling me
>"That quick! It'll get away from you THAT QUICK, ANON! Remember that!"

Fuck you, dad. You suck shit at cooking

>>11672145
Midwest?

>>11671922
>Imma cook Christmas prime rib in my air fryer heh
Literally my father, my own flesh and blood is irl heh poster.

>>11672004
>>*chops venison tenderloin into tiny chunks and cooks until totally grey and dry, then dips in bbq sauce*
jesus christ anon I'm sorry you were abused. you'll be fine as an adult I promise just stay the course.

>>11672251
He would also sometimes marinade it in some generic storebought steak marinade and grill it, that was even worse to be honest

>mom makes nothing but casseroles and overbaked chicken, never EVER used a thermometer to tell when chicken is done
>grow up hating food, not understanding why people like it so much

I can cook now so it's fine. I ate enough cream of mushroom casseroles and dry chicken to last several lifetimes though.
Also >you have to put olive oil in the water or else the pasta will stick

>>11672287
At least he eats it I guess. my mom doesn't touch wild game because it's too gamey...says the same of grass fed...

>>11672179
>How dare you be critical of any aspect whatsoever of your parents, you are alive!
What a low fucking bar

My father used to buy cheap ribeyes and cook them in yoshida sauce (a sweet teriyaki type sauce) until they were well done. This was fairly consistent.

>>11672145
That looks like shepherds pie but with tots instead of mashed potatoes

>>11672322
Non-burger here. My friends and I made a chicken casserole last night, out of curiosity. Grabbed a random recipe off the internet. Cooked it for 10 minutes less than the recommended time and it still turned out tough, although if we changed the breast to thigh it might have turned out ok.

>>11672342
where's the bad part

>>11671922
>"what's the fucking deal with you and asian food? You made indian food the other day and now you're cooking some asian noodle"
>I was boiling spaghetti

>>11671922
I prefer the retardation of millenials personally. Are any of you one of the sort who buys strangers coffees?

>>11672361
Old Mexican lady sounds based, fuck boomers

>>11671922
“Whoa turn that heat down, you’ll burn the rice!!”

>Rusty as fuck cast iron dutch oven
What do you clean this with?
>Just soap and water

>>11672179
Unseasoned hamburger with frozen tater tots and Kraft singles on top is better than starving but it isn't food.

>>11672219
North Dakota

>>11672351
That's what it is yeah.

>>11672200
>>"That quick! It'll get away from you THAT QUICK, ANON! Remember that!"
lol i read this in my father's voice

>they just don't make good nonstick pans anymore!
After a year of scratching the pan to fuck with metal tongs and forks, leaving it in the sink and tossing bowls and utensils into it, then stacking it in the middle of the "formerly" nonstick pans in the cupboard.

>>11672361
I get it, because the white woman in the wheel chair and the mexican lady are both disabled.

https://youtu.be/ouGLEtapOX8

>>11671922
ITT: zoomers

>>11672432
>>>/r/eddit/

>>11672435
t. boomer who puts olive oil in his pasta water

>>11672440
>>>/e/ast

Into the sun thy will be done

>>11672322
>Also >you have to put olive oil in the water or else the pasta will stick
That is, in fact, a myth. Can't tell if you're baiting, but it's been disproven many times. The only way to make your pasta not stick is by adding oil after dumping the water out.

>>11672453
Sorry, but that's incorrect. Something can only be disproven a single time.

>"Olive oil's bad for you, it's oil!"

My dad told me that pizza was fattening because it had a lot of olive oil. He's an 85 year old boomer and expert on nutrition since he worked in a pizza joint in 1950

>>11672457
Disproven by many different sources. I'm sorry for the miscommunication that clearly didn't exist.

>>11671922
>make mashed potatoes with butter/salt added to taste, serve
>person automatically drops an extra fat pad on the already yellow tates, coats with shower of salt
Every fucking time I cook for them.

My mom rinses and washes everything she eats including the outside of cans, uncooked rice, and pre-washed salad

>>11672633

insane

>>11672361
Speaking a different language in front of someone is very rude tbqh

Also he just said speaking spanish means having a disability

>>11672661
>Speaking a different language in front of someone is very rude tbqh
what

>>11671922
> Don't you need to peel the skins off the mushrooms before you cook them?

>>11672685
You don't? Please explain to me, I've always peeled them.

>>11672746
What kind of fucking mushroom has a skin?

>>11671922
>I'm a hillary supporter

>>11672782
I suppose they all do, technically. But not a skin that requires peeling. Fucking dumbasses in this thread

>>11672782
Were arguing semantics like an autist?

>>11672174
Have you dead set never heard of scrambled eggs?

>>11671960
If this isn't bait you're extremely stupid. Coffee reduces risk of colon cancer and other types of cancer. Not increase.

>>11672746
anon, I don't know how to tell you this, but you've literally wasted hours of your life on a completely worthless task.

>we're having steak for dinner, anon!
>it's actually sizzle steak, not even a quarter of an inch thick

My dad still thinks it's on the same par as an actual scotch fillet and still turns it into grey chewing gum. It's fucked how disgusting it is.

Needless to say I don't go to his place for dinner often.

>>11672004
The venison part triggered me emotionally.

>>11672661
It's rude to eavesdrop you retarded boomer.

>I don't want a drop of blood in my steak, I'll only eat it well done.
It's not even fucking blood, you pussy, it's pigment. Unless it's Jack-tier raw, you have no excuse.

My mother would regularly order her steaks well done, butterflied, and send them back if there wasn't enough black charring on the outside of the steak. When cut into, the steak would be a very sickly looking gray. I don't know how she managed to chew it down mushy enough to swallow. When I pressed her for the logic on her order, as the rest of the family ordered medium, rare, ect. and had no ill effects, she told me "I'm allergic to cow blood"

>>11671922
>You're not making blue steaks again, are you?
Well, yeah. If you'd like yours medium-rare or something, I'll just leave it in longer... no?... no longer interested in steak... more for me.

