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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL


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9938252 No.9938252 [Reply] [Original]

Last thread is long gone.

What's up in your local comms? Are there a lot of summer children popping up? Any big meets planned??

>> No.9938256

Dutch comm is messy, old inactive mods left with a lot of drama and now talk shit about the community. the group also went down from 500+ to 180 members and some people who were still active got removed (on purpose??) so there is more drama on that too.

>> No.9938274

>>9938256
I heard a load of sissies were left into the Dutch comm, is that true or is someone just talking shit?

>> No.9938276

Michigan comm chill as usual. For a larger comm there's not much drama. Haven't been many good meets this summer, but someone just posted an occult tea party she's hosting this fall that sounds good. I couldn't find much on the hotel it's happening at though, so I guess we'll see...

>> No.9938289

>>9938274
i haven't heard this, i thought there was a rather strict screening process no?

>> No.9938298

>>9938256
This shows nobody knows how things really went down.

>> No.9938304

>>9938298
spill the t?

>> No.9938307

>>9938304
The remaining mods deleted their good bye post, realized over a 100 members had seen it and then undid it. Says enough right

>> No.9938308

>>9938307
Wow really? That's pretty shady..

>> No.9938314

>>9938307
Wow that is shady.. Why did the two mods leave? They weren't really active in the community, but to suddenly leave must have been a big step.

>> No.9938316

The London comm is fantastic. We're all really chill and openly talk about using /cgl/ and it's nice having a group where we can be bitches together.

>> No.9938318
File: 591 KB, 416x234, nice to say.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9938318

>>9938304
Yaaaaaasss

>> No.9938323

>>9938314
They were never inactive. I don't get why many this it the way it went. The mods left because they wanted their time spent differently, from what they posted.. I guess it was a shock for the mods who are left behind. It took them far to long to respond to this. I guess they even panicked and as a result deleted the goodbyepost. It was gone for a while. Then it came back.
So I guess there was a disagreement between the mods. Also since the new mods came things are being way more controlled, like too much (such as the "inactive" members being deleted) This clarifies it all for me..

>> No.9938336

>>9938323
I'm sorry but they were inactive.. I never saw them at meets or post anything. I have been in this fashion for a few years now and never even met them.

>> No.9938340

>>9938314
A girl with a mild mental disability was structurally ignored and excluded from meetings and people in the comm (including some of the mods) were just generally mean to her. Removing inactive/ghost/potentially problematic members from the group on such short notice seemed to basically be an easy way to get rid of that girl because she wouldn't be able to read the warning messages or respond to them in an adequate way on time. On top of that the mods posted a (probably well-meant but) pretty insensitive message about the girl on the group timeline. That's probably not all of it but desu I can see how shit like this can make other mods less eager to be part of that team, to say the least.

>> No.9938342

>>9938336
I disagree. That YOU never met them doesn't mean they were inactive. And they did post frequently, also hosted meetings. But in any case. I don't think this is mostly a mod job, anyone can host anything.

>> No.9938343

>>9938323
They were shady on Facebook posts though, how the community has gone too shit etc, so they didn't just leave because they wanted to spend their time differently.

>> No.9938344

>>9938340
Plus looking from a post made by another member it took longer than needed to accept one of the ex-mods who wanted to be a member again..

>> No.9938345

>>9938336
Not to pick a fight or anything, but these girls basically built this comm for you. If you don't know them or have never met them you have not been into the fashion for yearrrrs. Respect your elders babe, they went through some shit for your high teas.

>> No.9938346

>>9938340
the girl commented on the ghost members post though, so she was not removed. they played by the rules for that, have to give them that.

>> No.9938347

>>9938340
Yea I even saw how one of the older members said she didn't like their use of terms about the girl and then they deleted that aswel. They like deleting.

>> No.9938348

>>9938344
I saw that post too, but desu, I didn't recognize the profile as the one from the ex-mod either, different name and no indication it was her from photos.

>> No.9938349

>>9938346
Lol no. They deleted other active members. They even apologized for doing so. So I don't give them shit.

>> No.9938353

>>9938348
But one of the other ex-mods knew who she was. I guess the member in question also clarified this through the acceptance policy..

>> No.9938355

>>9938345
I said a few years, but ok. I never met them and I met the other mods, all I was saying.

>> No.9938358

>>9938316
Seconded, fellow comm member. But some people are a bit edgy about their cgl/lolcow use. We get it, you use the internet. Now pipe down.

>> No.9938359

>>9938323
I think the newer mods took so long to respond because they had no idea that the other two were going to leave so they were taken by surprise. There wasn't really an explanation either and the message felt very passive agressive to me. It basically said
>we have better things to do with our time lol byeee

It seems like there's been a lot of miscommunication going on lately.

>>9938336
One was kind of active and I liked her. The other was inactive though and even if she did come to meetups she'd completely ignore anyone she wasn't already friends with, so I won't miss her or even notice she's gone honestly.

>> No.9938362

>>9938359
The goodbye message was super passive aggressive, people could clearly tell something was not well.

>> No.9938365

>>9938359
there is just one mod who does the acceptance thing, it's not to hard of a job to do when you're not falsely deleting posts of the mods who left.

Second: I think there is an atmosphere where they couldn't really speak openly and yes, looking at how the left-over mods coped with their leaving I can very well imagine why they were like "good riddance". Just like they gave the ex mod re-applying they probably did aswell to the mods who left. I mean, why else would you leave a comm like that when you've been mods for years. There is way more to it.

>> No.9938369

>>9938365
how do you know there is only one mod doing that?? Sounds like you are one of the ex mods.

>> No.9938371

>>9938359
They don't seem like the people to just up and leave like that though.. So there must've been more to it. Considering how the other mods are handling it, I bet it's rather big. Especially with what anon said about the post being temporarily deleted.

I did see them open a lot of posts.. Though I must say that the others reacted on posts more. So I think they looked like they didn't post a lot because the others reacted more, when they actually were pretty active in posting new topics. If that makes sense?

>> No.9938372

>>9938369
Do you even know your shit? It literally says on their info page :').

>> No.9938374

>>9938371
My guess is they want to take the attention of the drama away.

>> No.9938375

>>9938371
They made new posts to “bury” other topics like the goodbye post

>> No.9938379

>>9938365
Are you saying that the mod team was so dysfunctional that two of them felt that they couldn't even tell the others that they were going to leave?

Personally I've felt for a while that the old mods' friend group created an atmosphere in the comm where I didn't feel comfortable posting in discussion topics, because the same few people would always show up to tell us how much the comm sucks now and that today's lolitas are elitist bullies.

I know from lurking cgl for years that community splits generally aren't a good thing, but I still feel like there are two opposing camps in our comm, one group who likes the current comm and one who thinks it's awful and toxic. And maybe everyone would be happier if we went separate ways.

>> No.9938380

>>9938374
I think if the two mods left as a surprise, that is super shady towards the current mods.

>> No.9938382

>>9938379
No not really saying that... actually :) Just saying that there was probably no room for them being a "mod" and express what they felt. It all comes down to the sitch with the mild mentally disabled girl again.

>> No.9938385

>>9938380
Nah they had it coming

>> No.9938386

>>9938385
you seem to dislike the current mods a lot. Any reason for that except the current drama?

>> No.9938387

>>9938380
Well, seeing as though they both were mods for a long time I don't think they would leave like that without a good reason.

>> No.9938388

>>9938386
Well all you can read here gives enough reason.

>> No.9938389

>>9938382
If this is all about the disabled girl, then it is very much an overreaction.

>> No.9938390

>>9938389
in your opinion, yes.

>> No.9938391

>>9938382
The old hags should all leave the community

>> No.9938392

>>9938336
I've only been to very few meets in the past 3 years and I met both of the mods who left. You don't have to be visible everywhere ALL the time to be a decent mod. I agree some members are more active than they were, but those members are probably still in school so they have more time (and by them I mean you).

