/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I bet you tipped the hell out of her too. It always works on the fat neckbeards.

>>10199007
So good.
The girl smiled at me at McDonald's yesterday. My heart literally melted. Just need the courage to write my phone number on the $20 next time I hand it to her.

>>10199011
nice projection neckbeard

That's weird, no tip for her.

>>10199022
Not him, but it actually does. Waitresses who flirt and are at least 4/10 get tipped bigly

>waitress titty brushes the back of your head when she leans over to refill your drink

>waitress teasingly slid her labia over my cock while asking whether I wanted another coffee

>>10199007
>waitress's hand touches mine when she hands me a knife and fork

Looks like I'm outta here, virgins!

>>10199014
>actually spent more than $20 at McFat

>>10199007
>Waiter pays attention to me and smiles.
Fucking queers.

What are you doing bleeding onto /ck/? /r9k/ is the board for your kind.

>>10199007

>hear her wipe her hand on her apron after she leaves

>>10199061
this happened to you too?

>>10199212
back to ribbit, normie

>>10199265
I always figured that was her trying to force me to give her a tip.

>>10199182
>eurotard doesn't understand the concept of change

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Wn_0_ro04uI

>>10199286
>not give her the tip.
You had one job anon.

>>10199286
you mean give her the tip heheh

I wonder if among all the grils on ck, there’s a single one who isn’t a hulking blubbernaut. It makes me sad that it’s very unlikely.

>>10199279
>he thinks /r9k/ isn't normie central
You're adorable. The board died ages ago. It's over. The true wizards left before you even got there. The grand wizards smelled the approaching storm and left before the board was even reintroduced.

>>10199326
>thinking anyone actually leaves ever

>>10199265
Yea but with my daughter

>>10199352
No one leaves the site, but people leave boards all the time.

>>10199007
>Go to restaurant alone
>Waitress forgets about me for 10 mins
>Just leave

>>10199370
It really is a weird effect. I never thought i would only be posting on /ck/, but it somehow is the best board. It can't ruin food for me the same way /v/ ruined videogames.

>>10199050
Has this happened? Usually waiters are perpendicular the direction you're facing

>>10200050
Yes Anon, someone at a restaurant has gotten such an extreme boner that it went clean through the waitress' chest. It literally happened.

she wants to fugg.

This doesn't happen to me at restaurants but my dental hygienist rests her tits on my head all the time which is why I always keep my appointments

>>10199286
Under rated

>>10199590
>go to restaurant alone because I had a coupon for a free burger on my birthday
>waitress is super nice to me
>whole staff goes out of their way to greet me like I'm some make a wish kid
>food is fast and refills are brought constantly
They probably felt bad for me. It was an amazing experience.

>>10199007
Host/Waiter/cashier story time? I got two

>be me
>come back from camping
>go to A&W
>all my friends order
>they were never offered large orange juice
>get to counter
>order Canadian breakfast special and pancakes or something
>offers me a large oj
>fug okay
>brings us our food
>all my friends are eating and having a good time
>We finish
>leave a good review
>as we're walking out the same cashier holds a door for us
>Talking to friend
>"Dude, that's my waifu!"
>she heard
>we laughed
was a quality breakfast desu
1/2

>>10200493
2/2
>go to Canada's wonderland
>decide to go to East Side Marios for dinner
>come in
>like 2 servers around
>get seated
>Waitress is telling us we'll get served soon
>asks us if we'd like free bread
>how much
>Friend asks for a basket
>they give it to us
>We're ordering
>Waitress comes over
>talking about choices
>asks what I want
>orders the big spaghetti and meatball meal
>"Most people never finish it!"
>I'm always up for a challenge
>she laughs and leaves
>later as we're eating she comes up to us
>puts her hand on my shoulder
>starts to rub it
>friends all look at me
>say something regarding weight
>"Don't worry, there's just more of you to love!"
>we ask for bill
>tip her
>leave my number on the bill
>never get a call or text

mfw

>>10199296
She’s hot.

>>10200499
just kill yourself now and get it over with.