>It smells like _ in here
a) Are you sure you have nostrils? A face? Because you talk out your ass an awful lot.
or b) It should. That's what I'm cooking.

>>11672878
Boomers are fucking awful about that.

I'm not in good health so they have a key in case of emergencies and they've done the dumbest, most intrusive shit possible. And they think it's harmless and innocent. Not everything needs to be cleaned and polished you dumb fucks my god you've ruined it. Oh thanks, thanks for throwing that wool in the dryer, thanks. Yes, the steel wool scratches the ceramic pan if you don't know what something is don't try to help.

No the rosemary is not bad because it smells like rosemary. That is juniper berries. Get away from the kitchen.

It's like they've become goddamned toddlers again, but far more destructive.

>>11671922
For some reason from the thumbnail, that looks like a stealth boat. That was a failed experiment.

>>11672857
People have standards you subhuman. Well done is the best thing ever

>>11673068
weak ass bait

>>11672681
It's exactly the same as whispering.

>>11672799
I make scrambled eggs all of the damn time, and they consistently come out excellent and fluffy. The only thing I use is a little bit of butter in the pan. I have never heard of using milk.

>>11671994
What chapter is the meat on?

>>11672145
That looks good and you sound like a picky brat - UNLESS your mom tried to make something like that and it turned out awful. That’s a different story.

>>11672145
I was super picky because my mom could cook delicious food but when she'd get lazy she'd make me shit like PB and J

Fuck that shit bitch

>>11673165
That's wild. I guess I'll give no milk another shot (didn't rate it the one time I tried due to only having off milk) but I've never heard of not using milk as a preference.

>>11672426
THIS. My mom never said “they don’t make good nonstick anymore”, but she had set after set of Teflon (T-Fal, Farberware, the “good” cheaper pans) pans that would get chipped and scratched and we’d end up with little black specks of the coating in our food at times. They’d use metal forks, spoons, spatulas, you name it. I’d try to recommend and remind my parents not to use metal in them and they’d say “Oh, OK...” or “Yeah... I know...” and the next time, do the same damn thing.

My sister, on the other hand, had a cheap set of the Mirro brand - super thin, crappy kind. But they lasted her for ages because she only even owned wood or nylon (non-scratch) utensils and absolutely forbade anyone to use any metal in them.

>>11672562
My mom does this too - she salts food extra, sometimes before even tasting it. Next time, make them as bland as possible. Then at least their addition of salt and butter will be justified and not excessive (unless they add 3X more)

>>11672661
This.
>>11672681
>>11673141
Would you appreciate someone standing in front of you whispering constantly? It really depends on the context.

If a customer ordered in Spanish and a waiter responded in kind - not rude.

If I go to a salon to get my nails done and the women doing them talk to each other in Vietnamese right in front of me (and possibly/probably about me), that is considered disrespectful for exactly that reason.

However, I don’t want to know what they are saying so personally, I don’t mind. They could just as easily talk shit about their customers after they leave, but at least the customer walks away oblivious.

>>11671960
>scratched teflon don't give you cancer
that's right, it doesnt. Glass marbles are more reactive and more likely to give you cancer than tefflon.

>>11673165
Bacon grease is nice for it too. I'll make a batch of bacon at once then use a grease catcher and put it into a fridge to save the grease so I can use it later.

>>11673231
How the fuck is someone else speaking in a whisper or in a different language rude at all? Literally who gives a shit, people can speak whatever language they want however they want, especially when they aren't even speaking to you. This is supposed to be a boomer hate thread, but you're acting like a fucking boomer getting upset over inconsequential shit.

>>11672944
Oof. I’m sorry anon. That sounds like a terrible situation to be in. Have you tried (nicely) asking them to not do this or do that different?

>>11673232
Better to err on the side of caution. Why would you want to eat either telflon bits or glass marbles?

>>11673205
Be glad she fed you. From the sounds of it, she should’ve made you cook for yourself.

>>11673239
Can you not read? As I said, it’s all about context. It also doesn’t matter if it bothers YOU because I’m talking about if it is considered rude IN GENERAL.

>>11673252
Keep whining about people daring to speak their native language to one another while they do your nails you fucking faggot

>>11673246
>Be glad she fed you.
Right, because I should be glad even when people fuck up basic necessities and it's normal to starve on the regular.

Do you eat shit often?

You angry folk should consider getting a tub of crisco, some dildos and condoms, and get a room at some love motel with the heart shaped bathtubs.

>>11673262
You should consider dying of heart disease, boomer

>>11673273
Nice meaningless meme, try English next time.

>>11672145
That's godly compared to my mother's cooking.

Sometimes she would just boil beef mince and that would be dinner. I thought I hated beef because of that.

>>11672004
>*chops venison tenderloin into tiny chunks and cooks until totally grey and dry, then dips in bbq sauce*
apart from that one, your dad seems like a cool lad

>>11673239
Social parasite detected.

>ITT: bunch of ungrateful sour cunts
Be grateful you have a dad faggots

>>11672562

There is no reason to not consume more salt. Higher doses of it are better for your health than those too low. I unironically fucked my thyroid because I reduced my salt intake to around 2-3g a day, while I would have been more than okay consuming 15g even tho the recommended dose is 4g.

Adding fat and salt is absolutely fine. It only increases the taste without distorting it. There really is not much wose than people kvetching about fucking salt, because they like the meme.

>hey you know that boomer meme?
>yeah?!
>i spammed it on 4chan rent free and thought it was epic
>lol u 2? xDD

>>11673425
'tain't what rent free means, lad

>>11673428
shoo based /qa/ bro and let me have some fun with the 4channelers

>>11673335
How young of a child do you have to be to not be able to criticize your own parents?

>>11672870
is your mom retarded or something?

>>11672166
>Breaking the pasta
>Ever

You are a sick, sad person and I hope you seek help.

>>11672442
>adding flavor
>bad

Moron. Oh noes, the sauce doesn't stick as well! Because traditional italians don't eat it all mixed in together. If they want a meat sauce they eat it next to the oiled pasta.

