/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>go to a restaurant
>order two entrees, appetizers and dessert
>waiter jokingly says "Save some food for the other diners"

>That's my personal favorite

>>10540435
>go to a restaurant
>ask for a recommendation
>waiter tells you the personally like the most expensive item on the menu

>Going to a restaurant
Why don't you learn to cook /ck/?

>>10540435
>go to restaurant
>waiting for date
>get stood up
>order
>waiter smugly says "excellent choice sir"
>mfw I am a transgirl
>mfw the boy I was meeting probably saw me and left

>>10540597
>make a dish at home
>nobody around to say "excellent choice, sir"

>>10540606
Fem haahah

>>10540624

>>10540606
ya gotta be upfront about your mental illness. find someone who has a fetish for trannies.

>>10540646
I was ;~;

>order eggs benny
>an eggscellent choice, if I may be so bold, sir.

>>10540646
He's probably one of those dudes that will still look male, even after multiple surgeries. It's almost like it's nature's way of telling him that he will never be a woman.

>>10540606
>Take 50 photos and use photoshop to appear passable
>Trick a guy online to give you a chance
>Guy see's you and 360's away
Gee I wonder why

>>10540606
post a pic qt don't worry we'll be honest

>>10540666
>>10540678
pls do not bully, I am truthful
I havent had any surgeries yet tho
I look worse IRL I guess

>>10540515
>restaurant doesn’t have a no singles policy

>>10540692
>pls do not bully
Oh I'm sorry where we supposed to start bullying? I was just telling you the truth that you are a man and will never pass as a woman, we can skip the mocking replies and go right to bullying if you'd like though, is that what you'd prefer 'hon'?

>>10540696
There's a Korean restaurant here called Hangawi with a really great tasting menu I want to try. But they actually have a no singles policy listed on their tasting menu. I'm considering just asking if I can pay double.

>get matched for date with qt crossdresser
>tell waiter all about my intent to eat a fine buffet of boypussy, extra seasoning
>waiter doesn't tell me "excellent choice, sir"
Walked out on the spot. Speak with your wallet, sometimes it's the only way.

>>10540692
post

a

pic

>>10540678
Man, I can just imagine the guy seeing some buffalo bill looking motherfucker and sprinting out

>>10540606
y'all I want to beat up both the waiter and the slimy bint who stood you up lol

>>10540754
Why are you replying to yourself?

>>10540718
actually on second thought, has anyone ever hired an escort to go to a restaurant with them? is that legal in new york?

>>10540778
Of course. What do you think escorts are for?

>>10540778
>has anyone ever hired an escort to go to a restaurant with them
Just ask one of the gooks there to be your escort. Asian women are massive sluts, and will do anything for the BWC.

>>10540792
i'm indian-american :(
no one wants us

>>10540789
I thought escort was just a name for an expensive prostitute.

>Soup or salad to start?
>"I'll have the soup"
>waiter looks left and right all shifty eyed
>leans in close to me
>"honestly the soup isnt very good at all. Id take the salad."

>>10540754
>>>/tumblr/

>>10540800
Well yea those are the illegal ones. Legal escorts exist to circumvent no singles policy in restaurants and cinemas. I recommend getting a slightly pricey one for the quality of company.
If you're not sure which one is which the escorts that have websites are legal.

>>10540800
>i'm indian-american
Ouch, they probably won't even let you in then. I hope you have better luck on your next life!

>>10540800
>I thought escort was just a name for an expensive prostitute.

They are, but usually you hire them to be your arm candy at a party or some kind of public outing where you want to impress people with the hot slut hanging off your arm. Then when the party is over you take her to a hotel and fuck her.

Or you can skip all that and pay her less for a quick fuck. Every escort is different. A good "Escort" is alot different than some random prostitute.

>go to restaurant
>waiter asks if I'd like the super salad
>'yes please'
>he brings me water instead

>>10540840
Speaking of which
Why is it never asked the other way around?
You never hear "salad or soup"

>>10540519
honestly, ive had about a 85% success rate when they say this, but I always ask them how they like it made because you can tell when they are sincere or say "OH YEAH JUST GET IT WITH THIS GARBAGE TOPPING ON IT"

Latest one was for a roasted chicken sandwhich, she said it was her favorite so I asked her how she liked it, and her answer was exactly how I was gonna order it and it was amazing but would have shit with its peppers and mayo.

