/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>Grandparents visit
>This means lunch at Golden Corral
>Goblin children sticking their hands into the chocolate fountain and slurping the chocolate off and sticking them back in
>Chocolate fountain gets shut down halfway through our meal because someone put cotton candy into it and it dissolved and fucked it up
>The pizza and fried chicken were actually breddy good if you were there for a fresh tray

FACT: only fat people enjoy buffets

>>10559819
Incorrect

>Started dating a woman with kids
>Calls me up and invites me to dinner
>Says we're going to China King Buffet
>Whatever. I'm just looking for some tush
>Me, the girlfriend and her three kids are chowing down
>Not too shabby
>The kids are devouring everything
>They order extra stuff off the menu
>They sure are some eating motherfuckers
>Getting ready to go, the waitress brings the bill over
>Hands it to me
>Girlfriend, "Oh, that's very sweet of you. Thank you!
>Realize I got suckered into buying her whole clan dinner
>Didn't even get laid

>>10559819
Wrong.

>>10559839
Post your weight and I will return to being correct

>>10559844
>Started dating a woman with kids
Boooooy getcho ass

obligatory
http://www.pjwnex.us/media/text/Golden_Corral.txt

>>10559849
Pretty sure you need weight, height and gender anon. If i just said 200lbs you wouldn't know anything.

>>10559844
>>10559877
not even just that, but fucking THREE kids.
>Boooooy getcho ass
is completely right. damn, boy, what are you thinking?

>>10559844
you walked right into that, you have no one to blame but yourself you doofus

>>10559819
what about all those chinese tourists?

>>10559730
You don't like chinese food you fucking racist?

>>10559792
Can confirm this
>el goblino jr. comes up to steak line
>guy asks "medium or well done?"
>"small"
Their medium is medium-well to well-done, and their well done is about 2 minutes past that.

>>10559819
I love buffets. I'm 160 and 5'11"

>>10559844
>dating a woman that literally has another man's dna in her brain
Lol, that's a fucking mistake, bro.

>>10559730
>that guy getting what you don't want that you pass to get what you do want and gets mad as if it's actually a line

>>10559938
>that literally has another man's dna in her brain
wut

>>10559792
When it comes to misbehaving kids in public I feel like mexicans and indians are the worst culprits while white and black children are generally polite.

>>10559951
https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2017/08/15/male-dna-is-often-found-in-womens-brains-where-does-it-come-from

>>10559962
And even that article is butthurt about it and doublethinks into the stratosphere. Just one of the first results reddit can't screech at for not being salon or buzzfeed.

The first and only oyster I ate was at a buffet, it was full of sand which deterred me from eating more and I got explosive diarrhea for three days afterward from something

>>10559955
This
The first thing I think of when I think "bratty kids" is a white child, when really that's far from the actual archetype

>>10559792
the next time you see a chocolate fountain, discretely spill a bit of water in it

>>10559971
She also correct in saying
>They don’t survive more than a few days, even in the oviduct, which evolved to store them. And most importantly, they can’t divide.
If she meant they don't live more than 6 days.
But DNA, and amino acids themselves, are much more durable than that. Many lifeforms undergo alternating haploid and diploid (a)sexual cycles. Are these genetic strands truly discharged from an organ designed to store sperm?
Viruses are RNA with or without a primitive protien capsid, after all. Bacteria undergo horizontal gene transfer. Is the idea really so far fetched that humans can do the same?
Sexual selection had always been a powerful evolutionary force. Like mice whose sperm swim together like an Oxford rowteam. Gnats that coil their sperm because it's bigger than their body.

>>10560040
Good luck getting near the chocolate fountain with all the spawn circling it and feeding like buzzards on a deer carcass. White, brown, black, yellow it's ubiquitous.

>>10559991
Now that I think about it it's because those goblins have litters of children so they can't control them.

>>10560127
Best if we can kick them in the face. God I hate those little shits.

>>10559955
>black children are generally polite

I have a feeling some people would disbelieve that.

>>10559730
>be me 15 years ago
>go to golden corral for breakfast
>fork has green onion caked on it
>go to buffet line
>fat, black woman with curlers in her head is eating from her plate that is resting on her boobs
>little nigglets are grabbing food with their hands, sampling it, then throwing back what they didn't eat
>i've never been to a buffet since then

>>10560205
They surprisingly are, their criminal tendencies don't start until junior high

>go to golden corral last year for dads birthday
>nigga that looks like birdo sitting alone at table
>hes fucking massive
>has to move table when he gets up
>go to restroom
>same dude trying to get into stall
>he cant get through stall door
>he rushes out to go home
another
>hooters near me gets buffet
>there with the lads after high school years ago
>obese asian man grabbing piles of wings in front of us
>walks away
>fucking hear his stomach gurgle before he evacuates his stomach contents on the floor
>girls shook
>buffet gone by tuesday

>>10560236
Puberty I assume.

lived in san diego when i was a kid and this was the only buffet i remember my parents liking as well as me and my little brother. is it just nostalgia hitting me or is souplantation actually good? anyone go there recently?

>>10559730
Buffets are the worst eating experiences humanly possible

>going to buffet
>paid shit
>got shit
Meh.

>>10559943
I hate buffets, but I like reading these threads. I think there's a fine line of buffet line etiquette in those situations. I do think most buffets are directional in that you're supposed to start at the clean plates, then generally move towards the other end. Skipping over people is probably seen as rude if there are enough people to actually form a human line, especially if you drop in right in front of somebody, especially if you don't politely say something like "excuse me". My gut feeling is that hopping around is ok when there are just a couple other people, but it's fucking rude if there are 3 or more other people up there. That's where you start getting into the territory of mobs of Chinese tourists shoving people to grab all the crab legs. Like merging in traffic. If you can drop in smoothly, it's cool. If you merging causes traffic to slow down you're being a douche.

This is from ye' olde internet. The GOAT buffet story. RIP in peace Ryan's Steakhouse. I loved you so much.
http://www.ihos.com/steakhouse.html

>>10560471

We used to go to the one in Clairemont all the time. That pizza and cornbread was kino. I live out of state, did they go out of business or something?

