/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10792975

get wrecked faggot.

it is good

>>10792975
It is a very good sauce! My wife's bull hates it though so he forced me to eat it out of our Labradoodle's bowl.

I refrigerated it and it's awful

'vark is fucking awful. Sorry you got tricked.

>>10792986
fuck you I paid 13 dollars for this god damn sauce you fucking faggot

>>10792975
Not my favorite, but it's good with certain things.

>>10792975
>>10793059
Nobody "tricked" you soyboy

>>10793041
It's not really awful, it's just not especially flavorful or particularly spicy.

>>10792975
why did you think it would be good... it's brown.

>>10794297

>>10794289

it's pretty spicy. maybe it was just the bottle I got.

I feel like people on /ck/ make a point to say that stuff that's spicy isn't spicy though.

>>10792975
2/5 sauce due to mediocre flavor and exorbitant price. Constantly shilled in here. Don't believe the lies.

t. used an entire bottle at a bar

>>10792975
>Falling for a /ck/ meme
I bet you think people in /sip/ actually drink energy drink too.

>>10794447
>he's not /sippin/ right now at 12:45 am

>>10794413
I saw it at a burger joint in Portland. I emptied 3 whole bottles on my tray and threw them away

>>10792986
fpbp

>>10792975
/ck/ virtually memes only mediocre and bad products. Your fault for spending 13 dollars on a bottle of sauce without doing research first.

>>10796047
>without doing research first

Maybe you should try doing some research. Google Secret Aardvark and you'll find overwhelmingly positive reviews because it's actually really good.

>>10792975
>he uses hot sauce in the first place

>>10793059
You were able to get 'vark that cheap?

>I sexually identify as my preferred pepper sauce.

Chill.

Aardvark is alright. Is kinda fruity (habaneros) and a little hot (habaneros). Nothing mind blowing but hey its not bad.

I really have to give it to their marketing team though, who seem to be adequately shoveling this overpriced spicy vinegar on all the stupid millennial directed youtube content creators.

But to non do i owe more respect than the noble 4chan division. Who's prime directive is to post this stupid thread as much as humanly possible.

>this is the best hot sauce though.

>>10796168
>who seem to be adequately shoveling this overpriced spicy vinegar on all the stupid millennial directed youtube content creators

has it been on shows/videos other than Hot Ones?

I bet any sauce from the first half of Hot Ones that wasn't already popular is pretty popular now. millions of people watch their stuff.

>>10794289
>>10794325
I think it's spicy.
I'm not saying it's a "good sauce" but it is spicy.

>>10796004
Bethany bro checking in

>>10792975
>You bastards lied to me you said this sauce was good

Marketing done right. Doesn't matter what you think, you still bought it

I genuinely enjoy the 'vark, I usually buy a 3-pack online but it's too expensive to keep stocked. I think what most autists here argue is that it's a bad "hot sauce" and I can agree with it, but that doesn't mean it's a bad sauce.

Its more of a spicy condiment over a traditional hot sauce. I usually mix 50/50 vark and ketchup when eating stuff like eggs

>>10792975
Fuckin 'vark man. Classic. Nothing like the stuff. I fuckin just about dump that shit all over everything I eat. Goddamn. I think I'm gonna have some now. Great sauce. I really recommend anyone who hasn't tried some yet to pick up a bottle, don't forget about their jerk marinade, black bean sauce, and spicy mayo too!

>>10796265
>Marketing done right. Doesn't matter what you think, you still bought it

literally done wrong. he bought and now hes telling people its shit

>>10796292
Guess what though faggot. It'll still get more people to buy it. Just mention the name and they will still buy it. Keep talking about it, they'll buy it.

>>10796106
Sup tastelet

>>10796295
never gonna buy that shit

>>10796311
I bet you will. I bet you will buy it.

>>10796315
I caved and bought 2 bottles of 'vark sauce. Your right

'vark is great, open a can of deenz and slather it on there

>>10793059
>13 dollars
damn where did you get it at that price? Cheapest I've seen is $17

>>10796481
He used his 'vark card for a 15% discount

>>10796224

agreed it's pretty spicy. I would classify stuff like sriracha and tobasco as babby spice level. 'vark is a big step up from those.

>>10796586
My wife's bull maxed out all of my credit cards and took my 'vark card away.

>>10796628
My wife Sarah's bull took my 'v-card too.

>>10792975
It's secret faggot sauce for westcoast hipsters

habanero is the 6th ingredient, its just sweet tomato sauce.

you have no one to blame but yourself

>>10794325
its only spicy if you're a giant gaping pussy

My wife Becky's son's father likes to put a drop of that 'vark on his cock and then facefuck Becky while I'm tied up and forced to watch. When he's done with her, she's covered in slobber and some vomit and semen, and a little bit of that 'vark. She then calls me a good boy and allows me to kiss her on the cheek to say good night before I get back in my cage. Boys, let me tell you, when you are really worked up and haven't had any 'vark in a while, just kissing a beautiful lady's face with a tiny amount of 'vark, even mixed with all the semen and that, it's so great. I'm a lucky man.

>>10796677
Dubs of truth

>>10796685
A touching testimony from a true Secret Aardvark Habanero sauce fan.

>>10796682

>I call people pussies online because I have no life

>>10796773

seems like I hit a nerve.
do you question your masculinity on a regular basis?

>>10796773
My 3 year old wife's son loves 'vark sauce. It's not spicy at all. They despice the habaneros after harvesting them.

