/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19319621
>every pristine unopened bottle of Secret Aardvark could be traded for ten, no TWENTY child brides, if our sauce-femoid equivalency matrix is correct.

The trick to eating shitty food at a gathering is to immediately be the first person to exclaim "I want some!" take a modest but not insulting portion then get a drink (preferably beer but anything even water will do) and scarf down as fast as you can. Take a bite and if you can't find any saliva in your mouth to swallow it...that's where the beer comes in.
Trick worked brilliantly for me at a lad's birthday bash a few months back. His bird over-burned the chicken and waffles but a couple brews and I was the first one to finish "Oh no, I'm saving room for the birthday cake" while the sad people across the table had to eat in front of me while I discussed the intricacies of poker strategy with my mates over my empty plate