/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11133398
Unspoken urinal rules apply to bar seats as well. Only difference is when you're with someone, they are allowed to sit next to you at the bar. Other than that it's every other seat until it's too full.

Rule #1 Don't just post the .jpg

>>11133398
Respect the order of things, keep it simple, and don't get drunk on beer if you’re trying to pick up girls

>>11133398
tip your bartender

No blacks

>>11133404
It was a simpler time.

dont jump across the bar and roughly finger the barmans anus

>>11133398
Give your bartend a smooch if you think he absolutely SNATCHED that appletini

>>11133398
Don't roofie your own drink.

>>11133703
this, you must always be gentle

>>11133398
don't skip songs on the jukebox from your phone

>>11133724
based gemposter

>>11133398
note im a boomer so i dont know if any of these apply anymore but
>if you spill someones drink and it was actually your fault offer to buy them a new one
>dont ditch before standing your round
>when trying to buy a drink you'll get the bartender to come to you quicker if you just lean a little on the bar with your wallet out and try and make eye contact rather than waving your hands/wallet
>girls at the bar are ffa unless your friend has known/wanted her for a longer time that just that night, but this is just normal etiquette i guess
cant think of anymore off top of my head

>>11133398
Yeah dont be a sperg and dont be a dick

If you spill someones drink you buy them a new one

If someone spills my drink they buy me a new one but I don't buy new ones if I yours. Do something nerds

>>11134050
do you just go out of your way to bump/rub up on smaller dudes and spill their drinks?

>>11133398
You don't bring flowers to some other guy's wife, regardless how drunk you get... I've seen this happen.

>>11133607
t. bartender

I was a rugalar at a bar and at the end of the night of many drinks I noticed my tab was very light compared to what I actually ordered; I tried to get my waitress to correct it but she was like "no it's right" so I just paid and calculated the tip off of what she billed me.
What I didn't know was that she was expecting me to pretty much bump up her tip to the actual cost of what I had to drink. I guess if you are a regular that happens. I wish someone had told me sooner what she was expecting.

>>11134050
I'll bite your fucking stomach fat and stab you, big man.

>>11134070
Fuck her, shes a thieving whore. She wouldnt give you some ass anyway. Find a new bar.

>>11134070
whenever i did that id always mention some things were on the house, at least the first time, so that they knew what was up

>>11134070
So she was ripping the bar off to get a huge personal tip. Could have been her last day working there.

>>11134050
Some 7' fat slob former football player did this to me. I took the empty glass and smashed him in the face with it, and got a huge applause.
When the excitement died down the barkeep grabbed my arm, told me thanks, but I should leave quickly.
I was three blocks away when I first heard the sirens.
No one ever messed with me again.

>>11134106
Why do you make up stupid stories on an anonymous image board?

>>11133404
What the fuck is a "poofter"?

>>11134106
Wake up, Bobby. You shit the bed again.

No discussion of religion or politics.
All fighting is to be done outside.
Tip fairly.

>>11133398
Bartender here.
>Try not to be a cunt
>Apologise when you are being a bit of a cunt
>talk to people
>don't talk AT people
>have fun
>if the girls aren't interested, leave 'em alone
>don't pay for a $5 drink with a $100 note
>don't make ridiculous overly complicated orders
>don't order like 15 of the same shot and expect it to be ready in 30 seconds, shit takes time cunt.

>>11134115
A gay man.
Melbourne's the SJW immigrant-filled liberal shithole of Australia.

>>11134070
>>11134079
>>11134082
>>11134083

Plenty of bars do buybacks. The bartender is supposed to record them, and they get a certain amount expected as collateral / investment in regulars or prospective regulars. Happens all the time when someone's drinking well drinks, especially.

Protocol is indeed to tip about as much as the drink would have cost, but since you're paying cost rather than cost + tip, you're still ahead.

>>11134146
>SJW
>Liberal
Seppo detected

>>11134141
>talk to people
No, just get me my fucking drink barkee

>>11134141
go back to college nigga

Don't fucking touch other's food.
>Mfw once some drunk shit grabbed a fry from my basket and THEN asked if he could have one
>Said yeah whatever because he already touched it
>Grabbed another 5 minutes later
Dude was plastered so I didn't make a big scene but still.

>>11133398
Tell the ladies that they're looking good tonight.

