/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>his mom asks me to make fried chicken
>make incredible shallow fried chicken in my big cast iron skillet
>dank af
>make all the sides
>parents won't eat the chicken
>she made microwaved hot dogs and baked beans instead
>husband can tell I'm upset
>talks to his dad in the other room
>"I'm not eating that pretentious crap!"
>it's literally just fried chicken and mashed potatoes that SHE requested
>lemon pie for dessert
>in the car on the way home he cheers me up
>I tell him "If your parents keep it up I swear to god I'm sleeping with your best friend"
>We laugh. it becomes a running joke.
>my birthday comes up
>want to go out
>his mom insists on cooking instead
>Banquet chicken pot pies with boiled potatoes and salad with onions
>she knows I can't eat raw onions
>"Instead of cake I made you a lemon pie anon"
>she's openly fucking with me now

cont.

>>11172223

>she asks me to make dinner again
>I make most pretentious recipe I can find
>duck confit, red wine reduction, fondant potatoes, haricot verts
>only make enough for two
>this time she didn't make a second dinner
>"Sorry I would have brought more but I figured you guys would be having your own meal"
>we share tiny portions, dad is grumbling to himself
>am I finally winning?
>for dessert I break out a lemon pie
>not MY recipe, her perversion of my recipe
>"I made a lemon pie too anon, why don't you take yours home with you and we'll have ours"
>build up to Christmas, still trying to impress them
>make raspberry linzers, Turkish delight, chocolate covered almond macaroons, apple strudel
>she makes some tough, dry pound cake that she makes every year
>everyone eats my cookies
>"Remember your grandmother's strudel anon? Now THAT was REAL strudel"
>she gives me a gift
>hopefully this is a sign that she wants us to be cool again
>nope, it's a lemon pie
>don't visit for a long time

>>11172224

>husband starts pressuring me
>"they really like you! they want to see you!"
>she makes spaghetti
>jar of Ragu with a cup of sugar added
>"what do you think of dinner anon?"
>I don't answer, just go "hmmmm"
>"What do you think though, do you like it?"
>"No it's terrible. Everything you make is trashy, flavorless memefood. I hate all of it. Especially your horrible lazy lemon pie"
>"Hmmm well anon likes my cooking don't you anon?"
>husband complains frequently that he can't stomach her food
>we both glare at him waiting for a response
>"I... um... uh... yeah mom of course I love everything you cook"
>a smug smile curls across her face
>"everything you BOTH cook..."
>I look right at him.
>"I'm sleeping with your best friend"
>he's trying to contain his laugh but still snickering
>his parents are dead silent
>his mom: "I told you she was a whore when you married her"

Nobody cares, you vapid, self obsessed roastie whore. Literally and unironically kys yourself.

>>11172233
Well... I never...
Harumph.
I Remember When CK Used To Be Gud .png

So did you fuck his best friend?

The ending could have been better.

who the fuck is actually going to read all that

>>11172219
BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

>>11172258

>>11172250
LoL no... his friends are gross... besides the point of putting up with his parents and their baby palates is that I love him. It was only ever a joke.

>>11172256
The point of the ending is that they had already made up their minds about me before any of this even started.

>>11172264
Palettes*

>>11172225
>>11172224
>>11172223
>>11172219
God I hate flyovers. I know most stories on 4chan are fake, but I relate too much to this story. My fiancee is from WV, and when I stayed at her parent's , EVERYTHING was from a can or some kind of premix garbage. Not just home cooking but restaurants too, most of it just microwaved garbage.

MIL (let's call her Peggy) tried to make some fried chicken and mashed potatoes. She used premixed fucking powder potatoes and the chicken was "fried" in cold oil so the skin was a soggy goopy mess.

So on our last couple days I offered to cook a meal. I started early making a nice demiglace for the chicken jus, bought some fresh vegetables from the local farmer's market and roasted them in a pan with herbs. Simple, delicious meal. DIL's eyes fucking popped out of his head. He couldn't stop raving about how delicious and wonderful my meal was.

But Peggy couldn't hide the disdain on her face, she literally had a sour fucking scowl on her face the whole time, and made a bunch of low key remarks like "It's great but I just can't find the time to cook like this" (She is a housewife, with grown kids)

It's funny how defensive and angry people get when the possibility of them being a bad cook or having a shit palate is brought up

That was an underwhelming ending, OP. I'd say your husband is a mommas boy but you married a soyboy with shitty boomer parents. You reap what you sow.

