/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10102381
How many cuckings did you go through for 12 bottles? I managed 6. 2 for 1 pretty good IMO.

>>10102381
Seems like a waste to buy 12 bottles of that hot sauce.
Maybe this is why you are under this "hubby" point wystem.

>>10102381
What a delightful sounding marriage!

>>10102381
I hope you have a lot of hot sauce enjoying friends/co-workers. That much is too much unless you're greasing wheels, or assholes as the case may be.

>>10102390

>he's never had sa

>>10102381
Stop supporting all whitebread Portland memefoods

Thoughts on their spicy mayo? It tastes very similar to the 'vark habanero but Lee's spicy and a little bit sweeter.
>>10102396
Thank you for your kind words!
>>10102397
It's all for me. I EAT ALL DA 'VARKS! Nom nom nom
>>10102399
'Vark is exploding with flavor and I love Portland with every fiber of my being so umm, no? Yeah... I'm gonna go with no :p

>>10102390
How is it a waste? 12 bottles will last me 3 months at least.

Unironically my favorite sauce

>>10102447
Unironically it's the best hot sauce ever

>>10102381
I could probably get 6 months worth of 'vark out of 12 bottles if I rationed myself to half a bottle a week. Thoughts? Any way I can make it last longer?

>>10102529

Just fucking move to PDX. Every time I get a bottle it lasts me a week at most.

>>10102381
>wife let you
cuck

>>10102381
Real it's decent hot sauce and as someone who lives in Portland it isn't hard to get a hold of. Is it hard to find for rural and suburban retards?

>>10102590

>is it hard to find for rural and suburban retards

Look up their limited distribution, dum dum.

t. Reed alum

>>10102397
That little tranny is such a cutie

I got a bottle for the first time tonight. Pretty good stuff!

I'm on a diet rn so it's all I'm gonna eat for the next two days.

>>10102381
Why is this a meme on /ck/ and only /ck/ despite /ck/ pretending it is used by numales all over the world?
Why would you people lie to me like this?
>>10102767
No.

>>10102776
Honestly, really, I would fuck its confused little brain out

>>10102381
I can't imagine discussing buying 12 bottles of meme sauce with my girlfriend, and she's the one who makes all the income.

>>10102783
I literally want to fuck boys on /trash/ and I can say you have shit taste.

>>10102770
I always mix 2 parts 'vark and 8 parts Soylent when I go on a diet binge.

>>10102381
Add the vark sauce to a bloody mary. Its so fucking good.

>>10102776
I think /ck/ just made it up because there was a shill here once.

I like this sauce, but my one complaint is the bottle is very hard to squeeze. I wonder if it's supposed to be like that, or if I got an abnormally firm one. Does anyone else have this problem?

>>10102776
I have never seen this sauce outside of /ck/. I don't understand the meme culture of this site anymore.
Maybe I'm getting too old.

>>10102847
I struggle with squeezing them too. I wish they used a softer, recycled plastic instead of this material because it's too hard. I feel like I'm going to get arthritis from trying to squeeze the bottle every day.

>>10102847
No joke I had to go to the doctor because I sprained my hand on a bottle secret habanero. It turned it was fine, but I thought I broke it. Turned out it was just a cramp in my hand.

>>10102847
>>10102858
>>10102862
Just take the cap off and pour it into your own bottle you dumb bitches.

>>10102864
Wouldn't that ruin the flavour profile of the sauce?

>>10102864
It's pretty wasteful to not even use the bottle it comes in, desu

>>10102867
Oh yeah sorry my bad.

>>10102381
>trading in your good hubby points
Never trade in your good hubby points. They're hard to earn and it's satisfying to have lots. I have over two thousand now and every morning I like to remind my wife just how many I have. I think she's very proud of me, too.

>>10102776
It's reverse psychology from secret aardvark shills.
I think it's working.
>>10102872
I know this is a joke but that actually made me smile like I was watching a really wholesome anime. Thank you, anon.

>>10102874
You're an idiot.

>>10102767
Pretty sure that’s a ftm tho. Sorry anon, no dick for you.

>>10102767

I've got no problem with trannies and find many of them attractive. Whatever that thing is is fucking gross though.

>>10102857
I actually ordered a bottle because I couldn't tell if people were being ironic. It's just decent. I don't think I'll order anymore. Meh, can't hate it unless you try it yourself.

>>10103254
>can't hate it unless you try it yourself

I challenge this statement

>>10103254
whats a cheap place to order from?

>>10102381
more like soy sauce

>>10102397

>>10104193
'vark palace dot org

>>10103219
The grossness only makes it better.
>>10103165
Ftm is still a tranny. There's something so interesting about fucking a little fem thing that is trying to be a man.

