/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19840327
>I'm in college music class and bored so, let's see what you come up with
We don't like giving recipes even when someone is asking for something specific. That's literally, "do my homework for me" tier. Nobody is writing anything out for you just because you're some dumb kid slacking off in class who doesn't even post on /ck/. You're also a namefag, couldn't even bother to post a /ck/ relevant image, and don't even know what the word "shill" means. You should put the /ck/ recipe at the very beginning of this book you're totally making. It's really simple. All it will say is, "/ck/", followed by, "Fuck off."

>>19777000
>cabbage and potatoes
That's the complete opposite of what OP's asking for.
>>19777002
>any puree
That's actually a good answer, especially if you call it a coulis. Most people simply don't use certain techniques at home so it seems really high end or professional. Nobody makes parsnip puree at home even though it's dirt flavored tubers blended up with some dairy and salt you almost only ever see at high end restaurants. i would also add hummus, which most people don't realize is absurdly overpriced if you buy it pre-made.
>>19777007
This is also wrong. Most people think cooking steak is easier than it is.
>>19777100
Same thing as the above.
>>19777104
I would also say biscuits are wrong. Most people don't realize what's involved in making biscuits, and for that matter they view whipped cream as something that comes from a can. They're both viewed as simple, cheap foods.
>>19777123
Correct. Anything stuffed is impressive, simply because you can visually see the steps involved (stuffed peppers are debatable).
>>19777172
Most Asian food is impressive to non-Asians when made by non-Asians.
>>19777345
Paella is about as difficult as it is impressive. It also depends on the presentation.
>>19777716
I don't think most people even realize making cinnamon rolls is any more involved than making cupcakes, and everyone can make cupcakes.
>>19778709
>soufflé
>it's just eggs
I think that's how most people view it, not realizing the dish can be a complete failure if not done right.
>>19778737
People who don't cook will smell garlic and olive oil in a hot pan and think you're a master chef. Throw in seafood and it can be mind-blowing...so yeah, I guess that's a good one.
>>19779974
Normies don't have any idea how stock is made or even used. They think of it as something you buy in a carton.
>>19780625
>tarte tatin
Probably the best one in the thread.
>>19780658
>risotto
Takes more skill to do well than you seem to think.

Bring your own bag, but only one of them; that's the maximum amount of decent items they sell at Trader Joes.
Go late.
Go slightly intoxicated.
Avoid snacks and prepared foods.
The main draw is canned and frozen food.
Don't fall for their seemingly reasonable alcohol prices; 2 buck chuck hasn't been a thing for 20 years and the rest of their booze followed suit.
Don't browse.
You don't have kids; stop looking at products designed for kids.
Walk fast and with determination, and keep your head down.
Be polite at the checkout, but do not make direct eye contact or answer questions with complete sentences.
Park at the far end of the parking lot for a quick getaway.

>are vegetable oils the new msg
Yes. That’s actually a perfect analogy for all this nonsense that’s been flooding /ck/ for the past few months. Just like with MSG, some literal who Karen made some baseless claim about, “[ubiquitous ingredient we’ve all been eating our entire lives] is suddenly le bad!!!”, and just like with MSG it was complete bullshit pulled out of thin air. Of course the seed oil nonsense is a combination of alt-right online garbage posting/bro-science; but we all know that /pol/-types are today’s Karens.

Hot sauce isn't really ridiculed. It just seems that way on /ck/ because some schizo spent a couple years spamming soyjaks in every thread trying to force a meme. There's also a ton of yuros and 'strayans who watch way too much American youtube and don't seem to understand that shitty clickbait is not the same as real life.

IPA is a little more complicated. It's true that something like 25-30% of the population legitimately just doesn't like the taste of hop forward beers, but everyone recognizes that and it's really not a big deal. And yuros only recently started importing the style, which in addition to having a piss poor range of things to try grates completely against their palate, which was raised primarily on lagers. But the main people ridiculing IPAs are Americans shitting on other Americans, which is for the most part just another extension of the culture war bullshit. (IPA shitposting probably went up 500% in 2016, despite the fact that the "IPA craze" had pretty much died out by then.) Most rural, conservative anons grew up with macro lagers being a symbol of authenticity, and view "craft" beer as some shitty coastie thing trying to ruin their way of life; it's basically a form of picky eating reinforced by an outdated notion of manliness (yes, the irony is palpable - but most of these people have no sense of irony whatsoever).