>> No.9938393

>>9938389
Depends.. And just like with other every day things, usually people's reaction is a combination of different influences. Saying it's just one thing is probably wrong. If it's just one thing it'd be a little weak

>> No.9938394

>>9938391
Sounds like propaganda

>> No.9938395

>>9938389
Not anon but they actually made a post on the group's fb wall calling the girl's behaviour 'scary' and 'difficult to deal with', stating her FULL NAME and everything. This is a girl with a very slight disability who's a tiny bit socially awkward at times. The way the mods were singling her out like that was pretty nasty

>> No.9938396

>>9938391
cute false flag

>> No.9938397

>>9938391
why tho?

>> No.9938400

>>9938392
I agree.. I mean life's busy enough as it is.. And they were a lot older right? I bet those school bills need to be paid lol

>> No.9938401

>>9938395
I think the post was made by all mods, at least it was signed like that. If they disagreed with it, they should have said that.

>> No.9938404

>>9938401
Wow you make life so easy.

>> No.9938408

>>9938401 maybe they did and when they didn't listen they left? Might be a good reason.. Thanks anon! That might be cleared a lot up for me! So many possibilities ha!

>> No.9938412

>>9938395
Do you have screenshots of this? Without her name of course

>> No.9938419

>>9938412
Just apply if you wanna see it.

>> No.9938423

>>9938419
If they let you in that is

>> No.9938424

Didn't two Dutch mods leave last year as well? Your comm is a mess lmao

>> No.9938431

>>9938424
yes and since then it is super messy lol

>> No.9938435

>>9938386
I haven't met all of the current mods so I won't say I dislike them, but it's so shady that they turned off comments on the ''goodbye post'' without giving a reason. There wasn't even any drama in the comment section, just people saying thank you and asking what happened. Did they delete comments?

>> No.9938440

>>9938424
Yes, and both of them were active, but at that time a few people (probably the same ones) complained about them not being active enough too. They actually deleted one of the ex-mods from last year in the ''ghost members purge''.

>> No.9938447

>>9938395

Actually, what they said is "We understand very well that someone with a disability can be a bit scary to speak at meetings themselves", AND after that, they shared a guideline that this girl gave to them in order to make everyone's life easier in the comm.

I've been at different meets in which this girl was present, talked to her and everything, and nothing bad or uncomfortable happened. She's super nice and as long as you talk to her quietly and clearly, everything's fine.

What I've also seen is people bitchin' about her even before a meet starts, walking faster so they don't have to walk along with her and ignoring her during conversations. THAT'S shameful and disrespectful towards her, and all the comm should think about this 'primary school' behaviour.

I understand that not everybody can be friends and that when you first meet a person with a disability it can be difficult or even scary to approach them if you're not mature enough to deal with this type of situations, but at least let's treat each other with respect (yeah it's funny to say this on /cgl/ but anyway).

>> No.9938455

>>9938447

With all this what I wanna say is that this has been treated not in the most adequate way, neither the other mods leaving.

>> No.9938462

>>9938340
Which ones were mean to her? I don't want to make assumptions about people but the person who made the post revealing her name and everything, sounds pretty negative about her. I'm not sure if those are her words or the mod team wrote them together. I used to get along really well with some comm members but I dropped them when they gossiped about the ''disabled'' girl to me. They didn't realise my mother has a similar disorder.

>> No.9938470

>>9938462 damn girl, that's harsh. You did good!

>> No.9938478

>>9938447
>what they said is "We understand very well that someone with a disability can be a bit scary to speak at meetings themselves"
You need to re-read the post. They wrote: ''We understand really well that someone with a disorder is a bit scary to talk to at a meet-up. Someone commented with ''thanks for saying this so I can be careful with her when I see her posts''.

The mods should have made a general post with guidelines instead of naming her and tagging her in the post (she explicitly told the mods not to name her).

>> No.9938483

>>9938462

You did well, girl.

>> No.9938485

>>9938478
Especially considering most of the guidelines are just common decency. The only important information we got from it was that she voice messages when she can't type.

>> No.9938489

>>9938478
Never got to that comment, but thanks; now I know who I shouldn't speak during meets.

And as I said under my first comment, the mods didn't handle any of this well, same with the other two mods.

>> No.9938497
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9938497

I want to host more meets for my comm this summer, so I have some general questions.

>What was your favorite meet?

>Do you like themed meets or general?

>What can a host do to make a meet more fun?

>Favorite ice breaker games?

>Best thing you ever got in a goodie bag?

>> No.9938503

>>9938497
>>What was your favorite meet?
To me it depends a lot more on the atmosphere than the place. I don't like it when you sit down at the same place for the entire meet because that way you only get to talk to the people next to you.
>>Do you like themed meets or general?
I love themed meets.
>>What can a host do to make a meet more fun?
Socialize with the people who don't seem to have their own friends
>>Favorite ice breaker games?
I don't know any
>>Best thing you ever got in a goodie bag?
I don't think a goodie bag is necessary

>> No.9938982

>>9938276
It was hosted there two years ago. It was excellent though anon. I didn't get wine, but the lady serving gave extremely generous amounts and a lot of us carpooled there since it was so far. Also friend who requested gluten free received a huge platter and had leftovers to bring home. I'm not sure if they had expected more people to be gluten free or what even though L. told them ahead of time.

>> No.9938994

>>9938316
>>9938358
Thirding, London comm is great at the moment. Very friendly, decently welcoming to new lolitas and visitors. It's decentralised with no clear leader and the new fb group has been good at encouraging comm members to host monthly meets. There are lots of small or private get-togethers without anyone finding it shady or cliquey. On the wider scale several of the newer girls seem to be planning to go to international meets which is really nice to see.

I'd say discussions about cgl are less about being bitches or drama and more like a natural consequence of cgl being the only place to get decent lolita content nowadays so there's no point in pretending we don't go here. A couple of girls tend to fall headfirst into the salt, true, but they'll grow out of it.

>> No.9939017

>>9938497
No idea where you live, but where I live meets almost shut down over summer because it's really too hot here to wear lolita for a couple months of the year. If you have a similar climate problem, the best thing you can do for your meet's success is to take that into account.
>What was your favorite meet?
My favorite meets, particularly in summer, are all museums of some type or another (including aquariums and so on). It's nice to be in a climate controlled location and not out on a street all the time.
>Do you like themed meets or general?
I think this question depends deeply on the makeup of your comm. My comm is rather small and there's a fairly even split between the substyles, so themed meets just wouldn't work well. But if your comm is 90% sweets with huge wardrobes, go for it.
>What can a host do to make a meet more fun?
#1 most important thing is to pre-scout the location (take another mod or comm member if needed), be in touch with staff of any businesses, make reservations for any dining, and just generally be neurotic about having every little thing that could go wrong nailed down. Ensuring smoothness = ensuring fun.
>Favorite ice breaker games?
Nothing that puts people on the spot about their "lolita knowledge" or requires them to rank one another in any way. For a formal tea party a best dressed competition is fine but beyond that anything similar is just encouraging division instead of unity.
>Best thing you ever got in a goodie bag?
Personally, the best meets I've been to were meets where the hosts realized that spending our ticket money on goodie bags was a stupid idea and instead put it all toward better food options/prizes. No one really cares about goodie bag trinkets unless it's at a brand-sponsored event or 100-person tea party. Local comms can't and shouldn't be expected to compete with that.

>> No.9939032

what are the oregon comm(s) like? I don't mind traveling anywhere in the state, so any comms work. I'm mostly curious about if the comms have a lot of drama and/or if they're full of sjw's and gender snowflakes and people who can't keep politics out of meets, etc, so any info would be great.

>> No.9939041

>>9938497
>What was your favorite meet?
Most of my favorite meets have been low key potluck picnic meets desu. Free aside from bringing your own contribution, plus the hosts providimg a fun activity like cupcake decorating or simple craft project. Once at a park we even had a piniata with cute candies, stationaries and flower cips and hair accessories(back when ott sweet was THE substyle)

>Do you like themed meets or general?
I think themed meets are fun. I sont like substyle specific ones, but even "old school" or "black and/or white" are pretty generic and cover a wide variety of styles for everyone to be able to participate, and allows for creativity

>What can a host do to make a meet more fun?
Just be happy and talk to all the guests that show? Not sure really. Just try not to be a debbie downer if things dont go the right way? Be chill and enjoy the meet you stressed over planning.

