/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11032793
oh no FUCKING HELL holy SHIT LMAO!!!

>>11032798
Thanks for joining us tonight bill

Cat be like:
>bröther
>may i have lööps?

>>11032802

Mind if I save this? Too funny. My nephew will get a kick out of it. He's always drink coffee and those Monster energy drinks too.

>>11032802
>but i mixes them
Terrible defense.

>>11032827
Kekkd and chekkd

>>11032810
Man i must be retarded, this shit is actually funny.

>>11032827
I unironically have that condition

the first image was good but can you please post better quality images ? other ones havent been up to standard. thank you

>>11032938
Its all subjective my dude

>>11032802
Based Heather.

>>11033052
You can't dab to AC/DC

>>11032920
no need to tell us, no one thinks you are ironically fat

>>11033061
Maybe YOU can't, kiddo.

>>11033077
Not even fat, I exercise constantly so that I don't have to eat less

>>11032802
>>11033079
what are these from

>>11032796

If I needed humor I would ask you what's you're favorite food

>>11033334
pussy ofc

>>11033138
HeatherBoydComics on Instagram.
I'd normally write something snarky about how you're stupid for not being able to Bing that yourself given the filename on the second one, but I'm in a good mood.
Have a nice day anon.

>>11032810
mmm loop

>>11033405
that's a bigger disappointment than I thought it would be
you have a nice day too
also rip jazz's micropenis too small to turn into a fake vagina

>>11033334
aw shit

>>11033405
>bing

>>11033437
I unironically really really really like the loops kot, does this make me reddit?

>>11032802
If you mixed a hot chocolate and a coffee into a single cup, wouldn't you only be drinking half of each--thus amounting to only a single cup of coffee?

>>11033492
who cares, reddit is better than 4kanker anyway

some olives

>>11033492
it means you have good taste my friend

>>11033484
>he doesn't use bing

>>11032827
It's called self control and discipline, Betty. You fucking cow.

>>11033477
I thought they did make a vagoo for him?
Did they use something else? Skin from a buttock or perhaps a snippet of colon?

>>11033484
I like the daily photo on the front page

>>11033631
>hehe they actually did it
>let me take a picture
>now what do I do....

>>11033169
I legit thought this meme was dead.

>>11033674
The fatty melt looks good

>>11033169
Hahahaha! He's naked!

>>11032827
>t. 30yo WWII generation

>>11032810
REEEEEEEEEE ITS NOT LÖÒPS ITS RINGLETS

>>11033674
I'd give the ramen or the kuro pearl a try

>>11033674
I'd like to try every single one of them even grosser sounding ones like the ice cream hamburger

>>11034171
pretty sure their fucking marketing dept got a hold of it and rewrote the meme to be more brand-friendly

>>11033674
Some of those actually sound edible. But everything involving donuts, ice cream, and other desserts just screams "No one actually thinks this is a good idea but we want to get our restaurant's name in the paper."

>>11033484
>using soygle

>>11033679
kek

>>11032999
Reddit

>>11034907
crazy to think we live in a world of corporate propaganda memes

>>11032802
Holy fuck

>>11032802
That fucking stupid bitch in the third frame makes me so angry. Does she literally believe that she's not receiving the full amounts of sugar/caffeine from both drinks just because she mixed? God I hate women.

>>11032799
cute wrinkle dog

>>11033169
I really, really like this image

>>11033284
i dont get it

>>11033631
that "egg" looks like dirty felt

>>11037288
He was supposed to use two and a quarter cups(2.25) but he used two quarter cups (0.5) instead.

>>11032802
left cannot meme

>>11037297
oh now i get it
i thought it seemed weird that the recipe would say 2 of 1/4 and not just 1/2 then

>>11033679
saved
i liek dad jokes

>>11037497
>eating a twinkie in 3 bites
Lad..

>>11037310
cringe

>>11033674
>the entire leg of prosciutto

>board filled with women
>humor thread is unfunny
What a day

>>11037831
This place is still 10:1 dicks to females.

I don't visit /ck/ often, but every time I do, there's food humor thread and every time it's bizarre as fuck.

>>11037558
Squeezing the lime onto the other limes got an audible chuckle from me. What commercial is that from? I assume it's some sort of Mexican junk food.

>>11032799

>>11032802
>Buzz(lightly inebriated)
>"You're going to be so heavily lightly affected"
Wiet people grammar

>>11033405
That's one freaky looking little boy

>>11037831
>doesn't get that this is ironic shitposting
>trump posting
t. 2016er

jerry if youre reading this youre a nigger

>>11037831
>posting trump
>criticizing other people's humor

>>11032802
Very interesting political compass

>>11032802
???