>>10560471
Its called Sweet Tomatoes in the south.

>>10560749
not that i know of i just moved to the east coast a long time ago and havent been back in a while. fuck i miss it, good to know its good food
>>10560767
how south? im in MD but im bout to see if there are any in VA

>go on a roadtrip with dad
>stop in a small town and go to the chinese buffet
>we're the only customers in there with 5 other waitresses and waiters
>food selection is literally just 8 trays
>eat awkwardly while the rest of the staff just stands there and watches us

Shit was spooky

I've never been to a buffet restaurant. In fact I don't think I've seen a single on in my entire city, but I could be wrong.

>>10560783
FL here. I think they are that far up, I could be mistaken.

>>10560824
i looked but the nearest one is in georgia :( thanks though

>take the overnight ferry
>breakfast buffet
>eat breakfast foods while watching some scenery and entering the harbor
it was good

I had my first encounter with morbidly obese people at a chinese buffet

>went to local buffet with parents and sibling
>a bit further down from us a group of fat people are seated
>they are so big, fat draping over their waists and booth that I can’t stop staring
>during dinner they pull an extra table next to them and pile it up with plates of the king crab legs
>until we are finished we’re stuck listening to the sounds of them cracking and sucking down on the crab legs

Now this sort of thing is the norm.

>>10560857
>Not grabbing the fresh king crab legs and big dickin an extra table for such
How do you even live with yaself, runt peenus?

>>10560857
it's the modern day freakshow
pay $20 to eat a meal and see the landwhales also eat

>>10559730
>pizza buffet
>pizza isnt cut all the way through
>people look at you like a barbarian because the spatula sitting there wont cut through the fucking pizza so you use your hands

>>10559819
truth.

Nobody been to Vegas? They have good buffets. Shitty ones too but it seems like we're basing everything of Golden Corral and Shitty Wok.

>>10559844
would pound that loli day and night desu

>>10560887
fuck those people. next time take the entire pizza and then smile at them as you walk to your seat.

I think I've come up with a way to tell how bad a buffet place is going to be. How dirty and bad the decor is usually the best indicator

>>10559730
Ate sushi at a buffet once and got hella food poisoned

>>10560816
was probably a front

>>10560471
here north of LA
They got one in glendale, chatsworth, and lancaster
It's pretty good the times I have gone. Everything is clean and you dont see people chimping out like you do in the golden corral/hometown buffet stories

Ive been to a couple of buffets and Ive never seen people chimping out.
Is it just a thing that happens in the south??

All you can eat sushi/KBBQ is pretty good since they bring you stuff to your table and if you dont finish your food they charge you so thats kinda like a deterrent from wasting food

>>10560816
they were probably closing, you dick.

>>10560205
The black children with the father there tend to behave for the most part.

>eat at buffet
>feel sick for the next few hours
I know it will happen every time, but I still go.

>>10559730
I've never been to Golden corral before but with all the horror stories I don't think I ever will.
Shit what the hell us golden corral anyways I only have ever seen it mentioned here.

>>10560909
Kill yourself.

>>10559955
Spoiled white kids are the fucking worst.

I despise all children mostly equally, but there is a special circle of hell reserved for parents who let their kids shriek, tantrum, and annoy strangers in public, and it is almost always white kids.

>>10560471

Gf and I used to go all the time. Salad bar is GOAT.

>>10560471
they had e coli in the one at foothill ranch lol

>>10561067
You should go at least once purely for the entertainment value. You'll see shit there that makes the amerilard stereotype seem absurdly underdone.

>>10559844
>Realize I got suckered into buying her whole clan dinner
>Didn't even get laid
Do yourself a favor and drop that one.

If you're rich enough to easily afford that, you can do better than a woman with kids.

>>10561217
>it is almost always white kids.
Yea, no it's not. Try being around cultures where girls behave and men are little kings not to talk down to. Then, you'll see some special snowflakes raising hell in restaurants.

>>10560040
I always thought that was chili

>>10559730
I recently went to a casino buffet that included pic related, as much as you care to eat for $20

>>10561300
Australian here, how do they make money? Crabs are expensive as fuck here.

>>10561338
i think casinos can afford to take a big loss on anything thats not the actual casino itself. they make so much fucking money from losers that they can hemorrhage money on things like buffets to try and lure more people in

>>10561338

Buffets make money from recycling/rationing items, (some) charging for beverages, requiring less staff, etc. Casino buffets also consider the fact that you'll hit the casino floor later and may take a little loss on the buffet just to get people in.

>>10559730
>Go to Golden Corral's breakfast alone
>Eat a bunch of fried chicken, bacon, sausage, etc
>Even had them fry me up a couple of eggs
>Finish my juice and go to the bathroom to take a shit before I finish up and get icecream
>Shit isn't that bad but I keep wiping and it comes up brown
>Keep wiping
>Keep wiping
>Eventually clean and I try flushing
>Shit gets clogged
>No plunger so I power walk out of the bathroom
>Down another cup of juice and walk out
>Wait a few hours and send them a complaint email
>Tell them someone clogged the toilet and it ruined my experience
>Tell them I had to leave the restaurant because it made me sick
>tfw they end up sending me four free buffet coupons

>>10561368

>>10561200
no

Hate going to this shit.

>$10 entrance fee appeals only to vile gluttons so the whole place is lined with disgusting retard slobs sweating and coughing and spitting while chewing
>everyone is always super entitled and act like its their moral duty to eat obnoxious amounts of food that even a grizzly bear would recoil from
>it's a "get a heart attack as fast as you can" episode
>these fuckers raising my healthcare costs when I exercise daily and dont eat any junk except if desperate on a road trip
>cheap enough for everyone so have to sit in the thick tension between racists and blacks eating at tables next to each other
>old white fucks sucking up my tax dollars have the audacity to complain about the $10 buffet food I paid for

Buffets are hell

>>10561418
>casted
It's just cast

>>10561418
>dont eat any junk except if desperate on a road trip
Want a cookie you little bitch?

