/ck/ - Food & Cooking

It would really fuck with them if you moved out because I'm assuming you cook for them too otherwise you wouldn't post this thread on /ck/ right?

>>11311266
No this is kitchen related and i dont cook for them.

>>11311261
you don't have to be nice about it, but don't be an asshole either because it just makes people defensive and not want to listen. if they use your stuff and don't wash it or take care of it, tell them it's disrespectful. if they still don't listen, keep your shit in your room. buy a lock if you have to. as for their dishes, just ignore it. if you need to use the sink, take their shit out and put it to the side.

>>11311319
I can't keep every food item in my room. Plus we have limited counter space. Give me devilish plans

>>11311282
Oh right, I forgot they changed the name of the board.

>>11311325
fucking with your food in the hopes that they'll eat it and suffer the consequences is technically illegal. you can try to find excuses like saying it's your food and they shouldn't have taken it in the first place, but that won't fly if you knew someone else was going to be eating it already. there isn't really much you can do like that. you can just start taking their stuff if you want some of it too though, i guess. as long as you don't do it maliciously, if they have a problem with it then maybe that'll teach them a lesson.

>>11311325
start walking around naked with an erection
be sure to scratch your asshole a lot before handling food.
Worked for me.

>>11311261
lock your shit up, and if they refuse to do their dishes, when they get in your way or just start to funk. toss em the fuck out

>>11311261
rape one guy and make the other one watch, they will leave your shit alone i guarantee you.

>>11311261
This is why you don't live with a bunch of dudes, most are filthy fucks that let their mother clean their messes for them and never learned to clean themselves.

What's the etiquette here? I'm moving in with a couple of people soon. There's already a bunch of shit in the place, so how do I bring all my kitchen gear, pots and pans etc?
Can't I just ask one of them if I can use theirs and then I'll foot the bill when we need new shit?

>>11311404
>This is why you don't live with a bunch of dude
Women are even filthier

Do exactly what he is doing. Give the exact same excuses. Bear with the filth until he has had enough. Double down on it until he is the one to go overboard yelling at you. Use it against him forever if he ever slacks again.
If he falls back into his old ways start up again. Eventually either you get your clean house or he leaves.

>>11311572
good scene good movie good song
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey bo diddley

Take pictures and post it on facebook be sure to tag them

>>11311261
thank you for reminding me why i live alone. it might be depressing as fuck but at least i won't have to deal with degenerates.

>>11311599
this, actually
and tag their mom and friends and stuff
humiliation is the only thing that will entice people to clean
i bet your roommate also has cavities and dislikes shaving

>>11311261
Dumb fuck. I learned early on, you can't change people. Especially those who are living on their own for the first time. Get one set of single-set permanent dishes, and a bunch of paper plates and plastic utensils. Don't even bother trying to change people that you're only going to know for 3 years max.

>>11311630
Yeah that's why i want to fuck with them for keks if I have to deal with it. Now give me ideas faggot

>>11311664
>keks
stop posting like you're on reddit you fucker

>>11311670
Lols laughs whatever dicknigger post some devilish things to do or fuck off. I swear people on ck rude as fuck.

>>11311330
Finally

>>11311404
Women are much much grosser, although that doesn't mean I disagree with you

>>11311712
Suck their cocks when they fall asleep.

>>11311261
put your finger in your asshole and rub it on all the dishes you clean, use the dishes you didn't put your ass on. revenge done.

>>11311261

NIbba, here's what you gotta do okay? They use your plates without asking, just use their stuff without asking. They wanna sleep. Too bad, you are using their bed, and you aint gonna make it again either. They wanna take a dump, too bad, you are in their bathroom. They wanna hang out with their girlfriend. Too bad, you are screwing her in the ass. Be alpha

>>11311261
get a job and go live on your own

>>11311330
now they just need to add '& Mcdonalds' and it'll be perfect.

just stop doing dishes and buy 100 plastic plates at walmart for like 20 bucks and keep them in your room. i had to do this once when i lived with roommates

or just talk to them

>>11311261
Fridge safe, if they're dicks enough to break these or try to get into them, there's medical lockboxes for fridges you can probably store food in.

>>11311342
This one OP

>>11311261
put the dishes in the bathtub/shower

>>11311261
Put parmesan in one of their pan and make it burn. Don't wash it.
Use their knifes on a plate to dull them.
Slighly changes the angle of their cutlery by bending them.
Use the dreaded frozen piss disk and slide it below their doors.

I've been there. This is what I have learned.
You cannot change them if they don't want to change. Stay respectful because that's the only way to live with other people. Keep your wares in your room. Get a mini fridge if you have to. If their shit is making a mess all over the kitchen for more than 72 hours, then just set it somewhere out of the way.

>>11312158
>piss discs

>>11311261
Have your own stuff you wash and hide away immediately after using it. Or get a bf to move in with.

>>11311261
Suck both of their dicks and call them gay.
If it works, they should both become so confused and ashamed they'll leave and never bother to cross paths with you ever again.
But if they like it, you're basically fucked and destined to become their personal cumslut.
Your choice.

call their parents :)

I always liked to put dilute urine on the dishes and into the drinking water

>>11312482
this is evil D:

>>11311404
This

>>11312229
You freeze piss on a plate, You slide the frozen piss under their door while they're gone, they get to wonder how someone got into their room and pissed on the floor. Make sure they lock their door, or they'll just think someone went in and peed.