>>11172287
>Believing the story

What happened to the average iq on 4chan?

>>11172293
>criticizing a green text means anon believes it
Storytelling is an art. Whether it's true or not doesn't matter if it's not ultimately entertaining.

fffffffffFFFFFFUCK I HATE WOMEN GOD DAMNIT I HATE THEM SO MUCH

>>11172310
They probably hate you too desu

>>>/r9k/

who the fuck cares
>>>/blogspot/
dumb roastie -10/10 made me reply

>>11172327
>>>/reddit/ you redditspacing useless vagina

>>11172225
I have similar stories, except i gave up trying immediately and stopped showing up. she apologized after 9 years.

>>11172219
>>11172223
>>11172224
>>11172225

I don't understand.. basically the whole story

>>11172370
It boils down to OP and her MIL are passive aggressive, petty bitches. Women don't perceive each other as equals but as rivals. Always.

>>11172277
No

Now that you've dominated his ilk culinarily and demonstrated their lack of worth you should leave them with child and find a stronger mate like you've been subconsciously suggesting.

>>11172219
Who are you quoting?

Idk op rednecks love my food but then again I'm not a stuck up bitch

>>11172219
Should've started pissing in their meals everytime you cooked for 'em, ungrateful sods

>>11172219
I mean men do try and one-up eachother at times but holy fuck that's autistic. If she's being a cunt, you'd be wise to just let it be. She wants to "win" and there isn't a big chance she'll uncuntify herself.

>>11172281
Try me you demi-witted city slicker

>>11172411
I don't understand her MIL's constant making of the same pie over and over. If she acts like a cunt, it might be a sign of dementia/alzheimers. Idk how old she is though.

>>11172396
This OP.

If you'd had a decent conversation with the in-laws and actually shared some excitement and affection for them I'm sure your relationship would be better.

y'know, instead of being a cunt.

>>11172419
No, OP don't listen to this jamboree fest of a fool, bake a pie and stuff in that fat fuck's face.

>>11172418
I don't get why she made the same pie all the time either.

I think she expected that if I gave her my recipe her pie would magically be as good as mine was.

Maybe she thought I gave her a faulty recipe?

Her problem was that she was using the cheapest grocery store lemons, she wasn't putting enough sugar in the pie, she wasn't letting it marinate overnight, she wasn't removing the seeds... she was committed to throwing a few whole lemons in her food processor and grinding them up and adding eggs and stuffing it into a frozen pie shell...

I think when her recipe turned out bad she decided it was my fault and she was going to punish me for it.

>>11172246
Well you aren't contributing much quality content either.. This is not your personal blog y'know.

>>11172233
fpbp

>>11172433
Boomers always try to get by with the cheapest way they can. Especially with food, they grew up during the depression and right after where you reuse everything. Waste not want not, it drove me crazy with my grandparents when I wanted to make something with them and they said "it's just a substitution. It's fine if we leave x out"

>>11172433
If I was her I'd feed you something infested with botulism and chalk it up to a horrible tragedy.

>>11172445
Even the cheap lemons would have been passable if she did everything else right.

The pie is supposed to come out like a lemon flavored chess pie with pleasant slivers of whole lemon in it. Like a pecan pie but with lemons instead of pecans.

Her pie was dense, like a mincemeat pie, consisting of mostly ground lemon with the seeds in it.

She didn't seem tounderstand the importance of taking time to prepare the filling correctly.

>>11172445
>they grew up during the depression
kindly fuck off

>>11172445
lol boomers grew up during the depression
lol just lol
LOL

>>11172293
that story was so boring, underwhelming and utterly uneventful that I see no reason to doubt it happened
probably the worst greentext I ever read

>>11172219
I know this feel

>>11172225
>using meme terms in real life

I regret reading this. You owe us a satisfying ending, OP. Tell us the part where you beat your MIL and your husband to death.

>>11172455
>>11172480
This.

Boomers' parents grew up during the Depression.
Boomers grew up in the age of refrigeration and mass distribution. They grew up in the golden age of preservatives. Advertisers ran amok with the American palette.

Boomers lived through essentially a food-quality-holocaust, the industrial destruction of American cuisine as our food became as industrialized as everything else was becoming. "Flyover" states may not have had a huge variety of cuisine, but it heralded strongly from middle/northern Europe and bloomed in the American frontier.

