/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I have two basic mixes, one disgusting healthy drink, and one fancy drink:

Topical Blue Fuck You
>Do you like to get drunk on a budget? Are you a little bitch who hates alcohol? This shit right here will get you so sauced you need a fucking wheelchair to find the pisser.
Ice
1 part Gin
2 parts blue Hawaiian Punch
Serve with a bendy straw in a jug.

Canadian Vanillia Clusterfuck
>created in a lab by drunken morons, this shit right here has some sort of provocative allure designed to make bitches naked. Tastes just like vanilla Dr pepper, with a whole serving of remorse.
Diet Dr Pepper
40 Creek Whiskey
Leave both to chill in a snowbank, pour into a red Solo cup like a sloshy drunken mess.

ANGRY UNCLE IVAN
>Did you run out of mix? Are you some weird fucking health nut? Perfect, we getting you drunk AND your macros. Swap vodka with gin for a Angry Uncle Bertrand.
2 30g Scoops of Vanilla Protein Powder
1 10g scoop of Daily Cleanse Fiber
Frozen avocado, mango, mixed berries, just eyeball it
1 fresh banana
1 fresh lime
1 scoop watermelon BCAA powder
Dash of cayane pepper
4 fingers of Vodka
Fill an entire blender, blend until the consistency of cake batter is achieved, then drink it straight from the blender you goddamned animal.

Jeffery's Lament
>Named after the asshole who created it, this drink is pretty snazzy. Described as if a sugar coated tongue licked the inside of your mouth, then slapped you in the face.
1 ice cube
1 part bourbon
1 part tonic
Dash of bitters
Maple syrup
Cinnamon
Honey crisp Apple Slice
1 part Lemoncello
In a short glass, put maple syrup below the ice with a dash of cinnamon so it starts to freeze. Combine the bourbon and the Lemoncello in a shaker with more ice and the tonic water, mix as desired. Pour mixture over ice, add bitters on top, garnish with apple slice.