>>10199296
#hertoo

>>10199014
>girl smiled at me at McDonald's yesterday. My heart literally melted

>Lived in a rural area
>Every Saturday grabbed a book and went to a local restaurant
>The teenager waitresses greeted me and asked what was I reading that day. They treated me kindly
>Got lunch and started reading, then got a cup of coffee
>Hours later asked a waitress for supper
>Chatted with the waitresses and discussed local things(baseball, fishing, etc)
>Said my goodbyes, paid and went home

Miss my town. Restaurants in cities are always full and people speak too loudly. Also, it is true you cannot stay for more than a few minutes inside a buffet in America? I don't want to go there and be thrown away after opening a book or browsing my phone.

>>10199643
same, i also ditched /v/ for /ck/ (among a few other boards that i lurk)

>>10200808
How are you still alive?

>>10200836
It just depends how many seats are available. If there aren't many empty tables, it's obviously impolite to sit around reading. Go to the park or something.

>>10199296
what the fuck is this

>>10200836
Isn't food usually old or frozen in not so popular restaurants?

At this point waitressing and male waitressing is just prostitution. A way for handsome and beautiful chads and staceys to get money merely for existing.

"Let me pick this plate up from a counter and carry it to that poor beta's table. He will be so pleased to have the attention he'll give me the contents of his wallet because I'm beautiful and I'm suggesting he has a chance with me."

Fucking roasties. I refuse to tip on principle.

>waitress compliments my trenchcoat as she's handing me my check
I guess I can turn in my V-card boys, I tipped her a good 30% so I'm sure she'll remember me next time I go in

>>10199042
>bigly

>>10199296
Don't know why this guy was so worried about shade, I'm sure he had plenty under his fedora.

>>10200404
That happened to me at the orthodontist when i was getting my braces tightened, i was 14 at the time and almost creamed my jeans

>>10201377
>Stealing a 2 year old joke from the youtube comments
Come on anon you're better than that.

>>10201389
All dental work should be done by wellendowed women

>>10200493
>>10200499
Cringe

>>10201377
Back to ribbit.

>>10200050
>cuban restaurant
>sitting at a table of 15
>4 pitchers of mojito's ordered on the table
>tell waitress ill have water with just a slice of lemon and maybe a pepsi
>waitress smiles in approval of my sober mindness
>refills my glass 4 times, not so covertly as she reaches from behind and brushes her breasts firmly held in her bra across my shoulder each of the 4 times
mfw

>>10200499
>>10200493
Die

Die

Die

>>10201422
>All dental work should be done by *short wellendowed women

So you get guaranteed tiddies to the face

>>10199014
>defacing currency
Enjoy prison

>>10200499
>leave my number on the bill
>never get a call or text
Had the same thing happen to me ;_;

>>10201626
Defacement of currency refers more to fraudulently attempting to give a coin or bill the appearance of having a different value. They do not care about you drawing a hitler mustache on franklin

>>10199279
You have to go back
>>>/r9k/

>>10199643
Well it can't ruin food for you in the same way because you literally have to eat to live, but /ck/ will eventually go the way of every decent sized board with a decent community. I've seen it happen to /tv/, /mu/, and /r9k/. I bet there's some critical capacity where if more people than that start regularly posting/lurking on the board, it devolves into less discussion and more shitposting. The only boards I've seen immune to it are /sp/ and [s4s] but that's because they were more or less made for shitposting.

>>10201857
>>>/r/pol
>>>/fa/cebook

>>10199007
now lightly rest your cock on her back to return the favor

>>10201420
It was actually my joke. I just thought I'd give it a fresh airing while I had the chance.

>>10201470
>>10201611


>implying these were supposed to be feel good stories

This is the only time that i'll literally never tip. Like I want some cigarette smoking roastie slut that fucks half the staff there touching me with her disgusting dirty hands. The last time it happened at an olive garden and I told the waitress very calmly that she had five seconds to get her fucking hand off of my shoulder or I would make her do it myself. Women are so fucking smug it makes me sick.

>>10199014
>defacing currency
dude use a napkin or something

>>10202899
>commenting on YouTube videos
He was wrong, you aren't better than anything.

>>10199007
I hope you disinfected your back afterwards. Disgusting whore.

>>10199212
Go back to veddit

>>10199061
LOL

>>10201334
Irl /r9k/
https://youtube.com/watch?v=73uIPW4LRv4

>>10203328
>>10204309
Go back robot incels

>>10205772
I cant tell whats ironic anymore
But either way you should actually kill yourself

>waiting a group of 4 ladies
>they seem pretty cool and laid back so I joke around and smile
>chubby brunette seems to enjoy it more than the others
>leaves her phone number on the bill
>I'm gay

>>10200493
>>10200499
Awful story. Awful greentext. Awful everything. I seriously fucking hate you. Impotent tit.

