/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>Parents sent a gift package of smoked fish to me.
>Put it in the fridge, on my side, packed well enough so the smell of the smoke isn't too overpowering.
>Come back from wok wanting a piece of fish I only get once every Christmas, the whole container is gone.
>Roommate threw it away, said the smell was "offensive".
>mfw it was double wrapped in shrink wrap, and put in a tupperware container like fucking drugs.

>>9737206
>"Can't you just give me discounts even if neither of us have coupons? You know there is a coupon, so do I, so just give it to me for half off."
>"Well, I want to talk to your manager if you are going to be rude about it."
Fuck you, I may hate my job but i'm being paid 13/hr and am not risking my job because you want to save some dollars on your shit.

>Scooping persimmon pulp into bowl, with another bowl for garbage.
>Get stick blender to puree pulp.
>Notice something floating around that won't puree.
>Absent mindedly put a hollowed out persimmon shell into my pulp bowl and now it looks like a graboid exploded in my bowl.

>Scanning customers items.
>Customer decides to scan their own item they were holding, leaning over and scanning the item.
>They fuck up and scan said item three times before yanking the item away.
>Now I have to call a manager over to remove the fuckup.
>Takes five minutes for a manager to show up.
Let me do my job if you are incapable of doing it for me you fuck.

>>9607108
>When you go shopping on the day everyone gets their oil royalty check.

>>9560156
>Bottled water 2.09

>Go to buy a 4 pack of single serve wines.
>Every single carry box is missing at least one bottle.

>>9410918
>When you grab one that is still sealed.
>When the next one you grab has just a faintest hint of an opening in the shell.

>>9315465
>tfw we used to do this same shit to anything that could clip wires.
>The tweakers faces when they could not steal shit using our tools.

>>9280171
>Say "Hi" to customer, help customer with something they need.
>Walk them to the correct isle for product.
>Manager pulls me to the side later.
>"Anon, I saw you walk past three customers and never greeted them."

Next time I will just bring my cloning device to work, asshole

>>9261833
>Anon, what do you mean you don't have any American cheese? You know they don't like cheddar.
>Do you mind if I eat this entire can of whipped cream, i'm having a craving.
>I had to use half a stick of butter just to fry my egg on your pan, why don't you have any good non stick?
>Oh hehe, it looks like one of the kids got into your vinyl disks and tossed them on the floor again, why don't you kid proof your house?

>>9213589
>"But it tastes fishy."
No fucking shit.

>>9111619
>A protip is that if you ever see someone stealing, call them out on it.

>tfw my retard of a boss tells everyone to just let them get away with it because we don't want to upset anyone.
>Then the next week wonders why the fucking budget is shit.
>Try to fix our forklift with a replacement 40w fuse that pops instantly.
>Apparently the wiring inside the machine is so shit the fuse is supposed to be only 4w, and they have the thing so jacked the battery is fucking melting.

>Go get a salmon from the store, ask the guy behind the counter if he can fillet it for me.
>What can only be described as an ISIS video as his shaky as fuck hands butcher the fish I see before me.
>He notices the knife is dull because he is cutting all of the bones so he grabs a steel and slings the blade at it as chunks of fish fly off the blade.
>When he removes the skin half of the meat is on the skin.
>This took him five minutes to do in total.

>Get a double yolk.
>One of them breaks after watching for a few seconds.
>It fucking sticks.

>>8919570
You MOTHERFUCJER

>Be amazing at the grill.
>Know every inns and outs of my grill.
>Removed a cherry tree by hand in my own yard for the wood to go next to my apple pile.
>Can tell by the second when a steak is ready.
>Family shows up, brother wants to use the grill.
>Fuck it.
>See him grab a jug of lighter fluid and soak the coals.
>FFFFFFFFFFFFF
>Blaze in my yard.
>"Bro, you should get rid of all this dry wood, it's too close to the barbecue!"
>His three kids are destroying my house.
>mfw he stabs the mound of meat formerly known as steak 12 times and flips it constantly.

>Decide to make a gift basket for co-workers.
>Smoke a bunch of salmon. skin on because it acts like a non stick surface.
>Leave it on because of the layer of fat it comes with for some moisture because I do a hot smoke and it comes out like fish jerky.
>Leave the plate of it on the table in the break room.
>People love it, the room smells like smoke and delicious fish.
>Next day still smells like that.
>Next day.
>Day after that.
>They all threw the skins in a trash can that didn't have a bag.
>mfw

>Customer wants to buy a table.
>Keeps trying to haggle on the price, despite it being half off.
>Wants to see manager so they can get a better deal through broken English.
>Manager shows up.
>Tries to explain the same shit I did to them.
>This takes another 10 minutes, they keep wanting the display for 20% more off because it's damaged.
>lolno.
>They pay, finally and go to the loading area to pick up the massive 200lb box.
>Open the loading door and see that they are driving a sub compact SUV packed with child seats.
>They insist the box is going to fit inside.
>Off by a foot.
>Wants me to strap it on the roof because they don't know how.
>Company policy says I can't do that, so no.
>Wants the table taken out of the box.
>It's the same size as the box I try to explain, the whole table top is one piece.
>Manager makes me do it anyway.
>They take the chairs and we are stuck with a table top taking up room in the loading bay for a week.
>They complain that is is damaged when they pick it up finally, manager gives them 20% off.
>mfw

>>42758
STOP

no bully

>>8706223
>tfw you find a fruit fly in your wine.
>Try to scoop it out.
>It smashes against the side of the glass.

>Go to store to get some salmon.
>Pick out fish and ask the guy to filet it.
>My laziness will soon come to bite me.
>Watch his body language, he clearly doesn't know how to do this, even says he hardly filets fish.
>You work in seafood, the fuck?
>He grabs the fuckhuge knife used to cut steaks, the correct knife sitting next to it.
>He gets halfway through the first fish and grabs the steel.
>I see chunks of meat flying off the blade as he "sharpens" the knife.
>He is sawing at this thing like an ISIS video.
>I can only watch and internally pic related as my fish is fucking butchered.

>>8657379
>Watching someone eat chicken wings with a fork.

>>8642607