>>11672944
Oy vey you should bend over and take it you ungreatful whatever
They are family and thus cannot do wrong ever and you cannot criticise them for anything ever
Not even if they smugly say retarded shit and call you stupid about a subject you have a fucking PhD in

>>11672562
It tastes better adding a butter pat and salt to already salted and buttered potatoes. Stop criticizing what people like.

>>11673252
Lmao typical woman. Hurr durr I'm not included in a conversation so rude.

>>11673541
>adding flavor
>traditional italians don't eat it all mixed in together
Literally what the fuck are you on about

>>11673583

>>11673631
The stupidity of boomers truly knows no bounds. Thank fuck all of you useless old pieces of shit will be dead from heart attacks or lung cancer in a few years.

>>11671922
>i drink for the taste
Well then just put wood smoke in your water, drink piss or drink grape juice then. Fucking white piece of shit boomer

>>11672179
>>11672351
they're called "Potato Gems" you cretin

>>11673507
Funny how there are people in this world who mistake gratefulness with boot-licking servility

>>11673690
Widdle baby zoomer can't handle beer or whiskey!

>>11672944
they're only trying to help anon. cherish them while you can.

>>11672746
You have to peel some, but not all mushrooms.
I often peel a variety of Leccinum Scabrum that I get in the pine woods near home, it helps when they taste too much of resin.

>>11671959
Wait what?
But why?

My grandma would always start cooking meat for dinner around 11am or 12pm (not really intending for it to be slow cooked) and by dinner time it would be liquified. She also made Christmas dinner this week. She started cooking the turkey at six am, then carved it two hours before she intended to serve it at five thirty. Then she talked loudly about how she remembered to make macaroni and cheese this year. I looked over and it was Velveeta Mac and cheese. Turkey was cold and dry, the green beans were liquid from being overcooked, and the Velveeta was the usual. Someday I'll cook the dinner, but she claims the holiday cooking responsibilities for now.

>>11673257
Idk man maybe it's an American thing because they only speak English. I'm from South Africa and everyone is speaking some different fucking language so it's just normal

>cooks eggs until they're turning brown
>boils eggs until the yolk is greenish
>only cooks steaks well-done
>says everything tastes too salty regardless of whether there's salt in it
>can't handle spice

>>11671922
>That's what the recipe said

>>11673242
>>11673875
Oh I cherish them. And most of my family now won't touch anything without me being there. I've explained to both my parents and my grandparents that they can break or damage things on accident and I can't necessarily find or afford replacements. Getting it through the 48 year olds' head was easier than getting it through the 78 year olds'. He thinks I should've just bought different stuff.

>>11672145
My moms food was so fucking bad outside of her chili and coleslaw. Her Coleslaw was literally just cabbage, salt, pepper, and vinegar though.

>>11671959
>Oh fucking god boomers and their goddamned salt.

This. My mom literally never added salt to anything she cooked. It was like she had an irrational fear of salt. Her excuse for not salting meatballs was "there's enough salt in the (jar of) sauce."

One time I went home for a visit and decided to cook pork chops with dirty rice and fried okra (the food of my homeland). Her brain nearly exploded because I...salted the fried okra. She actually said "I NEVER would have even thought to salt the okra." Sad.

"Just cook bacon in the microwave it's easier"

>>11672004
>>*leaves bacon grease and butter in a stainless steel pan overnight* "It's called SEASONING, anon, now stuff won't stick to it!"

This isn't really that bad. If you're going to use the same pan to cook breakfast, it's probably fine. Obviously, that's not how you actually season a pan, but it's a good way to not waste cooking fat.

>>11672633
>cans
It's smart because cans get shipped around for weeks in containers, usually they'll have rodents that can urinate and defecate on the outsides.

>rice
this is fairly common

>pre-washed salad
By a machine and then sat for however long, could contain mold spores

You just sound like an idiot desu

>>11671932
>there's blood in that meat
>WAIT ITS NOT BLOOD ITS ACTUALLY MYOGLOBUSHIT TOTALLY DIFFERENT ALTHOUGH IT'S DISGUSTING RED LIQUID, TEHEE I'M SO SMART MY FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MOVIE IS DIE HARD

> I want my kangaroo well done.

Enjoy your leather boot.

>>11675181
but it's not at all disgusting you fucking NPC simp. Go kill yourself.

>>11675181
Yikes, that fragile ego

>>11673357
This is true, it's not so much the sodium dosage, it's an imbalance in ratio of sodium to potassium that causes heart problems. You're exercising regularly you basically have to have a lot of salt unless you're content with reduced performance

>>11673239
Why can't you just yell obscenities in a restaurant? It's not like you are yelling at the people around you.
It's rude because you aren't being respectful in certain situations. Like his hairdresser situation is pretty much dead on. Part of these persons job is to engage with you on the level you want them to engage you via social clues and so on. If you just speak to the other hair dresser in another language the customer is completely cut out of a chance to communicate with them and a chance the customer will feel like they are insulting them.
Yes if you are walking down the street and some random people are speaking another language it's fine.

>>11673231
Agreed, whenever I go on vacation with my family I always make sure to become fluent in every language that is used in that country, so as not to "disrespect" the locals.

>salmonella is literally everywhere, everything must burn

>sushi? you'll just get sick and die if you eat that stuff!

>believing other completely debunked and easily verified bugaboos

the generation that smoked and ate themselves into an early grave actually think they know what the fuck they're talking about

>>11671959
>hurr my sodium levels
If you eat prepackaged foods you're eating a fuckton of sodium, your home cooked meal doeant even fucking compare to your fucking chef boyardee meatballs you feed to your kids (not you anon, I'm talking about "those" family members). If you wanna underseason and under salt your food then fine, but don't get Mad and tell me "theres salt on that already" if I add more.

>>11673231
>If I go to a salon to get my nails done and the women doing them talk to each other in Vietnamese right in front of me (and possibly/probably about me), that is considered disrespectful for exactly that reason.
This is just cultural misunderstanding. In asia, the lowly servant manicurist is so far beneath the manicured that their brainless babbling wouldn't even be acknowledged no matter what language was being spoken.