>>10104329
>locks his knees

Also, OP is a fag

>>10102381
the state of marriage is at an all time low

>>10104901
>a guy gets 12 bottles of his favorite sauce
>OH NO MARRIAGE IS DOOMED
Stop projecting.

I prefer 'cha.

>>10102857
I saw someone link it on /v/ in a soy thread so I thought you guys were behind it.
I was not wrong.

Shit meme though.

>>10105224
Hit too close to home soyboy?

>>10105285
There's nothing wrong with avoiding excess androgens and pointless masculinization

>>10105015
but do you keep a spare 'vark for the times you don't feel like having 'cha?

>>10102441
because of expiration dates.

get on my level and accept women as your superior already

>>10105675
that plan backfires when daddy starts giving the baby laxatives to get more diaper change points, and ends up killing it from dehydration

>>10105650
Of course!

>>10105698
brofist

>>10102381
step aside child

>>10106015
>eating cactus
Do Americans really do this?

>>10102847
I accidentally wasted an entire bottle because I had to put a book on top of it and sit on it to get any of the sauce to squeeze out but then it popped open and went everywhere.

>>10105675
I'm totally stealing this idea! I just got engaged last November and I can't wait >.<

>>10107133
>not drinking san pedro tea
uhhhh

>>10107344
>san pedro tea
Do you drink the spines too, Amerigoblin?

'Vark is popular on Reddit.

>>10107577
Proof?

>>10107603
just go to r/spicy or r/hotsauce. it get's talked about and recommended in numerous threads.

>>10107615
I'm not going to believe you without some sort of proof. That's just bullshit, reddit would hate 'vark because it's not a Sriracha ripoff. Your just trying to make me feel bad for buying and eating it.

>>10105654
if the sauce stays sealed it will last years on the shelf.

>>10107626
This. I like to let mine age in the plastic bottles so that the plastic denatures and adds a whole new complex flavour profile to the sauce.

>>10102381
wtf is this? I love hot sauces, but i've never seen it

>>10107737
Secret 'vark is the sweetest and mildest habanero sauce on the market. Try some if you get a chance.

I've been putting this stuff on my eggs, what other uses would you guys recommend?

>>10107756
Put a shot of it into a bottle of Soylent. I am not kidding, it is GOAT. I thought the other anons were joking but it is seriously amazing. Only do it in the original flavour though, because the cacao, chai, vanilla and fruit flavors don't pair well with it.

Other than that I like to use 'vark to coat panko battered chicken wings after I fry them. Try using it as a dipping sauce for bacon-wrapped scallops or shrimp. It's also amazing if you drizzle it on pizza.

>>10107615
I don't see a single thread about it.

>>10107833
use the search
https://www.reddit.com/r/hotsauce/comments/7n2hhn/secret_aardvark_holy_crap/

>>10107756
I put a few drops on my sandwiches

>>10107839
Your 'cado toast or your McChicken?

>>10107862

>>10107741
Im in WI, would it be good enough to buy one of their sauces from their store? Like is this must try?

>>10107911
If you don't try it you're missing out on the best hot sauce to come out in the 21st century so far

>>10107911
I'd recommend it, it's got a nice subtle mustard flavor that i really enjoy

>>10107917
>>10107925
Looks like they only ship in 3s. are the black bean and jerk good too?

>>10107928
Not just good but amazing.

>actually buying secret aardvark

>>10107933
>actually buying 'vark
FTFY

>>10107928
Haven't tried those so i dont know, but i would imagine they are

>>10107932
aight I'll keep it in mind

What does this even taste like? Looking at the bottle it looks like it's creamy or something.

I'm quite satisfied with the habanero sauce I get from my latin grocer but should i give this a try?

>>10107987
its how i like my women. sweet and thicc.

>>10107987
If you like spicy mayo, you'll love 'vark sauce.

>>10102381
>obsessing over hot sauce
>instead of putting the spices in the food
I don't get it. I mean for a few meals I'm sure hot sauce is great, but I don't get this obsession with brands and flavours etc. Unironically, is it just an american thing?

>>10105675
>a real "human" "man" is currently trading in his points to purchase a hula dance from his wife who is, presumably, the love of his life
>he earns the points by doing normal adult chores and taking care of his child
Jesus, that is grim.

>>10108027
It is probably an American thing. But it's nice. I have 8 or 9 different hot sauces at home right now. Sure, there's the argument for just spicing the food, but what I enjoy about sauces is that you can make each bite taste different. I ate some sardines with crackers for lunch, and some bites were spice free, others were heavy in vinegar spice, and others were smoky spicy.

>>10108038
I think it's kind of cute

>>10108027
>>10108039
I think it is an American thing, specifically with our generation because we love spicy food but our Boomer parents hate it, so we get used to just buying hot sauce and adding it to our food, leading to the current craze.