When I was a kid, every time I went to Ponderosa I would get sick from eating chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup. I knew I would get sick and my family tried to warn me but I liked the taste so much I didn't listen. Eventually I tried it with caramel instead of chocolate syrup and not only did I not get sick, it tasted a lot better too.

>>10559819
i'm 6'3" and buffets are the only places where i can actually feel full after a meal and not feel like i'm getting ripped off :(

>>10559844
>3 kids
You are asking for it mate

>>10561469
I wasn't looking to get married, I just wanted to tap it for a while until something better came along.

I ended up meeting an alcoholic Russian chick who was much more enjoyable.

>>10561007
Since time immemorial all kids behave better when their fathers are there. It's not a race thing. I have no idea why this simple fact of life is politically incorrect to mention. Dad watching you = don't be a shit.

>Go to buffet with family
>Everybody only has one plate of food
>Not even dessert
>Feel compelled to overeat because I don't want to waste my money like this

I don't understand. Why go to a buffet if you're only going to have fried chicken and pizza or a whole plate of macaroni? I understand if you don't want to eat a lot, but at least have steak or something to make it worth the price. Most of it is shit-quality food but the appeal of it is having a wide variety of it.

>>10561338
Just by getting you into the casino to gamble.

Would you?

>>10561281
>where girls behave and men are little kings not to talk down to.
Stop being retarded. Literally white people majority of the time with their spoiled as fuck children. Either white or rich (non Asian)

Indian and Chinks keep their families in check unless they are heavily Americanized. Don't you dare talk back to any afro female more trouble than the kids, Hispanics beat their children.

Wipipo are oblivious, mother usually spoil the kids until their fat, and then slut around later in life with their daughter. If the father doesn't have control son will be a punk and say he'll tell mommy not to have sex with him anymore.

The latter were hyperboles but fuck white people. I watched a boomer white man delib kick around fruits a clerk was trying to clean up, clerk asks him to stop, and some white woman with her son, UNRELATED to the guy starts bitching to me about how disrespectful the clerk was and asks for the manager.

>>10559730
>Go to buffet with Dad and his friend
>Dads friend is wierd old guy who is friends with the staff at every single buffet
>Get inside the buffet the owner is eating a fucking maruchan soup
>Place is completely empty when suddenly like a hundred Mexicans walk in
>They swarm the food and don't let us get near

>>10559844
>Girlfriend
So you took a women and her kids out for dinner and you think she's your girlfriend, really?
And then you paid for it, lmao, kill yourself

>convince parents to have my 9th bday party at cici's pizza
>this is when it was still a semi-decent joint
>so excited
>gonna eat tons of pizza and cake and all my friends are gonna be there
>we're gonna play crazy taxi and area 51 and all the other cool games
>get there, get our tables squared away, about to fucking party my little 9 year old ass off
>little group of snot covered niglets wandering around
>look over and one of them is poking at my pile of presents
>dad tells him to fuck off
>we start playing video games
>the niglets wander over and start trying to play the games while we're playing
>like actually taking the plastic guns from us in the middle of a game
>tell dad
>he yells at them to leave us the fuck alone
>few minutes later, another one wanders over and starts taking pieces of our pizza off our tables
>dad stands up and screams at the little chimp to get the fuck away from us
>sheboon clan leader runs over, clutching monkey toddler in her arm fat and dragging another behind her
>"tha fuck you think you doin yellin at mah lil baby like dat, he dindu nuthin wrong"
>dad turns and points at the table to show her how shitty her spawn is
>right at that moment, one of the toddlers pukes up some kind of neon blue chunky shit all over our table
>she grabs all the kids and power waddles out of the place
>bday almost ruined but i got a really cool mighty max set that day so its ok

>>10561549
I wouldn't even if it was prepared by Jack.

>>10559844
>being forced to pay for dinner for 5 at china king
Who cares it's $20 at most.

>>10561550
If you're around enough people of every race you'll come up with stories like that for all of them.

>>10559844
>Dating a woman with a kid
>Dating a woman with 3 kids
>Dating a woman with 3 kids and going out to dinner with her
>Dating a woman with 3 kids and going out to dinner with her and her kids
>Dating a woman with 3 kids and going out to dinner with her and her kids at a buffet
You fucking deserved it completely, you retard.

>>10561561
Well, was it area 51 or site 4? Did you save up all your powerup launchers to kill the final boss?

>>10561345
Thats it.

>>10561569
>Who cares I got cucked, used and humiliated
Every man within eyesight see's you fed and paid for another mans thot and kids and we notice this and we judge you for it faggot, it's the principle not the price

>>10561549
If it was a really busy place yes.... not if it was a slower one.

>>10559730
How about dolla twenty-five scoop? Is that a buffet? Never been, looks awful.

>>10559844
But at least you did brought and eat it with your 'vark sauce right? Things would be alright, my wife's son had similar thing happened to him in the past.

>>10561418
>casted
I'd bet a popeye meal the nigger who made this also tries to start with with whites about seasoning their food on twitter and then get's butthurt over crime statistics as a response

>>10561589
>Every man in eyesight is a psychic
>They know he's not the father

Sounds like a scary place

>>10561570
I live in New York City you fag, I already am. Not to mention I've visited every relevant state and city in this country.

>>10559819
>t.never been invited to party
>t.never go to hotel breakfast
You seems a bit autistic you dingus

>>10561675
Yeah when she has a blonde girl and two niglets we know you're not the father of any

>>10561571
This guy I know started dating a girl with three kids and they've been together now for like ten years. Have no kids of their own. Worst part is the kid's real dad still comes around and like hangs out at their house sonetimes.

>>10561663
>make banter
>get called a violent subhuman in response
wtf why so mad lol

>Go to Golden Corral
>Expectations low, but I'm craving fried chicken and their yeast rolls
>Have a salad, eat some fried chicken and okra. Have to piss because I'm drinking a shitton of water to wash down their salty food
>Enter bathroom. It's the rankest fucking smelling bathroom I've ever, ever been in.

