/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15648514
>be me
>drink coffee all the time
>like all the time
>it's so good, it's amazing
>get cravings, drink coffee, cravings go away life is good
>except for one problem
>I have to put up with the cravings after 3 PM or else I don't ever sleep
>go to 4chan to spread my misery
>random anon tells me to buy decaf
Wut.
>research the word "decaf"
>it's short for "decaffeinated" meaning it won't keep me awake at night
>l no longer drink water, beer, milk, anything
>only coffee
>put on a smug face on my 4:30 PM conference calls as I sip my espresso on camera
>"hey, anon, you need to slow down or else you'll be up all night"
>jackpot.png
>hold silent for dramatic effect while I put down my cup on its matching dish and lean back in my chair, with my hands behind my head in a display of dominance
>"it's decaf"