>>10202491
R9k has always been shit, same with /tv/

>>10206174
Also /a/, /b/, /c/, /d/, /e/, /f/, /g/, /gif/, /h/, /hr/, /k/, /m/, /o/, /p/, /r/, /s/, /t/, /u/, /v/, /vg/, /vr/, /w/, /wg/, /i/, /ic/, /s4s/, /vip/, /qa/, /cm/, /lgbt/, /y/, /3/, /aco/, /adv/, /an/, /asp/, /bant/, /biz/, /cgl/, /ck/, /co/, /diy/, /fa/, /fit/, /gd/, /hc/, /his/, /int/, /jp/, /lit/, /mlp/, /mu/, /n/, /news/, /out/, /po/, /pol/, /qst/, /sci/, /soc/, /sp/, /tg/, /toy/, /trv/, /vp/, /wsg/, /wsr/, and /x/

>>10206221
>/jp/
NO. /jp/ JUST GOT SHITTY BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING GENERALS JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER BOARD. KAMINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>10199007
>residual skin cells from the waitress on the change come into contact with me
Is there a better feeling?

>>10199092
Thats a dude, isn't it?

>>10199007
tell her that is sexual harassment and you wanna speak to her manager.

>>10206295
Does it even matter at this point?

>>10199007
>Waitress scratches your back and gets the spot that was itchy.

>>10199007
>get hair cut
>hairdresser presses boobs against me
>she's related to me

>on vaccation in Spain
>Male waiter rests his hand on my back

/r9k/ go away

>>10206340
Scared that you might wake up?

>>10199007
>waitress rests her hand on my thigh
>sue her for sexual harassment

>>10199324
whats the difference either way? its kind of like a glory hole. not knowing is your best option

>>10201362
>male waitressing

>>10206367
>he doesn't go to trap cafes
lmaoing at ur lyfe rn scro

>>10201626
Defacing currency only includes trying to make it appear as a different amount or making it otherwise unusable.

>waitress spills my drink on my crotch
>dabs it with a napkin
>diamonds

>>10206371
>He doesn't want his food covered in shit and STDs, must be a freak

>>10199061

I thought I was the only one this happens to

>>10200371
Are you retarded?

>>10200493
>>We finish
>>leave a good review
Kys

>cute waitress sees my erection\
>don't you think that feel better if it was in my butt?
>say yes and follow her to walk in cooler
>she lifts dress and inserts my dick in butt
>I push deep
>now see, doesn't that feel better?
>and indeed, she was right, it did feel better

true story

>>10207693
nice

>whip out naked boner and then cover it with napkin in the lap
>whore comes over to ask if I want more tendies
>say nothing, gesture for her to take my plates away
>she takes my napkin and sees my weenie
>take that mom
>by the way I do want more tendies

>waitress laughs politely when I attempt and probably succeed at pronouncing the croatian dish

>>10199007
pretty sure they're instructed to do this type of shit at titty restaurants

>stop at doughnut shop in morning
>only customer there
>cute waitress is wearing simple dress
>nice tits, cute butt
>what can I getcha?
>what I would like I not on the menu
>oh aren't you the clever one
>coffee, 2% milk splash, plain doughnut
>coming right up
>get my order
>so, what's not on the menu you might like, sweetie?
>figured I go for it
>that cute butt and those yummy titties
>she's says "hold on a minute"
>walks around and locks front door
>come with me, she says
>we walk into the kitchen out of sight of th door and windows
>she pops up on prep table and spreads her legs
>skirt puls up and I'm staring a white cotton covered pudenda
>pussy lips gently extending, covered by this magic fabric
>have a bit of what's not on the menu, she says
>I push my face into her covered beaver, take a deep whiff and slide them off her in a jif
>sh'e pulled the top part of her dress down, and now I'm looking a braless pair of of gorgeous perky tits
>I look back at her crotch and her red pubic hair is glistening
>I drop trou and my meaty erection is buried balls deep her squishy girl slit
>fuck me, she says, pinching her nipples
>I start with long luxurious thrusts
>she is pushing back and developing a luscious rhythm
>she mouth goes to mine and she wrestles my tongue with hers
>fuck me harder, she moans
>fill that hot doughnut with some love cream!
>no wait, she says I want you to come in my butt
>we disengae and she turns around, bends over and puts her hands on the prep table
>give it me in my back door!
>I spread her butt cheeks to open that door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

>>10199007
reminded me of this comic I had someone redraw years ago

I always try to touch the cashier's hand when exchanging money.
I think about it for a few days afterwards if I get a successful palm touch.

