/ck/ - Food & Cooking

ITT: food tips your parents gave you

From my mom:
-"Don't serve pasta when you're having short people over for dinner. Short people usually don't like noodles."
-"Never buy an extra freezer. You're only going to store crap you're never going to eat."
-"Feed your children meat from a young age or else they're going to turn out meek and physically frail. Like your cousins."
-"Food allergies are like depression. Doesn't exist. You're just looking for stuff to complain."
-"Don't worry about Botox. Just eat a lot of cartilage for collagen."

From my dad:
-"Never marry a woman who thinks serving leftovers is okay."
-"Scout out orientation meetings if you're short on grocery money. They usually have food and don't check for ID. If you bring plastic baggies to put over your hand you can scoop up a bunch of food, flip the bag inside out to seal it, and stow it away to eat later. You do have to sit through some useless presentation but you kids have iPods now, right?"
-"A good rule of thumb to distinguish healthy foods from bad: if your shit smells fucking horrible, it's bad for you."