/ck/ - Food & Cooking

there's a t in mozzarella?

>people who pronounce cappuccino as "cappusino"

>>10442046
>expresso

>>10442067
blame rareware for that one

>>10442037
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGLDvZryiFo

>>10442067
>tfw my gf says expresso and excetera and deduction when she means reduction

>>10442067
>he says expresso instead of exprexo

>>10442107
cool ringtone

>>10442115
Hit "X" for excape

>>10442032
I cook for a place that serves pizza but pizza isn't the main draw; think standard diner fare but also pizza. We abbreviate a lot of shit, which is pretty standard if you work the line anywhere.
>pizza=pie
>mozzarella=mots
>parmesan=parm
Breaking from pizza phrases
>BLT=bullet
>lettuce tomato onion=LTO
>jalapenos=japs
>hollandaise=holly
Every second on the line counts, so cooks have our own shorthand. Not even getting into "all day", "working", "walking in" etc

>>10442115
that's when you unveil your signature move, the reverse-lorena-bobbit

>>10442067
>mfw I had to hear dumb roasties say "expresso" ten million times a day because I worked at Starbucks
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA LEARN TO SPEAK REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>10442214
>>BLT=bullet
bullet literally takes longer to say than blt. americans are retarded

>>10442032
Recipe calls for pepperoncini
>every faggot in the whole fucking joint calls them peppercheenies

>>10442238
>bullet literally takes longer to say than blt
>"buh-lit"
>"bee-el-tee"
what

>>10442238
>bullet
>bull-et
>two syllables
>BLT
>bee-ell-tee
>three syllables
>two syllables is longer than three

>non-frenchies trying to pronounce "poutine"
POOH-TAYNE
PUH-THIN
POOTIN

it's fucking "poutine" its not even like french and english have that wildly different pronunciation, fuckers can say cul-de-sac and confit properly but not poutine? what the fuck

it's almost as bad as seeing english people try to SPELL french canadian swear words

>>10442255
>>10442248
blt is one syllable. it's like "belt" but without an e. that's how we did it when i worked at a breakfast place. sometimes it actually was just "belt" because we had the option of adding egg

>>10442214
>>lettuce tomato onion=LTO

>saying ELLL TEEE OHHHH instead of just "all dress"

>>10442267
>>10442281
Okay those do work better but I have never heard it any other way in the kitchen.

>>10442291
That said I'm going to start saying belt and all dress

>>10442291
well desu when i worked at restaurants in the back of house, we had tickets, that could be read and then referred to by number, because outside of america basic literacy can be expected of everyone

I call pizza za, I call aparmiggiano a-reggiannio parm, and i don't call mozarella mozza, I call it muzz.

>>10442319
Okay champ, everyone everywhere has tickets and table and section numbers, I don't understand what that has to do with the guy working the wheel calling shit out, which everyone does everywhere except in fast food. If you're working saute or fry or broil or anything but the wheel, you don't have the tickets, the guy on expo does and he calls out the orders and you have to remember every order on every ticket.
Worked at Wendy's in high school and that was the only kitchen that had screens in each station to tell you what to fire and when

>>10442227
glue a dick to her?

>>10442372
>"everyone everywhere has tickets and table and section numbers,"
>americans don't use tickets and table/section numbers
shithole country

>>10442380
Americans use tickets and numbers, that's what I just said and it's standard practice. Who's having trouble with basic literacy here?
Do you not use shorthand in your land's kitchens? Do you not hear "fire table 6", "1 chicken two steak walking in/all day" etc? Or do you mean to say that every station has a ticket machine or a screen and that's what you're used to?

>>10442238
>three syllables is shorter than two syllables

>>10442400
>Or do you mean to say that every station has a ticket machine
that, or someone with a pen. yes, kitchens are normally arranged in a LITERAL line and around wherever tickets are hung, so the people cooking can refer back to them and quickly say what number/table is up instead of shouting nonsense at eachother all day

>fire table 6
is table 6 some kind of artillery piece? or is your food so bad that you have to hire people to come in for meals

the way you describe american kitchens makes it sound like everyone at a grill is trying to emulate what they see in movies and tv rather than do their job in any kind of sensible way, which isnt that shocking a prospect desu

>>10442405
Lol hee looks like a testacle kek

>>10442319
>>10442380
>can't be expected to talk to each other
>autism enabled by wasting money on everyone's own personal printer and paper rolls
No wonder you're being outbred in your own country

>>10442433
>No wonder you're being outbred in your own country
projection?