>>11675173
You sound like an absolute princess. Why are you so afraid of harmless invisible germs. There's a 1 in a billion chance you will get anything from touching an unwashed can ffs

>>11672681
As a mostly bilingual person, it is. It's a sleight and subtle nod to the person/people who can't speak the language. If you can express your thoughts in the common tongue of the place you are without issue, why wouldn't you except to have a secret club

Fuck, this thread makes me glad my parents were smart enough to learn to cook.
And they're from fucking england.
If my Lancastrian mum can learn to make thai simmered pork from scratch, why the fuck do other boomers find cooking so hard?

>>11672361
>>11672661
how the fuck do you grow up in the united states and not even understand a little spanish? nobody is suggesting you be able to read luis cernuda in your spare time for pleasure, but if you're getting triggered by some old lady talking about the weather jesus maria, you need to deport yourself now, please and thank you

>>11672166
>"Wait, did you wash the meat?"
Never heard of anyone doing this irl. Is this some sick meme?

>>11671922
Being a strength athlete, I've lost track of the amount of pointless/stupid nutritional advice I've been told.

I think the dumbest thing I've ever heard was someone who doesn't heat their food above body temperature based on some moronic theory that ingesting denatured proteins is the basis for a bizarre variety of metabolic diseases.

>>11675575
It’s a black person thing

>>11672200
nothing wrong with olive oil for eggs, but
>skim milk in eggs
>Heat too high
>WALKING AWAY from scrambled eggs

yikes

>>11673210
>wood cutlery
ive never seen such thing anon, all ive seen was like wooden spatulas and big wooden cooking spoons, and wooden ladles. never seen wooden cutlery cause you cant put them in the dishwasher without fucking them up.

>>11673239
broken braaaain

>>11675181
Well-done fiend spotted

>>11672004
>Why would you ever eat tofu made out of soybeans? If you want to eat beans, just eat some beanee weenees."

based af, anon confirmed soyboy

>trying to diet to lose weight
>mother who is fat as a whale and had her gallbladder out keeps telling me I'm not eating enough and that it's not about the calories

>>11675139
she sounds like she didnt intend anything bad, maybe her parents were shitty cooks and she wasnt introduced to salt or it wasnt used in her home so she just grew up not using it, therefore just doesnt think of using it.
you sound like a faggot

>>11675693
t.boomer

>>11672166
American cheese is just cheddar cheese
Process cheese food is not cheese therefore it cannot be cheddar cheese. Try some expensive American cheese. Buy some expensive all beef bologna while you're at it.

When you're trying to get in shape for a bodybuilding contest and your family says you're not fat, you don't need to diet.

>>11672380
who the fuck makes that and doesn't season the meat? Basically meatloaf with tatertos on top. Of course you season the meat loaf and add ketchup for a good crust.

>>11673076
Well it was not bait. I dont see how that is bait. Well done is actually godly. Just because you dont know yourself doesnt mean its bait

>>11673239
Subhuman detected

>>11672004
>*leaves bacon grease and butter in a stainless steel pan overnight* "It's called SEASONING, anon, now stuff won't stick to it!"

fucking this. I only hear it from my grandpa, because fuck my father, but still, this is bullshit.
I always feel like throwing up when I see old grease, butter, some burned crumbs and burned crumbs from the last week in the pan when I should cook.
Whenever I ask him if he ever thinks of washing the pan, he's just like
>No, washing ruins the coating. What do you mean, this grease is disgusting? This is pure butter, it just adds flavour. Don't you dare washing this

One time I actually threw a tantrum because I refused to cook in this thing, they got me my own pan since then.
Now I have my own knives, my own pan and even a pot.
The kitchen is still a fucking mess but at least my utensils are clean

>>11672453
>>11672457
The only way to not make pasta stick is to not overcook it

>>11675564
I live in the US not some Latin shithole so I see no reason to learn their language. If I ever decide to visit one of those countries I'll learn a little. Btw that story was an "and everybody clapped" story...in other words fake as fuck

>>11673262
Don't threaten me with a good time

>>11674103
Yeah I'm pretty sure that the guy complaining about people speaking other languages is a dumb American boomer himself. Americans, and boomers in particular, really hate when people speak anything other than English because it hurts their precious American identity. He's the kind of person who tells people to "go back to Mexico" if they dare utter a word in Spanish, and he's probably a Drumpftard too.

>>11671922
We need an Olive Garden around here

>>11676072
>their language
"They" are just as American as you, dumbass.

>>11675564
>how the fuck do you grow up in the united states and not even understand a little spanish?
Probably by growing up in the actual US and not a glorified refugee camp.

>"they're fine, that mold is ok"
ITS NOT THE 1920S MOM. ONIONS DONT NEED TO BE MOLDY. THROW AWAY THAT BAG. YOU BUY NEW ONIONS FOR 5 CENTS

>>11675652
Don't forget those huge ass wooden chopsticks used at Chinese restaurants in big woks.

>>11673357
Good to way to lose a kidney.

>>11672179
Just because you're not abusing your kid doesn't mean you're great. It's the most basic low bar ever. Why don't we try to set it higher?

>>11676731
A tiny bit of white on your buns is fine though.

>>11675689
This is why so many little kids are fat now. Parents can't keep themselves from being obese and they're going to be in charge of what a child eats too?

>>11676695
Why would you move to another nation if you don't wish to embrace its culture? If your language and culture of birth is so great, stay where it belongs. If all you want is an easier life, and that's more important to you than your culture, make the full sacrifice.

>>11676707
No

>>11675937

You threw a tantrum and they got you a pan and a pot. In my house children stay away from the kitchen.

Buy your own fucking stuff anon, you entitled manchild. If you want to cook your own way buy your own utensils and your own ingredients. Until you do mommy and daddy have the right to leave a fucking loaf of bread in the pan if they want to. Grow the fuck up.

>>11677620
You forgot to mention that he needs to get his own home. That's what he wanted people to criticize him for most.