>>10108051
>specifically with our generation because we love spicy food but our Boomer parents hate it
Yeah. I almost mentioned this in my post. I live with my mom (no, I am not a NEET), and sometimes her food is just really bland. It goes for eating out too. Most restaurants do not make their food very spicy, even if it's a dish which is customarily prepared piquant.

>>10108040
Really? I mean, you could make the sex things kinda cute, but "no nagging for a week"? "Get out of the doghouse"? Asking for permission to buy beer? It comes off as them thinking the basis for a marriage is to act like an extremely stereotypical sitcom couple.

>>10108072
No, you're right, on closer examination, the whole thing is fucking gay. I like that baby sideburns are on there. Shit, even the beer thing I could swing if the idea is that he's supposed to be cutting back for health reasons. But the dog house one is what really fucking ruins it. How manufactured is your relationship that hubby can play a chore card to make you stop being mad at him (for probably a dumb fucking reason to begin with)?

>>10108040
Kill yourself then, cuck

>>10108104
Rude

Serious question, Amazon has this three pack which is cheaper than individual bottles. Are the other flavors worth having?

is this shit good or a meme? I am out here in the midwest

>>10108093
It's pretty sadistic on multiple levels. It not only implies that he is going to fuck up on a regular basis but that her reaction to it is so manufactured that she can just stop being mad at the drop of a hat. It's emotionally abusive and extremely unhealthy.

>>10102397
>having a collection of photos like this in a folder

tell me how it feels to be so closeted?

>>10108814

I bought some the other week. It's not bad but not worth the price over other options. I think it's just a meme ad campaign.

>>10107626
You sure that's how it works there, mister wizard?

>>10104658
>his

How is this meme sauce vs say El yucateco habanero which is currently my go to?

>>10109939
'vark is much sweeter and milder.

>>10110067
Ah, so watered down for soyboys got it.
I'll stick to El Yucateco. It costs a $1.

>>10110101
It's not "watered down" really, it's just that the FDA forced Secret Aardvark to make the sauce milder because there were safety concerns regarding the cartoon mascot being attractive to children. They added more and more sugar to compensate and now it's the sweetest hot sauce you can buy.

>>10102381

Lucky, my wife won't let me eat the 'vark anymore because it's too spicy and burns Tyrone's BBC when we have reparations night

>>10110172
My wife only lets me eat 'vark 2 times a week for the same reason.

>>10102381
You fucked up kiddo. Could've gotten a hot sauce that's actually good.

>Can't get 'vark where i'm from
Guys what do I do?

>>10102381
Is it worth the brainpower trying to understand this meme?

>>10110626
Amazon has it.
>>10110634
Personally? I'd say yes, it is very layered, nuanced and sophisticated.

>>10110591
piri piri is extremely spicy, fuck that. enjoy your hemmorhoids, diapers and prolapses.

>>10110809
That sauce is barely spicy at all though. It's really salty

>>10110849
Nice try but you aren't tricking me I already tried it. It was the spiciest thing I have ever eaten, I had tears rolling down my cheeks, I could barely breathe it felt like I was fucking suffocating, and I had diarrhea for 4 days after. It was the worst pain I ever had in my life, it was basically like eating mace. I never forgave the "friend" that got me to try it, we're not friends anymore obviously.

>>10110797
>Amazon has it.
I can't order anything from Amazon. I live in Australia and my account got red flagged because I tried to buy a petite RealDoll.

>>10110809
you really don't want to be using a diaper if you've eaten spicy food

>>10111006
I meant in the future when your damaged asshole gives up.

>>10110974
>Australia
Nice freedoms you got there

>>10104329
oh no

oh lord jesus in heaven no

>using the smith machine
>doing 1/4 squats
>ass not on ground
>relaxed and pleasant looking

GET A TRAINER

>>10102397
>That perfect stencil-looking hammer and sickle frosting design

>>10111097
Not him but that's the price of security.

>>10102847
They made the plastic way too hard. I can barely squeeze any out sometimes. It helps if you hold it under running hot water for 15 seconds before using it.

>>10111890
I know this word gets thrown around so often it has become meaningless but you really are a cuck

>>10112125
How the hell does that make me a "cuck" exactly?

>>10102389
FPBP


>asking your wife for permission to buy something


Are you sure you didn't ask her bull?

>>10112136
giving up your own freedoms for greater security despite, as Benjamin Franklin put it "you deserve neither and will lose both" could be described with a lot of words. "bootlicker", "sycophant", "prole", or just simply "bitch" but I find that cuck(old) works nicely, and has a bit of (albeit heavily degraded) charm to it

>>10112163
Not him, but well said.

>>10108835
>implying
It also implies that he is so uninvolved and apathetic about his children and his house that he needs to constantly be told/bribed to do anything at all. What a shit person.

