/ck/ - Food & Cooking

My grandfather insists on calling rolled oats 'Rude Oats' and using it as a platform to attack my grandmother.

>Has rolled oats for breakfast every morning
>takes the bowls
>'Hey Marge, these ROLLED OATS are actually Rude oats!'
>does an 'oatmeal voice' that sounds like John Wayne
>'Wow Marge, they should call you Homer fatty'
>'Marge I don't know what you did to me but I taste like shit'
>'Marge, Oats should be creamy, but you used your dried up haggard breast milk in me'

My grandmother basically cries once a day because of this shit, fucking old cunt

My only girlfriend ever was 420lbs
She broke up with me because I refused to steal food from a childs plate at a restaurant. The child was in the toilet with his parents because he was being sick and she couldn't reach his spaghetti so asked me to scoop it into her handbag before we left. I refused and after trying to reach for 5 minutes she struggled up and scooted out then texted me 'we're finished because you never support me'

I would never break someones heart over food.