>>11672004
>chops venison tenderloin into tiny chunks and cooks until totally grey and dry, then dips in bbq sauce
Welp, my jimmies are thoroughly rustled.

>>11676795
I've started using chopsticks to stir and some other cooking functions. Won't scratch, have good precision and feel.

>>11675564
>the one that’s actually from here needs to be deported

>>11675937

>>11671959
>you think I'd drive a CIVIC if I didn't work at DENNY'S MA?
dude, just change your ways to appease their rituals. they'll enjoy it more and enjoying food is pretty much the goal of recreational (aka most) cooking.

>>11677622

Even if his millenial purse cannot afford a house and he still lives in his mother's attic with three generations of his family under the same roof, he should still grow a pair and contribute financially.

Instead of pretending to be a master chef, after the epic meal time and jamie oliver soyboy vids he watches, try getting a fucking job to start paying the bills and then complain about what grandpa is doing with the pan he fucking bought for the family.

>>11677681
His grandpa's pan is nasty as fuck, stop being a dumb contrarian

>>11677742

Conersation a. Yes his grandpa's pan was nasty.

Conversation b. Yes he is an entitled sniveling fuck.

Conversation c. Fuck off now and learn how to converse.

Conversation d. You can jointly throw a tantrum and jerk each other off with your grandparent's grease (you know the one he bought with his OWN money by having a J-O-B)

>>11676718
>the economic engines of the country
>glorified refugee camps
Huh wow guess all those cities that subsidize your flyover lifestyle are actually failing because some brown people live there. Thanks for the news, friend.

>>11675320
>under salt
There's no such thing as under-salting a food unless you just really want it to have a salty taste. In the grand scheme of things a pinch of salt every now and again won't kill you but it's really not good for you.

>>11672426
I left my mother to finish off the bubble and squeek on boxing day. She decided that the plastic spatula that was already used wouldn't be adequate to lift some fried potato and vegetables out of the pan so used my giant razor sharp spatula for the grill. This was after she cut it in to slices in the pan with my victorinox and threw it in the sink. Hopefully there are some good pan deals in the new year sales

>>11671922
>>11672475
Actually all oil really is bad for you, even EVOO (which is the least bad for you) causes arterial function to sharply decline for hours after consumption. Just don't overdo it and don't eat it often.

>>11671922
>>"Olive oil's bad for you, it's oil!"
What ?
I didn't even know this, I wok with olive oil now since my parents bought a fuckload of bottles and I have to use it up somehow.

>>11674096
It's time to kill grandma anon.
A pillow works well for old people, they don't have the strength to push you off.

>>11673357
If you're that concerned with eating enough iodine for proper thyroid function you'd be better off eating a sheet or two of nori everyday than adding salt to meals. Adding salt to your food all the time is quite unhealthy and a poor excuse for adding flavor or getting enough iodine. While you're at it avoid foods containing potassium bromate.

>>11676695
seething lib detected

fuck off back to honduras with your slave caravan

>>11678833
Did he trigger you? Lol

>>11675937
>I actually threw a tantrum
Go away please.

>>11671922

"I'm poaching an egg. It's been cooking for 15 minutes. Do you think its ready?"

>>11673183
underrated

>>11677396
I gave your mom's buns a tiny bit of white.

>>11676707
Sure they are, pal.

>>11678853
Another conservitard triggered epic style

>>11677916
>it's another "roastie toastie coasties confuse farm subsidies with social welfare programs" episode

>>11672322
"You can't bake moist chicken"
Legit said by my mom. Her recipe was let 4 month frozen chicken sit in Italian dressing overnight and then burn it.

>>11672145
im not white so i dont know what this is but this looks fucking g o o d

>>11679041
>some anime LARPing autist fails to realize farm subsidies is literally the biggest corporate welfare program in America
understandable you fucking weeb dweeb

>>11679335
Enjoy watching your grocery bill go up as the cost of feed goes up coastie.

>coastie gets mad at flyovers for farm subsidies when coasties themselves import huge amounts of water to grow water intensive trendy crops like almonds instead of just growing crops appropriate to the region

>>11676707
Wtf I'm not even American but this is disgusting.

>>11677515
>>11679434
>"people who were born in America aren't American because they speak Spanish"
brainletwojak.jpeg

>>11671959
My boomer dad murderizes everything in salt.

>>11672004
>>*chops venison tenderloin into tiny chunks and cooks until totally grey and dry, then dips in bbq sauce*

Gut medicare now.

>>11671922
It doesn't matter how often I explain peanut butter and margarine have trans fats in them my mother insists they are healthy. And she is deathly afraid of lard

>anon how do you get your pie crust so flakey?
uh I'm just lucky I guess

>>11676072
t. doesn't have a passport

>>11676718
TBQH I'd take millions more over the dumb lazy welfare queens that would rather collect medicaid bux for their oxy addictions while bitching about big gubmint

>>11677661
There is no official language in the US, moreover a significant amount of US landmass was formerly OFFICIALLY Spanish speaking. If you can't even say "la cuenta por favor" when you're done eating, you're almost certainly mentally retarded

>>11679537
Wait I thought it was saturated fat that was bad did we flipflop again?

This shit.

This shit is what my mom eats on a near daily basis. It's a fucking miracle she hasn't keeled over in a salt induced coma.

>>11679586
Are those frozen microwave burritos drenched in store-bought pre-shredded cheddar cheese? Nice

>>11679591
Yes. El Monterey Chininchangas

>>11679575
Its an imbalance in the ratio of unsaturated fat to saturated fat that causes problems

>>11679041
>>11679380
Oh it’s not just farm subsidies. Don’t forget about the insanely expensive and overabundant water development projects built as make-work and sweetheart deals for big ag. No, none of those have been paid back by the farmers despite agreeing to do so and getting no or deferred interest on those payments. Those projects that create barely-arable land at 14-20x the cost of actual good land, so that the locals can grow low-value crops that farmers in actual fertile areas are being paid not to grow.

