/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I'm actually totally fine with spicy food, and I'm really white. Spicy food is so good, it makes any dish better. The way your tongue vibrates is almost orgasmic. I love spicy food. Until it hits my asshole. Then I don't like spicy food. It's way hotter on the way out. I'll tell you what really sucks. When you have really horrible liquid diarrhea, and you ate a bunch of ghost pepper nachos for lunch. Whoo boy does that make me want to kill myself. It's basically like shitting rivers of lava. You think you're done, you're drenched in sweat, your legs are shaking, you stand up to wipe, but fuck no! There goes the Lava Hydro Pump out of your asshole again! Every 5 fucking minutes you have to purge red hot feces for hours. Then your asshole gets chapped from all the wiping so you have to pass lava demon shit over bloody ripped and torn asshole flesh. Got I hate spicy food.

That's why, now, I always make sure to carry a Dude Wipe in my wallet at all times.