/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11195889
>YOU
>C'MERE
>Y-yes chef?
>WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
>ITS FUCKING DRIPPING
>*tips liquid all over floor*
>IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL A FUCKING SAUCE?
>C-chef that's a s-soup
>YOU FUCKING DONKEY

>>11195889
>YOU
>C'MERE
>"y-yes chef?"
>WHAT WAS THE MOST POPULAR ANIMATED FILM OF 2013?
>"it was Frozen chef"
>FUCK ME

this thread can't die

>>11197133
this

>>11195889
>Is the chef a hack?
>"/ck/ will d-defend this..."
>FUCK IT OFF

>>11195889
>HEY. YOU. YEAH YOU. C'MERE.
>y-yes chef?
>WHATS THE BEST FAST FOOD SANDWHICH?
>F-for me i-t's the McChicken, C-Chef
>Good, that's right, back in line

>>11195889
>YOU
>C'MERE
>Y-yes chef?
>Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus...

>YOU. HERE, TOUCH THIS, JUST TOUCH THIS
>It's uh- it's cold chef.
>ICE COLD, ICE FUCKING COLD.
>It's icecream chef
>Icecream i'll tell you what it is IT'S RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

>put the olive oil in pan... sizzling hot...

I AINT NO BITCH CHEF

>"Is this made in-house?"
>W-well chef it's a Chateau Lafite, import-
>"Unbelievable."
>"Where's your self-respect as a chef?"

>>11196138
kek

>>11196138
Underrated

>>11195889
Fuck I hate this thread

>>11197144
Damn straight, the only realistic one

>OI YOU C'MERE
>yes chef
>FUCK OFF
>thank you chef

>>11196138
/thread

>>11197636
>heat
>on
>pan
>nice and hot
>olive oil
>in
>on
>in
>in
>on
>in

This fucking thread has me in stitches. Post more of this shit.

>>11195889
>YOU
>C'MERE
>y-yes chef
>WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
>it's dubstep Chef
>THE FUCKING BASS IS FUCKING RAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW

>>11198365
I can hear it.

its fun to joke about ramseys demand for excellence, but when it comes to spending good money on a meal out wouldnt you prefer a head chef like that?

>wow, that's cooked beautifully
>it's seasoned to perfection
>this is you on a plate

>>11200138
You're looking for Rawstyle then, Chef.

>>11195889
>hey you donkey, you like watching TV?
>"yes chef"
>what's your favorite show?
>"it's WWE Raw, Chef"
>FUCK ME SIDEWAYS

>you call this a burger?
>y-yes chef
>IT'S BURNT! toss it out!
>yes chef
>...fuck me
>yes chef
>*unzips dick*

>>11195889
>*fire*
>Oh my god!
>Leave it.
>LEAVE IT!
>LEAVE IT!!!
>JUST FUCKING LEAVE IT!!!
>You're gonna blow fire in your face, you FUCKING DONKEY!

>>11197144

>Right, fuck me, bring the etouffee
>"Here you are Mr. Ramsay"
>Oh my god...
>Look at it...
>"Sorry, something wrong?"
>*grabs a handful and squishes it as it runs down his arm*
>Oh my god...
>Look!
>*holds up the plate and let's half of it slide off into the table*
>What have you done to it...
>"I-I dont know what you mean Mr. Ram-"
>LOOK AT IT
>*picks up the rice with his hand to show the owner*
>"Uh-"
>*starts digging his hands through the entire dish*
>LOOK!
>*starts throwing rice around*
>"I'll go tell the che-"
>Why are you doing this to me
>*slams a handful of shrimp down on the table*
>Wow, absolutely dreadful. Etoufee, huh? More like Shitoufee.

>>11201185
kek

>>11196138
kek

>>11198347
reduced to a thick glaze
>>11198365
bold

>>11195889
>Is the ice cream fresh?
>Yes, our nonna makes it fresh every day with the milk and eggs from our own farm

>>11201197
Holy fuck how thick is that crust?

>>11200250
>demand for excellence
>adds oil to pasta water
Choose one. He’s the fucking GOAT uberhack.

>>11201688
That's the thin crust.

>HEY MONKEY
>Yes chef?
>I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BE HAPPY
>I'm trying chef but we're all out of smiles
>Then get over here and hug me you fuckin idiot
>Y-yes chef
>SEE ISNT THAT BETTER
>It sure is chef
>NOW GO SPREAD THE SMILE TO THE CUSTOMER

>>11201128
that's just a straight up quote

>>11196138
I don't get it.

>>11202070

>>11196138
kek'd hard and loud

>>11201772
>not putting oil in pasta water
sous chef tier post

>Is this an original post?
>"No chef, it's the same joke we make every thread''
>Fuck me..!