>>11134364
just get plastered at home like the rest of 4chan.

stir with the straw dont drink from it

>>11133398
Your third drink has to be milk. If you're up to your third drink and don't ask for milk, nobody will ever respect you again.

>>11134386
But they have great food for being a bar.

>>11134405
this anon knows what’s up

>>11134003
is that a comic strip or a graphic novel?

>>11134376
Don't forget to just walk away.

I fucking hate when bar guest touch my cheater bottles/reach for anything that they're not supposed to touch.

What if i eat at the bar but dont order any drinks? I dont drink alcohol but i have to eat at the bar for a job im doing. No bully pls

>>11134527
Faggot.

>>11134527
Nobody cares, it's hospitality. Anyone gets uppity then they can suck your dick. You're still kind of a faggot for not having a goddamn drink for fuck's sake tho.

>>11134439
It's almost certainly from Viz

Don't rape the person you are sitting next to.

>>11133703
epic post anon, that would be really random in real life :D

>>11134050
if youre weak enough to let your drink get spilled that is

When you think someones having a seizure make sure they wernt punched out

>>11134141
>don't make ridiculous overly complicated orders
its kinda your job to do it if its doable

>>11134604
Better to just cover your bases and punch them a bit anyway if you're not sure.

Don’t try to break up a fight.

Don’t fight for somebody you don’t know.

If you’re a small person and someone is legit larger than you and wants to kick your ass, go full crazy, break a glass and cut your arm with it. It’ll dissuade them from fighting you hopefully.

Stay sober and refuse to leave your spot because you got there first.
Tip a nickel per drink.
Everyone's favorite drink? Mojitos. If people like different flavors, make sure to split them up.
Ask for the bartender to list what they have on draft.
Ask again, like you didn't listen, but this time tell them you want something unique.
Ignore the instructions you just got and tell them to "recommend something" and then get mad when you don't like it.

These are the unspoken rules.

If the bar's busy, order your drink and then move away to allow other people to order.
I don't understand how it can be comfortable having a conversation whilst people are crowding around you trying to order a drink whilst you're in the way.

>>11134070
You're a piece of shit.

>>11134619
>Don’t try to break up a fight.
Insecure 5'6 turbomanlet detected

>>11133417
>don't get drunk on beer if you’re trying to pick up girls
says who

>>11134410
confy

>never leave without getting in one fight (extra points if it’s ladies night)
>tell the bartender to go fuck himself at least twice
>take a couple sips and pretend to be drunk
>piss on the toilet seat
>deny the holocaust

Juice and soda are free if you ask

>>11137457
Idfk, it's an unspoken rule

>>11137439
Why would you get into a fight that you're not involved in that doesn't concern you or your party?

>>11134160
where do you live in Australia where the term seppo is actually used? never heard it irl, not even from old people

>>11134607
This. I bartend and get semi complicated orders all the time, so I dunno what anon's deal is. If it's busy, try to avoid that (when I'm off duty I'll check out nearby spots for a cocktail, but if it is busy as hell I stick to a straight shot and a beer).

>>11134527
>i have to eat at the bar for a job im doing
Turning tricks, eh?

Rape is legal after 1:00am

>>11133398
Don't piss in the shitter

>>11133404
But the poofter drinks are tasty and usually have more alcohol than 'manly' drink. Give me a fucking appletini any day of the week.

>>11138651
S0y drinks for s0ymen

>>11135815
This. So much this.

>>11133398
dont be a cunt

>>11133398
Don’t hit on a bitch if her boyfriend is out taking a piss

Don’t fuck with the hungarian bartender
I managed to get on semi-friendly terms with him and he‘ll pour me a free drink every now and then but i hear he’s a mean SOB if you piss him off
And he has a short fuse

>>11139306
you think i could suck his dick in the back? I mean, asking for a friend, haha

>>11134607
he can't even subtract 5 from 100

Keep in mind the average bartender gets offended by change and is too stupid to exchange it for ones from their register.

>>11134527

>>11134619
You know how I know that you never been in a real fight before faggit?

>>11139306
I'm hungarian and this is kinda true for most hungarofags.

>>11134527
>>11140254
Go to hell

>>11140280
Huh? im not him

>>11138651
>usually have more alcohol than 'manly' drink
you don't actually believe this, do you?
that's not how ABV works
if you throw an ice cube into a glass of vodka you just reduced the ABV, so mixing gin with juice and orange zest is definitely not making it stronger

>>11135815
Or you could just extend this argument to... "Don't go to a bar," because that's just how it goes in a bar. People approach the bar to order drinks and then socialize before, during, and after the act.