>>11040111
Ya got me

>>11033511
yummy!

>>11032839
Lost

>>11037288
retard

>>11041255
cheap ass. is she jewish? what are these pictures called? and where is the joke??

>>11041257

>>11041257
>is she jewish
no, just a french canadian hippie

>>11041257
the joke is that i spent 5 hours today going through all 472 of her instagram posts and i can't properly articulate how angry i am that this woman lives on the same hemisphere that i do

>>11035494
This is making me laugh so hard rn

bus wankers

>>11041297
Lol @ the creep pic of the woman

>>11041297
i bet she was real popular in her twenties and had a great time with a lot of friends and boyfriends and now, even tho she is starting to turn into a boring ass bitch she still think every thought that pops up in her brain is a gold nugget worth sharing with the word in the worst possible format. but the sad thing is when i get to that age i would probably think she was fine fine because thats what age does to some people, it turn them into suckers

>>11041303
i read every single post and all of her comments. she's an ex-alcoholic who does yoga, is """vegan""" except for cheese, and is generally fucking intolerable all around even though she preaches gratitude and patience like all those AA koolaid cunts. her hypocrisy is fucking astounding and my blood boils just looking at her. holy fuck what a petty excuse for a woman.

>>11041306
she described her youth as being a "starving artist" and had pictures of her being an art-thot in the 80s selling beads to tourists on the street corner in montreal that were "smuggled into the country from mexico in her boyfriends boots" or some gay shit
also she won't marry her boyfriend of 28 years because they're dirty hippies that reject tradition
all around horrible people with disgusting sets of morals

>>11041316
>my blood boils just looking at her
>i read every single post and all of her comments
get help

>>11041326
it was one of those instances where it's like watching a train derail or a horrible car crash happens and you can't look away
it was cathartic rage

>>11041334
why are you speaking in past tense when you're clearly still obsessed

>>11041338
i'm trying to offload some of it onto you fags

>>11041343
sure sure

>>11041283
>tfw South Hemisphere
haha sucker

>>11033405
>just bing it

This post was sponsored by Microsoft™

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>>11041345
please it's eating me alive

>>11033547
kek

>>11041363
What’s the name of this bitch?

>>11041363
lmao
is marc her husband?

>>11041379
Heather Boyd Comics
her behavior is fucking sickening

>>11041380
no, they've been together for 28 years but won't get married because they're hippies that reject the system
absolutely atrocious

>>11039362
I'm sure i'm not the first to say this but there is cheddar cheese in goldfish.

>>11038890
>tell women to leave
>>THIS BOARD IS MOSTLY FEMALE!
>criticize /ck/ as a whole
>>THIS BOARD IS MOSTLY MEN!

Women, everybody.

>>11041386
>being mad because people you don't know aren't married
who the fuck cares

>>11032802

>>11041429
yes that's the only reason i dislike her thanks for reading Mr. Brain Trust

>>11040561
probably mormon. they can't drink coffee and tea

>>11041436
nothing in my post implied that that's the only reason you don't like her. I was pointing out how stupid it is to care about the marriage thing

learn to read things that aren't these comics, dumbass

>>11041442
>redditspacing
didn't even read your post

>>11041445
they're called paragraphs, sweetie

>>11041451
no, sweetie, a paragraph is a coherent structure of at least 5 sentences with one central theme
thanks for playing

>>11041455
>of at least 5 sentences
read a book

>>11041460
don't @ me anymore dipshit

I think I can feel my brain going spongy from reading these 'comics'.

>>11041475

>>11041467
that's not a book

>>11041436
Damn whos that other milf? Id hit that

>>11041467
>in reality, though, the unity and coherence of ideas among sentences is what constitutes a paragraph
Not him but your own source contradicts your argument.

>>11041487
her sister
>>11041483
your two and a half fractured redditspaced sentences still don't constitute a paragraph i don't know what you're trying to prove

>>11041493
don't be too hard on them, these comics have clearly taken on a toll on their mind

>>11041496
>I was wrong b-but you're wronger!

>>11041455
this is the only good one because its meta humor about how trash her comics are

>>11041499
Don't bother arguing with faggots who cry about "reddit spacing". It's just something anons say when they can't think of a real argument. It's on par with calling everything you don't like soy.
Once they've resorted to ad hominems (which they always do) you know the argument is over.

