/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Time to stop messing around

Youre going to need

To step

Your game up son

I dont know why this makes me laugh.

Its probably usable

Reddit

No more slimy stovetop
https://youtu.be/6e3z2H1O5zE

>>10665380
Out of all of the the descaler is the only one that's not intended for people with no business cooking or living on their own.

Unitaskers are so comfy.

>hold out your plate darling

>>10665358
do americans really not know how to carry a plate

>the kitchen tool you didnt even know you needed until you got one

Thanks I was having a lot of trouble dude.

>>10665358
>>10665464
Those are actually handy to drop a plate into a steamer.

Its funny how probably 15 000 people brought one of these only to use it once

>>10665465
i just order on yesterday

Hmm..

Do you think the guy that invented this is a millionaire?

>>10665475
>dull beak "knife"
>dull spoon
Who would buy this?

>>10665494
Sadly, yes.

>>10665362
thats actually not that bad, id buy one

>>10665494
God I hope not.....so fucking dumb

>>10665362
>>10665494
Still safer than a mandoline. I hate that Amazon curated the mandoline accident gore photos on their website.

>>10665494
it probably helps people with arthritis, parkinsons or some other reduced mobility with the hands

>>10665573
tfw bought the no cry gloves with my mandoline and slice stuff worry-free

>>10665473
yeah, Chinese grandma has one of these for steaming things.

>>10665465
p cool desu

>>10665605
that's what half these uni-taskers are for but people like to make fun of goofy-looking things despite not knowing what they're for.

>>10665475
My mother used to send me to school with one of these when there was a kiwi in my packed lunch.
Different times.

Inb4 "muh palms"
Harden up, pussy. I did.

>>10665611
tfw when you didn't read the reviews of nocry.
It was even linked in the "frequently bought together" section.

pinch your smartphone app for a pinch of salt
https://youtu.be/o2e1x5IaO7k

>>10665640
wtf no thank you

I did read the reviews and even tested them a little bit before using them.

Now I gotta stick a carrot inside one of the fingers and try to reproduce that horrific review, thanks.

>>10665646
i'd dab on this

>>10665646
This company is now bankrupt right? This is the dumbest thing ever.

>>10665640
>the gloves do nothing
Classic

>>10665675
Quit living in the past, gramps.

>>10665675
>not being this on trend
The only reason I didn't get the juicer thing was because it didn't alexa integration.

This would be kind of helpful

>>10665465
neat idea but i cant help but think it'd end up making whatever you put it down on sticky, and if you have to invert it to avoid it, whats the point of not just using a normal bottle

>>10665646
all the people in this ad look like demons

I use a lot of these things, I am on haldol because my mind doesn't work that well but the side-effects are pretty heavy.

>>10665710
I'd imagine you would just cut into the plastic often because you can't feel where the knife is.

>>10665690
What are the pillows made of?

>>10665646
Imagine going back only 10 years and telling someone that some guy in Indonesia hacked your salt shaker wirelessly and sold access to your salt shaker to the Russian mob who then installed a rootkit on it to make it part of a global network of salt shakers that "mine" a virtual currency they use to launder drug money.

>>10665646
>Can you pass me the salt?
>Sorry man, service has been suspended in Europe Since GDPR

>>10665773
HA

>>10665628
To be fair, that's because these are being marketed to everyone else, rather than being marketed to the actual audience

>>10665646
I mean it's stupid but I guess it takes the guesswork out of measuring if you can't afford $2 for a measuring spoon but can afford $200 in debt for this thing

>>10665444
>people with no business cooking
Just about the worst thing you can do to someone is to make them stay in bed with nothing to do.

>>10665611
>tfw you actually think about what your doin and pay attention when you cook

Seriously just try to care about what you’re doing, haven’t cut myself after a year of using these things at work because I just pay attention we don’t even get gloves or a hand guard.

>>10665759
I believe they are plastic and actually a part of the bed, so you kind of have to stick the sponge in under them.