>Favorite ice breaker games?
Scavenger hunt (find someone with x themed print or x brand)

>Best thing you ever got in a goodie bag?
I got flower bulbs to plant during a flower/garden party themed meet. A couple of people didnt like them so i took them off their hands and now they are a beautiful addition to my garden.

>> No.9939084

>>9938982
Oh, really? I missed that meet, then. Sounds like a fun time, glad I have a chance to check it out now!

Pretty sure I know which L you're referring to, I know her allergies make it difficult for her to find things to eat at meets. That's great that they did that for her!

>> No.9939121

>>9939084
Oh I meant the host! She let the venue know early for anyone who had special food requests.
But I'm definitely going to try to attend again this year. I'm sure you'll like it, our comm is always so friendly that I enjoy every meetup that I get a chance to attend.

>> No.9939145

>>9939032
I don't know about the others but Portland is full of gender snowflakes.

>> No.9939168

>>9939145
eh, thanks. was kinda afraid of that which is why I wanted to ask. I'm fine being a lonelita if it means not having to hear about special snowflake pronouns and gender/identity politics.

>> No.9939185

My comm consists in two groups that hate each other, it's pretty shitty especially cause it's obvious to me that this mess is just a misunderstanding... None of them is a bad person or anything, they're just complicated people that don't know how to communicate very well. I just wish everyone was a bit more mature...

>> No.9939186

My comm is doing a gothic coffee shop meet this weekend. It’s going to be 102 degrees and goth fashion simply don’t mix. I might have to reconsider wearing what I wanted because it’s not ideal for this heat.

>> No.9939203

>>9939185
Sounds exactly like my town. Except there are those that drift between the two groups, like they haven't really decided where they lean on certain issues.

>> No.9939274

>>9939185
My comm used to be like this when we where smaller. But now that more have come in and don’t know about the past drama, those involved with it have built a bridge and got over their indifferences. Their drama is between those involved and not the communities fault that a few girls decided to be cunts to one another.

>> No.9939315

>>9939186
Nothing is ideal for this heat. Get over it. Besides there is only room for 7 people so why are you waisting your time being crammed to a tiny room? Just go on your own away from the comm like the rest of us.

>> No.9939359

>>9939315
Some ones salty that people want to go to a meet. Why be like this? What is your ultimate goal in being salty like this? Did someone say you where ita? Did you get banned? Did someone a dress you wanted in the comm? Time to stop being a bitch and let people be excited for a meet for once.

>> No.9939398

>>9938497
>What was your favorite meet?
I love picnic meets if the weather is nice. It’s fun to prepare and share food with friends and try things they’ve made. I also like meets at museums, botanical gardens, and aquariums.

>Do you like themed meets or general?
Yes, I love themed meets. It’s fun to see people who wear different substyles try to fit the theme.

>What can a host do to make a meet more fun?
Coordinate group shots, talk to everyone, encourage others to get to know each other without being too pushy.

>Favorite ice breaker games?
Someone already mentioned this, but the scavenger hunt game is always fun. It gets you talking to others without any pressure.

>> No.9939402

>>9938994
What are the meets like? I've been having a hard time deciding whether or not to bother going.

>> No.9939414

Are there any comms near Kansas City (MO) that are worthwhile? And if there are.. what are they like

I was genuinely interested in my local areas but I think I'm going to be moving to KC within the next year and I don't want to commit to a comm if I'm not staying

>> No.9939430

I kind of want to join a comm, but I have had pretty severe body dysmorphia in the past and am still not at all comfortable with being in photos, especially if i don't know if they're going to be posted online or something. Is it weird to go to meets if you don't want to be in photos? Would people even be capable of respecting that or is it more like everyone takes photos of each other all the time? I don't want other people to have to adapt to me too much, but if it's mostly organized group shots I can usually be like "oh I hate being in photos but I don't mind taking them for you".

>> No.9939437

>>9939430
It's not weird to not want to be in pictures, just mention this. You don't have to give a specific reason for it, either; at most you can just say that you're unphotogenic or something.
Unfortunately you can never be sure that everyone will respect this, some people do whatever regardless of how politely you ask them not to take your picture, but most well adjusted people will respect you.
Volunteering to take other people's pics is a great idea and is usually encouraged and welcomed, at least from my experience, doubly so if you're capable with a camera.

>> No.9939438

>>9938478
I'm not involved with this and don't really care but that is not at all calling her scary, it's saying that worrying about sensitivity and how to approach someone different is scary. It's literally encouraging people to get over their hesitation and make friends. With sjw snowflakes like you it's no wonder this turned into a huge drama, you are twisting words around. Even the response is just saying that it's helpful so they know how to treat someone properly

>> No.9939439

>>9938497
Craft>picnic>museum>everything else>the same shitty tea room you go to every few months or a similar place

White trash old lady "tearooms" suck

>> No.9939467

>>9939438
I agree. I think the mods’ word choice could have been better but translating the word they used as “scary” feels a bit disingenuous because at least to me, it’s clear that what they were going for was more along the lines of “intimidating”. If you have no experience interacting with people with significant intellectual disabilities it can be intimidating to try and befriend someone like that, especially when there’s no caretaker around to step in, because you don’t want to mess up and upset her. Ideally there’d be someone around who knows her well and can mediate if necessary, but it seems like in all the years she’s been in the comm no one from her life has been willing to take on that role.

Hey French anons! I’ve read that the Moitie girl has an intellectual disability of some kind, too. Does she come to meetups? If so, does she come alone and how does that go?

>> No.9939469

>>9939438
I guess I can't give the mods the benefit of doubt because I've heard them talk about her before

>> No.9939482

>>9939467
It's not her disability that even makes people uncomfortable. From what I understand many people had no problem with approaching her, but they had to step back because she has no boundaries. She doesn't understand that she harasses people and no one knows what to do anymore in fear of being called a bully.

>> No.9939483

>>9939438
The SJW snowflakes are the ones who wanted members deleted, and that's what the mods did.

>>9939482
Isn't this about a different person? Someone was kicked out/left the comm because she harassed people.

>> No.9939486

>>9939469
The newer mods? I’ve heard a mod talk badly about her before too but she was one of the mods who just left.

>> No.9939487

>>9939486
Two of the current mods

>> No.9939488

>>9939487
What did they say?

>> No.9939490

>>9939488
I don't write down conversations I overhear. Just explaining to you why I didn't interpret the post the same way as you. Btw eng does translate to scary.

>> No.9939492

>>9939414
There's a KC lolita group on facebook. I assume they have their shit together enough since they run a convention

>> No.9939493

>>9939437
it's nice to read someone else reinforcing that the behavior i'd think was common courtesy isn't crazy or high matinence.Thanks, anon.

>> No.9939494

>>9939482
So the post they made didn't even address the problem?

>> No.9939495

>>9939483
That was definitely another person.

>>9939494
No one wants to be the one who reports her, so I am not sure what they can do.

>> No.9939496

>>9939495
Then I don't understand why they made that post about her disablity?

>> No.9939509

>>9939168
Portland has more than its fair share due to it being Portland but there are also people who aren’t like that.

>> No.9939514

>>9939437
Thanks anon, it's nice to hear that it's not an unreasonable request. I think I'm going to try to find out a bit more about my local comm, and maybe get a feel for what I can expect from its members.

>>9939493
I mean I would hope that people would respect it, but I've had so many people think I'm ridiculous for being like this that I honestly don't know what's reasonable anymore. People have literally made it a sport to take pictures of me when I'm not looking after I've told them being in pictures makes me uncomfortable.

>> No.9939518

>>9939514
There are terrible people everywhere, it's perfectly possible some of them are in your comm

>> No.9940060

>>9939509
I want to be nice and tell anon to try it anyway, tell her that not everyone is an SJW or gender snowflake, but I'm having a hard time thinking of people who aren't. It truly is most of the comm. So many times I have thought someone was normal only to be proven wrong. Or someone was normal and fell down the SJW hole.
Anon could try going to meets for a few months and hope to find her people, but is it really worth it? I don't think so.

>> No.9940062

>>9939186
I mean, so long as it's indoors, should be ok?

