/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>Excuse me, miss? I asked for hot sauce. Yes, I can see you’ve brought the condiment holder. Yes, I can see there is a bottle of tabasco and a bottle of cholula in it. No, these are not hot sauces. I would expect someone in the restaurant industry be able to tell the difference between hot sauce and dressed-up vinegar. Hot sauce, do you have any on the premises? Check with your chef, it’s fine, I can wait. An example of what I’d be looking for? Well, I’m sure even the most modest of establishments will have a bottle of Professor Poopenfire’s Sphincter Scorcher, but as I was greeted with more than a series of grunts and howls when I walked in I would expect nothing less than Satan’s Taint Sweat Carolina Reaper Deluxe. Do you need to write this down? It’s just that you seem a little dismissive. No, the Jalapeño Bacon and Buffalo Chicken Mac and Cheese is fine, and by “fine” I mean that it’s edible. But I need to elevate it with the proper sauce. As you can see, my eyes are not watering and my glass of milk sits untouched. Hot sauce, miss. I require hot sauce.