I've never, and NEVER have I ever been so grossed out by an odor before. Whoever had made a movement in there had obvious medical issues, perhaps even something like colon cancer. The memory actually haunts me when I think or talk about it. The smell sort of wells up in my brain. I almost threw up, and had to hold my breath the whole time to avoid doing so.

Definitely did not have an appetite after that. God, just mentioning it makes me queasy. I don't think I can eat there ever, just worrying that I might have to smell that same smell again....

>>10559955
You spelled asian kids wrong.
They're often most polite just because they've been beaten or left in public.

>>10561694
Damn dude. Wonder what their staff turnover is like.

>>10561569
lmao no
2 adults and 3 kids is going to be like $60

>>10561693
Why would I get angry exactly, that you insult the English language?
Or do you think I go to the zoo and get angry at monkeys? I don't see your point, please enlighten me

>>10561718
tryhard

>>10561663
>with with
t. spic

>>10561725
Oh I'm the try hard right? After I perfectly described your "peoples" temperament and behavior, sure bud
Hey why don't you link your mixtape while you're posting

>>10561726
Half right

>>10561694
People with poor diets can have really awful smelling poop, and someone eating at Golden Corral is probably more likely to have a poor diet. I think that like half the weight of poop is just from bacteria, so if your digestive bacteria is out of whack from a poor diet, food is "rotting" instead of "fermenting" and can smell like a dead animal.

>>10559730
I want to eat that soup.
I want to learn how to make that soup.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YuM2PGx51U

>>10560909
A special place in hell is reserved just for you

>>10560737
Damn, thanks for the classic.

>>10560909
You're a piece of shit pedophile

>>10561550
>Chinks keep their families in check

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBCLXZmMQNs

>>10560909
You monster!

>>10559844
$50 isn't bad if you have a thriving job and want to accomplish the poon.

>>10561657
>my wife's son

>>10561748
Yeah, you're right. Maybe it's tmi, but I fully move a meal I had through my bowels in ~24 hours. I read somewhere that people who binge on red meat (more than 8oz or so portion per day) can have that literal shit sitting in their colon for like 4 days straight while it basically turns rancid.

Indian buffet kept a jug of milk for tea and coffee in the refrigerated sections with the cakes and profiteroles. Friend poured milk on his profiteroles thinking it was cream and felt utterly dejected. It was amusing.

>>10559730
>mfw after trying all local buffets until i found a good one
>have seen people blow their nose and immediately go grab a plate
>gotten food poisoning
>completely wasted money on some because the food quality was just so bad
>one of three buffets that i enjoy and don't get sick from shut down

>>10559730
>they seat you at a sticky table that obviously wasn't cleaned
>new batches of food don't come out every hour
>they charge you extra for leftovers on the plate or worse, they take your plates without asking if you're done with them
>no free refills on non-alcoholic drinks
>desert table isn't even refrigerated it's just loosely sprawled over a countertop

>>10561561
he dindu nuthin wrong

>Only have one buffet near me
>Legit 0/10 food
>Everything cold
>Zero things to choose from

>>10560909

>>10559897
>that entire story
My god that was amazing

>>10559933
>small

holy fuck I'm dying.

>it's a Chinese buffet but they dont have crab rangoons or stir fry service

>>10559730
>Go to mom's
>Normally try to avoid the stepfamily because only one stepsibling isn't a complete shithead
>Fuck it, I'll be nice
>Offer to take everyone out to dinner
>Figure the youngest will want to go somewhere expensive because she's a vapid teen
>She wants to go to Hometown Buffet of all places
>Oh well, they have surprisingly good orange chicken
>She literally eats until she has to go to the bathroom to puke, then continues eating
>Gets 6 plates, but only eats half of what she dishes up
>Ask her why she's wasting food
>"We bought the food, so it doesn't matter if we waste it"
>She brags about it later
And they wonder why I rarely visit

>They open up a fucking amazing Chinese Buffet near me
>All the food is excellent
>There's something like 300+ tables and they purposefully don't seat you anywhere near other people
>$9 for lunch and a drink
>Apparently the place is clean as a whistle according to my friend who works for the County health inspection
It all worked out better than expected.

>Late summer 2016
>be part of german-chinese youth exchange
>it‘s decided we go out for dinner the day before the chinese exchange students fly home
>we go to a chinese restaurant, a bit notorious for being not exactly "good", situated in a former car repair shop
>our group of about 30 people
arrives and is seated
>notice among the first issues how my cutlery is sticky
>plates don‘t look much better, but you don’t really have a choice at the moment
>buffet consists of the usual chinese buffet shite and other random stuff like chicken nuggets and cheap frozen pizza, everything being lukewarm of course, the fat in the deep fried duck had even begun becoming gelatinous
>order something from the mongolian grill, everything arrives slightly burned and chewy in a nasty way
>I don’t eat that much the whole evening, largely drinking just jasmin tea and a small bottle of Tsingtao beer the whole evening
>I later heard, that the chinese kids were happy about it, but I felt literally ashamed inviting foreign guests to such a run down place

>>10561856
Hello newfriend. Enjoy your stay.

>>10559844
>people still falling for this ancient pasta

>>10562321
it's the same reason people still keep falling for clickbait even if you tell them what it is, people just like to get excited and angry if you give them something to focus on because it's better than feeling nothing

>implying this wasn't heaven as a kid

>>10562060
Crab rangoons are so gross. How can you eat them?

>>10562340
not that guy but i love dairy so that's just probably why i like them, since it's usually the only thing with dairy on an entire chinese menu. maybe your place just makes them in a shitty way though? some of them put a lot of sugar in which is kind of gross, it's more like cheesecake at that point.

>>10562070
>when you watch too many matt stonie videos and think buffets are a great place to try it
Good Luck MSG!

>>10562340
I don't. I'm jewish.