Superior preservation and it's consequences have been a disaster for the American palette.

My gf's parents have an autismal diet and will literally invite people over for dinner parties and restaurants and have nothing and no meal plans, they just eat some tomatoes cheese and wine for their entire diet. Took me two times coming over to realize I could just bring in whatever and use their kitchen to make my best for whoever else is there. They're really nice people, its just her dad is ex-obese and is deathly afraid to store any energy, and evem back when they did cook it was meme casserole every day

>>11172433
Was she ever a good cook?

>>11172551
I don't know. My husband did tell me a pretty sad story about her once though.

I guess she tried to make an Olive Garden tier boomeritaliano fried lemon chicken dish for him when he was a kid and his dad wouldn't let her put it on the table.

She had to make a whole new dinner. She gave the leftovers to her neighbor next door and apparently he really liked them.

>>11172258
Delicious

What's your plan here? Alienate you step patents and put pressure on your husband? You're basically making him choose if he cares more about your feelings or his parents'. Why the fuck are women like this?

When you're at her house, she cooks and you eat. When she's at your house, you cook and they eat.

Dumb cunts the lot of you, feeling so hard about food that you forget you're family. Who cares if she doesn't approve of you? She's literally baiting you with trollface tactics and you fall for it every time.

>>11172350
"Only redditors mention reddit"
Lurk more

>>11172219
>>11172223
>>11172224
>>11172225
All this whinging and you don't even post the pie recipe, fuck off

>>11172445
holy shit open a history book you fucking retard

>>11172662
https://www.saveur.com/article/Recipes/Shaker-Lemon-Pie#page-2

Idk why everyone hates your story, OP. I doubt any of it is true, but it I thought it was funny.

>>11172445
boomers were born after WW2, the Depression was ended with wartime economy pumping loads of government dollars into the economy.

>>11172647
>""

>>11172219
I had a room mate, and GF that cooked better than my mom. Even though I've broken up with the GF my mom has asked me to call her and ask her how to do shit. Even with that said, if my mom asked if I like her cooking I would feel compelled to say yes even though it tends to be a lot more bland compared to people I know that are actually decent cooks.

>>11172603
Not fake greentext story anon but here. It doesn't matter what you do. You could sit there and take it for 30 years and nothing would change. They still hate you, you could rave about the food you hate and be nice and she would still hate you, still shit on you and still put pressure on the husband to leave you. There is nothing you can do other than not go over and not interact, which would also lead to pressure to break up.

>>11172219
>>be me

Maybe it's time to go back to redd*t

>>11172219
>trying to impress other people
the path of misery is a tricky one

>>11172741
Yeah. My mom isn't the greatest cook. But if she ever asked for reassurance I'd say she's a great cook. I've only ever said I disliked one dish she made my entire life and that was after eating it 3-4 times.
She makes killer fried okra and cornbread, though. Also got pretty good at BBQ ribs after a few tries.

>>11172293
It was so long and boring I believe it.

>>11172746
But that's completely wrong you defeatist asshole. What a completely

>>11172746
But that's completely wrong you defeatist asshole. What a completely speculative negative bitchy thing to say

I wasn't mad at him for telling his mom that he liked her cooking btw, I expected him to say that.

I've just given up and now he visits them alone.

>>11172868

Take the edge down a few notches. In these situations there's not a lot you can do except inflame the problem.

>>11172224
>haricot verts
Tf are those?

>>11173166
green beans... but it sounds more pretentious when you say it in French

>>11173140
How does your hubby feel about that? I usually go out with my bf and his parents because he doesn't like being around his family that much and want to support him.

>>11173190
He's fine with it. He'd prefer that we were all happy but since it's not like that he understands it's best that we stay away from each other for the time being.

>>11173271
Fair nuff.

>>11172219
it only escalated to this level because you're both passive aggressive fucks who'd rather win points than speak the fuck up and say stop that shit

>>11172603
Women are parasites and involvement with other people compromises their host.

>>11172603
Marriedfag

OP is in the right. Husband needs to buck up and tell Mom to fuck off. A marriage does not need to be influenced by the parents of either person. You leave your parents to become one together.