>>10442416
All I can see in my head, from wherever you are, is a hot mess of people jumping off the line every five seconds and running into each other instead of staying put while the chef tells them what to do. I'll admit to having never left America but I have watched foreign cooking shows and they do the same shit in Italy, France, Germany that we do here. I genuinely don't know what you're on about. I'm starting to wonder if you have ever actually worked in a real kitchen?

>>10442416
>so people can refer back to them
Yeah, find the time for every person on the line to constantly walk back and forth or write down their own little note for each ticket.

>seeing "fire" and taking it literally
Okay pal, I know you have trouble, so let me explain something to you. Most of the time in kitchens (or any place that grills food), there'll be items cooking with heat, a lot of the time that heat will be coming from fire. I'm not exactly sure where the colloquial actually comes from, but I'm assuming there's a relation between "fire off a round" like a gun (your association was probably close, but not quite there, little guy) and the idea of actually cooking something with fire. It's hard sometimes to understand how fluid english is, but we'll be holding your hand the entire way as we tote the stars and stripes along your path (just so you remember you always need our help ;)).

>>10442214
>Japs
At least it's not nips

>>10442257
>the french

>>10442440
Ya know, it's a blight in almost every one of our countries, Achmed. Now let's get back to talking about how kebabs are the national European dish

>>10442489
>Europe is a nation
Retard.

>>10442499
>50 square miles (mi) [my-ales]
>a country

>>10442214
"Balls" for balsamic is my favorite.

>>10442513
of course balls would be your favorite

>>10442499
i was gonna try to fuck around with NOT A COUNTRY BUT A NATION, LIKE QUEBEC but yeah europe is too diverse even for that

>>10442489
>our
>national European
yanqui mutt detected

>>10442032
He who can' t create destroys.

>>10442238

>caramel
>call "carhmel"
fuck these sub-humans

>>10442674
quebec pizza, pop tart and ketchup

>>10442032
>mozza
>not MOZT

>>10442107
Are you supposed to say it 3 times?

>>10442107
>in english
Why dont just call it how Italians do?

>tsa
>motssa

>finely shred some fresh Beecher's Flagship
>call it "shredda chedda"

>>10442257
Tabernacle your whole family dans le derrier avec un rake eggs dee

>>10442267
>sometimes it actually was just "belt" because we had the option of adding egg
kek

good thread

>>10442032
I work at a deli and the bane of my existence is italian americans who refuse to pronounce the vowels at the end of italian meat names
EX. Capicol, mortadel, prosciutt, pepperon

>>10445733
Is it okay if I do it ironically while scratching my balls around friends?

The only food name I a say different is schnitzel, I call it a snitty.

>>10442214
Mother fucker you are a line monkey at what is probably a dump diner. You will never make as much as your front of house counterparts and are only 1 step above a dish bitch.

>>10442032
>muzzarell
>galamah
>prozhoot

>>10442513
pass me the fig balls

>>10442032
>mozza
>(((motza)))
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Olg1efSlvLg

>>10445901
every time someone says "the box that it came in"

since 2004

>>10442956
Mudzadel?

>>10442032

I say izza
I say mesan
I say rella

>>10447190
how does it feel to be retarded?

>>10442513
>can i have my salad with blue cheese and balsamic?
>oohh me too!
>sure
>*to the back*
>I NEED TWO BLUE BALLS
love it when this happens

>>10442032
I just dont give a shit anymore

>>10442238
Damn, man. Are you ever stupid.

>>10447264
pretty good, you should try it sometime

>>10442032
>never ordering 'go 'za with 'cha,'sco and 'vark

>calling mozz mozza

>>10442214
>LTO
>not Letto
C'mon