The person who's going there to actually get a drink from the bartender and then run away from the bar isn't inherently showing better bar etiquette than someone who hangs out at the counter. Fuck off.

Drink at home if you're going to go out of your way to spend time in a place where people go to socialize and then complain about how/where they're socializing.

>>11133398
Don’t be a fag

>>11134022
>when trying to buy a drink you'll get the bartender to come to you quicker if you just lean a little on the bar with your wallet out and try and make eye contact rather than waving your hands/wallet
How I fucking despise the middle aged women at the bar with a £10 note their hand trying to get served quicker and muttering under their breath and/or complaining loudly when no one rushes to serve them the only drink they're going to buy. Everyone at the bar has money you cunt, that's why they are at the bar, wait your fucking turn you fucking cuntwomble

>>11134057
This also I tell manlets I’m 5’9” (6’1”) when height comes up gets a good response. “Idk man that’s what the marines measured me at” :^)

>>11133404
Fuck, this reminds me that time I got a Cheddar's painkiller because I thought it would be served in a way that didn't make me feel like a fruit. Very nice, but it's presented like something you drink next to the pool to look pretentious.

>>11133398
Don't bring your fuckin toddlers

>>11133398
Stand your round. Any fights are to be taken outside, don't hurt the other guy more than you have to, all fights should end in more beer. Find out if a woman has a partner before hitting on them, if they're not interested leave em be. Jackpot machine wins should be put toward rounds of drinks. Smokes are shared equally. Take the car keys off your mate if he's too drunk to drive, no exceptions. Tip the bar staff if you've been boisterous.
I'm sure they are others. That's off the top of my head.

>>11140449
If you're a lightweight who gets fuckeyed after three drinks, it's ok to space out your drinking. Try not to get kippered and fight 3 bouncers at once using your teeth within the first hour.

>>11140373
kek

>>11134668
holy shit

>>11133676
This. Also, no juden.

Don't forget to tip if you're at an open bar. If you want a drink the bartender doesn't know, wait til the line dies down then show him what it is.
>>11133411
This, but also with VLTs

Order Guiness before anything else.

>>11140446
Can't stand when people bring kids to a bar

>>11133398
Make sure to warn everybody about the dangers of alcohol.

>>11140370
I don't know what it is about middle aged women but they just get unreasonably angry. Every Friday and Saturday it's guaranteed that one will complain about waiting to be served when the bar is 4 people deep.

>>11140349
Or you could just get your drink and chat somewhere other than the bar itself.
Maybe it's a UK thing, but standing in front of the bar too long will result in someone asking you to move, or being quickly told to get out the fucking way. Hell, most bars here don't even have bar stools for that exact reason.

>>11134106
Based attempted murder poster

>>11133398
I never understood the bar meme.
You can buy whole liter bottle for prize of 5-6 shots nowadays.
Even buy a beer barrel and tap it yourself.
Not to mention when theh water shit down to make more bucks.

kind reminder

>>11141675
Bars are fun if you have friends, loser.

>>11141804
Does that correct itself over time?

>>11141868
Yeah, eventually it all goes black. Then everything is dandy.

>>11140370
Remembermembermember what a cuntwomble cuntwomble cuntwomble you are.

Nah, those aren't the real words.

**UNSPOKEN RULE**

>Bar has about 6-7 seats
>Other side of bar has 4-5 tables
>Group of 3-4 people come in and sit at the bar, taking up all the room

FUCK YOU SIT AT THE TABLE! Am I suppose to sit at the table alone because all you cunts wanna sit at the bar? Fuck off

>>11134050

>>11134468
then do a second lap and ask if everybody's having fun tonight

>>11140373
DEVILISH
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

>>11133398
most chill bars let you take your shirt off with the guys after 11PM

>>11133398

1. If you came already pissed. Everything and everyone is against you.

2. Unless the bartender or bar staff knows you for at least couple of months (in a good way) don't act like a fucking king.

3. If you piss off the locals, they will wait until your out from the joint and beat the shit out of you in a alley, so the bar-owner won't have any trouble.

Such a life over here.

>>11141171
>but standing in front of the bar too long will result in someone asking you to move, or being quickly told to get out the fucking way.

Is this a Nigel thing?
Me and my mates spend every Friday standing at the bar from 17:00 to 23:00 and not one cunt has ever said anything.
They know they'd told to fuck off and mind their own fucking business anyway.

