/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9768017
I think sometimes it has less to do with an "alcoholism" gene and perhaps more to do with factors that would lead one to be drawn to alcohol as a way of coping.

In terms of my family, my father and my uncle on my mother's side were both alcoholics, and like me, both of them were always referred to by the rest of my family as "very intelligent".

And I sort of understand that. Everyone I know says they like me more when I've had a few drinks. And the reason is simply when I'm drunk I become dumber, to the point where it is easier to communicate with the average person because I'm no longer thinking about metaphysical philosophical crap about the nature of existence or reality. My mental processes shift from a more rationality oriented mode of operation to a more emotionally oriented mode.

And this is sad, because I can see why my father drank himself to death, and why my uncle nearly did the same.

Sobriety is the same as loneliness. It is the kind of loneliness where even if you are surrounded by people you can't make that connection.

And alcohol is something that can enable that connection, but you can't be a functioning member of society and be drunk all the time. I seem to have a higher alcohol tolerance than most, but I know I won't last too long to be drinking at the level I need to be in that sweetspot between being an sober autist or a drunken degenerate.

I guess then there is the irony that because people like me more when I'm drunk, I drink to drown out the pain of not being loved for who I am when I'm sober.

/blogrant