>>11041500
i want to die

>>11041477
I hate everyone of them more than the last but I leave wanting more

>>11041511
they scare me. something not right with that woman

>>11041511
this. why did I read all this shit? it adds nothing to my life but misery.

>>11041513
>>11041512
I tried to do something else but I eventually ended up on her Instagram page. I think I'm addicted.

>>11041507
>dipping bacon in chocolate
I don't care what people say about it: the very idea is abhorrent.

>>11041540
don't go to her instagram
i spent 5 hours reading all 472 of her """comics"""
my mental health is even worse

>>11033079
she, like all women, has one idea, and goes full force into it without critically thinking about it any further.
>haha dognuts
>spends an hour making 4 panel "comic"
>even though she only wrote it out once and never spell checks it
this is how 100% of women are 100% of the time

>>11037333
this was so fucking stupid, i was in that thread, can't believe anybody saved anything from it, /ck/ can't humor

>>11041384
Damn....I have no words. Gonna put this whore on my hate list right under Jack Salmonella fella Scalfani

>>11041543
FUCK ME

>>11041552

>>11041325
>montreal

>>11041573
Jesus fucking Christ.

>>11041573
fuck, this is going to be the first /ck/ thread to hit file limit, isn’t it?

>>11041576
>funsucker
>sonfucker
We delved too greedily and too deep, for the meme.

fair warning I dont know how many more of these I can handle

>>11041573
Who read these? Why does she keep making them? Is she trying to be funny?

When you gaze into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you.

>>11033126
>I'd like to order a cake with balloons on top
>Ok mam, what lettering you you like?
>Just balloons is fine, thanks
>Right up

>>11041593
Buckle in cause there is roughly 400 more

>>11041601
Alternatively:
>It's a nice cake but why did you draw sperm on it?
>Those are balloons! They're just balloons!
>I think you'd better clarify that on the cake

>>11041605
>there is 400
I'm guessing English isn't your first language.

>>11041609
Nah just borderline retarded

>>11041606

>>11041605
>>11041641

>>11041641
>>11041643
how do you misspell underneath twice?

>>11041655
Say it outloud and you'll get the clue, my paleskinned friend.

>>11041601
>i’d like to order a cake with balloons on top
>ok mam, what letters do you want?
>fuck it, write ”just balloons” on there aswell
>j-just ballons in letters?
>you heard me
>ok mam, anything else?
>nah
*click*

>>11041677
You're being just as dense as they are if you don't understand my question.

>>11041729
NO U

>>11041677
>outloud
>prounouncing it "underneat"
Those are your cakes, aren't they?

>>11041445
Can someone explain this one to me?

>>11041961
She is so sheltered that she things having to make a cake topper, the plastic figurines you see on top of wedding cakes, is stressful.
She took the time to express this stress in a meme instead of finishing the job.

>>11032802

anyone ever drink too much coffee, severely nauseated from the 800mg of caffeine, and end up puking at work, in front of the cute HR girl?

wish i was joking. that instant coffee is dangerous. deceptively strong.

what the hell is his problem?

>>11040033
>>11040209
he won
she lost
get over it.

>>11033547

always lose to this

or anything hogan related

>>11041677
Yeah maybe if you're typing it out and aren't focusing and don't really care because it's the internet and you have backspace.

Takes a little more effort to write on a cake.

>>11042120
>he still thinks we care about hillary
>meanwhile trump sucks putin's donkey dick
Go back to your cave.

>>11041583
shes cleaely a deranged anglo, could be from anywhere in canada

>>11042130
Hank would undoubtedly dab in Trumps favor. Stay pissy, little wussy, missy, female

>>11042308
Hank wouldn't even know what a dab is you cancerous Reddit tier numale faggot.

>>11042341
no, he sells propane. he knows what he's voting for.

>>11042130
>>11042308
>>11042341
>>11042359
I tell you h'what

>>11033492
Its a cat looking cute and/or funny. Its primal 4ham humor.

>>11041506
Soyboy fucking cuck

>>11042523
This took longer than expected.

>>11041334
>>11041325
>>11041316
You have literally no reason to be upset about this woman, you fucking weirdo

>>11042565
eat my ass, Heather

>>11039771
wtf i love larvae now

>>11034953
I've had the donut burger before, it's not terrible

>>11032810
>>11033437
>>11033492

>>11033107

>>11042523
God I hate him so much

>>11041228

>>11042523
>already the most hated ST character of all time
>still managed to lower his status after the show ends

>>11042702
Hey now if you're telling me there somehow can be someone worse than wesley "mary sue" crusher then we have to have words.