>>10209030
I sometimes go to the bathroom and wipe my dick all over my hand if there's a qt on the checkout. Flesh on flesh contact and fluid exchange? Alpha as fuck and you know it.

>>10207478
>he doesn't enjoy a nice pozzed bugburger

>>10200371
I don't think the pic was supposed to be a dramatization

>>10209039
kekd

>be fat neckbeard eating out alone
>waitress is kinda blah but really hot
>try to ask her about her day and she talks to me for a while
>literally say "I'd like to make you happy." during the conversation
>she smiles with wide eyes at that
>time to go
>try to tip her $10 for a $20 meal
>"oh honey, no, I make more than you"
>almost get offended, but then remember I'm wearing my subway shirt underneath my jacket so she knows she's right

I hope autism is terminal

>order coffee
>put name down as badass nickname
>cute girl calls it out when order is ready

>>10207268
did this really happen

>>10209083
>>try to tip her $10 for a $20 meal
>>"oh honey, no, I make more than you"
>from a waitress
This has got to be one of the most paternalistic things I've ever read on this site.

>>10209083
>rewarding women with money for existing and giving you a single signal of positive reinforcement

I hope so too.

The Coles near my house always has the most gorgeous women working in there.
I'm pretty bad at talking with women so I get a bit drunk before grocery shopping to ease my nerves so I don't just stand there like an autist while they scan my frozen meals.

>me me at Taco Bell
>order $5 box
>name?
>Kltpzyxm
>order comes up
>Kltpzyxm, your order is ready
>Mister Mxyzptlk is returned to the 5th dimension
>I eat my $5 box
>and then go to Lois Lane's apartment and eat her box

>>10199092
Good. Fuck off idiot

>>10206295
Hips are too wide. A dude's legs would be closer together

>>10208991
Things That Never Happened: the post

>staff show any sort of familiarity with me
>never go there again

>>10210607
this happened to my cousin except the girl was a cute flat chested brunette with glasses and he came on her tits and it was a hardware store not a doughnut shop and he was shopping for a rake and he really isn't my cousin, just the step-son of one of my Mom's old boyfriends

>>10200493
>>10200499
gag

>>10200493
>>10200499
gag

>waitress accidentally spits in your mouth when she's speaking
>she makes a "swapping spit" joke

>>10211935
>waitress accidentally plunges her tongue in your mouth and tonguefucks your tonsils for a few minutes while your parents watch
>well I guess anon finally found a gf haha

>>10199290

>eurotard

O B S S E S E D

>>10211989
>O B S S E S E D
'tarded for sure

>be me
>be sexy af chad
>be me visiting Hooter's
>time to pay
>waitress offers her back for me to rest the bill while i sign it seated
>bbbraaappps on my face when i finished signing it
>leaves me her digits on a napkin saying "there's a lot more where that came from, call me xx"

gf'd her next day la

>>10212054
foy

>>10209133
Good post.

>>10212054
do a foy la xx

>>10201362
>t.cuck

>>10201366
>falling for the big league meme

>>10209083
Top kek

>>10200493
>>10200499
gag

>>10200493
>
>>10200499
gag

>>10212054
love does enter through the nose, well done la x

>>10212070
>>10212080
rude tbqh ngl la

>>10212608
ta la xx

>>10208843
made me laugh

>>10199007

I've had waitresses sit down in the booth beside me to take my order

It annoys me because all I can think about is how it's my booth and they are in my space.

>>10201589
>and maybe a pepsi
So what did she give you? Half a pepsi? Something that may or may not be pepsi?

>>10199011
I once had a waitress flirt with me to the point my brain stopped working and I forgot to put a tip down.

>>10206295
Yep. It's the skinny guy from h3h3productions.

