/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>be me, 20, in university
>living in shared four bedroom apartment with kitchen
>second year living in the apartment, no roomie troubles
>fat sack of shit stoner moves in to fill vacancy
>this guy is huge
>meh, whatever
>week or so goes by
>be asleep
>BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP
>fire alarm
>run out to the kitchen in my skivvies, smoke billowing forth from oven, other housemates come out too
>lard ass is nowhere to be found
>turn off oven, open window, open oven
>burnt pizza
>call his cell phone
>he's high as shit
>ask him about pizza
>"oh yeah, I forgot about that"
>mfw

This happened like four more times until we managed to get his ass evicted. He also liked to eat margarine by the stick.