>> No.9940092

>>9939509
>>9940060
Thanks anons. I think it would be nice to have a group of people who can put aside our differences and just enjoy the fashion over tea or doing something fun without having to get all political or sjw. The few times I've tried getting to know other lolitas here it's been a shitfest. (both times it was someone random I met on the street/in a shop/etc, but both times devolved into "oh, You're not a bi trans socialist with they/them pronouns???' obviously not word for word but it followed similar patterns and was a huge turn off.) I honestly don't mind what you identify as, I just don't think it needs to be the focal point of every conversation and I feel bad ghosting people on email/discord after such experiences. I hope meets aren't like that. I might give it a shot one of these days.

>> No.9940098

>>9940092
Wait, people actually get offended or upset that you're not a special snowflake? Is it really not enough for them that you accept them, but you actually have to be one too?

I kinda want to know more details of the comments people make to you.

>> No.9940112
File: 310 KB, 478x258, fish-mouth.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9940112

>>9940098
It was more or less just us doing the small talk thing, trying to get to know one another and them saying "oh..." and making the bewildered face like in this picture. No matter what topic I tried to bring up, it always somehow went back to something sjw/political. I'm not exactly sure they were offended, and I didn't mean to make it seem like that, but more or less made the whole thing feel very strange and forced. I guess bewildered is a better word than offended.

>> No.9940132

>>9940112

If god were to strike me with an awful resting face, let him strike me with resting bitch face and not resting fish face.

>> No.9940170

>>9940062
It’s a very small coffee shop and we are a fairly large comm. there will be people waiting outside talking.

>> No.9940179

>>9940170
Don't go or offer to find a second location that's bigger? (as in meet at the coffee shop and later go someplace else after)

from my understanding, it is a little strange that a large attendance would be expected to meet in a small space though

>> No.9940191

>>9940132
I literally can't even force myself to make that face. I tried so hard once because it just wasn't possible for my face to make that expression. The fact that it comes so easy to certain people makes me laugh

>> No.9940196

I am a bit late, but what is everyones problem with the whole introducing yourself/filling in a form to enter the comm thing? The sales group has it as well, but all you do is complain about the one from the comm.
Yes it is compulsory, but that’s logical as barely anyone did it freely and people would like to know who is watching them. In this day and age of Social media people use all these tools to track their activity and who is watching them. So why is it that bad that in a private group people want to know who is in it? Especially in such a niche fashion like Lolita.

Also, why is it that bad that people try to regulate stuff? Every place is regulated, even cgl. Imagine if the community had no regulations and anyone could enter, don’t you think it would be a gigantic shithole? Look at Dutch people, they love to joke around on social media. Just look at what happened with the HFW eventpage that was public. Also if you are a bit active on Instagram you probably would have noticed the comments on lolita/jfashion accounts saying stuff like “Omg Tina look at these weirdos, isn’t it hilarious!” Is it that bad that we want to avoid those kind of people? Is it bad that we want to keep the fetishist and the bad people out? If you have been on cgl long enough, you would have read about stuff that can happen if you keep them in. If you have been in the comm long enough you would have known about what has happened. People are just trying to create a safe space, but all this drama really isn’t helpful.
Also a lot of girls try to hide Lolita from their acount to avoid that certain people find out about it, because in the end the Netherlands isn’t as open and accepting as everyone thinks. They don’t want janenalleman to see their stuff. So wouldn’t it be nice if they had a place were they could share stuff and talk with like minded people without having the first photo they ever posted being made public? Or being shared to people outside the group?

>> No.9940213

And to the old fags, what is your problem? The old forum had all of these regulations as well. The drama was the same back then, why do you keep saying the past was better? Why do you keep saying the old mods are better? Even when the old mods started this comm page, there was a bunch of drama. They also haven’t handeled things very well. They have been know for being elitists for ages, they have been known for talking behind peoples back and sharing peoples stuff with their friends. It just feels like you are very salty that your friends are being attacked or that you are being attacked. People always had issues with how everything is going , it isn’t new. People have been saying stuff like this for awhile. If you have attended meet ups and socialized with people outside your circle, you should have known that a lot of people were feeling this way.
And when it comes to being a mod, yes it’s voluntarily, it isn’t a job. But when mods are bluntly ignoring everyone that isn’t in their friendzone and appear as unapproachable, people really start to question their motives. It really felt like some mods were only in it for the power, that they didn’t give a shit about the community. And if the mods really cared about it, then they should have made a proper statement a long time ago and not the passive-aggressive shit they are posting now/were posting a few months ago.

Tbh the comments on cgl really makes me doubt about all the people who are in the group “so they can keep in touch with their friends.” It feels like you are just in there to start drama and keep up with the gossips, so you can shitpost here on cgl. If you really want to stay in contact with your friends, just send them a friendrequest, contact each other on Facebook and meet up or something. Because let’s be real, no one is actually using the comm to contact their friends, you do that on otherways but not inside the comm. If that was the case the group would be much more active.

>> No.9940310

>>9940196
>>9940213
this

Btw for everyone who's wondering, the Dutch comm is actually pretty nice and the only people who usually cause drama are(/were) the inactive members. I'm glad all inactive mods finally gave up. (now we just need to wait a bit until their petty shitposting is over and we'll be fine again)

>> No.9940398

>>9940179
It’s not going to be a large attendance. It usually isn’t, but there is a rare occasion that people will show up more then planned. Considering not many have said any thing about the meet over the last month nor a reminder like there was about some of the other meets, I don’t think many will attend this one.

>> No.9940418

>>9939359
Maybe some people who do want to dress up can't go to the meet cause there isn't enough room

>> No.9940419

>>9940098
No, they don't

>> No.9940423

>>9940196
My friend has an lj comm that isn't regulated at all and she doesn't have to spend any time on modding it

>> No.9940440

Wtf is happening with Sydcomm? Have there been any updates?

>> No.9940441

>>9940213
>they have been known for talking behind peoples back
I hope you know what you're doing right now lmao

>>9940310
They weren't inactive though

>> No.9940442

>>9938252
What is the girl on the very top right wearing? Is it from an indie brand

>> No.9940446

>>9940423
Well no shit, LJ has been mostly abandoned and there are no normies left on it. Hardly comparable to IG and normiebook.

>> No.9940448

>>9939492
It’s so messy. And the convention they have has gone downhill more each year.

>> No.9940452

>>9940446
Then maybe you should make a comm there, you obviously know how to do it perfectly and not all the mods you hate have left yet

>> No.9940470

>>9940452
Not my comm. Just pointing out that FB has a much larger problem of normies looking for people to mock than LJ ever did so your attempt to invalidate that post with your anecdote isn’t working.

>> No.9940475
File: 402 KB, 750x794, TB2URgTi4hmpuFjSZFyXXcLdFXa_!!96590794.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9940475

>>9938497

>>What was your favorite meet?
Live-model drawing class with lunch afterwards
>>Do you like themed meets or general?
No- I keep a minimal wardrobe so they always mean extra costs that I can't always justify
>>What can a host do to make a meet more fun?
No idea, other than encourage conversation that isn't overly political
>>Favorite ice breaker games?
Scavenger hunt with finding items in peoples dress prints. I.e Halloween meet involved finding vampires, ghosts, rabbits, keys, roses, a flower not a rose, polka dots.
If the meet is themed this is fun to throw in some odd items - Bath tub, bed room furniture.
>>Best thing you ever got in a goodie bag?
Decorative fake nails as I often don't bother to do anything fancy other than a basic french polish

>> No.9940486

>>9940196
>>9940213
Are you one of the current mods?

>> No.9940515

>>9939490
Of course I’m not asking you to quote them exactly but I’m curious what they could have said that was mean. I don’t remember perfectly what M said either but I remember that we were in a tram on our way to a meetup and other people in the tram were staring at us and whispering. The disabled girl was there and M said something to her friend about how she was embarased about people linking us with her and that people might think we are all like her. I didn’t tell this to anyone else because I was used to lolitas being kind of mean.