I don't know why people still talk to their parents after they move out. If I never saw my fucking retard parents again it'd be too soon.
Where can I find a husband who hates his parents as much as I hate mine? In fact I was thinking of learning another language and moving to another country to get married to a native there, because my parents are monolingual and don't have passports. And if it comes to his parents, god forbid I have to ever meet them, but if so, I could just do that "no speaka da lingua" act so at least I don't have to talk to them.

>>11172219
FUCK DA MODS
BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

>>11172511
>palette

>>11173419
Can't wait until you have kids and your kid hates you even more than you hate your parents. You fucking piece of shit.

>>11173419
Parents are like anything else. It's a lottery. Some people have awful parents, some people have fantastic ones. I'm sorry to hear that your parents sucked, but that's certainly not the case for everyone.

>>11173483
say that to my face faggot!

>>11172225
Tits or gtfo

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

>I tell him "If your parents keep it up I swear to god I'm sleeping with your best friend"

Yikes.

>>11172225
>>11172224
>>11172223
>>11172219
If I wanted a long ass blog about nothing I would go to Allrecipes.com. at least there I would get the pie recipe

Shit that never happened for $500

>>11172771
says the guy with the reddit spacing
">be me" started on 4chan, nufriend

>>11172264
>lol no his friends are gross
>not lol no he's my fucking husband and I would never cheat on him
Fucking women

>>11172219
Maybe your SO's parents do not hate your cooking but rather hate you because you're a petty bitch

>Not making chess pie
You deserve shitty lemon pie

>>11172225
You really need to stop giving a fuck what two white trash idiots think of you.

My girlfriends parents don't like me, but her dad's been to prison a bunch, and her mom's borderline retarded. They think I'm pretentious and my methods of teaching my girlfriend are 'abusive' by acting condescending. Her mom has complexes she's held onto since highschool about being dumb, and she once had an abusive husband, it's all I ever heard about from her.

I lived with her, she'd jump into every single little fight we had, it was like having to date them both.

Stop caring, it's only gonna upset you.

>>11173329
Also married fag. Been together 12 years married for 5. We dealt with shit like this but far more extreme. Not going into details because fuck writing the 7 pages of context you would need. Long story short she disowned her family on Christmas last year. Our marriage is the best it's ever been and she's far more happier then she's ever been. Luckily my family is caring and treats/calls her daughter etc. It starts with food, it will become other things. No matter how fucking fake they hug you or any of that shit, the resentment is there and will always be, even after 12+ years. Cut the fucking cord if it turns into a downward spiral. took my wife maybe 3 months to finally be over it. They never called, showed up to her work, came by our house to try to get their daughter back. They've called once and left 2 texts guilting her of what she's done. Fuck Toxic People.

>>11172219
I have the same situation as op.
When they have "pasta" for dinner, it's overcooked spaghetti and ketchup. That's it.
Once i made carbonara, and his father immediately before tasting it poured ketchup over his serving. Luckily I was speachless.

>>11173918
>>11173965
>>11173967
stop blogposting, unsubscribe

>>11173972
Cool comment friend. Way to add to the conversation at hand.

Normally 99% of "women" posters are just dudes roleplaying fir easy (you)s. But this OP is so utterly mediocre that I think this might actually be a woman.

>>11172233
Fpbp

>>11172453
I had the same situation with tzatziki salad and my MIL. I told her to let cucumbers rest salted after slicing with mandolin and to squeeze the accumulated liquid after, naturally she slipped it, used liquid yoghurt instead of greek one and called my recipe a soupy fail. I gave up at that point entirely

>women

>>11174013
Yeah, they suck (dick) /iwish

>>11174010
Skipped*

>>11173644
Anon posted the recipe. You'd see if it you read the fucking thread.

>>11173965
Why do Boomers rely on guilt tripping as a means of getting what they want? And why when you point it out as they do it do they immediately forget what they said and deny it?

>>11172224
>Make something fancy
>Haricot verts

French = fancy, i guess

Also this never happened

Well this is just about the worst thread on this God forsaken website at the moment. Congrats you fuckers

>>11174350
This isn't /co/

>>11172281
Don't out do a women in her own kitchen.

A lesson my dad taught me.

>>11173972
Neck yourself

>tfw dating girl whose parents are both into cooking
>garden fresh ingredients
>high quality meats
>homemade meals and family recipes

>>11173980
I don't have to add to shit for it to still be a pile of shit, fucker

>>11174443
pls delete

>>11174443
>bf's older uncle lives in the middle of nowhere in the south surrounded by wilderness, independent farms, and shit
>family reunion BBQ with a bunch of chill old people
>absolutely no fighting
>drinking, guns, and dogs
>everyone works together to clean up the next day even while hungover
Felt like I was among my kind for the first time in my life despite many of them being twice my age.