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually good:
>secret aardvark
>japanese fuzzy logic rice cookers
>sous vide immersion circulators
>angry grandma sauce
>maangchi
>ipa
>taco bell
>michelin starred restaurants
>alcoholism
>liverwurst
>anchovy pizza
>sardines
>medium-rare burgers
>cottage cheese
>sprouts
>enameled cast iron dutch ovens

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually terrible, and only posted ironically:
>monster energy drinks
>chili without beans
>mcchicken
>veganism
>instapot
>keto
>not tipping
>jack
>mre's
>indomie
>detroit style pizza
>crispy fried eggs
>smashburgers
>killer dave’s bread

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually good:
>secret aardvark
>japanese fuzzy logic rice cookers
>sous vide immersion circulators
>angry grandma sauce
>maangchi
>ipa
>taco bell
>michelin starred restaurants
>alcoholism
>liverwurst
>anchovy pizza
>sardines
>medium-rare burgers
>cottage cheese
>sprouts
>enameled cast iron dutch ovens

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually terrible, and only posted ironically:
>monster energy drinks
>chili without beans
>mcchicken
>veganism
>instapot
>keto
>not tipping
>jack
>mre's
>indomie
>detroit style pizza
>crispy fried eggs
>smashburgers
>killer dave’s bread

>he's a picky eater (refuses to eat any common ingredient such as tomatoes, olives, pickles, onions, any seafood, any specific vegetable, etc.)
>he wont eat a burger that isn't cooked well-done, or says his favorite burger is from a fast food restaurant or is a "smash" burger
>he drinks milk
>he complains that there's too many IPAs on tap and not enough lagers
>he regularly drinks soda or energy drinks
>he meal preps
>he thinks tofu is a meat substitute
>he always orders crab rangoon at the chinese place
>he eats instant ramen but drains the broth
>he doesn't like avocados
>he says he's "gluten intolerant" or "keto"
>he can't use chopsticks
>he wont drink hard alcohol unless it's in a mixed drink
>he thinks he makes better food than professional restaurant cooks
>he always picks chicken when given a choice of proteins
>he always picks chicken breast when there's a choice of chicken
>he complains about words such as "protein", "umami", or "mouthfeel"
>he wont shut up about how much protein he needs
>he's afraid of "seed" oils

>>18358783
They were briefly a thing like 3 or 4 years ago. The thing is a lot of people first come to /ck/ when they first move out and have to cook for themselves for the first time - which is just about the dumbest thing you can do. Since nobody here wants to help beginners who ask the same general questions, and usually go on about how they REQUIRE a million proteins a day but are also extremely POOR, they often turn to the worst possible threads like the /fit/ crossposts about bro science, the webm threads (which exist in a different universe from everything regularly talked about on this board), or the e-celeb threads. Most of the e-celeb threads are posted ironically, but new anons don't realize this, so they actually follow their shitty meme recipes, and because they can't cook they don't know they're following shitty meme recipes. Fast forward to a few years later and here we are. The zoomer's first burger was a smash burger that Babish told him was the best thing ever and he has an emotional attachment to it because it was his first, and will now defend it to the ends of the earth.

Beef tallow > Vegetable oil (corn, soy, canola) >>> Sheep's fat >>> Mustard Oil >>>>> Clarified butter >>>>>>>>>> Butter >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Oven baked >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Air Fryer

>>18218877
You must be insufferable to deal with if a small business saying "please do this" makes you feel insulted. They don't effect you, apparently, so why would the staff give you any trouble?

>>18030976
I don't respond to frogposters

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually good:
>secret aardvark
>japanese fuzzy logic rice cookers
>sous vide immersion circulators
>angry grandma sauce
>maangchi
>ipa
>taco bell
>michelin starred restaurants
>alcoholism
>liverwurst
>anchovy pizza
>sardines
>cottage cheese
>sprouts
>enameled cast iron dutch ovens

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually terrible, and only posted ironically:
>monster energy drinks
>chili without beans
>mcchicken
>veganism
>instapot
>keto
>not tipping
>jack
>mre's
>indomie
>detroit style pizza
>crispy fried eggs
>smashburgers
>killer dave’s bread

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually good:
>secret aardvark
>japanese fuzzy logic rice cookers
>sous vide immersion circulators
>angry grandma sauce
>maangchi
>ipa
>taco bell
>michelin starred restaurants
>alcoholism
>liverwurst
>anchovy pizza
>sardines
>cottage cheese
>sprouts
>enameled cast iron dutch ovens

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually terrible, and only posted ironically:
>monster energy drinks
>chili without beans
>mcchicken
>veganism
>instapot
>keto
>not tipping
>jack
>mre's
>indomie
>detroit style pizza
>crispy fried eggs
>smashburgers
>killer dave’s bread

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually good:
>secret aardvark
>japanese fuzzy logic rice cookers
>sous vide immersion circulators
>angry grandma sauce
>maangchi
>ipa
>taco bell
>michelin starred restaurants
>alcoholism
>liverwurst
>anchovy pizza
>sardines
>cottage cheese
>sprouts
>enameled cast iron dutch ovens

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually terrible, and only posted ironically:
>monster energy drinks
>chili without beans
>mcchicken
>veganism
>instapot
>keto
>not tipping
>jack
>mre's
>indomie
>detroit style pizza
>crispy fried eggs
>smashburgers
>killer dave’s bread

>>17257522
>I was told IPAs are disgusting
lol, where did you hear that? Did it happen to be on 4chan? Where everyone is just contrarian for the sake of being contrarian? There's a reason it's one of the most popular styles, and beloved by both brewers and beer enjoyers. It's basically the purest form of beer, pushing the 4 ingredients of the Reinheitsgebot as far as they can go without doing anything weird or artificial to get as much flavor and balance as possible in a simple beer. If you don't like IPAs you don't like beer. Simple as.