>>10540809
thats when you up the tip

>>10540809
I always order Onion Soup if its available and wont make an order until I eat it.

If its bad, I know everything else is bad.

If its good, I know they have good shit.

My mom still has the best onion soup and it aint even nolstagia, just she doesnt have as good bread/cheese as fancy places, but that broth and onion size/ratio is 10/10.

>>10540606
that's pretty rough

>go to restaurant bar to watch baseball game
>get absolutely blasted over the course of a few hours
>later in the evening start hitting on a girl while 10/10 drunk
>she was with a friend in a booth and I just slide in nonchalant like a drunk idiot
>slurring my words and acting belligerent
>an acquaintance of mine sees me blowing it and convinces me to leave and I stumble home
>go back to restaurant next day for lunch
>the girl I was hitting on turns out to be a server there and I'm overwhelmed with embarrassment
I havn't been back since

>>10540863
mental illness is not easy... especially on those of us without it.

>>10540890
hahahahahahaha

>>10540435
>order tendies and fries
>expecting an "excellent choice sir"
What does he mean by this

>>10540606
kek

>>10540818
not him, does gooks like mixed native americans?

>>10542085
Hard to say. native Americans are technically the same race as Asians, but at the same time, I doubt that the average Asian knows much or cares about native culture. Most of them are also obsessed with white skin, so I'm going to say that a native would probably have a hard time getting accepted into East Asian society (you may have better luck in SE Asia though).

>waiter keeps asking if your meal is okay
it was okay 5 mins ago and it's okay now
why do they do this?

>>10542239
They're hitting on you.

>>10542239
that means your food is poisoned, either naturally or artificially

>>10540606
rekt

>>10540435

Probably because you frogpost.

>>10540696
>>10540718
There's never been evidence posted literally anywhere of a restaurant doing this.

>>10540705
God you are such a cunt

>>10542625
>say name of restaurant
>no evidence

http://www.hangawirestaurant.com/menu_prix_fixe.pdf
>69.00 per person / minimum order of 2 persons

>>10542625
If you, your wife and her bull went to a restaurant you'd technically be the single but you'd still get served. Admittedly you'd probably be forced to eat off the floor while they laughed at you.

>>10543228
See it's funny, I went to their website and couldn't find anything about minimum party size. It looks like this was simply a limited menu for an New Years event. Is this the best you got?
http://www.hangawirestaurant.com/menu.htm
>>10543246
>Proven so wrong he has to try going the "you're a cuck" route
lol, fag

>>10543288
what part of "spring prix fixe" indicates a limited new years event?

>>10543288
I was actually agreeing with you.
Try and keep up.

>>10543300
I don't know, I don't speak Italian.

>>10540718
You mean this? >>10543228 That wasn't their tasting menu, that was a New Year's special. I assume they didn't allow singles because they were slam packed the entire time. http://hangawirestaurant.com/menu_holidays.pdf

Considering I ate there by myself yesterday, I can confidently say it has no policy about singles.

damn this thread has been surprisingly decent.

>>10543300
http://hangawirestaurant.com/menu_holidays.pdf
Actually look up what the "spring prix fixe" is next time.

>>10540729
holy shit thats an underrated post

>>10543323
Responding to your own posts is pretty tasteless.

>>10543315
>>10543311
>>10543305
I have no idea what's going on now or if I'm being trolled

I'll go next week though and see for myself.

>>10543311
was it good?

>>10543329
http://www.hangawirestaurant.com/menu_lunch.pdf
http://www.hangawirestaurant.com/menu_dinner.pdf
Their lunch and dinner menus mention nothing about a singles policy. Neither does their website. I even called them a moment ago and they confirmed that was a New Year's Eve thing.

>>10540705
>Animeposter
Absolute cancer.