>>11172257
Me

>>11173972
You unsub by leaving the fucking thread you stupid cunt

>>11173837
Maybe they hate her because they're petty? Maybe they're both petty and hate each other because of it.

>>11172225
>>11172224
>>11172223
>>11172219
I'm sorry you don't get along with your husbando's parents femanon (or really twinky gayboi anon who can pass as female in front of parents). Parent's are, yknow, parents. You can't really expect your husbando to disown his parents.

Just be fucking adults about it. "Your mom doesn't like me and I don't like her, shits really awkward. I probably shouldn't visit". And then stand firm. Be polite but distant. You married your husband, not her. By the same token you should obviously make a good faith attempt to bond with your in-laws but it sounds like you've done that.

>>11174528
Sounds pathetic, even for a flyover, but maybe try that spiel out in front of Sally Sue (wife of Billy Bob owner of the only gas station in town), production manager at KLSR-TV, for a /pol/ advert in your ghastly shithole.

>>11172219
T L
............................................................................................................................................
DR

>>11172233
fbpb
>>11172225
show tits bitch.

I always get along with my girlfriends dads but I never get along with their mothers. If I were you OP I would just stop trying. Not giving a shit anymore is very freeing. Don't be downright rude but stop putting so much effort into it. Who cares? Fuck em.

>>11172219
You had enough time to write all that shit out, as well as point out your gender, but didn't post your tits? Fuck you, OP.

>>11172281
>Tfw I had parents like this
>Tfw I told them at 12 their cooking was sending me to an early grave and I'd be cooking for myself from now
>Expect some bawwing and denial of the truth, along with a refusal to allow me to cook
>To my shock not only did they admit they had babby palates, they fully supported me and bought whatever ingredient/cookbook/cookware I asked for
>Mfw
I guess its hard to deny when your 200 pound 12 year old son is telling you you're killing him with your shit palate

>>11172219
>>11172223
>>11172224
>>11172225
based and redpilled

>>11172445
>they grew up during the depression
lol you dumb as hell

this was incredibly boring to read

>>11172433
autists here dont understand how irrational and petty people can be.

>>11173419
>Where can I find a husband who hates his parents as much as I hate mine?
where you at?

>>11172225
I read it all. Liked it. Not ashamed.

>>11173419
you know anon, some people have good relationships with their parents. it's kinda weird to project your hatred of your own onto others. if you wind up in a relationship with someone whose parents are decent people it's like getting two friends for free
that said, I mostly don't interact with my parents. where do you live?

>>11172219

>I'm such an awesome, reasonable person who is good at cooking and she's such a dumb ignorant bitch who can't cook for shit.
>everything she did was unreasonable and its all so unfair on me, I didn't do anything and I'm the one who has to suffer.

I can't imagine what the other 3 posts were like.
That attitude is so incredibly womanlike I could almost accept this as being real.

>>11174912
No u

>>11172223

>can't eat raw onions

>>11172233
Fpbp

>>11172219
ah yes, the wife vs the mother-in-law cooking
comedy gold!
who will be able to cook the best meal for the biggie boy this time!?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V2sBURgUBI

>>11172225
>>I look right at him.
>>"I'm sleeping with your best friend"
>>he's trying to contain his laugh but still snickering
>>his parents are dead silent
>>his mom: "I told you she was a whore when you married her"
haha those stupid boomers amiright?
not even realizing that everything you say is supposed to mean the opposite of what you say hahahaha

>>11172269
>The point of the ending is that they had already made up their minds about me before any of this even started.
They sound 100% right about you though. I don't like you either.
Making false claims about adultery at the dinner table is about as low class as it gets. You sound like a huge bitch and your husband sounds like a nu-male faggot. The only people who sound reasonable in this story are actually the in-laws.

>>11176623
>What is a joke
>What is exaggeration
>What is something so preposterous its funny
You sound like a lot of fun anon

>>11176657
What's the joke exactly?
Saying that you slept with his friend?
Uh..wow, good one.

>>11176662
Anon pls

>>11172219
Share your lemon pie recipe here cunt.

