/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>steamed beef with cheese sauce, served on a meme stick

>>10174928
Why do you guys have to ban me for life from ever visiting since I have dui convictions?

>>9997120
This is the greatest image of a sad photoshopped cat sat on a pizza that I’ve seen for weeks

Those of you with partners, do they complain about you making noise when you sleep? Staying with a friend atm, and apparently I go batshit. Thrashing around, pouring with sweat and shouting/screaming. No wonder I’m always so tired. And that my bed sometimes moves like 2ft across the floor as I sleep.

>miss ex, remember times together
>used to hate it when I’d pull duvet over our heads and hold her down while farting, she’d gag and be furious for all of ten mins
>wake before her one morning
>have hilarious idea
>smug in my brilliance, execute plan immediately
>place ass centimetres from her face, cheeks wide
>close as possible. Squatted over her. Ass pipe is practically kissing her nose tip
>all set. Let’s do this
> begin screaming at top of my lungs to wake her. As soon as I feel her moving, begin clamping colon muscles together. An epic fart is imminent. This will be great. We’re such a goofy, mischievous, edgy couple. We’ll tell our grandkids about this hilarity
>rumble from stomach. My eyes explode open as I realise what’s about to happen
>there’s nothing I can do, I’m past the point no return
>fractions of a second feel like hours. I’m powerless now, the trigger has been pulled. Giggling in my head stops, gravity of situation sinking in
>now so distressed that I’ve given up hope, simply stay there motionless and meditative, this is in god’s hands now
>feel something hit ass, hear laboured breathing, a struggle has begun
>despondently move gaze downward, hyper awkward expression on face is set in stone, tsunami of feels incoming
>a shitblinking, near-screaming, gagging little qt is now rolling around, exploring the bizarre world into which sleep has taken her
>confusion swiftly turns to fury as she concludes that there’s a chance the kilos of stinking, hot, brown bowelporridge liberally coating her face, hair, clothes and bedding might have something to do with the alcoholic whose shitchute is hovering above, dripping with liquishit
>world goes into silent slow motion as the implications hit home
>trancewalk to clothes, dress, all on autopilot as I ponder my future. Walk out of door, walk covered in shit to shop, buy all the alcohol, get hotel, can’t go back
>later that night she’s gone.
>16 months later post this

>when you realise that other boards have spilled into and ruined al/ck/, so next time you’re feeling the anxiety of withdrawal, you won’t even have this place to turn to
State of these threads recently

>>9557657
>>9557668
RIP

>>9333740
>tfw in a few hours and 1 minute it'll be gone and you'll be back in hell
The alcohol is ALWAYS gone

Reminder, just for my peace of mind, that the quantities of alcohol people in these threads consume, would kill the average person in hours, and that with spirits, it is very easy to overdo it without realising you've done so.
Furthermore, take note that almost without exception, everyone here is desperate to stop.
This is not a glamorous lifestyle, you will ruin not just your life but the lives of those you love.
Drink if you must, but treat the danger these threads present with the respect they deserve, and drink slllooowwlllyyy, allow your body to react to your last drink before taking another. Try drinking a whole bottle of Smirnoff without years of tolerance? You'll likely die. It doesn't take much.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/16-year-old-girl-died-9864006
It takes years, decades sometimes, to end up drinking as much as al/ck/, and you'll regret it if you end up like us. You really do not want to go down this path. Do not fucking underestimate how unpleasant this shit can become.

>>9225262
Same. My entire large intestine is ruined by ulcerative colitis. Chances of cancer are substantial. Thanks alcohol.

>>9154846
Anon I don't know what to tell you.
I wish you both the absolute best.