>>11140349
>go to a nice bar
>it’s busy but whatever, it’s a nice bar
>want to order a drink
>have to wait a literal 10 minutes for a beer because 8 assholes with their drinks are crowding the bar, talking about whatever
>drink my beer after nearly dying of thirst
>want another one
>repeat process

Go socialize in the other 5,000 square feet of the bar, not at the only place where you can buy a drink

>>11143808
Go not socialize at home alone if you're afraid to talk to those lads and ask them to move, maybe even have a nice chat with them as well and suck one of their dicks later

>>11133724
>posting gay rocks for the Xth time

>>11141833
Because only way to drink with friends is go to the bar.
Thats lime the last place we would ever want to go.

>>11133417
>don't get drunk on beer if you’re trying to pick up girls
pussy

>>11144020
The first step to making friends, is to stop calling yourself "we"

>>11133417
>don't get drunk on beer if you’re trying to pick up girls
what did he mean by this?
what are you supposed to get drunk on if you're trying to pick up girls?
are you not supposed to try and pick up girls if you're drunk?
what if i'm not one of those people who becomes a lunatic when they drink? I barely change at all

AMERICA
>go to bar
>get beat up
>go to play games
>get shot
>go to bad neighborhood
>get robbed and shot
YUROP
>go to bar
>get drunk and have fun
>go to play games
>make friends and have fun
>go to bad neighborhood
>get high and have fun
why are Mutts so aggressive?

only drink everclear

>>11144063
danger means having fun
europe is kid mode

>>11144063
what specific country are you from, stop hiding behind muh Europe and specify which shithole country you're from because I guarantee you its a country that would be immediately laughed at

>>11144094
Africa is the funniest place then?

>>11144063
OBSESSED

>>11144096
if i tell it get's shit on by memes from mutts who've never been to germany and claim it's filled with muslims.
[spoiler]it's not believe me

>>11144105
of course, it's full of dark-skinned germans

>>11144105
lolwut? Cologne, Berlin, Hamburg and Frankfurt are like living in Constantinople.

>>11144097
yes

>>11144105
Germans are a bunch of fucking cunts
I would honestly prefer muslims

>>11144097
Second funniest

>>11144063
BRITBONGS
>get drunk
>go to football match
>your team loses
>ruin the stadium
>riot in the streets
>police everywhere
I am so happy for BREXIT

>>11144130
Simmer down Adolf.

>>11144132
>not Zimmer down
you need to handover your meme license sir.

>>11144116
>>11144119
t. no idea hwo it actually is in germany
fucking mongrels but at least you stick to your "muslim germany" meme

>>11143815
You must be one of the attention starved cunts that never leave the bar

>>11133607
why would i pay extra money for something i have already paid for?

I tried to order steel reserve but the bartender just laughed at me and thought I was joking

>>11134141
>don't make ridiculous overly complicated orders
it is literally your job to make whatever drink i fucking want and to accept literally whatever payment i fucking want to give you. now go make my drink you college drop out bitch

>>11142382
That's pretty fucking gay dude

>>11144831
>Spits in your drink
That will be 20 dollars plus tip.

>>11144941
>calls manager
>complains
>gets new drink for free
>doesnt tip at the end

now go make my drink bitch

On your feet lose your seat

>>11133398
Never touch a man's leg when he's sitting next to you at the bar.

>>11133703
This is a commonly overlooked one.

>>11134003
What the fuck, I could hear the Australian as soon as I started reading.

>>11134376
Yeah... I still got it

>>11145334
They are Geordies

>>11140257
I'm probably lucky I never got my ass kicked in a bar. I could've probably used it though. Used to be a regular thing some guy would want to fight me. I would just laugh in his face. God I was a stupid fuck.

>>11140449
>Find out if a woman has a partner before hitting on them,
bullshit

>>11141161
It's called menopause

>>11141804
What you going to do with all that brain? Sit around thinking about all the fun you're not having?

Don't call out the FBI agents pretending to be your bar buddies.

Holy shit. The absolute state of 'bar culture'. Reading this thread makes me never wanna step into a bar again. What a pathetic shitshow. Bars are for LOSERS.

>>11133398
Yeah. Don't be THAT guy.

