/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9472657
Needs more Tabasco.

>be me in Silicon Valley in the 90's
>grab chicken burrito from food truck
>wake up at 4:00AM with desire to puke and crap all at once
>do both, but contrary to expectation relief is not forthcoming
>that afternoon, entire body aches
>drink water so I don't stand in a helpless U-shaped rictus and puke/crap nothing for three minutes at a time
>crap and puke lukewarm water instead every 10-15 minutes
>early that evening my body finally wrings out the last of whatever invaded it (prolly salmonella)
>try a little buttered toast and instant chicken soup
>turn on TV, see spotlight on road, man falls from the sky and goes SMACK in the middle of the spotlight
>sit and eat slowly and every time I giggle at Mr Bean, my entire torso hurts
>next morning, get up and look in the mirror and my eyes are both solid fucking red -- seriously, I look like Count Dracula
>flee to urgent care in the berserk fear that I will look like this for the rest of my life, or develop eyeball cancer or some shit
>doctor calmly explains that this is normal after violently heaving all day, and suggests a regimen of eye drops and yogurt
>never go near food trucks again

>>9452231
Remind them our Lord and his disciples guzzled wine on a regular basis and promise them you will never get falldown drunk and/or into hard likker.

>>8708902

More pepperoni. And mushrooms. And extra sauce.

>>8325332
I've been using a small Coleman cooler to make whole-grain beer in for years. No problemo; it's a common practice.

Now, my strike temp is 170 or so. How high are you cranking this thing up?

>>8093368
I guess that's what you use if you don't have a Dutch oven.

>>8085801
But... that's a good thing, if you consider the subject matter.

>>8085520
>SF/Bay area
The homeless bums pissing and panhandling everywhere detract something from the charm, anon.

And I do mean everywhere. Christ, the encampment next to the CalTrain tracks is what? Twenty miles long now?

No.

>>7927028
That wall just got ten feet higher.

>>7761687
>we are all fasting which means I can't eat during the day and it is causing me to fucking go crazy
That's because it's not fasting. It's binge-purge. Fuck only knows why your insane culture does this to itself.

>>7757615
>I admit upfront, american food was a bit disappointing. It was highly procesed, but mostly edible.
Uh... what part of the country were you in and what kind of food did you try?

>>7670149
Faggots are almost uniformly misogynists. This is news?

>>7221459
You're fucked, then.

>>7221679
/scribbles note

>>7221391
You shut your whore mouth.

>>7188267
You don't like roo? Here. Try something from closer to home.

This is where meat comes from, kid.

Butterfat with counteract some of that. Wash your hands in whole milk. Then show some fucking self discipline for the next day.

>>7185288
Nope. It's the stock that makes jambalaya.

>>7184344
Yes. Yes I do.

>>7184728
Get a cast iron dutch oven and some parchment paper and make some no-knead artisinal bread in it. The laziest goddam bachelor on the planet with zero cooking experience could manage it.

3 cups flour
1.5 cups lukewarm water
2 tsp salt
1 packet yeast

Mix and leave overnight.
Lay out parchment paper. Scatter half a cup of flour on it. Pour/scrape gooey hideous looking mass of dough onto it. Let it rise for half an hour more.
While you're waiting, preheat Dutch oven (DO NOT OIL UNLESS YOU WANT A KITCHEN FIRE) in 425 degree oven.
Take Dutch oven out, lift up parchment paper with dough, and set into Dutch oven. Scatter more flour on top. Clamp lid on top. Bake for half an hour, then take the lid off. Let it bake for 15-25 minutes more until top is nice and brown and has miniature crusty faultlines running all over it.
Dump bread out and let cool for at least an hour before tearing into the crusty chewy goodness. Cut into it too soon and all the steam will escape and leave you with bread-flavored closed cell foam.
No kneading, no washing except for the bowl you mixed it in, no nothing. And the results -- well, see for yourself. That was one of my prettier ones.

>>7183643
You shut your whore mouth.

>>7183612
Amen to the not touching yourself. Especially not sticking your pinky finger in your itchy ear. Jesus fuck I was in agony.

>>7183616
Overnight. Change the water. Soak again. Cook them and get them the consistency you like before you add any seasonings. They'll stop softening at that point -- no idea why.

>>7183602
If you're a poorfag, chili con carne is awesome. Just grab some dry beans, cover with an inch of water, soak overnight, pour off, let soak again so they still have some starch for thickening but you don't get the shits. Then fry up some cheapo beef, onions, etc. and add the beans plus a 99 cent can of maters. Salt and pepper and spice to taste. Throw in a whole hot pepper or three. Add a beer for fluid or tapwater if you don't. You just made a gigantic pot of bachelor food for under ten bucks.

For chips, cut up el cheapo corn tortillas and bake them in the oven at 400 degrees for 6-8 minutes. Easy peasy.