>YOU
>FUCKING C'MERE ALREADYYYY
>what is this?
>"Sushi, chef"
>Why is it raw?
>"I'm sorry chef"
>Damn
>*Punches sushi*
>FUCKING right your soRRY!
>Do it again!

>>11196138

>>11196138
lawl

>>11201772

Stops the pan boiling over once the starch starts coming out of the pasta, with no effect on the end product. If you use olive oil instead of a cheaper oil you're retarded, but I guess that would make no difference in your case anyway.

>>11196138

pretty good

My favorite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPpzJAzdpTU

>oi, you, come 'ere
>this here pizza, is it fuckin' delivered?
>no chef, i..it's digiorno
>fuckin' 'ell

>>11201976
Stop.

>>11202389

Underrated.

>>11196138

>>11203038
That's not much of a parody though. Masterchef episodes are pretty much 100% exactly this, there is no exaggeration.

>>11202389
>>11203089
samefag

>>11203014
>with no effect on the end product
It makes it harder for sauce to stick to the pasta, unless you're using an oil/butter sauce I guess. And it's just wasteful. You can stop it from boiling over by using a larger pot, or just turning down the heat a little bit. There's no real good reason to add oil to the water that can't be easily accomplished in another way.

Haha this is still funny the 800th time

>>11203513
>you, come 'ere
>this meme fresh?
>n..no chef
>aight, good on yah

>C'MERE
>yes chef
>WHAT KIND OF MEAT IS THIS IT'S FUCKING DRY
>prosciutto that was aged for 12 months
>FUCK ME

>>11196138
saw it on r*ddit. I only browse the frontpage so I can expose your kind. everyone who laughed at this is r*ddit.

>>11201981
I like you, Anon

>>11203513
you’re a big guy

>"How's the yogurt?"
>It's frozen, chef...
>"fuckin hell..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWa3HrZMT0U

>>11195889
>DO I NEED TO UNBURY HITLER TO SHOW YOU HOW A FUCKING OVEN WORKS?

>>11203107
My 38-year-old black coworker did this dance on some scaffolding in the shadow of an aircraft carrier today. I just wanted to tell somebody.

>>11204033
Now THIS is epic

>>11195889
>is that Black Panther?
>no, it's Frozone
>fucking niggers

>>11204033
big if true

>>11204520
KEK

>>11196138

>bloody hell
>WAITRESS
>yes sir?
*picks apart everything with fork*
>this is just falling apart

>>11204033
>I only browse the front page so I can expose you

"I only watch gay porn so I can expose people who are gay!"

Just admit you go to reddit, its not like you'll instantly be murdered by the 4chan Gestapo From Space.

>>11204077
UUUU

>WAITER, COME HERE
>y-yes sir?
>THIS IS FUCKING RARE
>uhh it's an alpha Black Lotus a-sir

> oi c'mere you
> is this ice fresh?
> yes chef
> where do you keep it stored
> In the freezer, chef
> absolutely disgraceful

>>11196138
Super fucking kek

>>11204033
Reddit is an entire website full of retarded chimps with typewriters. You do the math, then fuck off back there you retarded chimp

>>11206707
good man

>>11198365
you fucking basssstard

>>11207700
I had an Unlimited Lotus, but it was in fucking awful shape and looked like somebody ran it through a fucking washing machine

Where does Gordon Ramsey shop for food? He always has so many exotic ingredients on hand whenever I see his home-cooking videos and even has shit like milk in glass bottles. It blows my mind.

>>11204520
Nice

>>11208872
You can get exotic ingredients by mail-ordering them from the internet.

>>11196138
Holy shit that was 2013?
Goddamn

>>11204033
>"people who laughed at it are reddit"
>when people from reddit will already have seen it
Not the sharpest tool in the shed, huh?

>>11207700
>if you didn't play it from your hand, you lose the game
Are there cards to summon this to your opponents field? They'd lose since it wasn't from their hand.

>>11196138

>>11201207
I'm quite proud that I'm in that image twice

>>11209131
SOMEBODY

>>11204808
Nice

>>11209883
Tons. Anything that says something to the effect of "search target player's library for a creature card and put it into play" would work here. There are probably a million options. I haven't been current since Apocalypse.

>>11195889

>>11206267
Fucking underrated.

Is Ramsay a redpilled Guy? He seems pretty fucking based when he’s not in a reality show

Someone cap all the good ones.

>>11196138

>>11207707
Were your bear pajamas made fresh today, you cow?

>>11198347
Ive just woke my wife up laughing at this

>>11210054
Which ones

>>11201185
Underrated

>>11201185
this is spot on, mate. have an upvote, kind sire