>>16580057
Protip: look how shaky the knife is. This is obviously some drunk line cook trying to make a dumb meme. All this tick tock shit is staged. If I wanted to recreate this (fucking why?) I'd take a white water balloon, separate an egg, carefully place the yolk into the balloon, whip up the white with enough water to fill the balloon up to egg size, "poach" it, "season" it, place it over some stupid avocado toast, making sure to hide the seam, and then pop it with a serrated knife, conveniently just missing the yolk. Wala. Stop posting garbage like this.

It's been well established that /ck/ is generally in better shape than /fit/. We're canonically an older, more well adjusted board, compared to /fit/, which is fat 20 year old's looking for misguided inspiration to get their life together/get laid.

Pecan = almond > pistachio > macadamia > walnut > hazelnut > pecan > peanut > brazil

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually good:
>secret aardvark
>japanese fuzzy logic rice cookers
>sous vide immersion circulators
>angry grandma sauce
>maangchi
>ipa
>taco bell
>michelin starred restaurants
>alcoholism
>liverwurst
>anchovy pizza
>sardines
>cottage cheese
>sprouts
>enameled cast iron dutch ovens

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually terrible, and only posted ironically:
>monster energy drinks
>chili without beans
>mcchicken
>veganism
>instapot
>keto
>not tipping
>jack
>mre's
>indomie
>detroit style pizza
>crispy fried eggs
>smashburgers
>killer dave’s bread

>>15496900
Things that /ck/ memes that are actually good:
>secret aardvark
>japanese fuzzy logic rice cookers
>sous vide immersion circulators
>angry grandma sauce
>maangchi
>ipa
>taco bell
>michelin starred restaurants
>alcoholism
>liverwurst
>anchovy pizza
>sardines
>cottage cheese
>sprouts
>enameled cast iron dutch ovens

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually terrible, and only posted ironically:
>monster energy drinks
>chili without beans
>mcchicken
>veganism
>instapot
>keto
>not tipping
>jack
>mre's
>indomie
>detroit style pizza
>crispy fried eggs
>smashburgers
>killer dave’s bread
>sweet baby ray’s

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually good:
>secret aardvark
>japanese fuzzy logic rice cookers
>sous vide immersion circulators
>angry grandma sauce
>maangchi
>ipa
>taco bell
>michelin starred restaurants
>alcoholism
>liverwurst
>anchovy pizza
>sardines
>cottage cheese
>sprouts
>enameled cast iron dutch ovens

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually terrible, and only posted ironically:
>monster energy drinks
>chili without beans
>mcchicken
>veganism
>instapot
>keto
>not tipping
>jack
>mre's
>indomie
>detroit style pizza
>crispy fried eggs
>smashburgers
>killer dave’s bread
>sweet baby ray’s

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually good:
>secret aardvark
>japanese fuzzy logic rice cookers
>sous vide immersion circulators
>angry grandma sauce
>maangchi
>ipa
>taco bell
>michelin starred restaurants
>alcoholism
>liverwurst
>anchovy pizza
>sardines
>cottage cheese
>sprouts
>enameled cast iron dutch ovens

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually terrible, and only posted ironically:
>monster energy drinks
>chili without beans
>mcchicken
>veganism
>instapot
>keto
>not tipping
>jack
>mre's
>indomie
>detroit style pizza
>crispy fried eggs
>smashburgers
>killer dave’s bread
>sweet baby ray’s

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually good:
>secret aardvark
>japanese fuzzy logic rice cookers
>sous vide immersion circulators
>angry grandma sauce
>maangchi
>ipa
>taco bell
>michelin starred restaurants
>alcoholism
>liverwurst
>anchovy pizza
>sardines
>cottage cheese
>sprouts
>enameled cast iron dutch ovens

Things that /ck/ memes that are actually terrible, and only posted ironically:
>monster energy drinks
>chili without beans
>mcchicken
>veganism
>instapot
>keto
>not tipping
>jack
>mre's
>indomie
>detroit style pizza
>crispy fried eggs
>smashburgers
>killer dave’s bread
>sweet baby ray’s