Aside from the people what complaints do you have about them?

>>10562408
they seem to be more likely to just have lower quality food, or to serve old food, than regular restaurants. in my experience your best bets are the buffets that close for a couple hours between lunch and dinner, because it seems like they might be more likely to be preparing and serving fresh food all the time compared to ones that stay open all day.

>>10561864
idont eat a whole lot of meat but i regularly go up to a week without shitting

>>10562523
do you eat a lot of white flour? white flour can be pretty constipating because it's had all the fiber removed. if you eat enough fruit/veg/whole grains, you should be going at least once per day. it's really bad to go that long without pooping, anon :(

>>10562539
i eat very very poorly with no emphasis on white flour. and it's not really constipation; i just never really get the urge to poop until after about a week
>it's really bad to go that long without pooping, anon :(
been like this for +2 years. lol when am i gonna die?

i like this thread so far

>>10562547
it probably won't ever directly kill you but might contribute to you getting hemorrhoids or colon cancer or something down the line. you basically have rotting food and a shitload of bacteria sitting inside you for a week. it's not hard to just add more lentils or fruit or cabbage to your diet, or other foods like them, or even just having some kind of fiber drink with your food if you really won't change your diet.

there was a HomeTown Buffet near my job
it was mostly pretty shitty and overrun with nogs, but the fried chicken was good
closed a couple years ago
feels bad man

>>10562569
Taking a break from reddit I take it? I'm glad you're enjoying your first day here.

>>10562581
reddit and memebase

>>10560909
Daddy? I thought you weren't allowed to use the internet unsupervised anymore.

>>10561589
You're living in the past, old man. Your opinions don't matter anymore.

>>10561747
>Oh I'm the try hard right? After I perfectly described your "peoples" temperament and behavior, sure bud
>Hey why don't you link your mixtape while you're posting
>acting passive agressive while using an anime pic and comparing black people to monkeys

>>10561300
Casio buffet's are the only buffet's worth the hassle of going to a buffet, cause they generally have higher quality food, and no kids anywhere in sight.

>>10561864
My piss and shit smell like poison. I drink coffee and am addicted to laxatives though. Not for weight loss purposes since I'm already skinny.

>>10561903
Do you not research and read reviews before going? Honestly if you're paying less than 15 dollars at a buffet it's probably shit.

>>10559792
Are most buffets just frozen food in the back reheated? For chinese buffets I sorta assume they're cooking it but for places like golden corral I'm just assuming it's just frozen stuff

>>10561067
>>10561253
Maybe it's because I'm not in the Midwest, but those stories seem grossly exaggerated. I haven't seen anything unique to Golden Corral in terms of behavior or clientele. It's just a shitty buffet enjoyed by lower-middle class people and seniors. I wish hilarious shit happened, but it didn't. It was just depressing at worst and completely unremarkable at best.

>>10560704
I have no patients for slow people. You have a fucking social responsibility to grab your shit and move. It took more time for that guy to be a cunt than for me to grab french fries and move along.

>>10560767
It's called that in Phoenix too.

>>10561538
>when dad hits you and then tells you not to cry or he'll give you something to cry about

How to make a man.

>>10561007
So about 30% of them then

>>10559897
Does anyone have the vocaroo someone did narrating the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL story? Honestly the hardest I've ever laughed at this site.

>>10561545
It sounds like they got the appeal of it then dumbnut

>>10563011
I don't think you understand. They would not get more than one plate and at most would return with a moderate amount of two items, if lucky.
Would you pay $12 to eat a plate of overcooked macaroni?
>Mother - fried fish
>Father - macaroni
>Brother - fried chicken and pizza
>That will be $36 plus tip

>>10562836
Reviews are usually useless in my experience unless a restaurant has an overwhelming number of negative reviews, which none of them did. I've seen a ton of negative reviews from people who clearly have no idea what they're talking about, or some that are even directly from competitors trying to draw business away from the restaurant.

>>10562832
>addicted to laxatives though
>Not for weight loss purposes
t-then why

>>10562972
>Fall off my bike going downhill too fast when I was like 9
>Cry
>Dad hits me until I stop
>"Men don't cry"
It works

>>10559898
I would say that, if you're not hodor tall you're fat or almost fat.

>>10564143
What is it with this damn website thinking skinny little skellys are the optimum body type?
I'm almost exclusively attracted to 200+ men who don't look like teenage boys.

>>10564113

>>10564086
The relief of shitting if euphoric. You don't get the same quality of shitting in your own, imagine consecutively pooping. Ah so good.

>>10564154
Skinny little boys make the best girls.

>>10559844
>>Started dating a woman with kids

>>10559730
I have really fond memories of hotel buffets during vacations as a child. To this day I still love buffets, partially because I like the freedom and the sampling and because I like cold meals. My grocery store also has a pretty decent buffet/salad bar.

Of course I've also been to cheap youth hostel buffets or had family tell me stories about fighting off drunk Russians and aggressive Arabs during their vacation buffets. You get what you pay for, like with everything else.

>have nearby indian/nepalese/tibetan buffet
>nearly as good as the best sit-down indian place in my area
>always stuff face with delicious food every time, especially under the influence of DUDE
>no complaints

>>10564517
Degenerate.

>>10564519
I don’t disagree, Mr. Uses-capitalized-single-word-responses-with-periods-at-the-end-to-emphasize-disapproving-toneman

>>10564517
I love buffets but I find Indian ones to be the worst. First, every tray is 90% sauce and 10% food which is gone almost all of the time, and then the meat is so overcooked and spiced anyway that it feels like they only use cheap cuts. None of their meals cost anything either, so you rarely get your money's worth.