>>11172219
Your husbands parents are disgusting toxic fucks trying to ruin your relationship. They're trying to be passive aggressive with the food to gaslight you into getting upset and then pitting themselves against you. Who do love more we're your parents etc... They'll always choose them over you.

I don't really know what to tell you honestly. I would probably just refuse to go. But I'm sure that's something they want. And I'm sure you're husband will side with them. They always side with them.

>>11172225
Women were a fucking mistake

>>11172281
WV is on the coast, you faggy coasties have to own that one.

>>11176707
>toxic
You have to go back. (to reddit)

>>11172233
This

>>11172225
joking about cheating on your husband is like joking about suicide. You might both laugh but why would you joke about it if that's all it was.

>>11176825
She's already fucking someone else its not a joke.

>>11172281
talk about my grandmother

I think it's an older generation thing and once they all die out the world will be a better place

>>11176856
That's not how it works. You end up turning into them and then a bunch if angst zoomers are going to want you dead for the same reason. It's an infinite cycle.

>>11172225
wheres the joke

>>11176936
>A woman being funny ever

>>11176867
nah we grew up with the internet. We'll never be so ignorant to not know how to look up how to do a recipe the right way, or read about our health, among many other things

>>11172219
Never post here again u nasty thot

>>11172445
boomers did not grow up during the great depression, you mongoloid. they grew up during the most prosperous years in american history. they're the most entitled generation, and everything was handed to them on a silver plate, and they still managed to fuck everything up.

>>11176994
kekd 2bh

>>11172219
>>11172223
>>11172224
>>11172225
The mom will never not be a cunt. Dont even bother anymore with dinners. Go for holidays, bring chips. Seriously cunty women like that will never stop or try to play nice.
My ex's mom was a cunt to me even though I was always polite and courteous to her. eventually i just gave up and pretty much ignored her if we ever had to go out for a birthday or something, or I'd say i had to work and just hang out at home. Older people will rarely change their ways

>>11172219
>it's bitter af, inedible
>"mmmmmmm it's really good..."
your dishonesty is a catalyst for your misery
straighten yourself out anon

>>11177384
Yep, OP failed a shittest.

>>11172246
fuck off and die dumb roastie

>>11172233
fpbp /thread

>Read OP's fucking blogpost
>mfw my bitch mother in law is moving 900 km away after her 3rd divorce

>>11174326
>guilt tripping
>gaslighting
#justboomerthings

what are some other traits

>>11176730
>WV is on the coast
no it isn't

Here is the recipe for the lemon pie... again:
https://www.saveur.com/article/Recipes/Shaker-Lemon-Pie

>>11172233
Fpbp

>marrying someone from a shit family
Lol have fun if your SO goes louty or lame. Dealing with that without a good support from their family will surely be easy!

>>11172225
Get your husband to stop being a coward and tell the truth, so that you don't have to have such a dishonest relationship with his parents. Being polite is one thing, letting a relationship sour and become toxic to the point of greentext-worthy shenanigans is another.

>be me
>love my mom and my wife
>just want them to get along
>they constantly do lame passive aggressive shit over fucking food
>They want me to choose between them instead of burying their dumb catty bullshit and learning to coexist

>>11176662
She literally explained that it was an in-joke in the story, and said her husband laughed when she said it at the table (ie, he really took it as a joke, and wasn't secretly worried about it - otherwise he wouldn't have found it funny in a serious context).

>>11178168
If your wife is being needlessly vindictive and hateful towards your mother for no reason, she sounds like a terrible person and you probably shouldn't have married her. If you are lying to protect your mom's feelings at the cost of your wife's feelings then you need to stop being a bitch and stand up to your mom.

>>11173723
Exactly. She'll cheat soon as a non-"gross" friend comes into the picture.

>>11172440
>>11174005
>>11174975
>>11176564
>>11177581
>>11177995
At least try to make the samefagging a little less obvious, fucking hell.

>>11178183
>both of you fucking stop
>no more cooking when we hang out we will eat out and y'all can pretend to like eachother for a couple hours
Seriously I can't tell you the amount of women I've been in relationships with and I hated their mother. I never brought it up. If I told a woman everyone around her that I didn't like I'd never get laid.