>>10796782
>>10796785
Yeah you hit a nerve fuck off 'vark sauce is so spicy it makes me cry

>>10796789
>t. giant pussy

>>10796782

>this is how i spend my Friday afternoon/evening

>>10796785
>3 year old wife

>>10796794
I am NOT a pussy you asshole. It is a HABANERO sauce

>>10796214
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OVNG7JpnJA

>>10796785
How on earth can a 3 year old concieve a child

>>10796616
>I would classify stuff like sriracha and tobasco as babby spice level. 'vark is a big step up from those.
See this is exactly how I feel about it, I don't know why it's spice level is decried so much. You can think it tastes like shit or whatever you want but the spice is there, it's not an average spice level.

>>10796826
Habanero doesn't appear until far down the ingredient list, therefore you're flat-out wrong, bucko.

>>10796826
>oh noes this sugary tomato sauce is too spicy for my vagina!

>>10794320
You sound brown

>>10792988
lel

I don't get the deal with hot sauces. Add some peppers (paste/sambal) if you want hot. Add a sauce if you want some extra taste. Combining the two only limits options.

>>10796685
My wife Sarah loves to do this.

>>10797082
So we should be using *thick* hot sauces instead?

>>10792975
Habaneros are a meme. They taste like vomit and so does everything they go in.

>>10797145
'Vark sauce barely has any habanero pepper in it. It's not even spicy. Don't lump it in with that meme bullshit

>>10797082
Secret Aardvark Trading Company also has a Spicy Mayonnaise that is thick, mild and extremely sweet.

LOL i never saw tis memme sauce in real life. But im seriously gonna laugh when i do see it next time thhinking of CK

I laugh looking at siracha sauce now. I want to buy me a mini sirachha bottle just to TROLL some fucking ck autist some day.

>>10797145
This

>>10792975
/ck/ likes some awful meme shit, little buddy. lesson learned.

>>10798176
'Vark sauce is actually really good though. People who say they dislike it are being disingenuous because they obviously never tasted it before

>>10799046
you have terrible taste.

>>10792975
>4chan told me some bullshit
Ay, newfag.

>>10794325
You're not supposed to eat it with your sail wind pussy flaps, anon. If you eat it like a normal person with any shred of manhood, it's not spicy at all.

>>10799141
Kill yourself you egenerate retard

>>10792975
It's the best!

>>10796826
7/10
you're pretty good, kid

Let these stupid fucking vark threads die in fiery meme hell

>>10799153
shut up cuck

>>10799871
Kill yourself

It's OK.Tapatio for life fags.

>>10801796
Tobasco

I just want a non vinegary salsa or hot sauce. Is that too much to ask?

>>10802146
That's Why Vark Was Created.

>>10796295
They might buy one bottle. But nobody is gonna buy a second one after they realize it's shit.

>>10802146
You're not gonna find many with no vinegar at all, but there are plenty of thick sauces that don't taste very vinegary.

Try Marie Sharp's.

>>10802909
buying one bottle is better than buying none

>>10802942
Only buying one bottle of 'vark sauce is like just eating 1 potato chip. It's impossible

>varkposters

>>10802921
I like the grapefruit and habanero myself.

>>10803533
This is exactly how I partake in 'vark sauce except I have my Casiopea or Boredoms vinyls playing on my record player as I savor the 'vark sauce and my favorite media.

>>10802364
But your meme sauce is literally all vinegar and sugar, wtf are you talking about?

>>10803563
Not him, but you can barely taste the vinegar in secret aardvark sauce because its so overwhelmingly sweet and its not technically a hot sauce

>>10803533

>>10803606
This is my favorite wojak because we have the same beard

>>10803655

been eating a little too much soy anon?

>>10792975
It's ok if you've only ever had tapatio or other mexican hot sauces. Because that shit is trash and 'vark is slightly less so.

why can't you idiots just use tabasco

>>10801796
Tapatio fucking sucks.

>>10803917
Because vinegar sauces suck and tobacco isn't hot nor good. Maybe if it's all I had but because I'm not eating an MRE or on welfare a can get better shit than bottom of the barrel.

>>10803957
vinegar sauces are clearly the only good sauces.
>here is your bottle of pureed pepper,random ingredients, and xanthan gum,that'll be 14 dollars.
i'd literally rather use ketchup

>>10803973
Vingear based sauces are nasty and lack the sweet goodness of ‘vark.

>>10803973
Where do you find vark for only $14?

>>10803951
Tapatio is good, man. Better than most typical hot sauces.

>>10792975
'rk 'ce is fucking good what is wrong with you

>>10804450
I agree with this. It's the best super common sauce imo.

>>10804450
Tobasco is better

>>10798028
This

>>10804450
that stuff is garbage and you should be ashamed for liking it. It tastes like copper sulfate with cayenne added for "heat"

>>10799168

damn right. thank god there are still some real men like us

>>10808336
I'm a roastie and your selfie made me sooooo wet

>>10798028

square up nigger

>>10808380
:●

>>10808336
That's right, anon. The future is now, and we have moved on. Leave these spice weaklings to ferment in their cock socks.

>>10808380
>That 30 year old boomer who uses Windows 10

>>10804450
It's really not. I'd rather have shit plain than add tarpatio and I love spicy shit.

>>10803973
Or you can have some taste and use sambal or a sauce that doesn't kill the taste of what you're eating and replace it when vinegar

>>10796004
No kidding? I was up in portland when I went through a whole bottle. Bar wasn't even that good.

>>10810169
>replacing it with garlic is better
gas yourself

>>10806962
This.
>>10804450
Melinda's Naga Jolokia Hot Sauce > Chipotle Tabasco > Tabasco > Tapatio > Rooster Sauce