>>9940213
I was a newbie in the forum days and the group then always felt very clicky and unwelcoming. Even after buying brand from L’s shop lolitas would always ignore me when I tried to say hello at events. If their group was big enough they would stand in a tight circel with their back to everyone so it was hard to join without being rude. I stopped posting on the forum about lolita because nobody replied. Only the off topic sub forums about anime and music were really active. When the FB group was made I was disapointed by who the mods were because I reconized most of them as the people who always ignored me when I tried to say hello. That’s why I rarely go to meetups. I don’t really know the new mods so I don’t know if they are nicer, but if they are open to talking with new people then that’s already a big improvement.

>> No.9940516

>>9940418
So be a salty bitch because some anon decided they wanted to wear something more accommodating for the heat then what they had planned? Maybe it’s a good thing you won’t come because “ too many people” no one would want to be around someone as salty as you.

>> No.9940517

>>9940515
The ex-mods weren't in the group of friends of the people who managed the forum and shop though

>> No.9940520

>>9940516
I'm not in your comm lol. But if you don't want to wear gothic lolita then you should give up your seat to someone who does.

>> No.9940556

>>9939186
OK??? I'm so sick of hearing these kinds of complaints, about any comm. If you don't like the events or you think you know better places to go, plan them yourself. Otherwise, stop bitching all the time about fairly casual meetups. Christ, it's not a con tea party or ILD. Constant impotent whining like this is why people get burnt out of planning events for their comm, alongside the flakes and lack of attendance.

>> No.9940596

>>9940520
I didn’t say my backup wasn’t gothic though. It’s just less embellished and has different elements then what I was planning on wearing. I was going to wear something with a heavier fabric and a Victorian style blouse ( long sleeve ruffled collar around the neck). But have opted to a lighter weight fabric dress with a more breatheable blouse. I just wore this coord recently and wanted to wear something new for a change but can’t since the weather is two ticks short of a slow roast in a crock pot.

>> No.9940598

>>9940596
You said goth fashion doesn't mix with the weather

>> No.9940601

>>9940598
Doesn’t mean that I wasn’t planning on wearing goth. Just that goth in the weather sucks.

>> No.9940623

>>9940517
K was.

>> No.9940626

>>9940515
This is literally becoming a #metoo like witch hunt now. Stay classy, ladies!

>> No.9940631

>>9940626
You're obviously not in the Dutch comm.

>> No.9940646

>>9940440
They put up two nominees for community vote where only one with the most votes will be elected as a mod. Initially there was supposed to be at least 4-5 new mods. There is a claim that there were few nominations/limited choices yet there were at least more than two nominees. Smells fishy desu.

>> No.9940653

>>9940310
Why was someone shitposting about your comm the other day then? I saw a wholenita thread...

>> No.9940666

>>9940310
Then why was someone shitposting about your comm?

>> No.9940667

>>9940653
Tbh I don't know why she thinks the comm is so nice. There is drama in the Dutch comm every year. Even the new mod was already posted on cgl and btb. I know several Dutch lolitas who left the comm because of all the immaturity and they were never involved in any drama themselves afaik.

>> No.9940687

>>9938435
>they turned off comments on the ''goodbye post
Shady af desu

>> No.9940740

>>9940653
So because the comm is victim of a petty vendetta shitpost the majority of people can't be nice?

>> No.9940790

>>9940740
It's just delulu to think the only people causing drama are inactive.

>> No.9940791

>>9940486
Lol no, the current mods haven’t even been in the fashion long enough to know about the old days. Also I don’t want to say the new ones are all great and perfect, some definitly have similair issues as the older ones, but I do like them more.

I am all for adding some new mods though. It would be nice if we could strike a balance between all the different groups in the community, but I have to admit that I don’t even know who could be a good candidate. A lot of people have two faces! And the ones who are genuinly innocent wouldn’t be up for it.

>> No.9940796

anyone know what the philly comm is like? I'm moving close by and I'm just wondering how active it is, how many people are usually at meets, any drama or anything I should know about etc

>> No.9940916

Is there an international community in the Nagoya area? I’ve heard there are relatively a lot of Lolitas there but idk if they’d be accepting of a gaijin, although I do speak some Japanese. Otherwise, will they let me in the kansai comm even if I don’t live in Kansai?

>> No.9940940

>>9940790
Some of the people complaining quit lolita years ago. Others never went to meets outside of their cliques. They are not people the active comm members will miss or care about because we never see them anyway. And quite a few proved they are shitty people these last few days so good riddance.

>> No.9940974

>>9940940
That's always the same one or two persons though. Most drama is completely unrelated to them.

>> No.9940979

>>9940940
they just comment negatively on the drama that already happened, they don't cause it

>> No.9940982

>>9940974
It was definitely more than two people. Lots of former lolitas came out to complain about the situation as if they were personally victimized.

>>9940979
The last time there was mod drama I saw plenty of friends of the former mods posts screenshots of the shit they said on /cgl/ about the other mods and community. I don't doubt for a second that the ita thread was created by them as well.

>> No.9941269

>>9940092
>it would be nice to have a group of people who can put aside our differences and just enjoy the fashion over tea or doing something fun without having to get all political or sjw. The few times I've tried getting to know other lolitas here it's been a shitfest.
I'm sorry you had that experience. I can assure you not all of us are gender snowflakes or poly or sjw. Its a huge comm and I'm definitely a boring straight girl with a longtime boyfriend. And there are lots of other girls who are straight and not open about kinks.

Its a shame that you let those people give you the impression that the comm is just a shitshow. Not everyone in Portland is a tumblrina that you need to be secretly annoyed by.

>> No.9941317

Does this happen in every niche community or is it just lolita where the mods love to power trip and micromanage? This seems common with lolita comms across the world.

>> No.9941321

>>9941269
I haven't been to a comm meet or anything yet, just random lolitas I have seen while being about in town. Wasn't trying to give the impression that I thought the comm was like that, more or less just wondering if it was. Thanks for the info though, I might give it a shot.

>> No.9941369

>>9941321
I hope you do! I spent a lot of time being a lonelita cause I didn't have the best experience at first, but I'm glad I kept going back cause I definitely made decent friends.

>> No.9941395

>>9941317
Definitely not exclusive to lolita, just like other maladjusted personalities aren't exclusive to lolita. I've seen mods and admins in other communities that are completely unrelated to lolita or fashion, lose their goddamned minds in one way or another and ruin any chances for the members of the group to enjoy themselves like the group was intended. I've even seen some regular members do this too, without the mod position.

>> No.9941407

>>9941317
It even happens in my study group

>> No.9941827
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9941827

There's this new girl in my comm who joined a few months ago and she seemed a little awkward at first but it's lolita so I shrugged it off. But she's been really passive aggressive towards a few members since she joined. We've discussed it privately and we all agree that it seems intentional.

Problem is, she's close to one of the mods so I don't think anything will happen if I point it out. I don't want drama, but I also don't want to have to deal with her at meets. I just want to enjoy meetups and not be around her.

Also she looks like this and her bangs make me so angry every time I see her.

>> No.9941857 [DELETED] 
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9941857

I can tell you which comm to avoid if you’re from the Midwest. Some royal salt queen got kicked out of all the regional comms and made her own. Her bf was sexually harassing comm girls and sending unsolicited dick picks. Don’t join this comm unless you want to be a victim.

>> No.9941909

>>9941857
Give your vendetta a break.

>> No.9941915
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9941915

>>9941857
>the Midwest
Thank you. Very specific.

>> No.9941920

>>9941857
Somebody is just jealous that she models for Baby. Get over yourself you cunt.

>> No.9941929

>>9941857
The middle aged meanies are at it again. Bravo for acting your shoe size.