The one place I liked, an Indian buffet with a cool owner closed down not too long ago. Or rather the owner sold it and some Ethiopian place opened up where it was. Don’t blame the guy though he was a bro but the place never had much buisness when I was there at least, and it was apparently a bit of a drive from his home. Still they had some god tier food and the owner was a cool guy. Still upset I can’t enjoy that tiny little buffet anymore

>>10561550
t. tyrone

>>10564535
thankfully none of those points apply to this one i go to. tandoori chicken is always tender and moist yet crispy as fuck, curries and vindaloo are always loaded with meat (especially this one shrimp vindaloo they have sometimes holy christ it makes me ejaculate), and even their saag paneer is always loaded with paneer. the meat and stuff can get low during the middle of the dinner rush but i always come earlier. the only complaint i have is they got rid of this unbelievably dank banana pajora and replaced it with this weird cinnamon sugar couscous that isnt bad, but not great either

>>10564549
*banana pakora

>>10562874
every buffet I've ever been to has the exact same frozen texas toast slices you can get at the store and they are unironically one of the best things to choose from every time

>>10559844
>having pictures of children on your harddrive
brb calling fbi

>>10564465
Exactly, I'm a woman; I don't want little girls.

>>10564465
Exactly, I'm a woman; I don't want little girls.

>>10559955
Mostly white trash kids that are the worst

>>10559819
Not all old people are fat.

Besides Chinese, only other buffet I've been to was old country, and I remember it being good. Only pet peeve is the best stuff is always taken first by the vultures

>>10559844
>not laughing and leaving her right there

soi detected

>>10561550
t. nigger

Had a contract out of town for six month. Restaurants were generally not great but ok, a bit pricey though. Then I found a Korean buffet, full of (probably) Korean customers, dirt cheap and I absolutely loved the food. I had only little time so I could taste only some of it. And it was my last day on contract. Fuck.

>>10559933
>>"small"
Oh god, my sides

>>10561217
Found the upper middle class white teen who's never set foot in the 'scary part of town'

>>10561429
You actually expect the person that made that to have the mental capacity to handle the English language?

>>10562077
Same. Got an amazing Chinese buffet in my hometown that has one table for rotating specials of whatever the kitchen wants to make always clean and friendly when I go, and I always leave full and happy. I wish that some day everyone here can have the same experience. Good buffet with friends and loved ones is one of the peak dining experiences

>>10562693
but they ARE monkeys...

>>10564519
fag

>>10559844
Ian, is that you?

>>10561549
what the fuck is this why do the oysters have skin cancer

>>10565374
Vlad, please - go back to your containment ghetto.

>>10560040

>>10559792
>>Goblin children sticking their hands into the chocolate fountain
my golden corral has an 18+ sign on the chocolate fountain and i didnt know why
i remember asking if there was alcohol in it and they laughed at me

ive only been to one buffet at a shitty spanish resort

the food was in no way spanish, it was generic and tasteless, and i hated watching unselfaware boomer bugpeople stuff their faces like fat fucking pigs

>>10562594
based

>>10561007
Not if there mom beats the shit out of thwm

>>10560040
Whats happening here?

>>10560909
Disgusting vile human filth. I bet you look like how the space that seperates your balls and butthole smells.

>>10565634
Someone put water in the chocolate fountain. That makes it harden.

why are there 2 buffet threads

>>10561718
>>10561747
>>10565374
How embaressing

>>10559955
never been to chuck e cheese
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kA5KBkc8J8

>>10561831
>>10565155
>>10564547
Sanchez*
I'm Hispanic, should have been obvious.

>>10565653
There's some fucking crazy thing that happens when you add water to chocolate that makes it not melt no matter how much heat you apply. It's called "seizing"

>>10559730
>Have an event for 300
>salad, chicken, asparagus, bread, dessert
>put out 450 cookies
>run out of cookies 2/3 of the way through service
>look over everything else as I pass through the line on the buffet, its about half full (which is right on track)
>look at dessert tray, yup every fucking cookie gone
>circle back to kitchen and check the trashcans, see half eaten and full cookies in trash
>inspect further, fucking 30 or so cookies in just this can
>curiously look at other cans, see the same thing, has to be atleast 100 WHOLE cookies thrown away
>as I get out of the trash an old bitch tosses her plate
>"anon that chicken was great, thanks for the dinner!"
>guess what was on the plate she threw away
>a mcfucking whole cookie

the client actually brought it up that they ran out of desserts to my boss after the event
told him right to his face where the cookies went
t.catering chef

>>10564635
Post feet.

>>10566179
i don't understand what happened

>>10566298
people went through the line and took extra cookies
the line ran out of cookies
I went to check it out and there were a ton of whole cookies, as in unbitten, as in they didnt even touch them, in the trash

when you go through a catering line or a buffet, take what you can eat then go back up if you're still hungry

>>10565232
shut up nigger

It seems to me there is a less of a "buffet" problem and more of a people of color problem. I live in a place thats 99% white and regularly go to buffets and I have never seen anything out of the ordinary. No one screaming, throwing trays of food, cutting in line and getting in fights. None of that shit.

>>10560909
>mfw all these newfagsummerfags responding to b8

>>10564565
What's the deal with Texas Toast? It's not toast and it's not from Texas!

>>10566428
So your cookies sucked ass and people couldn't stomach them. And now you're here whining. Maybe you should consider changing careers

>>10566495
Its cheap but I laughed

>>10566499
cookies weren't actually mine, but thats not the issue
the issue is people taking as much food as they can at the front of the line and throwing away whole servings
if you want seconds go back up
didnt everyone learn that in gradeschool?

coincidentally cookies are the one thing I cant make well, they always go flat, so I specifically don't usually make them unless I have to.
usually we use a store bought frozen batter and just bake it off.
I think they are pretty good

>>10566499
Not him but why are people such retarded fat asses they take double desserts, not knowing if they cane at them or like them? Then just waste food. It's sad. That's why I don't care if people are eating days old food or low quality food. They don't know how to not be wasteful, they deserve the same scraps they throw away.

Plus if you failed to read, someone complained about running out of dessert.

>>10566617
I've done catering before. At least you've identified the problem. Sounds like you need to put a serving waiter at the dessert table to ensure portion control. Weigh the cost of that employee against the cost of a client who doesn't recommend you to new clients.