>>10543326
Not him taintslurper

>>10543337
>An edit this shitty
K

>go to restaurant for a break from walk
>have to order something
>get a water
>'excellent choice, monsieur'

>>10543197
The fuck r u gonna do about it you fucking homo?

Nobody will care when you eventually kill yourself bro, sorry to break it to ya xD

>>10543246

>>10540692
kys you abomination

>>10542214
DESU like 10-20% Native and the rest white, just enough to get the god-tier cheekbones and jawline without the dark skin, is a pretty sexy combination.

>>10540435
>go to restaurant
>drop my utensils under the table
>waiter goes to pick it up
>he starts sucking my dick

>waiter makes sure to walk up to your table and ask how the food is when your mouth if full of food

>>10544412
>see a group of waiters congregating around the bar
>they spot a table of customers who are in the middle of eating
>they snicker to each other "hehe... got one"
>they send out their top ranked waiter to them
>he dons the biggest, brightest and the most sincere smile possible
>the customers at the table notices him approaching, they begin to cower in fear
>they start to pretend to hold a conversation in hopes of avoiding the waiter's wrath
>"Hello my dear patrons..." the alpha-male waiter loudly yet gently interjected, still smiling
>the customers at the table jumped up with a start, immediately silenced themselves
>"How'd you..."
>their heads are stiffly affixed downwards, cold sweat starts forming on their foreheads,
>"Find your..."
>the cold sweat starts to drip down onto their plates, one is trembling in pure, undistilled fear
>the entire restaurant has their eyes glued to the whole ordeal, waiting with baited breath
>the smile that the waiter was wearing turned into a monstrous grin as he uttered the finishing blow
>"Food?"
>the entire restaurant gasped in unison; they cannot believe the brutality of what they have just witnessed
>the trembling customer at the table collapses into a coma, but he was so scared stiff that his body is still in the cowering position
>the other one, who barely survived, slowly cranked his head from the plate of sweat towards the waiter
>"I-it was v-very g-good..." he managed to mumble with his food-filled maw
>the waiter's smile turned gentle, and he beamed "I'm glad to hear it sir!"
>as the waiter raised his head from the table, the other customers in the restaurant immediately lower their heads and avoid eye contact
>the waiter strides back triumphantly towards his circle of friends, who are jeering at the customers at the table and looking for their next set of victims

>>10540705
Will you marry me?
We can bully trannies together and I'm not a neet I swear

>>10540606
based waiter

>go to restaurant
>what is the soupe du jour?
>it's the soup of the day, Sir
>run out of restaurant
>get home
>cry myself to sleep

>go into a bar & grill
>ask the waitress "what's the special today?"
>she's confused "what do you mean sir?"
>"specials, you know, specials on the drinks. isn't this a bar?"
>"oh no this isn't a bar sir sorry
You literally have "Bar & Grill" on the banner you fucking senile old hag.

Last time I went out to eat at a restaraunt the kitchen jesters came out to entertain everyone walking around doing tricks and making everyone laugh. They started making fun of me and then took my wallet and played keep away. I couldnt get it back from them so I ran out the door in tears. Im never going there again.

>go to restaurant
>cute 16 year-old waitress hands me menu, goes to get a Coke
>comes back, see anything you like?
>what I like is not on the menu
>oh a funny guy! I like funny guys.
>she sits next to me in booth
>takes my hand and slides it up her dress
>white cotton panties and damp in the middle
>go for it, Anon, she says
>I slide my hand into he panties and start to finger fucker her
>she moans a little and then slides under table
>undoes my pants and blows me like I'm her only hope
>shoot wad
>she comes back up
>how about some food now?
>I order a Patty Melt and fries
>eat my lunch
>100% tip
>she's my sister afterall

>>10544791
I've had the reverse happen to me

>>10540840
lol

>>10544523
ebin

>>10540606
Please kindly kill yourself immediately.

>>10544523

>>10540435
First of all OP, the counter peon at Burger King® isn't called a "waiter".

>>10540606
Don't let people get you down. It's about your happiness not anyone else's.
Stay good bb

>>10544857
... Kitchen jesters?