At least the California Central Valley (which is flyover itself but I’ll let it slide) can produce high value crops and actually be worth the investment to some extent. Nowhere else gets that excuse. All the water needs of SF and LA could easily be met in perpetuity if it weren’t for all the water getting diverted so someone could grow alfalfa in the desert at taxpayer expense.

Btw food stamps are themselves a farm subsidy; artificially lowering the cost to consumer of farm products so they can buy more.

>>11672179
>At least she kept your ungrateful ass alive
cockroaches keep their young alive
its not impressive you dumb boomer

>>11671932
>heh you see it's a common misconception, it's actually myoglobin not blood. Hehe I'm so smart although it's still a disgusting red liquid, my favorite Christmas movie is die hard, I'm so smart and full of wit

>>11672661
>Speaking a different language in front of someone is very rude tbqh
t. Amerigoblin

>>11679458
>A hamster born in a fishtank is a fish

>>11680979
>an American citizen is not an American because he is brown
Please tell me that you're not actually retarded and you're just baiting

>giving a fuck about a scratch in a pan
literal pussies

>>11677672
Not him but fuck you anon, he shouldnt have to cook wrong to appease morons.

>>11673231
>If I go to a salon to get my nails done and the women doing them talk to each other in Vietnamese right in front of me (and possibly/probably about me), that is considered disrespectful for exactly that reason.
no this is fucking retarded, the asian women dont give a shit about you and you shouldnt give a shit about what they say. just let them rub your soles with the pumice jelly or whatever the fuck and let em file your nails you faggot

>>11671959
>boomer white bois and their tasteless food
i lmao @ yours lives, cucks

>Boomer parents
>Ate casseroles four times a week growing up
I never want to see a dish served in casserole form again. Fuck Betty Crocker and their shitty 50's easy meals.

>>11672944
lock the kitchen. they cant behave

>boomer boss and I go grab a bite at a nearby place.
>orders his burger well done
>ask why
>"I don't want to eat undercooked food that's gross."
And he always brags about how he was a badass convict gangster in the 60s but can't handle a little blood.

>>11672004
>>*chops venison tenderloin into tiny chunks and cooks until totally grey and dry, then dips in bbq sauce*

jimmy status: RUSTLED

>>11677414
Did you or your ancestors bother to learn any Navajo?

>>11679041
You're right - - welfare bux aren't nearly as big of a useless drain as corn and soy subsidies.

>>11681553
GELATIN

SALAD

>>11672322
>Also >you have to put olive oil in the water or else the pasta will stick

It's supposed to stick, to the sauce.

>>11672145
You shut the fuck up about tatertot casserole, you fucking faggot.

>>11681616
>Mom doesn't even make her Jell-O salad, just buys it from Kroger
>Nobody eats it because it tastes like literally nothing
>Always a ton left over
>She expects me to eat it for the next week because she thinks I love it
>Don't have the heart to tell her I never liked the stuff because she thinks of it as a treat for me

Pray for me.

>>11672145
>super picky
>consumes only chicken tenders, pizza and juice

>>11671959
I love my parents to death, but they caught me putting salt and pepper into our eggs when I was cooking breakfast and it blew their minds. I think the other side of the coin is the people that believe things like
>omg you put salt its gonna make the eggs disintegrate into individual fats and proteins before they even hit the pan wtf!!!

>>11681700
I've always wondered if this was Charlie Sheen in this pic. Is it Charlie Sheen anon? Please tell a poor newfag...

>>11673165
It really fluffs them up, given you scramble them in a bowl beforehand

>>11672004
>venison
easily either the best or worst meat, depending on how it's cooked. It makes me sad someone would cook it that way.

>>11680979
What exactly is a fish in this context? There's no other definition of American other than someone from America, it's not a race or ethnicity.

>I actually enjoy the taste of the meat, thank you
how to slay me in one sentence

>>11680979
>someone legally born in the united states couldn't possibly be a citizen because they don't speak english with their family or friends
Guess how I know you're retarded.

>parents are from india
>entire country doesn't know how to fucking cook meat besides fish chicken and goat
>parents felt unsafe with medium rare meats so every thing with beef was cooked well fucking DONE
>pork was for poor muslims so they'd get visibly nervous when id bring pork home as they thought indias dogshit standards for meat and general inspection apply to the USA

>>11672633
>outside of cans
I used to think this was retarded but then the vending company that delivers our canned drinks started sending over diet cokes that were COVERED in black flecks of dirt and shit and now I'm paranoid that every can is just as dirty even if I can't see it

>>11672145
I could go for a LARGE bowl of that rn

>>11681993
me too i want to be white when it comes to food

>>11679967
>Imagine actually eating a well done steak

>>11678425
Let's see some evidence

>>11677396
I'm allergic to penicillin

>>11678248
I'm sorry for your loss

>>11681701
Just tell her you spineless fuck

>>11679575
trans fats have always been considered bad, but yeah saturated/unsaturated is just a meh now.

salt too

>>11681602
>assuming ancestors were put in environments that promoted cultural growth, preservation, and development

ok buddy go back 2 the trail of tears lol

>>11679884
Shit the fuck up trans womyn peace of shit

>>11671922
Wow. Ceiling cat really let himself go.

>>11681602
Don’t be silly, they were too busy poisoning the poor cunts.

>>11673541
Italians mix the pasta with the sauce and put it back on the heat for a minute before serving. They also (apart from rare circumstances) do not add oil to the pasta water, just plenty of salt. Oil would stop the sauce from getting into the pasta. You sir, are a dolt and should stop posting in order to avoid further embarrassment – both for yourself and your poor parents.

>>11679967
Yeah, better to be a fucking retard

>>11679368
>everyone eats sysco slop like me
flyover racists are indistinguishable from feedlot animals

>>11671959
My mom cooked spaghetti bolognese the other day. All it was were overcooked, completely unsalted pasta with some mince that she smothered in one of those packaged bolognese seasonings and a fuckton of oil
I mean, I luv my mum, but she can't cook for shit but still think she's doing a hell of a job

>>11673285
how do you even boil beef mince?