>>10565814
Why would anyone go there? The pizza is inedible. Peter pipers is subpar but at least they also have shitty beer so you can eat and drink while your kids run around.

>>10561368

>>10566774
I have started explaining that to the client after I started noticing things like this happening. I'll lay out EXACTLY how many servings I have (which are almost always 1.5 per person) unless its a really high paying gig.
but for high paying gigs we would have waiters walking around and serving people so thats never a problem.

kinda funny when you think about it but it makes sense. lower dollar events run out of food because they are lower class people with no idea how to act at an event with food.
doesnt matter if its just wine, cheese, and crackers or dinner entre's

I'm a poor fucker, but atleast I dont embarrass people with poor manners. its amazing how bad the average persons' table manners are

>also to keep mini-ranting people dont know the difference between shit made from scratch and store bought shit, I dont think the average person actually "tastes" food, I think they just decide if its good or not and make themselves eat it. everyone is basically a child when it comes to food preferences: fried chicken, fries, cheese, and ketchup

>>10560205
Its a binary system, either the parents don't give a shit so they act out, or the parents beat there ass when they act up so they know better than to act up in public, because they know they would beat there ass right there in public.

I'm a pretty simple guy, cook my own food, save money and resources.

>>10567169
like
wow anon

>>10567047
Even still, you're going to lose profit from these lower-cost events if people start telling each other you ran out of X. I understand the clients for those ones aren't going to pay enough for you to cover a team of servers, but you've gotta build the cost of at least one in there if you keep noticing a pattern in specific areas. If you have to, prepare a very simple graph/presentation to these clients to explain this because it does make them lose some value of the catering. It's embarrassing, too. At least offer it as an option so the client will know full well that this will have been their fault should it happen. You can't blame the guests of the client, even if they are savages. Gotta manage the buffet tactfully. All the well-run buffets in the world identify problem areas like yours and strategically place a server there. There's just no way around it. Bad word of mouth spreads like wildfire.

>>10559897
This was a fucking wild ride

>>10560857
>Buffet crab legs

They shit themselves. Not a matter of if but when and how badly.

>>10566617
>they always go flat
Do you refrigerate the dough for a few hours before baking? You need the butter to firm back up again. I usually just scoop out the cookies and put them on a baking sheet, then put that in the freezer while the oven preheats to make it go faster and they turn out great.

A lot of people are just really bad at judging how much they actually need to eat though. I've tried fasting before just as an experiment to see what it was like, and I think that actually helped me be a better judge of when I'm actually hungry and how much to eat. Most people never do that because there is always a constant supply of food and it makes them feel good. Plus a lot of people can be kind of lazy and don't want to make more trips up to the buffet than they have to so they overload their plates. And the excess of food that we have makes them not think twice about wasting it.

>>10565655
so you have multiple choices, just like at a buffet

There's a Mennonite owned buffet near me that serves stuff like meatloaf, mashed potatoes and roasted chicken. Simple food but it's really great there.

>>10560909
It's only funny when they're 2d anon.

>>10561550
Top kek dude you are clearly American. Come to any other white country and feel free to experience the opposite.
That said, in my experience Chinese are certainly amongst the worst, Japanese amongst the best behaving.

>>10560040
iirc you can actually fix that by adding even more water

>>10560816
Kinda had the same experience, but there was only one other customer with everything was more shittier

>>10562127
food in china is hardly any better

>>10559792
>Go to Golden Corral when I was a teen with my dad looking for a new place tho try
>Remember it being surprisingly well staffed, food was decent and had wider variety, no children running around everywhere
>Try it out some ten years later
>Absolute hellhole, food nearly ruptured my insides, tons of kids and loud mouth breathing assholes
What happened?

>>10561561
is your dad single

>>10561549
Tried thede for the first time at a buffet, taste like Deenz

>>10567805
look at (you) go

>>10562610
Lmao he has a wifes son

>>10561009
You felt sick because you over ate you fat piece of shit. There is no food sickness you could get that would leave you within a few hours.

>>10559955
Can confirm pajeets kids that live next door make me wont to go on a rampage fucking parasite riddled brats

>>10561338
Because for every person paying $20 for crablegs there is a dumbfuck paying the same $20 for rice potatoes and bread.

>>10560704
You sound fucking slow and indecisive. I bet you're the type to do 5 below and get angry when people pass you. Some of us want to get on with our lives you fuckin' tortoise.

A Golden Coral was just built and opened in my city and it has been super busy. The lot they built it facility on is fucking huge and when I drive past it on my way to the gym I can see so many cars. I don't think I will ever go there though because of all the horror stories I've read on here.

>>10561368
You're a fucking madman.

>>10559730
Every time my friends suggest going to a buffet I’m initially stoked because fuck yeah weve been working all day let’s gorge.
But as soon as I walk in and see all the fat disgusting fucks piling their plates high and going back for more and more I’m suddenly not that hungry anymore and barely finish my first paltry plate

>>10561694
>yeast rolls
Every time I hear that I picture a landwhale with a infected vagina

>go to mongolian bbq
>can't not tip because consciousness - yes I'm a minority if you were curious -
>pay $1 for each time I guess
>end up paying more on tip than the cover
Other than that, not much

>>10561689
Haha I used to work with this guy that got kicked out of the Navy because of Porn. Anyways, his wife was having an affair with his best friend and they were at the point to the dude would just come over when my coworker was working and fuck. I would give the guy rides home and his friend would still be at the house when he got home. Once he even made them sandwiches when he arrived. Made his cheating wife and friend sandwiches after they got done fucking. It's a mad world I tell ya

>>10559844
JUST

>>10559730
>Working the breakfast buffet refill at hotel
>Usually easy work, guests are more sleepy than me
>Busload of chinks.jpg
>Yoghurt with vegetables
>Take nine plates instead of one
>Leave half the food on the plate

I thought my manager was just being racist. Mainlanders have no fucking manners.

>>10565565
Hey, fuck I remember being at some vacation spot probably twenty years ago and they also had a "only adults" type sign. Never understood until this thread put the two together.