>>11042709
He... found a way

>>11041255
i was wondering if the CAD rule would work for this lady. Let's find out.

>>11041576
Forced Meme DEFCON status:
-2-

>>11042764

>>11042811

>>11042816

>>11042820

>>11042822
i don't have the sheer level of hate that the original person does so this is my last contribution to the thread.

Conclusion: CAD rule does apply

>>11042565
Fuck off back to Instagram Heather you fucking vapid whore

>>11042869
>>11042573
Cringe

>>11042811
>>11042816
>>11042820
>>11042822
>>11042828
What is this?

>>11042880
removing the middle two panels of any four panel comic makes it funnier

>>11042873
Kill yourself Heather.

>>11042912
You're so obsessed with this random birch that makes subpar old lady comics you think any and all criticism is her? You need some help man, that shit is nothing to get mad over. You've chosen the most random thing in existence to get pissed off about, it's sad man. Grow up

>>11042919
You're doing a really bad job of disguising yourself, Heather. Fuck off back to Instagram and continue doing an equally bad job at making garbage comics.

wow. what has happened to my board? i no longer feel at home here whatsoever. i genuinely believed i understood the demographic of this place, and i was obviously very very wrong. i'm not sure if it's some kind of meta-trolling, but some bitch literally asked what reddit spacing was up there. and who answered but someone who didn't have the answer at all.

how is she vegan if she ate a burger and bacon up there?

>>11042919
...Is this bad anti humor or just a nanny anon?

>>11042927
Based obsessed retard poster

>>11042931
Fuck off Heather.

Well this thread's been ruined by that fucking whore Heather. What a fucking mess of a thread. Mods can you please just delete it already so we can start fresh?

>>11042952
>>11042927
>>11042940
>>11042912
>>11042869
HEATHER > CLAIRE

>>11033631
R.A.W.

>>11041543
why? it's the same concept as barbecue sauce.

>>11033113
>shadman

>>11042880
the B^Uckley effect. in essence, removing all the fucking wordy bullshit and simplifying the joke down to a setup and punchline makes it better, who would've thought.

>>11042828
>CAD rule does apply
because there really wasnt a joke to begin with

>>11042880

>>11041543
it's really not

>>11042931
>>11042940
definitely not heather

>>11043340
That's exactly what Heather would say...

>>11043246
whoever that anon is
it's this stupid rule where if you remove the dialogue from every panel and take away the middle panels, you make a comic out of a comic

>>11041573

>>11037558
makes my mouth water with lime

>>11041467
this is a rule for children. If you've ever done any serious writing/reading you'll know how to use a paragraph naturally

>>11042952
No. Im the op of this thread. I ruined it from the start. I love to make unfunny ”funny” food threads and this one is the apple of my eye

>>11032810
>>11033437
>>11033492
>>11033547

this was a sad thread.

>>11043640
Fuck you I put the banana guy in every one of them. Funny can occur in no thread that contains the fucking banana guy, I make these threads unfunny faggot

>>11042822
S Q U E L C H
Q
U
E
L
C
H

>>11041297
Loled out loud at this one! Love it

>>11043685
What thread?

>>11041297
This woman is so fucking cringe. I'm embarrassed that I live in the same city as her.

>>11044562
Fuckin roastie

>>11043685
cute feet

>>11033674
fucking fitzroy appropriating bogan culture

>>11041643
>sprinkles on the edges

>>11032802
I don't understand why this picture even exists. Am I missing something?

quality thread

That last sip before bootcamp.

please post more heather, i am addicted.

>>11045310
use a fucking coaster

I still don't understand why that lady makes /ck/ so upset, she's just a boomer with a blog-comic

>>11046610
I`m just a lurker that doesn`t got any context regarding that person and seeing those comics get spammed just confuses and scares me.

It damages my /ck/ lurking confyness so I demand to stop this at once.

>>11033169
lost

>>11032802
What the fuck is this cringy boomer shit

>>11033079
Wew

>>11033405
>Bing

I can't wait till your generation dies off

>>11046836
I can't wait 'til you're forced to use Bing because Google banned you for wrongthink.
I mention Bing as often as I can and I always manage to hook a few retards who treat search engines like fucking football teams. You honestly think you're cool for preferring one over the other? Goddamn, you're pathetic.