>>11178168
tell some stories

The worst my sister does to me is that she critiques my food to improve them so they suit her taste but can't take even the slightest critique of her food from her husband and says, "Just tell me it's good :((("
She also licked the knife between slicing pieces of cake and it fucking grossed me out. Told her not to fucking do it and get a new knife. Asked her why she was doing it, "Habit." was her answer. No apology, nothing. Makes me not want to eat her cooking. Probably has gobs of her saliva in it.

>>11178235
Read the OP. I was being a smart ass to put things into perspective.

hey man, anyone got that picture of the soyboy that eats pizza with knife and fork ?

>>11172219
giv /ck/ wife

>>11178183
Not her fault your mother is a whore

>>11178251
if OP's husband was a man he'd tell both of them to fucking stop with a healthy serving of backhand

>>11175854
That’s because a woman wrote it

>>11172571
Sounds like he’s a piece of shit

>>11176760
Only redditors mention Reddit
Stop it

>>11172233

>>11172233
>t. incel

>>11172293
Coming from flyoverville, it's believable

>>11172350
Touch a nerve, incel?

>>11178255
If you are referring to the average coastie webm, of course I have it.

>>11172233
Based

>>11178771
He's not even using the fork and knife correctly.

test

>>11178771
Do you think he sucks cock like that? All hesitant and worried that it's going to get all over his face?

>>11173620
This.

>>11179936
It's working

>>11172391
It’s a greentext story. Welcome newfriend.

>>11179974
He's referencing a meme. Welcome newfriend.

>>11178235
how are you this stupid...?

>>11172233
>>11172310
>>11172348
>>11172350
>>11172374
>>11172396
>>11172419
>>11173316
>>11176950
>>11177515
>>11178399
The fox and the grapes in full effect.

>>11178771
thank you very much!

> marrying someone when you don't even like their in-laws

Dumbass

>>11172219
>>11172223
>>11172224
>>11172225
>Trying to impress plebs
>Caring if plebs like you
End yourself or you know, just don't eat their shit and laugh at your husbands horrible attempts to stomach it

>>11172233
this. 4 walls of greentext nothing happens. Bitch to your "bff".

Lads, why do women prattle on and on and on and on and on about themselves endlessly as if anyone else cares? They take a one-minute cute little story and drag it out to twenty excruciating minutes of banal yapping. How can you be this self-absorbed and oblivious?

>>11180001
The virgin incels don’t even know what you mean. I do and I think you’re right.

>>11172219
Post the recipe please. I'm craving lemon pie right now

>>11180670
Female jewtubers are unwatchable for this reason. Every time I'm like get to the point you dumb cunt

My mother, all female relatives, pretty much all make the same foods they learned in the 90s

>>11172223
>>11172224
>>11172219
>>11172225
>>11180687
https://www.saveur.com/article/Recipes/Shaker-Lemon-Pie

>>11172223
>I tell him "If your parents keep it up I swear to god I'm sleeping with your best friend"
stopped reading there

>>11180677
>will you fuck me now?

>>11180826
I don't understand why some people are so upset over this.

I would never cheat on him and he knows it and we're secure enough about our relationship that we can joke about silly, offensive things with each other.

If your relationship isn't like that it's cool. Everybody has their own style.

>>11180849
>I don't understand why some people are so upset over this.

It's simple, sweetie. You see there are a lot of people on this board with autism, aserger's, and other social disorders. Those people have a hard time distinguising when someone is being serious as opposed to when they are joking. The problem is bad enough in face-to-face situations, but it's even worse with a text board because they cannot hear your voice to get nonverbal cues from it, like, for example, a scarcastic tone of voice. Because of their disabilities they think you were being serious.

Does that help, sweetie?

>>11172445
>they grew up during the depression
Well you fucking got me with that one

>>11180849
>I would never cheat on him
Yes you would. It's in your biology. As a woman you will cheat as soon as something better comes along or your "feelings" get you in a compromising situation that ends in a "one night stand" that "didn't mean anything".

You are a whore, even if you don't recognize it as of yet. I know this without knowing you personally because you are a woman.

>>11172257
I did. It was fine. I would have just wanted my time anyway

>>11180861
Unless they are 85-90 years old they did not grow up in the depression. They were a part of the baby boomer generation, the most lucrative opportunities of the past 2,000 years were at their feet and they are still trailer park hick trash. They are losers and I bet your husband is a loser as well.