>>10564635
London

>>10559920
chinese people are savages

>>10571677
this shit is absolutely vile to watch. they probaly are legitimitely starving to some extent.

>>10571734
Not even close. Rich Chinese invade expensive buffets and waste most of it as a way to try to prove they're ostentatiously wealthy.

>>10571677
>>10571734
>>10571744

So is this how I fit in with other Chinese born in China? Stateside Chinese don't do this...

>>10559844
>woman with kids
TOP KEK

>>10559955
Mexican here, I would literally beat my own sister or brother if they misbehave at a buffet. Fuck them.

>>10559730
What does it take for someone to make a buffet that’s high end and open only for either breakfast and lunch or lunch and dinner.

>>10571829
the problem with that concept is that it'd be next to impossible to profit from a high end buffet because they'd either spend too much money on resources and not profit, or the buffet would be too expensive for people to bother going to. There's a reason why most buffets are filled with cheap shit.

>>10559730
>fat kid walks up to the entrees
>sneezes below the sneeze guard, all over the food
>takes all the buffalo wings
>think to myself that i could at least go and savor the desserts
>fat kid waddles to the desserts
>he takes all the white chocolate macadamia nut cookies and waddles off
>walk to the desserts, at least the chocolate fountain is safe
>suddenly smell the foulest thing in existence
>the damn kid farted and waddled off
>decide to just go home, appetite lost
ALL AT THE LOW COST OF $14

>>10561200
>>10561758
>>10561779
>>10561848
>>10565646
You're all a bunch of disengenuine cucks. I'm not a pedo but I will take a look at little girls whenever they show up in public. Nothing wrong with seeing beauty in a young woman.

>>10569812
there seems to be a really fucky schism where the particular location is either really dreadful or comfy and pleasant. ive been to the one in my town maybe 4 times and it was all gravy baby, but this one out of town that my family drags me out to on occasion is just awful, similar to the horror stories with kids sticking weird shit in the choc fountain, people takin bites of stuff and putting it back. just gotta check it out when it's less busy someday, friend. you could have a decent one

>>10560816
every time I stop at that chinese place in emporia Kansas.

>>10571849
Look ≠ state desire to fuck

If you can't distinguish between the two, you need to die.

>>10559792
We just had a golden corral open here a few months ago. Food was decent, but the amount of loud aping niggers, little goblin kids, and general trashy people appalled me.

Mom and pops wanted to go with me to check it out, I always decline or offer to go somewhere else because I don't want them exposed to that kind of filthy environment. Depressing honestly

>>10560909
based

>>10571829
>>10571843
High-end buffets like that do exist at better hotels and private clubs.

>>10572001
well yeah but at that point you're not really paying for the buffet so much as the hotel or club. There's no high end buffet that just works as a buffet.

Buffets is usually a hotel thing in Europe. Sometimes restaurants have a really small one for salad/pizza or whatever their niche is. Americans seem to think it's a normal way of consuming food away from home, whereas it's legit just cattle feeding.

>>10565814
>want to throw the little fucker across the room
>some asshole is filming his every room

>>10560471
it's trash. Are you a cuck or something? You can make the exact same food with a knife and a trip to the grocery store, no heat necessary.

tl;dr
it's freegan cuck food, and you are suppressing traumatic memories of parental abuse and neglect.

>>10561418
>>these fuckers raising my healthcare costs when I exercise daily and dont eat any junk except if desperate on a road trip
communist/leftist/gay faggot

>>10565374
/thread

I agree, jello should not be served at buffets and niggers are sub-human.

>>10571766
>Stateside Chinese don't do this...
... incorrect

>>10560040
As amusing as this is it really only hurts the workers who have to clean that shit up, and they're miserable enough as it is because they're desperate enough to work at a fucking golden corral.

>>10572260
>implying you could tell the difference

>>10559897
Did this literally come from reddit?
>I hope someone liked reading this as much as I liked writing it

>>10561217
It's all kids dude. It's seriously everyone.

>>10561550
You aren't going to simply get away with saying fuck white people. Many white parents are shit, but so are all the rest of the parents the world over. Realize it already.

http://www.pjwnex.us/media/text/Golden_Corral.txt
Required reading

>>10561831
Fucking incredibly disgusting.

>>10572276
wagecucks have no souls. they'll cope

>>10570434
cuck

>>10560909
Anon. No. That's 3D.

>>10560909
based

>>10560471
Its called Sweet Tomatoes where I'm from, and its dank man.

All low end buffets are shit, and most high end buffets are also shit unless they're specifically in Vegas.

Go to a real restaurant faggot

>>10559844
I know it's bait and probably stale pasta, but still.
>Not saying "Excuse me? You invited me out. I'm not your ATM." and walking out.
If you're gonna pay for pussy, buy a good whore. It seems pricey, but in reality you're just paying for it all upfront, compared to a "relationship" where it's bit-by-bit.

>>10562077
Congrats on finding a Chinese restaurant used to launder money made from 'research chemicals'.

>>10559897
That is the single greatest thing I've ever seen on /ck/

Chocolate chicken leg had me literally in tears

>>10560909
Dude, your isp tracks everything you do. I'm guessing you have a lot of equipment to cover your tracks, huh dumbass? Damnit anon, don't even joke around like that!

>>10561418
Before i wanted the media to stop scorching these people, but recently ethno nationalism has gone retarded and i don't find /pol/ larping cute anymore. Based!

>>10561550
Hopefully the chan has some nice words for this post and a discussion will sta-...
> Nvrmnd.

>>10560909
>all these people butty blasted by a post

>>10559955
>being this much in denial
Niglets are the most uncivilized kids there are. Can't really blame them when you see their parents,but it's the honest truth.

>>10559819
>FACT: only fat people enjoy buffets
That's kind of why I don't like them.

I don't want to over eat. But then I'm not getting good value for money.

Seems like I should just go get a sandwich, maybe at half the price.

>>10567169
Bravo faggot.