What dont they make these days

>>10666052
The future truly is now

>>10666052
Stir well, porker

>>10665353
>YWN again have cans with pull tabs you can discard on the beach cutting the feet of everyone else.
feels bad man

>>10665403
>that repeating egg crack sound effect
im rattled

>>10665684
No cry cut resistant

>>10665403
>slimy stovetop
The eggs go in the bowl, not on the countertop

>>10665384
want to bet those aren't heat resistant?

>>10666275
I'm old enough to remember making these

>>10665646
>hang on I gotta charge my salt shaker.

>>10665573
What a stupid bitch. That has absolutely nothing to do with the mandolin and is entirely her fault.

>>10665362
not bad

>>10665475
>>10665483
I didn't realize kiwis were a challenge for some people

>>10665654
this is the only proper response to something as retarded as smalt

>>10665690
I'd unironically buy this.

>>10666446
They're probably not even water-resistant.

>>10665690
I would ironically buy this. Can someone shoop some anime eyes onto this?

>>10665980
Wow how do you keep up with your social media then?

>>10665372
What the fuck

>>10666275
This was the first photo someone took with his new camera.

>>10665690
that's actually pretty cute

>>10665353
Do you have an import license for those pop tops?

>>10666668
or he reset it.

>>10666668
I think they still make those is certain third world shit holes

>>10666655
it's for kraft dinner

I love these threads so goddam much

>>10665690
Alright that's actually kind of funny.

>>10666592

I mean, you could make it without most of these

>>10666592
Two for the price of one.

>>10666754
that looks like a counter top I saw in Florida

>>10665353

A lot of these are designed for old people who live alone with motor control problems.

>>10665718
Looks like they fit into the glass bowls to their left. Can't imagine they wouldn't get sticky, but I'd imagine their meant more for guests than everyday usage.

>>10666777
that's just a reddit meme. they're for dipshits, otherwise they'd put old and cripples in the advertisements and get a million more dollars

>>10666768
Rule 34 someone!

>>10665475
YOURE SUPPOSED TO EAT THE SKIN

>>10665646
She had an upper teeth and gums transplant from a horse. Damn, that's difficult to look at.

>>10665475
what the fuck, kiwis are a hand fruit

>>10665362
You could also use it to tenderize meat if you want for marinades.

>>10665710
Needs more cover for the fingers on the sides, and some on the underside incase the knife slips under.

>>10665362
Great for someone that has stuff like hand tremors.

>>10666761
What is that even supposed to do?

>>10666806
Would buy anything with fatasses on it? Fuk off

>>10667276
>let's advertise to people who don't need it1!!!
show us your invention you sold to regular people

>>10665634
you can just fucking bite right into a kiwi. look at you, telling other people to harden up, and you need a special kiwi spoon

>>10667263
it can be used for crush the fruits such as lemon, apple, orange etc

>>10667333
How?

>>10666478

chainmail for a Mad Max remake?

>>10666052
>not just setting your utensils on a plate
What the fuck?

>>10665646
>let smalt be the centerpiece of your dinner party
>"you stupid ass motherfucker why would you buy such a useless piece of trash."

>>10665353
These are a life saver for when I travel back to 1981 and have a hankering for pop.

>>10665368
This one actually confuses me. Is it to apply pressure to the back of the cleaver? But its not sharp why not just push down with your barehand?

>>10667569
Small v. larger surface area I guess.

>>10666536
I know hating roasties is cool, but I really don't get how you got that she's blaming the tool for the injury.

>>10667610
Fuck off white knight faggot

>>10667629
>being this bad at reading in 2018

>>10666521
Kek

>>10665494
Probably not, he sold it to those TV BUY NOW types. The inventor likely got nothing.

>>10667569

Beware of that hat, it's a killer.

>>10667664
>being this much of a white knight cuck in 3099-1081

>>10667832
You're not on /b/ anymore, junior.

>>10667874
Not him but this board has gone down the shitter so bad in the last few years that it is basically a slow /b/ without the porn.

>>10665980
Literally everyone I've ever talked to that has used a mandoline professionally has a story (usually accompanied by a scar) of a time they fucked up. I'm not going to risk my fingertips or palm just so I can pretend I'm super rad cool on the internet.

