/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12480963
My man.

>>9186764
>>9186780

>go to Trader Joe's
>talking on headphones, security guard gestures to me
>i take them off and walk up to him and go 'hm'?
>"BACK THAT ASS UP SUGAR YOUS FINE AS HELL".
>Instantly starts blowing me.
>Employees stop what they're doing, form a line.
>Elvis rises from the grave and gives me a thumbs up.
>Personally performs at the store.
>Local trillionaire gives me a billion dollars and makes me his sole heir.
>The president flies his plane directly into the store and names me King of the Free World.
>Jesus Christ shows up and gives me a high-five.
>Trader Joe names me owner of all stores.
>The security guard's radioactive tooth cap gives me superpowers.
>Also immortality.
>Aliens land and ayy lmao me King of Cosmos.
>OP declares himself a massive faggot and commits suicide on a broadcast played on all channels around the world simultaneously.
>Christopher "Mootles" Pool knights me "The Little Girl".
>mfw.
Why is Trader Joe's the best place to shop for food, /ck/?