>> No.9941942

>>9938497
I want to try hosting my first meet this fall, too, so I'm gonna lurk your answers. Meanwhile, here are mine.
>What was your favorite meet?
SF used to have a big OTT party every year but they only did it for two years. I miss those.
>Do you like themed meets or general?
I love themed meets but I don't like it if the theme is mandatory, only encouraged. It's especially nice when the theme matches what we're doing, like art prints for a museum or flower prints for a picnic in a garden.
>What can a host do to make a meet more fun?
Introduce new people to others is a big part. Don't leave shy people hanging. Having a shy host makes the whole thing even harder. If you're just doing a tea party I'd have some ideas for something to do nearby after the tea for those that want to keep hanging around.
>Favorite ice breaker games?
One girl in my comm is really experienced in hosting meets. My first tea of hers I went to, we had two games that stood out to me. One was guessing which candy bar a piece of candy had come from, and another was going through a pile of words (they look like paper refrigerator magnets, sort of) and putting them in order for print names.
>Best thing you ever got in a goodie bag?
I agree with others that goodie bags are far from mandatory and are more for large-scale, sponsored or formal/heavily themed meets. I'd rather get nothing than a bunch of cheap stationary, stickers, snacks etc that I could just pick up at Daiso if I wanted them. That being said it might be cool to do a grab bag where everyone gets a different item or accessory and people are free to trade for something they prefer.

>> No.9941946
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9941946

>>9941915

>> No.9941962

>>9941857
Nobody cares about your ignorant vendetta of lies. Give it up

>> No.9941997

>>9939414
There's a few in that whole area, a few are out in Kansas. There's two for KC though. The main one is Kansas City Lolitas (iirc) and I think the other is called FBI (Frills By Invitation).

They're both messy but not to a point where it affects meets or anything.

>> No.9942017

>>9941857
What? Post caps/evidence, that shouldn't be hard to prove

>> No.9942056

>>9940213

I don't know who you are, but thank you.
Just let's try to keep clear from now on that maybe we can't all be friends in the comm, but t least we can respect each other and treat each other like we would like to be treated.
The saddest thing is that this should apply not only in the Dutch comm but in every comm.

>> No.9942088 [DELETED] 

>>9941929
Not here for this ageism tb

>> No.9942089

>>9941929
Not here for this ageism desu

>> No.9942092

>>9940092
Most members keep it to themselves at meets but it’s a toss up as to what they post on Facebook. The comm is pretty active and within a couple of meets you can easily find a group of like-minded people and learn who to avoid at meets if that’s how you roll. It’s worth trying one of the large meets and then branching to smaller ones imo. The smaller ones vary on who shows and thus the whole vibe, the bigger ones are pretty much almost everyone and some new people.

>> No.9942135

>>9941857
YAWN

No one believes your made up vendetta, give up

>> No.9942273

>>9941920
Like that's hard? Volunteering to model at a con, big deal, anon.

>> No.9942274

>>9942135
>>9942017
>>9941962
>>9941929
>>9941920
>>9941909
same fagging

>> No.9942311

>>9942273
Who was this even about?

>> No.9942312

>>9941915
Weird. I never considered several of those as Midwest.

>> No.9942317

>>9941827
Fight her

>> No.9942338

>>9942317
You have no idea how much I want to.

>> No.9942404

>>9942274
Sorry several people are tired of your vendetta posting shitting up multiple threads. Post caps or shut up.

>> No.9942644

>>9942404
Yes. I am one of those people who are tired of it too. They need to give it up already. It's silly and immature.

>> No.9942914

>>9941827
What comm are you in?

>> No.9942965

Coffee shop anon, did you go? I wanna know of you went to the meet that got canceled and showed up expecting others to show.

>> No.9943184

>>9938994
Hi, mod from the Canadian London here. We get a lot of requests from girls trying to find the UK comm. Should I be pointing them to EGL London, or somewhere else?

>> No.9943196

>>9940916
>lolita in Nagoya
>literally the New Jersey of japan
I would check with someone about joining the kansai comm if I were you.

>> No.9943198

>>9943184
EGL London is the main community, yeah

>> No.9943203

>>9943198
wish my comm had such a classy name

>> No.9943204

>>9938497
Just chiming in to say I loathe themed meets. My wardrobe is very specific to my tastes (mostly non-print) so 95% of the time I will not have anything to even remotely tie into the theme and I have no interest in buying new items to fit a theme when I will never be wearing them again because they don't fit my style. I understand you don't have to wear a themed outfit but when your entire comm goes hard on participating in the mermaid theme and you show up wearing old school tartan you do end up feeling weird and out of place and it just needlessly discourages people from coming, especially newer lolitas who are still building their wardrobes. If one really wants to do a theme then I think having a general theme that could work with any substyle (ex. fairy tales) is much better than making an OTT sweet meet.

>> No.9943222

>>9943203
RIP Tea Party Club

>> No.9943243

>>9943204
Try to understand their perspective.. The person who organises wants to have fun with a meet too. If you've been going to meets for a few years it gets really boring desu. Themed meets are not supposed to be a reason to buy new stuff, they should make you think about new ways to coord what you have.

>> No.9943280

>>9943184
Actually EGL UK is the general UK page. EGL London is the London comm.

>> No.9943281

>>9943203
Are you from CLAM?

>> No.9943323

Can we please talk about the delta h tea party and how utterly embarrassing it was to be seen by respectable guests in that setting?

>> No.9943352

>>9943323
I'm seriously considering quitting lolita because of this tea party. I'm so tired of dealing with these cringy people. This tea party was the worst meet I have ever witnessed. I didnt think houston could be any worse.

>> No.9943356

>>9943323
deets?

>> No.9943372

>>9943323
Spill the beans i'm nosy.

>> No.9943375

>>9943323
holy shit please tell us what happened

>> No.9943381

>>9943356
After sitting, you were supposed to circle on the menu what you wanted to eat and then people who weren't wearing gloves made sandwiches on white bread WITHOUT GLOVES one by one. I didnt even eat them because I was so disgusted. Then we played tic tac toe. The tea party guests didnt say one word. This was a first impression on the houston comm. Is this usually how the meets are? Like why didnt they have a sandwich tray at least?

>> No.9943382

>>9943381
Who were the guests?

>> No.9943385

>>9943382
wasn't Scarving Scarves and Lockshop there?

>> No.9943386

>>9943382
Scarfing scarves, chocolate(lockshop), buttcape

>> No.9943393

>>9943381
I circled my dessert and got some sort of unknown glob

>> No.9943394

>>9943393
Lmao I circled a dessert choice and didnt even get one

>> No.9943396

>>9943381
i thought the houston comm was completely destroyed by the leighs. i obv need an update.

>> No.9943399

>>9943396
Lol there are two comms in houston. Hls is trash and is ran by itas. Hlc is pretty good

>> No.9943406

>>9943399
Both are trash. Houston is a cesspit.

>> No.9943409

>>9942914
A midwestern one. It's kind of small.

>> No.9943426

>>9943381
Dont forget the tic tac toe and bean bag toss

>> No.9943442

>>9943198
>>9943280
Thank you~ I wanted to make sure I wasn't sending girls over to a page that was inactive or something. We used to get a ton of requests from both residents and travelers so I'd hate to have been sending them nowhere.

>> No.9943470

>>9943323
>Respectable guests
>>9943386
Lol no.

>> No.9943492

>>9943470
Lmao @ the absolute state of lolita

>> No.9943497

>>9942965
Not that anon, but I went knowing no one else was coming. I had plans in the area anyway.

>> No.9943515

>>9943470
Youre right. I guess its cool if nearby and international loliitas think our comm is a laughing stock.

>> No.9943529

>>9943497
I had plans in the area too but didn’t go because I didn’t think any one was going to be there. So I just spend the day in my lolita coord I was going to wear and went shopping. Wasn’t going to let a cancel stop me from wearing lolita.

>> No.9943552

>>9943515
I mean we already do because you posted it to cgl? Plus it really is the opinion of all the attendees that has more weight than the "respectable" guests.

Choke is known for scamming through incompetence of running a store, ScarfingScarves is a mildly entertaining, efame hungry drama self inserter, and Buttcape... runs a blog?

If anything I think the community thinks that it's embarrassing that you find those guests worthwhile and respectable.

>> No.9943576

>>9943552
Why did they invite these people to be tea party guests?

>> No.9943590

>>9943576
The con has a guest budget of near zero. This is who they can afford.

>> No.9943593

>>9943399
Doesn't HLC have a ton of pro-AM people still in it?

>> No.9943666

>>9943323
To be fair, $25 is pretty cheap for a tea party with guests. I agree though, they could have done a better job of setting the food all out beforehand. Overall it was ok I think.

>> No.9943669

>>9943593
The mods are either pro-AM or neutral. Its kinda lame.