11682537
>being this desperate for (You)s

>>11682796
>>11682537
>not knowing how to quote

11682820
I'm not giving you the (You) retard

>>11682884
>>11682820
>doesn't know how to quote
Are wh*teoids really this bad at computers????

>>11682382
>butthurt welfare queen challenging the masculinity of others

>>11672633
>cans
it don't hurt to give em a quick rinse
>washing rice
its not really about getting it clean, its to rinse off starches so it comes out fluffier
>pre-washed salads
i sometimes find bugs in them so yeah I'm not eating a spider dick tonight

>>11672200
>"That quick! It'll get away from you THAT QUICK, ANON! Remember that!"

>mum used to be a vegetarian
>likes her meat cooked past well done and halfway to jerky so it's less like an animal
>rest of the family are basically wolves
>offer to help her cook whenever we notice a steak in the fridge

>>11671922
>"Well I always cook it until it's black, that's how you know it's done."
Instant way to detect a boomer

>>11671922
>>11671959
I'm kind of new to trolling. If I were to rage and complain about things other people do, what demographic meme label do I call them, that will garner the best results for trolling? This, "boomer," label seems pretty new and I'm not sure it works consistently. How long have you been on 4channel?

Anyway, has anyone ever tried a pizza like this?

>>11671959
>They know goddamned well what I did for a living and how much I got paid for a living
This #humblebrag shit doesn't make you sound cool, anon. It just makes you look pathetic

>>11682884
This is the faggiest shit

>>11684107
those are some big berries

>>11673231
>>If I go to a salon to get my nails done and the women doing them talk to each other in Vietnamese right in front of me (and possibly/probably about me), that is considered disrespectful for exactly that reason.
That is literally all they ever do at a nail salon.

>>11684142
I've seen bigger

>>11684107
Ive been on 4chanel since day one. Fuck off newfag.

Hey Traveler Trail, did you get the card I sent? Says it was delivered a few days ago.

Also, Melodious Moon, you get a chance to open your package?

My dad refuses to eat anything with green or red bell pepper in it. He is SOOOO annoying and embarrassing at restaurants. Like a little kid who never got over a dumb food aversion. He will tell waiters
> I’m allergic to peppers, please double check with the kitchen this has no peppers

Also refuses to eat anything with even a hint of spice (which is why he won’t eat bell peppers, he thinks they are spicy).

Mom microwaves EVERYTHING. I could never even imagine cooking entire meals in the microwave, but she does it. From eggs to vegetables to meats. All in the microwave.

>>11684224
I've been on 4channel since the original separation eons ago then it died then gookmoot now uses it. Kind of a full circle thing.

>>11675668
is there tofu not made of soybeans?

>>11684305
Interesting question, not because of the soy turns you into a girl nonsense, but because it might produce a tofu with more robust flavor. I can't think of a reason why it wouldn't work with any bean since there's nothing magical about soybeans. I might try to make a small batch of pinto bean tofu sometime.

>>11672145
bitch this looks good as hell

>>11672200
top kek

>>11679586
this looks good as fuck

>>11684257
>he won't eat bell peppers, he thinks they are spicy
i'm so sorry anon i'd be embarrassed as hell if my dad acted like that at restaurants

>>11672145
Me, but she eventually got really good at cooking. Your pic looks fucking amazing.

>>11675564
Because the natives inb4 MUH INDIANS, grow the fuck up they lost of the country shouldn't have to deal with your illegible beantalk because you're too lazy to learn the language the majority of the population uses. You fucking spics that are completely incapable of adapting to a country's culture are the reason everyone hates your guts and thinks you're all illegal low class scum. If you can't show basic respect for the foreigners that are taking you in you shouldn't be suprised when they get upset at your incapability to adapt. You try this shit in other countries you'll get your shit kicked in, the only reason Americans put up with it is because of the tired "B-BUILT ON IMMIGRANTS" rhetoric, and that won't work forever.

Fuck you. I'm fucking mad.

>>11672661
No it isn't, you fucking moron.

>>11677672
We do not negotiate with culinary terrorists.

>>11672179
So they did the bare minimum.

>>11673246
Parents owe their children food, to not give them any is an unforgivable crime.

>>11679458
You are absolutely correct, just because someone chooses to speak another language doesn't mean they aren't american

>>11679562
Based

>>11684656
America is born from immigrants you ignorant cousin fucker. The only reason you believe their language to be "illegible" (its spoken you retard not written) is because you are too stupid to learn another language, don't get mad at others for your own inadequacies.

You have no right to be mad about things that you are too stupid to understand.

Fuck you. I'm fucking mad.

>>11679884
>>11681612
Absolutely based

>>11684656
Mexicans were in TX, the southwest and CA long before your pale, sickly, poor, disenfranchised ancestors washed up on the shores of america. You have to go back.

>>11675564
its you who should be deported, juan.

>>11684959
Mexico abandoned you lot when they ought the US and got their shit kicked in
You being allowed to stay was a kindness, one you rats never deserved

>>11672179
Can't believe all the negative replies to this. Lots of fucking retards around these parts.

>>11679967
Seen this post a couple of times. Not sure if it's the same guy or not, but imagine being so shameful of yourself for realising you were retarded enough to mistake a translucent pink, low viscosity, savoury fluid for blood, which has none of those properties, that you actually hit maximum and loop around to land in the abomination of an ego-saving mechanism that is this post.

>>11672004
>the venison part
Holy shit I'm like the most Nancy-ass suburban yuppie here and even I can feel my blood pressure increasing. I'm so sorry, Anon.

>>11675564
>move to US from Japan
>have to learn English and pops refuses to let me be a ESL retard
>end up learning English fluently in 6 months

If i could do it why cant you. I speak some Spanish since i live in Florida and i have to turn Spanish folks power off all the time but god damn what is their problem. My grandma is 86 and moved to America when she was 80 and she speaks more English than the average Hispanic person who chases me down for turning them off for not paying their bills.

>>11685027
You bred like cockroaches at that time was why, and now look at you, reaching nip levels of reproduction and trying to rig the census so it looks like you still have a majority.

