/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>meijer
>grab 5th of bottom shelf vodka in a hurry
>dontwanttolooksuspicious.png
>casually walk around then slip it down my pants
>waddle to bathroom
>go in stall and wrench off the protective cover
>have to get blasted quick because poor and depressed and alcoholic
>don't want it on my breath
>drop trow and keaster vodka bottle
>try bending my legs and standing straight quickly up so vodka can pour up my ass
>not going up my ass far enough
>adjust bottle in ass then try and do a hand stand on the toilet with my legs on the stall door
>vodka flows smoothly down my anus
>feelsjohngoodman.mp4
>lose balance and fall down
>glass shatters while it's still in my ass

Luckily just the bottom of the bottle shattered and the top of the bottle didn't and I could remove it from by butt, I was one shift away from being goatse.