>>10540862
Like, French Onion Soup, right? I've literally never heard it referred to as 'Onion Soup' before.

>>10540435
>work at restaurant
>go to clear plates at customers' table
>plates are empty
>brace myself as I approach
>time slows to a near stand-still, 52-year-old white man at table begins parting his lips while his wife looks on, my brain prepares for impact
>'CAN YOU TELL WE DIDN'T LIKE IT'
>recall lessons from years of method acting study at university with top acting coaches
>'haha, of course'
>drop dessert card, die a little inside

>>10543335
>complaining about anime on an anime website

>>10543385
>break
>from a fucking walk

>>10544412
I usually just look in their direction or ignore them.

>>10540618
Mamma mia

>go to restaurant in Kyoto station in Japan
>start to order out of the Japanese menu
>waitress literally pulls it out of my hands and hands me the pleb English menu
>Japanese name is beneath all the dishes so just call it that anyway
>Spills my glass of water all over my lap when bringing me my food all, frantically saying sumimasen over and over as she tries to pat my crotch clean

>>10540519
why do they say this? do the waiters sample all the dishes during the interview? they're only there to make bank, don't bullshit me.

>>10548442
>do the waiters sample all the dishes during the interview?
I doubt it.

But surely the waiters will have had the opportunity to try the food themselves--either they ordered it, tried it on the rec of one of the other employees, or if the place is half decent the Chef will make sure to provide all the waiters with a tasting of the different dishes so they know about them and can make suggestions, answer customer's questions about them, etc.

>>10548460
>or if the place is half decent the Chef will make sure to provide all the waiters with a tasting of the different dishes so they know about them and can make suggestions, answer customer's questions about them, etc
this is true
but also sometiems is bullshit

>>10540692
dont listen those virgins, post a pic and stop caring what they think

>>10540606
was the food good?

>>10540718
Go ask /tv/ how to successfully get around the policy

>go to a restaurant
>waiter is a woman

It just instantly makes the place look low class.

>>10549613
>it's a waitress is flirting with you for tips and you feel more lonely than ever while eating alone episode

>>10546612
my fucking sides

>>10540606
deserved

>>10542239
they are trying to look busy in front of their supervisor

>>10545229
>walk out of a bar & grill
>the waitress asks me "what's the special today?"
>I'm confused "what don't you mean madam?"
>"specials, you know, specials on the food. isn't this a grill?"
>"oh yes this is a grill madam sorry
You literally don't have "Bar & Grill" on the banner you fucking sharp young qt.

>>10540606
look dude. fine, you're a girl, i can deal with that. i don't really care. but if you don't pass i am not gonna want to see you naked, ok?
until you get surgeries, aim for gay people.

>>10540606
AJHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

>>10540606
Based waiter

>>10540692
pic or it didnt happen fag

>>10548542
This usually only applies to new menu items for the current staff. It just isn't practical/cost effective to make one of everything for an employee that might walk out two hours into their first shift.

The bar I work at has 41 beer taps, so we provide a small taster to waitstaff whenever we get a new one on one of our rotationals.

>>10552060
kek'd

>>10552587
>41 beer taps
What bar? I'm on my way.

>>10540562
>ask for reccomendation
>they reccomend 7 different things on the menu
Wow thanks now I know exactly what I want

>>10546671
does get tiresome in the heat after 2 hours

>>10546594
what the hell other kinds of onion soup are there?

>>10553455
>be a waiter
>guest asks for a recommendation
>give him one
>”oh, I don’t like dishes that have mushrooms, do you have any other recommendations?”
Fuck you. I just cover the bases now.

>3 am
>McDonald's drive thru
>can I get 10 mcnuggets please?
>I'm sorry sir right now we can only do 4, 6 or 20
>that... That doesnt make any sense. If you can do 20 why can't you do 10?
>uh hold on
>comes back in less then 5 sec
>ok yeah we can do 10
I was having a really hard time keeping a straight face while I paid.

>>10540606
when you forget this is still 4chan for a sec xD

>"Excellent choice miss"
This happens way too often

>>10549613
Honestly worked in a high end place and they didn't allowed women as waiters. Still a bunch of fucktards, but without drama and less groping.

