/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10601261
>that pic
Jack is like a real life brainlet Wojack
WoJACK
holy shit

where the fuck is jack's brain? his skull is almost non existent

>>10601302
Jack's body is one giant brain constantly rearranging itself into whatever it deems necessary at the moment.

>>10601261
Fucking Christ he literally has the same brain capacity of a neanderthal.

>>10601261
I don't really care about you or your wall of text, but I legitimately want to see an x-ray of Jack's skull now.

>>10601261

Met a 17 year old on some online game that lived in the next state over. I agreed to meet her over spring break. Drove 300 miles and met her in a BK parking lot. Of course she didn't look at all like the pictures she sent me, but I kind of expected that. The pics she sent were her sexy blonde cousin. She was a little chubby and nerdy looking, but definitely fuckable. Had freckles and long red hair. I wanted to know what fucking a virgin was like and hadn't gotten pussy in about a year. Anyway, there was basically just a Chili's, a Ponderosa, a couple of hotels and fastfoods and a Walmart in this shit town. We just walked around Wal-Mart getting snacks and a box of condoms. She kept saying how I was much taller and muscular than she expected. She said I looked like a lumberjack. (Watever the fuck that means) Back at the cheap motel we ate pre-chopped over priced watermelon, coolranch doritos, peanut M&Ms, Jack's links and orange pop. We just sat there watching like David Letterman and music videos on VH1 or something with all this junk food all over the bed. At about 2 in the morning I worked up enough courage to make a move on her. Bad and awkward make out session, then I stuck my hand down her pants. I had to throw the dorritos and pop on the chair in the corner and lay her down. She was super tight and the condom was bloody after I took it off. We stayed the next two nights sucking each other off, taking walks along the river, and watching cable.

>>10601616
Don't know where her parents were during all of this. I think she told them she was visiting a friend.

>>10601634
Of course she could have told them she was hanging at her cousin's but again I'm not sure.

>>10601616
>sucking each other off

>>10601711
What, you've never sucked a pussy off?

>>10601716
you forgot to say no homo

>>10601726
I thought it was implyed because you know, the whole sticking my dick inside of her pussy thing

Pretty much anytime we go out because my girlfriend's a fucking idiot who's just looking to get mad about the stupidest shit.

>>10601377


>>10601377
>t. Brainlet
The post

>>10601298

who are y'all quoting

>>10601377
So you think he's smarter than most humans?

>>10602918
>nigga gets free shit and paid to eat and "critique" food online
>h-he's a brainlet...!

ok champ, it's alright to be jealous

>>10602964
youre right im sooooo jealous

>>10602918
fucking lol
>>10602964
we're talking about the shape of his head, dipshit

>>10603013
on a food and cooking board....

Jack spammers should go to foxdicks, where pathetic betas circle jerking over how much better they are than "lowcows" is on topic

>>10603017
it's lolcows
also, OP's pic was Jack. And you're saying we can't observe something in the picture and then comment on it? Fuck off.

>>10601768
*dab*

>went to see Suicide Squad with this one chick
>she talked the whole ride to the theater
>we get into theater and she wants to sit in back
>tries feeding me popcorn
>put arm around her shoulder
>she keeps looking up at me during movie and getting really close
>movie is cringy so I take off my glasses and chill
>movie over, we go walk around the mall and she talks literally the whole 2 hours of us doing that
>go to TGI Fridays with her because it's close
>she asks me "why didn't you ask me out"
>"I don't know"
>put my relationship status to taken with another person
Haven't talked to her since

>>10603646
>suicide squad, the mall, and TGI Fridays for a date
Teen love is the cutest

>>10603646
I don't get it.

>>10601616
>met girl on an online game
>looks different
>we spent the next two nights sucking each other off
op gave a guy a blowjob for 2 days

>>10601716
you duck suck a pussy off you eat her pussy out... fucking fag

>>10601616
>sucking each other off
Boy, that was no pussy you just had your dick in.

>>10602977
Where's your wife?

Oh... right...

>>be 20 something, first weekend trip with my then GF
>>visit tavern in Prague that prides itself on its centuries of history
>>old communal oak tables, probably had its own brew of beer
>>GF insists on ordering a piña colada
>>self-righteous server goes into a full hissy, ranting how they aren't the kind of place that will serve a piña colada
>>lol, she is now my wife

>>10603927
hissy fit

>>10603927
Which tavern? I live near Prague

>>10601261
Come back in two years...

>>10603646
That sounds EXACTLY like a movie date i had with this one stank puss nigger slut,movie was a fucking cringe fest desu

Geez and I thought my date was awfull when she ordered a side of raw onions