>> No.9943725

I think there used to be a directory for the different UK comms but I can't find it anymore, can anyone link it?

>> No.9943729

>>9943669
I saw half the active mods be against AM during the Scarfing Scarves montage, the other half seems neutral or whatever. They're changing mods though so that will change.

>>9943381
Honey I'm sorry but your first mistake was going to Delta H Con in the first place. The con is notorious for its zero budget and sad attempts at lolita events. I didn't bother going and hung out with other lolita friends at a cute cafe instead. We had a great time, so I'm sure once you make friends in the community, you'll be able to enjoy yourself for real. The ILD meet HLC had at the aquarium was pretty decent as well, you just need to pay attention to who the good hosts are.

>> No.9943731

>>9943593
Both comms have a mix of both. You have to pay attention to what friend groups people are in to figure it out, but it's more complicated than it seems.

>>9943666
Yeah, for $25 you get what you pay for. I didn't understand why it was live streamed either? There didn't seem like there was much to watch besides people sitting.

>> No.9943736

>>9943725
Unfortunately, it was out of date and got taken down. Just post in EGL UK asking for which comm is closest to you and someone will let you know. Or just say what region you're looking for, maybe I or another anon can help?

>> No.9943739

I need the sauce on St. Louis lolitas because I'm absolutely terrified to know how they act based on my knowledge of the normies in the area. I have yet to find a nice normal person in this area... and frankly I'm scared to look into their comm because of that.

The only thing I know is from a friend who knew some lolitas in the con scene several years back and she absolutely hated them.

>> No.9943740

what dress is the girl on the top right wearing, anybody know?

>> No.9943771

>>9943381
what's wrong with not wearing gloves to prepare a sandwich? not like you can't wash your hands or anything

>> No.9943775

>>9943381
I work in a kitchen and I have to say you are the kind of people I fucking HATE. I know more people who do insanely disgusting things with gloves on than I do people who don't. You are forced to wash your hands more, and my hands aren't disgusting. American food culture and how the FDA handles stuff is fucking wild. I hope I never have to cook for you.

>> No.9943821

>>9943381
so do you wear gloves when making sandwiches...? that’s kind of weird

>> No.9943824

>>9943731
Exactly. What do you want for $25!? If M wasn’t pulled in to help last minute, it would’ve been worse.

Houston comm, you know you’re too cheap to pay for nice things.

>> No.9943829

>>9943323
>>9943352
>>9943552
>>9943381
>>9943731
So, a few notes and questions for the salties:
I was there, talked to one of the mods a little. First of all, they didn't expect it to sell out at all. They thought it would be small crowd like last year, so the theme was kind of a joke, and one of the food items accidentally got ruined, so if you didn't get your cheesecake bite, that's why. If you're one of those gulls who hates the hls lolis, then why the hell did you come in the first place?
>chokelate, Tyler, buttcape not respectable guests
You left out the Ota-Q designer, who is a very talented young lady. And besides, these "not respectable guests" got the little tea party sold out. So think before you talk shit. And the guests talked if you opened your trap and talked to them.
>The Houston comm is more complicated than pro/anti AM
This is truer than true. I have friends in both groups and it's sad because they're all actually good people who, like all of us, lose perspective on things and get wrapped up in bullshit sometimes. I wish we could get together and remember that we're all gorgeous weirdos with the same dress-collecting hobby.
I tell newbs to just go ahead and join both groups, make friends, enjoy yourself, and remember that it's about the fashion.

>> No.9943847

Hoping to find a NC comm- I’ve been out of the fashion for a while and a lot of people I used to know in the area and fashion are gone. I found Carolina Kei but wondering how frequently and where they generally tend to meet?

>> No.9943857

>>9943396
>>9943399
>>9943406
The Houston drama has long since died down. HLS is a newer comm, with a history of their meets not being *as* nice, but still enjoyable; HLC is the original, but since their active mods left, it's been dead and thus kind of a joke - granted, the best dressed are mainly in HLC. It's gotten to where most of the people in Houston and in surrounding areas hang out with their friends, who also happen to be lolitas, and no real open-community meets are planned. I'm in that boat personally, I just hang out with my friends who happen to wear the fashion.

That said, I didn't attend the tea or anything for Delta H, but AM hasn't destroyed Houston cons that have lolita programming. Delta H has ALWAYS been a shitshow. People used to go just to get a kick out of the "fashion show" (that is pretty much only made up of cosplayers). Oni con is always really awesome with their lolita programming, and of course other cities have pretty upstanding jfashion programming as well. AM is dying and everyone knows it. We are just watching it sink, waiting for the Leighs to finally give up on their fashion track, if not everything.

So yea. The drama has been deemed a dead horse by all and we are just waiting for everything to finish up taking care of itself.

>> No.9943902

I’m pretty lucky my comm is very active considering how hot it is here, but events are being held almost weekly. The downside is a lot of members (the older/married/ones with kids are the worst) are very cringey and rude. They’re all very vapid and annoying to deal with. I guess I’m just not cool enough to fetishize k-pop and talking about stupid crap and burp and fart without saying excuse me. Idk maybe I’m out of touch with the youth.

>> No.9943907

>>9943902
Nayrt I'll never fart in public but I have gastro problems that cause me to burp at random times and when I'm under (any) stress so it gets annoying (personally) having to apologize every few moments for burping

>> No.9943909

I went to the tea party and had a terrible time. I felt so much anxiety the whole time because I didnt know what was even happening the whole time. After a while I just sat there quietly waiting for it to end.

As for the food: I didnt eat a bite. It was terrible... I did notice the no handwashing, and the lack of a nearby handwashing station. And the dirt under the persons fingernails who made mine. And the fact that she kept touching other things and people and would then go back and make more. I would have enjoyed premade food so my table ate at the same time.

The large girl that was a host would come ask my table questions and would be so super close to me and bark confusing orders for us to do. She would get so close that she would basically be breathing in my face. I didnt know anyone there so I was just counting the minutes until it ended.

I have been to many many tea parties, I've spent more than 25 dollars and I've spent less than 25 dollars. It's not about the money. I would have paid more even though I've been to spectacular ones for just 20 dollars. I wasnt expecting gourmet. I was expecting organization and not to feel the need to run out of the room. For 25 dollars a person, each table could have had a pre made tray from the grocery store and then the tables could have eaten at the same time.

>> No.9943913

>>9943909
See I'm happy you clarified that they were disgusting ass pigs about cooking. It sounds like none of them know the first thing about food handling. Disgusting

>> No.9943922

>>9943913
I wouldnt say they were disgusting. It was mainly an older woman. She was clean. But she was basically the only one making sandwiches for all the tables. And like I said, there was no handwashing stations around so I'm not even sure when hands were washed. Gloves would have been better since people could see their food being made and had no idea where these strangers had been prior. There was obviously so food handling knowledge but also I'm wondering how the food was even stored because it didnt seem fresh. It's crazy to me though how someone can think this event was acceptable. Even a small cheap meet could have went so much better. I see the main argument of it being cheap but that's seriously not an excuse.

>> No.9943926

>>9943922
I wasn’t at this tea party but I’ve been reading everyone’s experience and I’ve ran a 10 dollar con tea party where I bought a few deli platters of stuff and just had an assortment at each table. It didn’t put us out either. I’m so baffled as to why the organizers thought some poor old lady making sandwiches was a good idea? That just sounds extremely inefficient and weird

>> No.9943929

>>9943926
Thank you for this. One of the best tea parties I've ever been to was 15 dollars. It was a blast. Its definitely not about the money, it's about these people who ran this

>> No.9944071
File: 592 KB, 765x441, e17034eb6d22509931088bc055de51cd.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9944071

Anyone know what this is about?

>> No.9944093

>>9943821
Have you never gone to a Subway?

>> No.9944105

>>9943907
+1 I’ll forgive burping but farting in Lolita? Like right near other people? Hello no, I excuse myself elsewhere if I can’t hold it in. Now if they have other issues but made other people aware then that’s okay.