>>10667878
it's as if the whole "containment board" concept is a fallacy unless there are actual measures in place to contain them to their board.

>>10667610
She still gave it 5 stars, so I don't think she actually blames the product.

>>10666754
>>10666768
based

>>10665358
this thing is actually useful

t. asian

>>10666744
>Unitasker for kraft dinner accessories
nigger what

>>10668419
>not being 5 levels deep in consumerism
Fuck off commie

>>10666754
>>10666768
Kawaii

>>10665465
i dont get it i dont use syrup much but when i do the bottle it comes in works good enough

>>10666777
>inb4

If you’re disabled - one arm, missing fingers, arthritis etc - then a lot of these would be useful.

>>10666777

I can confirm. A woman I was taking care of with Parkinson's used this.

>>10669481
This looked like a fun joke gift until I noticed the price tag.

>>10665475
I used to eat kiwis with a spoon all my life, always struggling around the white part, until I realized you can just cut the skin off and slice them.

>>10666806
It's the other way around dumbass, they were originally designed for the disabled, then fat fucks started buying them. Like botox was originally a legtitimate medical treatment (they still use it for migraines) until aging housewives started buying it

>>10665353
>babe where's the can opener?
>this one?
>no the one for retards.

>>10666748
we use one of these in my kitchen at work
>plastic "knife" easily halves ripe avo but is terrible with even 1 day shy of ripe
>pit grippers are comparable if not quicker than twisting out using a knife or spooning out
>avo slicer usually mashes ends or any avocados not perfectly aligned and shaped

5/10 it works I guess

>>10665380
You haven't done a lot of fishing, have you?

>>10670203

>>10670404
omg

>>10665573
A mandolin is perfectly safe, assuming you're not literally retarded and thus know how to use the tool properly.

>>10665403
>"you always end up picking out eggshells"
If you're a cockmongling retard, maybe. You learn how to crack an egg perfectly after fucking up maybe once or twice, and second who the fuck cracks eggs on their countertop or stovetop?

>>10665353
Manlet tool defined.
Use your fingers, you weak millenial.

>>10666806
All that mess could be avoided if they just turned the ladle back 90 degrees instead of keeping it angled to the side where shit drips out.

>>10666052
Not a bad idea for ladles or anything with a thick handle. I just use the whole at the end of the pot handle since my stir spoons are all relatively thin.

>>10670418
This......
I've always used the edge of the pan or pot.
two small cracks around the circumference of the egg and then split it in half, no egg shell at all.

I get that we're just senselessly laughing at these without putting in any thought, but a lot of these products would be literal life savers for people with severe arthritis/the very elderly.

>>10669481
I got those for 7 bucks 3 years ago.
They work like a charm.

>>10667419
>needlessly dirty a plate when you could have used a helpful porker instead
Why are you stuck in the past anon?

>>10669527

>>10670527
What does a fairly rare application have to do with making fun of this silly shit in general?

>>10665605
>>10665719
>>10666777
>>10667176
>>10669565
>>10669673
>>10669742
>>10670527
ok, we get it.
but the thing is at least some regular people buy these because they actually think they are more useful than regular kitchen tools and that is whats funny. nobody is laughing about elderly or injured people.

>>10665764
Underrated comment

>>10669481
Fail, for maximum effect you also have to cover your nose. I just use snorkling goggles.

>>10665764
Hidden gold right there.

>>10670736
based

>>10666052
>think the guy that invented this is a millionaire?
>ever leaving a wooden spoon near a stove, EVER

>>10665951
>I have to go into debt to spend $200

shouldn't you be at your 3rd or 4th job right now? if you need resume help hmu I can make burger-flippers sound like management material on paper.

>ITT
>when your mom has a brilliant product idea

>>10665646
we've gone too far

>>10667333
jej

>>10669527
im good, thanks

>>10665773
Kek very clever. Have a (You)

>>10665372
why?

>>10665646
>66:1100 like:dislike ratio
>comments are disabled for this video
Are people actually waking up to the IoT?

>>10666536
She gave it five stars and has be careful in the title of the review. Pretty sure you're the only one who thinks she's blaming a tool for her own injury

>>10671501
Those kinds of sausages are pretty good when sliced like that and combined with cubed potato and other unknown meats.

