/ck/ - Food & Cooking

step aside, gay cucks. It's time to stop watching a black guy buttfuck your male wife and get a real sauce. Behold:

https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Aardvark-Habanero-Sauce-Net/dp/B00AIR3Q38

>>10943316
lol nothin personnel kid, but you should leave habañeros to the real hot sauce niggas

>>10885240
Gimme gimme varky cummies
Be they spicy or very nummies.
Spend my hard-earned good-hubby points,
on hipster Portland hot sauce joints.
Wifey's bull lifts me to the car,
To find me varkies near and far.
Enjoy my tasty varky treats,
in comfy Prius heated seats.
Drunk Jerk, Black Bean, Mayo, Hab,
But of my varkies none I have.

She always makes me prep our bull,
But prepping doesn't make me full.
Varkies are the only food,
That puts me in the fapping mood.
I'll dream and doubt but make no fuss,
I'll wish, I'll want, but I won't cuss!
Varkies are my heart's desire,
Fueled by burning, hungry fire.
Wifey cums and wails real hard,
But Tyrone's cum isn't 'vark nor Aard'.

My good-hubby points were fairly earned,
To buy the varkies that I've yearned.
But there's no varkies on my plate!
Did wifey think that I'd just ate?
"VARKIES, VARKIES I NEED THEM NOW,
IT IS VARKIES I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!"
I cry while looking into her eyes,
While Tyrone hits me to no surprise.
For he who is un-varked is he who understands:
Never forget to shine his new Air Jordans

>>10866726
I once found a bottle of the ole' vark at my local grocery chain (wal-mart). I was surprised such an exotic item would be at MY local part of the woods, so I figured why not!

Now let me tell you bois, when I was in my car with my bag of all different varieties of 'vark (i didn't end up getting anything else, had to go back the next day), I couldn't think of anything else but tearing into one of these bad bois. I had the habanero variety, but i thought these would be much too hot! So I settled on a milder one, and it even came in a yellow bottle! Now I'm not ashamed too admit I was horny as fuck the second one drop touched my tongue. It was honestly the best thing I ever tasted. I proceeded to drink 2 bottles of the liquid gold right there in the parking lot. Heaven.

Now its about this time my erection is starting to become an annoyance. Its raging fever hadn't subsided through any of this, starting the moment I saw so many bottles on the shelf (and that mascot is pretty arousing himself). I'm pretty sure the cashier calle d security on me because I was wearing athletic shorts and had a rager LMAO

Okay so here is where things got a little weird. I had to take care of this 'vark boner, so i pulled out behind my local grocery stop and tried to get in a spot where no one could see me (there wasn't one exactly), so I made due best as I could. I pulled my 'vark out and saw he needed tamed. I pulled out a bottle of the habenaro sauce, and I poured it all over my hand and cock. I then proceeded to have the most magical orgasm of my entire life. I'm not kidding, I had second degree burns inside my urethra but I would do it again in a heartbeat (and I will). But I happened to be next to what I assume was an employee exit because a couple girls were smoking outside and staring at me through this process. I had skedaddle, knowing that if I was aprehended by some pig they would probably take my vark as evidence

>>10837480
Gimme gimme varky cummies
Be they spicy or very nummies.
Spend my hard-earned good-hubby points,
on hipster Portland hot sauce joints.
Wifey's bull lifts me to the car,
To find me varkies near and far.
Enjoy my tasty varky treats,
in comfy Prius heated seats.
Drunk Jerk, Black Bean, Mayo, Hab,
But of my varkies none I have.

She always makes me prep our bull,
But prepping doesn't make me full.
Varkies are the only food,
That puts me in the fapping mood.
I'll dream and doubt but make no fuss,
I'll wish, I'll want, but I won't cuss!
Varkies are my heart's desire,
Fueled by burning, hungry fire.
Wifey cums and wails real hard,
But Tyrone's cum isn't 'vark nor Aard'.

My good-hubby points were fairly earned,
To buy the varkies that I've yearned.
But there's no varkies on my plate!
Did wifey think that I'd just ate?
"VARKIES, VARKIES I NEED THEM NOW,
IT IS VARKIES I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!"
I cry while looking into her eyes,
While Tyrone hits me to no surprise.
For he who is un-varked is he who understands:
Never forget to shine his new Air Jordans

>>10833998
Gimme gimme varky cummies
Be they spicy or very nummies.
Spend my hard-earned good-hubby points,
on hipster Portland hot sauce joints.
Wifey's bull lifts me to the car,
To find me varkies near and far.
Enjoy my tasty varky treats,
in comfy Prius heated seats.
Drunk Jerk, Black Bean, Mayo, Hab,
But of my varkies none I have.

She always makes me prep our bull,
But prepping doesn't make me full.
Varkies are the only food,
That puts me in the fapping mood.
I'll dream and doubt but make no fuss,
I'll wish, I'll want, but I won't cuss!
Varkies are my heart's desire,
Fueled by burning, hungry fire.
Wifey cums and wails real hard,
But Tyrone's cum isn't 'vark nor Aard'.

My good-hubby points were fairly earned,
To buy the varkies that I've yearned.
But there's no varkies on my plate!
Did wifey think that I'd just ate?
"VARKIES, VARKIES I NEED THEM NOW,
IT IS VARKIES I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!"
I cry while looking into her eyes,
While Tyrone hits me to no surprise.
For he who is un-varked is he who understands:
Never forget to shine his new Air Jordans

>>10824796
the feel of those whips and chains, and the excruciating psychological pain I enjoy watching Jarome bang my wife Stacy is second only to the fiery agony and inferno pleasure I experience when I consume that 'vark. We 'varkers are a rare breed, true hardcore masochist thrill seekers

can you handle the heat of 100% habeñeros?