/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I have two:

>Be me, making pizza
>Love to make one with pesto, bacon, fresh mozz, tomato and chicken breast
>chicken breast is always subvert when I make this pizza
>have the brilliant idea to purposely undercook the chicken so it will finish cooking in the oven
>Hold undercooked chicken at room temp while I prep the rest of the ingredients
>Eat pizza, have a few drinks and go to bed
>Take sleeping pills because of insomnia
>Wake up later violently ill
>Worst food poisoning of my life
>Explosive diarrhea and vomit alternating
>Half asleep because of the pills
>Spend 8 hours in a half dreamlike waking nightmare off shit and vomit

Couldn't eat pesto or bacon for years after that. Somehow chicken breast was fine. A bonus from a few weeks ago. Not me, but my gf

>Be me, just got home from work
>Gf is making chili and cornbread
>Chili is good (I made it and froze it, she just reheated it) but corn muffins look weird
>They are white for some reason
>have her the simplest possible recipe w equal parts Bisquick and corn meal
>She couldn't find the cornmeal and somehow thought cornstarch would be an acceptable substitute
>Corn muffins inedible

I love her but she's a retard when it comes to cooking. I swear, I can't even fathom what kind of cartoon character logic would lead to this logic. It would almost be cute but she's 35

>>15721001
>everyone falling for the bait

>>14244078
lemme guess, you're a single guy living alone