>>11180001
This. 4chan has always been misogynistic in one way or another, but in the past it was either tongue-in-cheek or more of a statement as to say "we're all here on 4chan and you are no less pathetic than us". The new post-2016 incels that took over this site actually view themselves as morally superior to others. Pure cancer.

>>11180874
*wasted

>>11172219
You sound like a good cook :)

why are you guys falling for pol bait

>>11172281
my mother would make spaghetti with meat sauce (half premade sauce, half canned tomatoes with meat and spices/herbs), but would add cornstarch to make the watery mixture thick instead of reducing it for 30 or so mins, resulting in a sauce with little flavor. She was pissed off when I told her to stop using the cornstarch and just let the water reduce

>>11181978
My mom used to keep it watery and ladle a puddle of water over the spaghetti. She was proud of it.

>>11182463
I can remember that as well. I even bitched about it. Tbf, when she was on her game, her spaghetti sauce was good but she'd get drunk and wouldn't drain the pasta properly and it seeped water all over the plate. She was midwest af and didn't realize you should finish the pasta in the sauce. Kind of sad really. RIP, mom, you drunk.

>>11173172

Bump for the worst thread currently up.

>>11180867
Go back to /r9k/ my dude.

>>11174408
Just came here to post this. You guys are all fucking retards making drama where there doesn’t have to be drama

>>11172225
So you broke up with your husband?

>>11180867
If you think it's literally impossible for any woman to be loyal its probably because you are not worth being loyal to.

Fuck, just reading this makes me wish I could cheat on your cunty ass

I remember the first time I outcooked my grandma. I felt terrible for weeks. She didn't have any passive aggressive jabs or anything. She just said it was great and that she couldn't cook anything that fancy.

I LOVE YOU GRANDMA YOUR COOKING IS EXCELLENT Q.Q

>>11172225
BASED

>>11172219
>>11172223
>>11172224
>>11172225

The passive-aggressive cooking war my mother and my girlfriend have is 75% as intense as this. My mom has stopped trying to copy tho.

My gfs cooking never has leftovers

>>11172219
>faggot gets dabbed on by boomer flyovers
Nice blog lad, this is a cooking board.

>>11184092
Cook with her. Then fuuuuuuuck.

>>11177124
>silver palette

>>11172445
Anon boomers are 30 years old the depression was in the 1930s

>>11172225
>memefood
it was an ok story, but it didn't have a very good payoff

>>11172257
I like vindictive shit, so it was better than most walls of greentext. Disappointing ending, though.

>>11184666
Thank you, Satan. I like vindictive shit, too.

>I tell him "If your parents keep it up I swear to god I'm sleeping with your best friend"

stopped reading here, jump off a building whore

>>11173965
Lol your parents call her daughter.
That makes her your sister
You two are gonna have like super retard babies

>>11184677
redpilled

>>11173965
That's very rude. Most of us wouldn't be posting here if we weren't toxic.

>>11172225
>I told you she(male) was a whore when you married her(male)

Nice story faggot

>>11184692
Based and bitterpilled

>>11173965
you should divorce and then remind them that they can't pick their family

>>11172281
Literally every country woman I know (Eastern WA and bumfuck nowhere south ID) make amazing meals from scratch and scoff at any canned stuff. My mother in law even makes all her stock from scratch.

I think in the Midwest this is just the Depression and War era "so convenient everything in a can" type of cooking never going away, which is depressing considering it is farm country.

Reading some of these comments
>Is this autism?

>>11185278
I think, in some cases, it's not even about laziness. Some people prefer really plain and basic food and see any variation from that as putting on airs".

>>11185278
>>depressing considering it is farm country.

They don’t farm with the pride of supplying America with the best food, they farm dent corn to burn, make HFCS, or feed to cattle.

>>11184677
>like super retard babies
Extra retard babies. Way to fuck up the reference

>>11185371
I guess I'm lucky that all around me is produce, wheat, and fruit farms. Best thing about the summer is Juan selling cheap af asparagus, tomatoes, and other stuff out of the back of his van on Hwy 12.

>>11172223
>I tell him "If your parents keep it up I swear to god I'm sleeping with your best friend"
>We laugh. it becomes a running joke.
stopped reading there. better luck next time.

Every time you use the word "incel" instead of virgin like a normal umie bean you out yourself so loudly time and space rip apart so even your grand grand grand parents can feel disappointment over their future generations.

>>11185417
I get similar but its dave who either left college to homestead all naturally or bill whos families been there for 4 generations.