/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11366352
he makes the same noises eating your moms pusy

>>11366352
>t. Zoomer intimidated by the sound of a real man enjoying his meal

how can you eat a noise?

>>11366361
this is fucking hot

It sounds moist when it's not supposed to.

>>11366371
Huh?

>>11366352
>My dad's eating noises
I feel you pain. Over ear headphones solve this problem nicely.

>>11366408
He bought Doritos yesterday, they're sitting on the countertop right now. I will need to leave the house.

>>11366352
It's like that with my sister.
She's a really pretty girl but she chews with her mouth open and the noise is so irritating...
Thankfully I only eat a meal with her once a week these days.

>>11366417
>my sister
>a very pretty girl
Fucking Americans

>>11366486
obsessed

Idk how he does it. He chews with his mouth closed but it sounds like a cow getting peanut butter off the roof of its mouth

>>11366486
Imagine being so insecure you can't admit you would fuck your sister if she wasn't related to you.

>>11366352
He must always be full then

>anybody's eating noises
I don't even like to eat with earbuds in because it just amplifies it in my head

>>11366519
Being related to them is what excite you. It's not insecurity, it's sickness.

>>11366352
>My dad is eating noises
Thats some spooky shit

>>11366578
fuck off Pajeet

>>11366714
No, its possesive not a conjunction r tard. Also my dad slurps like the dickens, any liquid, coffe, milk, water soup, you name it.

>>11366728
Contraction i meant... Guess uh im the r tard

>>11366732
Fucking embarrassing posts tbqh

>>11366743
How does this sound, i beat ya down?

>>11366746
I'll suck your dick if your wear a skirt

>>11366728
>>11366732
>He doesn't understand jokes
wew lad

>>11366352

>>11366352
My dad sounds like he's drowning when he eats and he has no idea everyone else in the room is close to vomiting bc it's so gross

>>11366519
My sister's disgusting
Shes an uglier, spindlier version of me

>>11366352
Richard d James has kids?

>>11366820
... He shouldn't eat with autists only then

My girlfriend chews too much, and way too hard. I can hear her teeth mashing together. I can't bring myself to tell her because it's petty as fuck, but Jesus christ it's driving me nuts.

>>11366361
You don't chew on a pussy you silly virgin

My gfs parents are so fat that they labor to breath and eat at the same time.
The physical exertion of eating makes them get out of breath.

They also live in an absolute pigsty
Like piles of shitty toilet paper next to the toilet style

>>11366352
Mmmmm, did I hear someone say they wanted to hear... my Dad's eating noises?

Dad's eating noises.

Dad's eating noises!

>>11366824
Post feet

I hate eating noises so much I cannot enjoy food with other people. Even I need to be wearing a headset to enjoy eating.

>>11366352
My brother's chewing sounds like someone fisting a bowl of jelly. Me and my mom have told him to chew with his fucking mouth shut to which he replies "I'm not even chewing with my mouth open I just got to breathe while eating". Inb4 you ask, yes he is fat.

>>11366352
My dad's "eating" doesn't make any particular sound but he does scratch his fork and knife across his plate in a really loud way alot which can be distracting. (Or was until I damaged the fuck out of my hearing because wageslave)

>>11366352
Have you tried earplugs? They work pretty well for me.

>>11366352
just make more noise to drown his noise out

>>11368579
>people seriously don't know how to breathe through their nose while eating at the same time

>>11368422
Demi lardner age

>>11366352
My FIL inhales his food (pursed lips and sucks wind when it is an inch in front of his fat face), bites his silverware, scratches his knife and fork against his plate to make sounds akin to nails on a chalkboard, orders his steak well done, and surfs Facebook all through dinner.

>>11366386
He said "How can you eat a noise?"

>>11368396
>he hasn't had that gumdrop pussy

MUNCH MUNCH SLURP

M U N C H

>>11366352
Eating noises get on my nerves so much.
Had a Korean roommate. Drove me bonkers.

>>11366352
yeah but what about his Google history?

This thread reminded me of my gramdad
>eating with mouth opening every few seconds
>Smack slurp
>constant growling while eating
>Smack murrr slurp grr squich

Old cunt was a annoying and hilarious to hear eating as this manner continued no matter the place or company

>>11371419
Can anyone else decipher this fucking gibberish, because for the life of me whenever I try to make sense of these moon runes I feel like I’m having a stroke.

>>11366519
I would not fugg my roastie single mom sister lmao

>>11368418
Are you that fucking desperate for hole?
I hope you knock that hog up and end up married into it.

>>11366371
Kek

>>11366728
>Dad slurps his soup
>What anon? You know in Japan its a compliment to the chef!

>>11368396
>>11371460
eating pussy sounds gross

>>11372021
How can you EAT a NOISE?

>>11372021
>>11366386
What do you not understand? Are you pretending to be a retard on purpose?

>dad

my old man makes the most obnoxious fucking noises. coughs and URGH AAAAGH eminating from the living room non stop whilst he sits with his feet on the table playing call of duty

>>11374473
STOP SPEAKING IN RIDDLES YOU FUCKING SPHYNX!

>>11368579
Americans everyone

>be filipino
>family gathering
>everyone eating with their bare hands
>ask why do they eat like that
>"what? do you want me to eat with my feet instead?"

and this is why i never have friends over for dinner or gatherings with my family.

>>11366366
t. internet tough guy

>>11374109
It's alright until they squirt in your mouth and you get told it's actually piss

My granfather in-law had a constant moan while in the act of eating, each time his jaw wags there is an audible "nom". I cracked up laughing at said "Are you seriously trying to "nom nom" or are you not aware of how stupid you sound?" After that he stopped making that sound and I don't get invited to dinner any more, a win win.

>>11375273
Have you tried adding some HEPA?

>on holiday in france
>family eating oysters together
>mother says they taste like cum

>>11368396
>You don't chew on a pussy
Not with that attitude faggot

>>11377091

>>11377091
Maybe this is more to your mothers liking

>>11377091

>>11368396
You slurp/chew it like a particularly viscous hot tomato bisque. Some light nibbling on the labias majora and minora is often appreciated. Remember its not the clitty time one woman show.

>>11366352
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7d6NmnUYXIA

>>11366728
>>11373544
>not slurping your soup for maximum broth aeration and tongue coating
>caring at all about the fragility of those next to you
Y'all got some serious growing up to do.

>>11376990
Fuck its so good tho and doesn't even taste or smell like piss because it's not puss but does come from a gland near the urethra and gets mixed with trace amounts of urine. Fuck it its so good tho when her body shudders on your face and your chin is left dripping like you just finished a warm august peach.

>>11366352
>my dad in general

>>11370810
I do this and obnoxiously imitate their retarded lip smacking because otherwise I'd end up punching them.

>>11377091
That's hot

>>11377723
Disgusting subhuman chink

>>11366352
he makes crunching noises even when he's eating beans

>>11366386
Please put on a trip so I can filter you.

the soup slurping is the worst sound i have ever heard in my life
i get agitated and angry as if my own mom and dad are doing that to piss me off deliberately
it makes me uneasy just thinking about it
its a mental defect, its the brain that is fucked up
even worse when my dad started doing it only recently

>>11377091

>>11382234
Try it, it makes your food taste better. Can't hear their sounds when you're making your own
>having to turn up the tv because potato chips are too crunchy