>>10112125
>you really are a cuck

He could be a wittol -- a cuck who's okay with being a cuck.

>>10112231
That's a good one, thank you.

>>10112254
>t. wittol

>>10112231
A Ponce

>>10110172
What did he mean by this?

>>10110626
Order directly from the 'vark store

>>10108835
>>10112196
>two shitty people trying to make for one anothers inadequacies
Marriage is starting to sound a lot like marriage.

>>10110974
wtf is wrong with your country???

>>10112904
How is that "wrong"?

>>10110626
delivery due any day now, yes I'm on the mailing list, yes I'm buying meme sauce because the Internet told me to.
https://chilemojo.com.au/secret-aardvark-habanero-hot-sauce-236ml-8oz.html

thoughts on this bad boy?

>>10113660
Perfect for the brainwashed soygoys who jizz in their skinnyjeans everytime Stephen Colbert is having a seizure about Trump.

>>10102857
Shit like this makes me want to see if I can shill a product into mediocre memedom.

LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!

>>10113674
Kill Trump

>>10113689

>>10113708
implying the FBI won't be sending him out 10 grand and a challenge coin

so its just one guy calling it 'vark right

>>10114291
I've been calling it 'vark since 2013, not the guy your talking to tho

>>10114291
Yes, all the anti secret aardvark ironic soyboy posts are clearly one guy with an unhealthy hatred for a hot sauce

>>10114291
>>10115698
samefag

>only a /ck/ meme
it has a fuck ton of Amazon reviews, it's not exactly """muh secret sauce""".

>>10115871
>soy
>estrogen

>>10115871
>>10115879
samefag

>>10116150
imagine being this much of a buttblasted numale

>>10102381
>a rug on your couch
>floor tiles on your coffee table
what the fuck kind of circus do you live in?

>>10116150
>>10114291
>>10115698
samefag butt-blasted PNWfag

>>10112419
A Ponce is my cat, Poncey.

>>10116171
A lot of people have couch covers, especially those with pets, children, or those who throw parties.

Tiled tables are superior because they don't need coasters and hot food can be placed on them without damaging the wood.

>>10117027
That's a rug nigga

>>10104658
You're supposed to lock out knees weak fag. About the only thing soyboy there is actually doing right.

>>10112861
That's probably why I decided to get with the perfect guy. Neither of us has flaws so we're even better together.

>>10109939
>>10110101
>el yucateco

>>10105675
Was this something that someone unironically posted on reddit and got tons of internet points for?

>>10105675
it doesn't say whose throw up it has to be

>>10119346
Yes, OP here I think its cute :3

>>10102397
daily reminder that this faggot is an omnivore

>>10120801
so he only eats eggs?

>>10122372
That's not what omnivore means, retard. Omnivore means that they eat meat and veggies.

>>10108038
>normal adult chores and taking care of his child
for hundreds of years men thought along the lines of "I earn the money and work 8 hours a day, my wife can do all of that shit"
if that seems weird to you, well, that's a sign of legitimate progress

>>10105675
this isn't real. right? just let me believe this is just a joke.

>>10108808
none of this is worth money. you earn it for some extreme fuck up.

>>10123003
Of course it is. No woman could ever commit to a full week of not nagging.

>>10123018
this is a good point

>>10123018
Aaaaaaaaaah women. Hmmmm see what I mean?

>>10123067


I'd rather be a side chick to a loyal nigga than a main chick to a cheater..

>>10123080
this is the most niggery thing I have read today. congrats.

>>10102776
It's not just a meme, anon, it's the first result on Amazon when you search "hot sauce". So people must be buying it.

>>10107245
lmao, thanks for the mental image of that.

>>10123014
What is your favourite hot sauce, loser? Mine is 'vark and your pissing me right the hell off

>>10123466
you're*

>>10112747
repressed cuckolding fantasies

You guys know of any Chipotle sauce I could find in stores? I can't seem to find Cholula Chipotle anywhere anymore since like last year.

>>10123703
No but I know where you can get 'vark sauce

>>10123737
Where?

*blocks your path*

heh, nothing personal kid

>>10124577
>t. patrician
As much as I like Louisiana I prefer Crystal (Extra Hot)

>>10124569
Amazon or the secretvark store

>>10124577
Not as good as 'vark

>>10124577

>SA thread
>posts wal mart tier spiced vinegar as though it's some kind of counter

>>10125626
>Louisiana is "wal-mart tier"

>>10125670

>>10125705
Based LGR, you're an alright cunt Clint

>extremely sweet
No thanks

>>10124646
Same, crystal is really good. I like Tabasco like a cowboy too

>>10105675
whose favorite beer comes in a fucking 12 pack

>>10125920
pic related