>>11041271
How fucking retarded is this bitch

>>11041277
THIS is the most Jewish thing I've ever seen

>>11041283
What order are these even supposed to be in

>>11041297
Old cunt jealous of young cunt

>>11041316
....wasting a homeless man's time and jewing him over. How insufferable can one person be?

>>11032793
Staying on topic? That's just nutty

>>11033105
Wait, that's not how you make meatloaf?

>>11041326
>>11041338
>>11041499
>>11042565
When will the boomer plague end

>>11033631
fried egg with broken yolk, nope

>>11033679
Haha gold

>>11037514
He's as bad as the fags randomly screaming "/pol/" or "alt-right"; but you're even worse coming through with the le reddit meme.

>>11032916
Fuck, how did I actually lose to this?

>>11041316
>>11041386
He warned her about this

>>11033077
Not him, but pretty sure I have a stomach ulcer. If I get too hungry I feel like I'm getting hit in the stomach with a sledgehammer. Makes fasting a no go.

>>11046943
cringe

>>11041543

Boo hoo

>>11041386
What is even the point of half of these??? The internet is not a big truck! It's not something you just dump something on!

>>11042880

Damn newfags

>>11041445
???????

>>11041455
THIS one is extremely meta

>>11046723

You don't deserve to be comfy

>>11041460
He was right, idiot

>>11038890
It's dicks to clits

>>11042919
>birch
Phoneposters should be fucking gassed.

>>11041507
She really thinks she's roasting these people wtf

>>11041384
Time to /i/nvestigate

>>11041609
>implying there's no white bitches named Maria

>>11041573
Does this old wrinkly bag actually have a fanbase?

>>11041507
Wasn't she vegan?

>>11041677
Nobody pronounces underneath that way unless you're obnoxiously brown

>>11042573
Being such a sheltered bint you have to "fact check" your friends

This is my favorite thread on /ck/ in a really long time. I cannot believe how unfunny this lady is.

>>11042873
I can't believe Heather is really here

>>11042573
>not using an actual photo of those young studs handling her naked oiled up feet

>>11047091
I can. I reckon about 80% of the people on seekay are women like her.

>>11033405
>>11033477
Something about that creatures nose is just off.

>>11046855
Fuck off microshill, you're just as bad as jewgle

>>11047128
Pretty much this

>>11043068
At least sauce has spices to add a number of flavors. Chocolate is fucking candy, and does not belong on meat.

>>11047185
Mole sauce is delicious though

>>11041641
>>11041643
>Hiring minorities

>>11047190

>this thread

>>11045310
>Drinking soda

>>11033405
>all the booty blasted newfaggots defending google kikery
Gross.

>>11033653
Blacks of all people should know not to get between a nigger and his pork.

>>11042130
Calm your tits and put away the tin foil, reddit.

>>11042573
She wants the young dick so bad.
>I needed more shirtless proof!

BOOMER JUICE BE ETERNAL, YO

>>11041228

>>11047139
he's a tranny

>>11047659
I thought it's because (s)he's of a certain chosen heritage

>>11041467
>many students define paragraphs in terms of length
>In reality, though, the unity and coherence of ideas among sentences is what constitutes a paragraph

>>11032802
This is either retarded or brilliant. The more I think about it, the more layers it has. It's like a zen koan.

>>11041297
>>11041283
>>11041277
These really defy categorization. She deserves kudos for making unique and /ck/ related OC. They are fascinating for some reason

>>11041511
Nailed it.

>>11041228
Daily reminder that the owner of this has Parkinson's disease

>>11048107
Yeah, this is what I'm always thinking about. I can definitely imagine someone who might need to drink soylent also being someone with some sort of debilitation that would make it difficult for them to be able to open the bottle. From my understand, soylent being a meal replacement for some very sick people would probably work really well.

>>11033492
aren’t we all just reddit in the end

>>11048260
Meal replacement for elderly/disabled might as well be it's true purpose. It probably would sell better if they marketed it like that

This Heather woman reminds me of my mother-in-law.

She also had long gray hair, was kind of a hippie, and made lots of bad jokes.

However, my mother-in-law was a very picky eater.

this heather woman makes me embarrassed and sad
its like seeing the odd girl in the neighborhood as a child
you dont want to help her but you still feel sad for her existence

>>11046995
read a book

>>11033674
>Whale and puffin sliders
>I'm actually going to be laid over in reykjavic for several hours in a couple weeks
Do they happen to sell those close to or in the airport?

>>11046955
based

Bumping this mess