>>10671881
>comments disabled
maybe?

>>10665483
>>10665475
>not eating every part
REEEEEE

>>10670745
what is this even used for? at first i thought it was meant to move them into a fryer but the shells are already cooked. it can't be meant for stuffing the taco either.

>>10665475
The skin of a kiwi is delicious

>>10672529
It's a taco bender

>>10672529
It's used to make hard taco shells from corn tortillas. You put a soft (uncooked) corn tortilla in it, stick it in then hot oil, and then it cooks and gets fixed in the "taco" shape.

>>10665403
I mean this is probably for people with one arm..

>>10665358
>probably used because dish might get too hot to carry
>handle is positioned above which is the way hot steam goes

Shitty

>>10665457
say when!

this thread will be the end of me

>>10665403
>Uh Oh! Crunchy egg shells ruined those muffins!
Aside from old people with disabilities like Parkinsons and such, I have a really hard time imagining someone who knows how to make home-made muffins, but can't crack an egg

>>10673070
Those have nothing to do with hot plates. They are for setting down plates on a crowded table where it is awkward to reach your hand.

There is a similar product used for removing canning jars from a boiling water bath. Normally your hand isn't over the steam long enough for it to matter. You can always put on gloves if you are concerened.

Epic thread

>>10665403
>Bangs egg directly on counter

>>10666655
>>10671501

That's how you're supposed to slice it if you give it to small children.

>>10670413
But Anon, if I use that stupid plastic guard that still ends up letting me get almost 100% yield while keeping my fingers completely safe I will not be able to LARP as Ron Swanson any more

>>10665362
Looks awesome for its intended use but it looks way too much like a fur comb.

>>10666761

That's not a new idea. I have a metal one that's been in the family since the 1950s.

>>10665646
>want some salt
>forgot the wifi password again

>>10665710

>>10665690
I would get this

>>10675414
pfft yeah, you WOULD get that

>>10674318
That's what you're supposed to do. Bang it on the counter to crack the shell, then hold it over the bowl and flip it open one-handed. If you're separating, hold your hand underneath to catch the yolk and let the white slip through your fingers.

If you do it any other way you're still learning.

>>10665475
>not eating the kiwi whole, skin and all
Get on my level.

>>10675421
>Implying you wouldn't

>>10665690
I looked it up on eBay.
Fifteen fucking dollars. Fuck that shit.

>>10665646
>Does is dispense pepper and stuff too?
>NO, ONRI SARUTO

>>10675489
nah I wouldn't get it cause im not a total fuckin dweeb, unlike u, dweeb boy

>>10666768
"Pomf"

>>10665384
Where can I buy one?

>>10665684
Ze gloves, zey do nothing

>>10672876
It's probably harder to get the egg in while not holding the other end than to just crack the egg one handed.

>>10665710
these fucking painted knives leaving chips of paint in the food what the fuck

Bro, be realistic, we gotta do things right bro.

Guys, we gotta do things proper

We gotta get this asparagus done guys.

>>10676763
That's legit helpful for older people though

You just gotta...

>>10665403
so instead of washing your hands you have to wash another utensil

You done with that 'cado senpai? Let me get that.

It's so damn simple.

The right tool for the job.

>>10666761
id love to see someone try to crush an apple with that thing

>>10665646

Who eats round eggs anymore?!

the only legit invention I've ever seen on TV was that computer-stabilized spoon for people with Parkinson's

How else should we do it genius.

Let me help you.

>>10672529
>doesn't know how to use taco scissors
ISHYGDDT

The only way to serve carrots.

The only way to get this job done.

>>10676790
Ok that's cute

>>10676809
That's legit cool af

>buying things that only work for specific shapes/sizes
>for foods that don't come in specific shapes/sizes
I surely hope noone does that

>>10676763
>>10676778
That might be the only product here actually intended for old people

>>10676809
I bet weed would help that dude

>>10676817
Oh my friend's mom has and tries to use these. They are fucking terrible

>>10676948
Should just bring your mum along, she can fit all shapes and sizes

>>10676829
That's actually pretty neat. Time to boil a pencil sharpener.

