/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>tfw went to a strip club by myself for my 27th birthday last year
>really nervous so went and sat down in the area where you can order food, kind of like a cafe, in partially obstructed view of the main floor
>nervous as fuck
>waitress comes over, doesn't look like a stripper
>I look at the menu
>order a cheeseburger and fries
>cost: 36 dollars
>food comes, is really mediocre and tastes very average
>eat it nervously without once looking up from the table
>waitress comes back
>cheerily asks me if I enjoyed my food
>want to complain about the mediocre quality
>'i-i-i-t was like -m-m-m-cdonalds but at-t- least there the hamburglar doesnt rub his STDs in my face'
>she looks visible annoyed
>apologise and say it was a joke
>have been back every weekend since, for the same food, to prove I was not being rude to her
>tfw haven't even paid for a lap dance

How do I eat less red lentils? I am fucking obsessed with them. I eat them 3 meals per day. Today:

Breakfast: Almond Milk poached Red Lentils on Toast with a grapefruit that I cut into segments, then I used the segments to scoop up lentils
Lunch: Red Lentil Sandwich, with a bag of chips that I opened, poured lentils into, then left to sit in the fridge at work
Dinner: 300g of dry red lentils cooked
Snack: As a snack I take individual cooked red lentils and cut open grapes, then force the lentils into the grapes and eat them

they are so fucking good but I am shitting 4 times a day

People here are obsessed with American Culture.

For example there is a Five Guys in my town that opened fairly recently. I have a brother who is obese and he is obsessed with 'american snacks', and has literal binbags filled with imported american treats.

When the Five Guys opened he had 4 meals a day there, every day for 2 months on top of his usual bags of 'american candy'. it only stopped because he got kicked out for sexually harassing a server there by refusing to leave the restaurant until she died her hair red and put on blue bowties he bought for her so she would 'look like Wendy'. he still pays me to go there and get food every couple of days.