>>10552587
41 taps. Imagine sampling 41 different beers in succession before service.

>hi welcome to 41 beers what can I g-BLARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLAAAAGGGGHHHHH-

>be waiter
>have a really deep voice despite being a tall, skinny, white guy
>people compliment me all the time
>some people make fun of me
>some people have literally intentionally lowered their voice and talked like that every time they spoke to me

>>10544770
Underrated

>>10540890
you shoud just go back when you're sober and looking good, apologize to her.
Just play it off like it was a one off thing, say something like you're aunt is very sick and went to the hospital or something.
then just ask her when shes off and buy her a drink somewhere where she doesnt work.
its easy anon, just stick to the gameplan and never be embarrassed for anything

>>10540435
>go to a restaurant
>grab waitress by the ass
>waitress doesn't tell me "excellent choice, sir"

>>10555789
underage pls go

>go to restaurant
>waiter says hi to me
>do a 180 turn and walk away

>>10546588
>he doesn't bring his hawk to go to the kitchen showers and then laugh at the kitchen jesters

>>10549650
i hope this isn't you...

>go to restaurant specializing in British food
>what do you recommend?
>waitress says "Toad in the Hole"
>I'll try that
>come back to table
>lifts skirt, there's a toad in her vagina
>it's funny cuz it's true

>order water
>excellent choice

>>10540606
woah epic bros include me in the screencap

>go to Brit style pub/restaurant
>order biscuits and gravy
>excellent choice sir
>brings me this

>>10552587
yeah that's what i mean
in a decent spot they will make a couple dishes of the new stuff and let all the waiters get a forkfull or two. A place I used to work would do a group tasting of one thing off the menu once a week or so just to make sure everyone had tried everything

>>10554554
women are only allowed to work breakfast and lunch in nice joints

>>10544523

gb2
REDDIT
E
D
D
I
T

>get lunch from food truck on campus
>only has 2 choices: a meat dish and a veggie dish
>orders meat dish with a fanta orange
>excellent choice

>drinking with friends
>some people want to eat
>decide we might as well eat at the pub (pubs don't really have much care about the food, just standard stuff)
>friend asks young waitress (19 maybe) whether she prefers the skate or the sea bass
>waitress misheard and says she'd go with the steak (instead of skate) because she doesn't like fish that much
>even after hearing this she still reiterates ("oh I said skate not steak")
>uhhhhhhhh "i guess the seabass"

made me cringe internally, big stupid poorly conceived smile externally

>go to restaurant for lunch hungry as fuck
>order a huge seafood plate
>qt server notices I've finished eating
Fuck, I don't even want to admit this anonymously but here goes
>tells me, "Good job, man! You finished the whole thing!"
>I was 19 years old at the time
>mfw

>>10560596
Lol being this devistated over nothing. See you at 30 if you don't neck yourself.
Good job anon, admitting you have a problem is the first step.

>>10540678
>Guy sees you and 360's away
0/10 can't do math

>>10544995
t. Alabama nigger

>>10560720
hey bait boy! stick to flicking that little bean of yours. The master baiters will handle things from here on out.

>>10560897
>Master baiters
Touche

>>10540606
>"Excellent choice sir"
You have to go back to the way things used to be my man

>>10560660
I'm 35 now

>>10544024
Post pics
Holding something food related so it's not deleted

>>10560720
hownew.ru

>>10561331
Nice.
I was hoping he'd get electrocuted, though.
>pissing on Chinese electronics

>>10540562
i always just recommend the days special, please stop asking me what i think is best and just decide for yourself

>>10563480
Am I missing the point? How can you not understand an escalator?

>>10564377
in china a lot of escalators break at the point theyre testing and basically "eat" people

>>10564384
Oh that makes a lot of sense, thanks. Funny how surreal things look without the context of reckless Chinese construction.

>>10560720
bait or full retard????

>>10564343
You work there. What would you eat? If you wouldn't eat there or recommend something simple or gross to me, I know the place pretty much sucks or you, my server is a subhuman.