>>10665372
>>10665380
>>10665457
>>10665465
>>10665710
these are neat. i hope they make something like the hot dog thing but for bigger things, like a block of cheese or spam

>>10669527
Oh jesus no

>>10676763
white kids will soon be bringing these bad boys to school

>>10676786
>straitjacket for avocados gone bad

>>10675581
Anywhere that carries soylent or blacked.com subscription codes

>>10670413
>A mandolin is perfectly safe, assuming you're not literally retarded and thus know how to use the tool properly.

This gives me an idea. Lets spam ja/ck/s YouTube and ask him to review a mandolin and wait for the inevitable video of him cutting a finger off

>>10665465
Does it work with ketchup?

You want some asparagus with that, m8?

>>10665764
Highly underrated, wish I could upvote and give you gold

>>10677203

You're onto something. What else could we suggest to fuck with him? "Hey Jack can you please try deep-frying a frozen turkey, I'm considering doing that for Thanksgiving this year but I want a pro's take on this first."

>>10677234
There's a new season of MST3K out?

>>10665654
You cute.

>>10677203
>mandolin
You want jack to start reviewing musical instruments?

>>10675562
Wah! What are we gonna do on the sink?

>>10677234
Yes please, tell me again how you lost your hand in that teribble accident.

>>10677287
aw bby plz :)

>>10677273
n00b
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q38l5ORtOWc

>>10677313
why do you always have to bring this up?

>>10669481
How will putting goggles on my onion keep me from tearing up?

>>10669527
Why in gods name does it come in a 2 pack?

>>10677565
Another for a friend

>>10677565

>>10665764
10/10

>>10676817
That seems like a fundamental misunderstanding of how scissors operate.

>>10669527
fking saved.

this thread is full of gold.

>>10677584
They are supposed to be long enough to reach the center of the pizza with only one squeeze.

>>10676817
How is that better than a knife? It doesn't have the lower blade, so you are basically just pushing a knife down awkwardly.

>>10677591
Sure, but there's no scissor action there. Bringing a blade to a flat surface isn't a scissor, no matter how the handles are shaped.

>>10676809
im impressed (registered nurse)

>>10677234
Next evolution of Crocs

Behold, the TriceraTaco.

>>10677615
AHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>10677615

>>10677605
It works just like normal scissors.

>>10677608
>(registered nurse)
That's why you're impressed.
An engineering degree would have you know about this technology already.

But tacos aren't all that can hold! You haven't had toast until you've had it from the back of a dinosaur.

>>10677627
I dont build them.
I just need tools to help my patients.

Want some oil with that?

>>10665980
>just try to care about what you’re doing
>food service
Pick one.

>>10665611
If you trust your hand to a little glove you will only get complacent, good luck when you suddenly lose the glove one day and have to shit out 4 bushels of sliced onions and tomatoes; RIP in peace fingers.

>>10677615
>>10677628
Someone put two tins of deenz in there.

>>10677615
would unironically get

>>10677636
I know. I just think it's cringy how you had to mention you're an RN. It makes us all look bad.
Any particular field? I worked with neuro-rehab for a while so I guess it's possible these tools just seem more common-knowledge me than to you. Currently ICU.

>>10677626
No, it doesn't. Scissors operate by sliding two blades past each other. A sharp surface meeting a flat surface is just a knife attached to a spatula, without the ability to apply differential pressure. It's basically a combining of two tools into one that's worse at the job and can't be used for other jobs.

>>10677653
>I just think it's cringy how you had to mention you're an RN. It makes us all look bad.
I dont see how it makes any of us look bad.

Alzheimer/Parkinson patients are some of my most difficult, and anything, anything at all, that helps them feed themselves is a massive bonus for them interms of personal autonomy/quality of life, and saves me time having to feed them.

>>10675508

>>10665358
*hand jolts slightly*
*spaghetti spills all over the floor*
oh no if only i had used a paper towel folded over like a normal person

>>10677628
>peanut butter on the outside
Why would you do this

>>10677565
One is for the wieners. The other one is for the "wiener".