It's a classic prank bro.

>>11311414
In my experience most people will let you use their cookware as long as you clean up after yourself and don't scratch the shit out of them with metal utensils.

>>11311572
Passive aggressive much?

>>11312483
you really can't make people change, but you can have them live off your piss

>>11311712
>people on /ck/ are rude as fuck
Welcome to 4chan, newfriend

>>11312495
you are so right, and i was a fool. i would die for you

If this is you, sorry bro. I usually clean whatever I use right away, but I've been really burnt out for the last few weeks.
idk why one of the others don't step up since they have like 0 classes, but I'll start doing them at night before I go to bed

>>11311712
I prefer it that way personally.

>>11312474
This doesn't work. I did this and I'm now dating one of them.
And he STILL won't dry the dishes he washed like seriously is that too much to ask?

>>11312589
>I'm now dating one of them
oh then you're just somebody's bitch

>>11311903
>>11311261
OP do not talk to them I REPEAT DO NOT TALK TO THEM they will raise their voice and be aggressive and it's really too much to handle.

>>11312589
Of course they haven't kneeled down and catered to your demands, you have to go all the way. Always push your limits.
Tell them if they don't act responsible and clean up their filthy habits like human fucking beings, that you will not hesistate to raw one of their asses down while forcibly jerking off the other at the same time.
Let them know that their delicious semen will never be safe as long as you're around.

I had the same shit. And then I nutted up and found a one bedroom that I live in by myself. Now the only bad roommate I have is me when I don't clean up. I'm thinking of getting a cat though.


post cats to convince me pls

>>11311261
>tfw my roommate keeps eating my ass

How 2 stop this madman???

Make subtle tears in all their food packaging, heat anything refrigerated in the microwave then put it back in the fridge while they're out, smear fresh cut chilies on the rims of their cups

>>11311404
Women are a mixed bag. The good ones will be clean and no drama but the bad ones will either be messier than any dude or to psychotic to be worth living with.
When I worked in hotels it was always the girls who were dirtiest

>>11311414
Establish rules and boundaries from day one.

>>11311712
You need to go back to your containment board
>>/r9k/

>>11311537
not mature ones

>>11311911
At that point I would just buy a mini fridge and put it in my room. Keep the good shit in there you don't want taken, like beer and ice cream.
Best thing is you don't have to leave your room and go all the way to the kitchen for a beer.

>>11311261
Keep a personal plate, bowl, knife, fork, and spoon. Keep it in your room, clean it in the bathtub. The kitchen sink belongs to them, they can have it.

>>11311911
*pees on your food safe and puts it back in the fridge*
enjoy
and for the record you're the asshole here for buying one of these

>>11312523
Shut up faggot. You don't know me

>>11311572
>do this
>house gets even worse
>he's fine with it
Uhhhh

>>11311261
There's something about this pepe that really troubles me. I normally don't have a problem with frog posting but this just upsets me. I'm not sure what it is but it's just deeply disturbing.

>>11311261
They're smarter than you. Washing dishes is stupid and boring. It takes less than a minute to pick up what you need when you need it and just wipe it down.

>>11311261
What I would give to have trivial college kid problems again Be a good roommate and do their dishes should you have the time. Use it as points against them when they're hurriedly trying to clean up the place at the end of your year. Also, let them use anything you have in a communal space. I'm assuming you're referring to shit like glasses/mugs/pots/pans/etc. If you don't want them using them don't put them in places they can redily acces without violating your personal space in some way (this includes places like your desk)

>>11313605
1) His name is "Apu" or "helper" or "fren"
2) If you enjoy frogposting, perhaps you should try reddit or twitter, they're probably more up you're alley. Everybody there posts 12 year old memes. You can find all the pepes, rickrolls and rage comics your heart desires.

>>11313633
So what you're saying is oldfags go to reddit and 4chan is exclusively for newfags. Thanks.

>>11313638
No, what I'm saying is that faggots like frogposters have stagnated content on this website and we've entered a perpetual hellhole of stale reposts.

>>11313640
I am 12 and what is this?

>>11312833
Cats are a big responsibility, Anon. Pic related

>>11311572
I've tried this strategy before with some previous roommates of mine. Didn't work at all. The flat just turned into a total pigsty, the kitchen was unusable, and the roommates were fine with it. As far as I can tell, the only recourse is authoritatively getting them in line.

>>11311404
Women are genuinely worse in most cases though funny enough.

>>11312962

>>11311261
You don't oif you don't want your frogposting cunt kicked in.

And before you even deny it, the fact you posted this shit here proves that if you don't sit down and shut up you'll get slapped upside your head.

Be a good beta and fuck up.

>>11314064
I'm legit stronger than all of them and could easily kick each one's ass. I'm not a nigger though so my first reaction isnt physical violence that would get me arrested

>>11313605
frogposters are all newfag cancer from one of those 2 cancerous boards no-one likes, just report and ignore his posts like everyone else does

>>11312589
you're not nearly as funny as you think you are

>>11312491
>"Anon why is there a piss soaked dinner plate in the community freezer?"

>>11311261
let the grime grows in their plates and once it started revolting, just throw them away in the early morning garbage truck.

>>11311325
There's this stuff called bitrex, it's used in a lot of products to stop children and animals drinking it. Entirely non-toxic, just insanely bitter. I'm sure you can figure out some way to use the stuff.

>>11311261
Put that shit in their room/shower when they are away. Lock your shit up though.