>>10206295
Thats Ann Frank, dipshit. Be respectful.

>>10209083
Are you the guy that got kicked out for cooking your tendies in the toaster oven?

>>10213481
Only nine letters in her name and you still can't spell it.
American education.

>waiter/waitress makes physical contact
>waiter/waitress kneels next to the table while taking orders
>being overly friendly
its grown somewhat satisfying to not tip these fucking rays of sunshine

>>10213481
>Anne frank

Jesus fuck, you guys.......

Dating a waitress isn't that great I can confirm.

The whole thread is stories of waitress's buttering autists for tips and autist saying mfw no qt3.14 waitress gf.

snap out of it guys.

>>10203328
thats some rage

>go to sushi, hot asian slut there
>order their biggest sushi and eat the whole thing ravenously
>this slut is getting horny watching me eat all that sushi and she audibly making those retarded sounding "wounded animal" noises that they make
>pretend not to notice. pay my bill and get out of there away from this crazy bitch

Host/Waiter/cashier story time? I got one

>be me
>come back from camping
>go to A&W
>all my friends order
>they were never offered large orange juice
>get to counter
>order Canadian breakfast special and pancakes or something
>offers me a large oj
>fug okay
>brings us our food
>all my friends are eating and having a good time
>We finish
>leave a good review
>as we're walking out the same cashier holds a door for us
>Talking to friend
>"Dude, that's my waifu!"
>she heard
>we laughed
was a quality breakfast desu

>>10214526
Thanks for letting us know what the real deal is. We were entirely unaware. This changes everything.

>waitress sucks on my penis
>I still don’t tip her

>>10199011
Came in to post this

good thead

>eating out with mom
>waitress is someone from highschool (7 years ago)

>>10207693
kek

>>10211951
>not,well i guess anon has found his fill

>>10214863
>embarrassed to be seen in public with mom
>not embarrassed to be seen with dad
why is that, /r9ck/?

>>10214967
I haven't seen my dad in 5 years

>>10214967
its because you always get a boner for some reason when your with your mom

>>10213475
based

>>10206247
>a board made as containment for the people that were too weeaboo for /a/
>TOO FUCKING WEEABOO FOR /a/, THESE PEOPLE
>not shit at any point

>>10199212
typical fucking woman

>>10209083
hahahaha oh my

>>10199007
> Waitress spread her ass and presented her pussy to me.

>>10208991

>>10199011
Can confirm. Back when I was a turbo virgin underage faggot I left a $17 dollar tip on like a $30 bill because she laughed at my joke.

>>10215071
Rude.
>>>/reddit/

>>10206334
That wasn't his hand anon

>>10199011
>Mom taking me out for dinner on birthday
>mention that I work and manage a restaurant
>was already flirty but assumed I have taken the bait
>asks me about menu items (to be fair it's a good unique restaurant)
>my mom won't stop bugging me that I should ask her out
>drive her home mildly annoyed
I mean I want to believe, but I know too well. Maybe this is my problem, but I just can't say.

>>10208991
embarassing

>>10210607
>>10215309
>he doesn't recognize walk the dinosaur
Fucking end yourselves, you flaming newfags

I wishall /r9k/fags died or for me to stop coming to this shitty site and finally fully transition into a normalfag and only browse my social media

>>10215175
Maybe you should go back there you faggot

>>10215360
You don't even recognise that he messed it up by basically writing the story to completion. Sad.

>>10199011
Uhh, I don't tip

>>10214129
Its like anudda shoah

>At a diner late night for some food and coffee
>Waitress brings the pot to the table and pours me a mug
>Try it and tell her the coffee is actually cold
>She grabs it and says "here let me warm it up for you"
>Takes my mugs and holds it next to her crotch
>laughs and goes and gets a fresh pot

>>10215371
Did you mean to reply to someone who implied they gave a shit about what you wish would happen?

>twin peaks
>its lingerie week
>she sits down next to me at the table to take orders and flirt

>>10210607
Fags getting bated: the sequel.

>>10200371
Not that, you fucking muppet

>>10199011
Female waitress here, guarantee she looked at this fat, female attention starved slob and saw a good tip.

>>10217666
show fucking tits whore

>>10217737
hey, don't cuss at my waiter

>>10217737
Here (you) go

>>10210607
You were the one who made that post werent you
Ck has always been on another level