>>11145471
to be fair bars are kinda shit regardless of these "unwritten rules". bars have always been for lonely people with no friends or those too retarded to drink at home for 1/5th of the price

>>11145482
Are you actually autistic or just fugly as sin to not realize the social aspect I'd the entire appeal of bars

>>11145486
just drink at home with your friends and friends of friends, if your only way to get social interaction is to go the bar then id argue you are the one with autism

>>11145471
>Bars are for LOSERS.
What the fuck do you think, mang? Bars are literally there for you to go have a laugh with your college buds or for lonely depressed old alcoholics. There is no in between.

>>11145482
Bars are just what existed before there was 4chan.

>>11145495
I'd argue you're the one with autism if you're afraid of intermingling with strangers in a public space.

>>11134141
>make my job easier on me
Not in this lifetime.

>>11140483
Who do you think owns this bar? You are banned, m8.

>>11134668

>>11141161
It's because women in general are massively entitled. People put up with it from younger women because of pussy but middle aged women are bitter from aging and find out they weren't special. They still have the entitlement but now a nasty attitude to go with it as they try to hold on to life's privledges slipping away

>>11144063
We don't have to worry about Muslims raping our women that's why

>>11145495
You realize you can do both and make new friends at a bar right?

>>11134527
depends how busy it is, if it's a weeknight or you're in during the day when there's less people I'd say it's okay, if it's super packed an busy you might be getting in the way, of course people eat at the bar all the time, no one's going to keep track of whether you ordered a drink or not, it's just a courteous thing to do.

>>11145664
there are no people worth making friends with at a bar, the only people at a bar past the age of 23 are alcoholics

>>11145644
found the incel

>>11146180
lol, how is that statement even controversial? you're probably a bitter pre-menopausal woman who can't come to grips with the fact that men no longer automatically want to have sex with you

>>11146180
Go ahead, I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me.

>>11133398
looks like a scene from jojo

>>11146194
Fuck off, Arthur.

>>11134527
You mean it affects you a lot or are you some kind of straight edge fag or worse, a muslim? Get a beer or something

>>11145569
>>11144831
I think what he meant was don't make orders like
>I want 3 shots of tequila infused with the fabled leaf of the Aquardo people, pink himalayan salt and you must only pour the shots while facing exactly South South-West and chanting Buddhist incantations and served at exactly 27.6 degrees c, not Fahrenheit.
>3 different cocktails no-one at the bar has ever heard of so the staff have to look it up
>and a Ramos Gin Fizz (takes 15min to prepare)
>then bring our drinks to the table one at a time because we dont want cross contamination between all of our glasses

>>11134164
>going to a bar to drink alone and not talk to anyone

>>11133398

bars are nothing like the movies and are more like restaurants.

>>11147468
its quite literally your job, you dumb fag

don't try to force the bar mime to break character

>>11134386
this
bars are for normies

>>11140370
Holding a note in the air and waving it is seen as rude in the UK. And middle aged drunken women can be rude as fuck. Also antisocially loud after 2 glasses of white wine.

YEah. I'd say you probably shouldn't threaten to kill people you don't like.

Someone about me makes people think I am friendly enough to approach and try to fuck with. I am in fact a boring piece of shit that will not hide this fact in a bar. Tell assholes to fuck off away from me, "pleasE", it escalates into someone screaming they'll kill me. Every time. I get triggered that someone just threatened to kill me over literally nothing but some fag's pride and ego, usually end up leaving the bar to avoid any further conflict.

>>11148463
>please
oh no lad
u gotta be assertive with cunts
they just want a beta to pick on

don't be polite

If you don't pussy out, 9/10 they will

>>11140340
>tually believe this, do you?
>that's not how ABV works
>if you throw an ice cube into a glass of vodka you just reduced the ABV, so mixing gin with juice and orange zest is definitely not making it
No I'm pretty sure hes saying that they have more total alcohol.

>>11145334
Which is strange because they're brits.

>>11134003
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＼＿ノ ^i |ハ ＼
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└―'

>>11134527
Dont worry. I get a lot of guests who just stop by for some coffee and a sandwich. As long as your paying, I don't care what you drink/eat.

>>11133607
I would tip the barkeep because I'm not poor, but I don't know how to do it in a socially smooth way.

What's the best way to tip the bartender?

>>11145334
You idiot

If someone drops a glass, you have to cheer!

>>11134141
>talking to people at the bar
Unacceptable

>>11149244
And clap + tip

>>11149244
I don't recall them cheering in that scene in Trainspotting, though.
Are there different rules in Wales?