As far as the OP's boomer shit:
>mom makes chicken cacciatore with canned mushrooms from some stupidass woman's magazine
>spaghetti cooked to mush
>skin of chicken is incredibly slimy but in a kind of attractive way
I tried to get the recipe to get that chicken skin slimy like she did, but she was already in the dementia stage and only knew who I was by prompting.

>>11685279
>blood is not red liquid
Imagine being this stupid

>>11685527
M Y O G L O B I N.

>>11685513
Exactly. Spanish is incredibly easy, there really is no excuse.

>>11685513
>If i could do it why cant you.
People can, witness the *gasp* social democratic europeans knowing 3+ languages. The issue isn't that your humpbacked nip grandma learned enough broken english to get through a walmart checkout line and now you have to bitch about the latinos. How fucking naive can you get.

>>11684656
Shut the fuck up boomer Drumpflet

>>11679586
That's a lot of cheese

>>11672179
>at least she kept her end of the life bargain
if she didn't she'd go to prison. that's literally all that motivates mothers, they fucked up and now if they fuck their kid up they get in trouble

>>11679968
>>11684711
He's right. 100% of the time they're talking shit thinking they're getting away with being rude. Just own up and be a direct asshole, don't be a woman about it.

>>11686228
>i'm bothered by what servants babble to each other in whatever servant gibberish they choose to use and believe they're committing white genocide against me while they're doing my nails
Annnddd...this is why you sturmdrumpfers are an absolute joke.

>>11673231
Its got nothing to do with you. You should only be annoyed if you're actively in a group with others and two start conspiring through whispers. Some random people on the street having a conversation in their language has fuck all to do with you and you have no 'right' to know what they're talking about. There isn't a social requirement to invite strangers into your conversation.

>>11685804
Beaner salt best salt

>>11686613
Gotta love it. The greasiness makes it ideal for cleaning steel surfaces.

>>11672159
Holy crap I have one of those too! There was a recipe for carbonara that used cream of mushroom soup... like what in the literal fuck

>>11686659
One of the standouts to me was something just called "GREEK DISH" that was a bunch of slices of eggplant with some random shit including tomatoes and ground beef tossed on top of it and baked into a casserole.

>>11686665
I'm not sure if there's even a Greek word for casserole... sounds like an abomination

>>11672159
I have the old cookbook from my elementary school with all recipes from students' families.
Legit, 2/3 of them use cream of mushroom soup and 3/4 are casseroles.

>>11686700
cream of mushroom soup could be considered a seasoning to some unfortunate souls

>>11686725
yeah, and when it appears in a recipe for chicken tortilla soup, I just don't know what to think

>>11679586
I did this in high school but I didn't dump the whole bag on it. I put the chimichangas against each other and filled the valley between them with the cheese before microwaving.

>grandma making chili
>I take out the cayenne for her
>she acts like I'm trying to kill her. What kind of madman would put cayenne in their chili? It'll make the whole fucking pot too spicy for everyone

>grandma makes literally anything
>it turns out bland
>I suggest salt
>refuses because she's already put a tiny little bit of salt in it already
>because if you put more than one (1) salt it'll make the dish too salty
This woman is so afraid of salt

my dad is in his 50s and more picky than a toddler. for most of his life he has lived off of pasta, tacos, english muffin pizzas, and turkey sandwiches. however that might be partly my mom's fault because she didn't cook much and her side of the family is insane with food. zero regard whatsoever for expiration dates or food hygiene.

I'm talking beef roast kept in a freezer for five years and then eaten. Decade (or more) old sauces and seasonings. Boxed goods well past a year. Cats and animals all over the counter while cooking. Utensils being used straight from a dirty sink. Plates taken from the garden underneath plants. Dead flies directly in the serving pot. And none of them understand why we don't want to eat with them.

>>11686989
They're children of Nurgle
Embrace their culture you bigot

>>11686989
So now I'm curious. Why is it that three out of four older Americans cannot cook, let alone grasp the concept of fresh food? Did the shitty boomer/Vietnam generation that raised them go so far into that which is the boxed/canned processed food abyss? Did these generations of our elders rely solely on betty crocker dog shit?

My relatives in Europe are in their seventies, and they still know how to cook. Meanwhile grandma in the States thinks that no seasoning on food is good, over cooking is standard, yet still fucking complains with every bite that her food is "somehow" disgusting.

>>11673690
If I drank solely to get druk, I'd butt chug vodka.

>>11685527
>these two are the same colour
>colour is the sole basis for differentiating things
s i m p l y i m a g i n e

>>11678425
Common misconception. If you have high fat without a lot of carbs, arteries are fine. Same the other way to a point too. But the combination of carbs plus fat causes all that harm.

>>11672145
I literally would refuse to eat because they would make the most heinous shit. Ground beef, white rice, bushes baked beans, mixed in a gian pot. SOMETIMES sausage. It was fucking trash. Literally the laziest "cooks". Theyve been eating the same 3 fucking meals for going on 6 years now. The rice and beans recipie has been retired. Now its just a pot of beans, a pot of soup, a pot of stew. And those will sit in their fridge or freezer to just be reused over and over. Its infuriating. Ive tried desperately to introduce them to new things but theyre stubborn boomers

>>11687887
Oh, and no matter what it was, it HAD to be mixed in a bowl. Like wtf, it completely ruins the texture and enjoyment of the fucking meal. Rarely ever have they had a meal that wasnt prepared in a big ass pot, thrown in a bowl and mixed up. Literally just mash up entire meals and stir it up into a mushy brown paste and eat it from a bowl. Why even prepare the other food seperate. An example being meatloaf. Sometimes theyd make meatloaf with mashed potatoes, and some sort of side. It all turns to a brown mess and it drove me insane. And the incessant use of just a whole ass can of corn or peas in everything regardless of if it goes with what is made or not simply cuz its "healthy" dear lord

>>11682884
Cringe

>>11675418
>t. loves eating feces
om om nomnom mmm delicious rat shit mmmm