>>10668186
Oooh remember when the soyboys coudn't open the bottles, good times

>>10666065
that's anti-white

this is why trump won

>>10666806
>implying anyone wants to see old cripples in their commercials

>>10677628
>those super tiny ass sandwishes compared to teh cracker's size for reference
>peanut butter on plastic

>>10665759
sweet dreams

this is an amazing thread thank you for making it

in another life i'd make love to you but not today

>>10677642

>Invite boss over for dinner
>Wife prepares wonderful dinner
>Charming family and home
>Bread and salad is served
>"Would you like some oil for dipping or to dress your salad sir?"
>"Yes that sounds wonderful thank you"
>Bring out bottle of aged balsamic
>Topped with a tiny fucking Aladdin lamp
>Passed over for promotion

Mfw

>>10675522
Viper no....

>>10677644
the glove is less to allow me to get complacent and more to quiet the voice in my head screaming "YOU'RE GOING TO SLICE YOUR FINGERTIPS OFF! ALL OF THEM!"

>>10676742
what's the dog for?

>>10677697
just connect them to a tube famm

>>10677234
k, what is it "actually" for?

>>10677203

>>10677007
based

>>10678573
>he doesnt know what its for

>>10667419
I use paper towels because I'm not poor

>>10677234
proven fake

>>10676809
is that ridley Scott?

>>10676790
Alright back in my day little japanese girls labored over making the perfect octopus wiener and now they've just got some tool. This is ridiculous

>>10679569
Now they learn how to cut and prepare actual squid. Seems like an upgrade to me.

>>10679393
Hihihihi

>>10665611
>>10665640
A chainmail glove, however, works perfectly

>>10667878

That actually makes /ck/ a better /b/ than /b/ is

>>10678554
absorbing your soul

>>10677653

You seem like a cunt

>>10665573
I've never cut myself on my mandolin but I have cut myself with a vegetable peeler a few times. Do people not understand to slow down when you get to the end?

>>10670736
based frogposter

>>10670836
based basedposter

>>10676809
almost all of these products are for people with disabilities

>>10676837
Don't you fucking diss spiralisers.

>>10677627
>>10677653
>cringy
>oh look at me, I am an engineer, EVERY engineer knows about this
Careful, your spaghetti is spilling out onto the floor. Maybe you should just go back to wherever you autists congregate.

the older i get the more i appreciate all the little tricks and skills Ive picked up by working in the food industry.
i really enjoy doing things the simple and effective way, i usually have most of the cook ware clean by the time the meal is made.

I really like my tilt sensitive automatic pepper grinder though.

>>10676837
This shit is great fuck you I spiral everything I eat. I'll put you in my next story faggot

>>10677653
>>10677627
People like you is why engineers being gay jokes exist

>>10677600
>>10677655

>>10677697
Don't listen to him, everyone knows ICU nurses have gigantic sticks up their asses

>>10680007
I mean, think of everyone you have ever known who was a med student. Every single one of them was a complete asshole, right? That's the pool that your nurses and doctors are being pulled from. Complete cunts, the lot of them. Almost as bad a dental students.

>>10677655
>he never used a paper cutting machine

>>10680137
those still have the blade move past an edge, not just stop on a surface.

>>10670930
If actually love some help, anon

>>10665646

>>10666478
get out boomer

>>10677615
>tri

>>10680208
Do kids really not like dinosaurs anymore? How can you not know what a triceratops is and why it's called that?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsJgPA3cgYU
How many internet connected food items are there?

>>10680223
point is to why not make it hold 3 things if ur using a triceratops for your design u fkn dummy

>>10680208
Tri means three.
Cera means Michael Cera (but that word is forgotten since you don't want to associate with him).
Tops are the horns, since you need a spike in a spinning top so it will spin.
So, Tri(cera)tops means three horns.

>>10679689
based

>>10675437
>>10672570
>>10672345
>>10666836

guess how I know you're from a 3rd world country

>>10679995
What in gods name do you think you're highlighting?

Op here, i think this thread can stay up a bit longer right

>>10677578
This might be the first time I have ever seen the full advertisement for this