>> No.9944115

>>9944093
Uh yeah? The subway by my house wear gloves? And also they are required to wash their hands before going to work. Also they get inspected by the health department to make sure their food is safe for consumption. So what's your point? Hell I wish subway was at the tea party, better than room temp cucumber sandwiches on white bread with the crusts cut off.

>> No.9944131

>>9944115
i work at a pizza place and we don't wear gloves. it's bad for the environment, more expensive and not more clean. it only looks more clean.

>> No.9944134

>>9943902
>the older/married/ones with kids are the worst
>Idk maybe I’m out of touch with the youth.
how fucking old are you

>> No.9944144

>>9944131
The only kitchen job I've had that's required gloves was when I worked at Panera but even then the managers just want you to make sure you use them on finished product.

And like 7/10 I see them ignoring that rule too. We all just wash our hands, makes working with food easier, you notice how much crud is on your hands, etc etc

Obvs these people making the food were not food safety certified or else they would have made the food in a commercial kitchen like they are (legally) supposed to do in order to serve people who paid for food. Actually the only way you can get away with it (in certain, not all states) is if it's a gift with a "donation" or whatever.

>tfw yr dads a chef so you know too many unneeded factoids about restaurants that even most kitchen staff don't know

>> No.9944170

>>9943740
On OP?

>> No.9944174

>>9944144
>we all just wash our hands


YES
There was no nearby handwashing station sooooooo...... also after seeing them touch everything and then go back and make food was very off putting.
When I worked fast food we had to rewash our hands after re entering the food area even if we washed our hands after using the bathroom.

>> No.9944231

>>9943902
The older married with kids crowd in my comm never come to meetups but ALWAYS have to let everyone know why they’re not coming, why they haven’t bought anything new recently, why they don’t have any new coord pics. Nobody asked, put yourself on “can’t go” and whine about your choices on your personal FB instead of a fashion group with hundreds of strangers.

I’m getting married and want to have a child at some point too, but I hope my friends will slap me upside the head before I ever get this annoying to be around.

>> No.9944239

>>9944071
I have no idea, but even just making a public mod post like this feels soooo witch-hunt to me.

>> No.9944244

>>9944231

Man I remember in my old friend group we made an FB page for our own social events and we had this really serious, slightly socially awkward woman who would be the first (and sometimes only) to announce on every outing post why she wasn't coming. It was really awkward because in a group of 20 obviously only 5 people would go unless it's a special event, but she just felt obligated every time. I felt bad - she was really polite, nice, and well meaning, but a bit tone deaf. Maybe that's what they are?

>> No.9944252

>>9944244
They probably do mean well, but people have brought up how annoying this is several times before. We’re a large comm. When someone creates an event they usually auto-invite everyone, which is >200 people. Do they really think every meetup host wants to know why all these complete strangers might not be able to make it, every single time, especially if the reason isn’t something anyone can do anything about? I could understand if the host picked a really bad date or location and wonders why nobody is RSVPing because that’s something that can be improved on, but when the reason is “I don’t have a babysitter” it’s just like... okay? We’re not going to be able to provide one for you so there’s really no need to keep telling us over and over and over, especially because practically nobody in the comm even knows who these women are. I almost want to suggest that they organize a mommy&me meetup just for lolita moms but I’m pretty sure they’d all flake on that, too.

>> No.9944376

>>9944239
Yeah. Not sure what posting about it like that would even do?

Also, how easy would it be to just say someone you wanted banned from the comm was harassing you?

>> No.9944389

>>9943736
Is there a comm around Oxfordshire/Cheltenham? Or would I have to travel down to London?

>> No.9945892

Anyone else’s comm require you to message a mod and have them make the event page for you for meet planning? It’s the most annoying thing.

>> No.9946110

>>9945892
I'm in a pretty large comm and anybody in the group can make a meet. That seems like a weird rule

>> No.9946135

>>9945892
I know my comm does, it is kind of annoying and has been a reason i have yet to make an event.

>> No.9946137

>>9945892
>>9946135
maybe they had past experience with people spamming events/ don't be a lazy tard and just PM them instead of whining about it here.

>> No.9946146

>>9944071
its about the frizzy haired girl in the last ita thread who lets her bf creep on girls at meets. shes even gone as far as to send harassing and threatening phone calls and messages to the girls he does this to

the paradiso event stuff she went around saying really nasty things around different girls and any models that weren’t part of her friends circle

>> No.9946149

>>9946137
I have, but the mods are painfully slow about making it and I’ve already reminded them once, it’s been almost a week. I understand things happen but this is the second time something like this has occurred for me, and it’s disappointing. I get so excited about making a meet and then my enthusiasm drops when it seems like the mods don’t care. I’m not mad necessarily, I just think if they can’t handle making events promptly they should get a new system.

>> No.9946151

>>9946146
Again, post proof or GTFO. I severely doubt he would do anything like this, but why is it so hard to post proof? It just makes you look like a pathetic vendetta-chan

>> No.9946162

>>9946137
i wasn't whining i was just saying she wasn't the only one whose comm did it. Chill

>> No.9946201

>>9946151
I can’t post anything without the victims permission but myself and others have seen the proof. There is a reason she has been banned from every community she’s been in. Do you really think so many communities would just up and start banning a single person without having multiple reports along with proof especially considering the majority of us in these mod circles are either not close or have issues with eachother? And what reason would anyone have a vendetta towards her for? Because she’s modeled multiple times for Baby or has a lot of brand? There are so many other girls better off that aren’t being accused. Nobody had such big issues with this girl besides something to do with stealing a boyfriend years ago up until recently. There are multiple victims that came forward and most of which either have no real ties to eachother or close connections.

You’re obviously either her or one of her trashy friends.

>> No.9946253

>>9946201
>majority of us in these mod circles are either not close or have issues with each other?

Are you talking about how the mod of one community involved was banned from Paradiso and another comm for threatening physical violence against one of the guests?

>> No.9946301

>>9946253
No but as far as I know the mod that did actually threaten physical violence towards the guest was not banned if we are thinking of the same community. What comm are you thinking of?

As for me statement I meant in general that there are a lot of disagreements on several issues.

>> No.9946452 [DELETED] 

>>9946253
Didn’t hear about that but I did hear about the guest who was using the event for hookups. All the skeeves flock there it seems.

>> No.9946453

>>9946253
Yeah many aren’t friends with one because she is toxic and no wants to deal with her shit anymore. Other than that most mods in the region are friends.

>> No.9946457

>>9946253
>>9946301
The frizzy girl has been banned regionally. From paradiso and several comms from Kansas to Texas.

>> No.9946474

>>9946253
Yes. this is the one.

>>9946301
What disagreements?
I’m part of this mod circle and can’t think of any huge disagreements that have happened. Banned girl and another that’s been extremely toxic are the only two I can think of being problematic with the others.

>> No.9946480

>>9946253
Uhm you can't say that and not provide deets.

>> No.9946487

>>9946480
The frizzy haired girl. She threatened people who attend paradiso. It was all said above. She used to mod her local comm until her bf harassed girls and she shamed them. She kinda lost her head over it all. Her true colors came out. Pretty much sums it up here:
>>9946146

>> No.9946488

>>9946146
I've always wondered about girls like this. What's her rationale? Does she think he didn't do it and the girls are lying? Does she think he did and just doesn't care?

>> No.9946491

>>9946488
Considering their relationship started via affair I think she knows he does it she just wants the victims to look dumb so she won’t.

>> No.9946496

>>9946487
No, the pkysical violence one please.

>> No.9946498

>>9946480
>>9946487

No it wasn't Frizzy Hair girl, it was one of the mods from a different comm in the region. She threatened one of the invited guests (V). Frizzy Hair drama is just a larp on behalf of GG, so people will stop talking about her scalping.

>> No.9946499

>>9946498
GG please get over that he dumped your ass.

>> No.9946509

>>9946498
>>9946499
Get over the fact that he won’t stop cheating on your ass.

>> No.9946526

Kansas City is such an exciting place to live.

>> No.9946540
File: 64 KB, 335x335, image.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9946540

>>9946526
That it is, anon. That it is indeed.

>> No.9946565

>>9946526
>>9946540
Did Frances finally revealed herself at a meetup?

>> No.9946571

>>9940796
a good mid sized comm with no drama. the mods are not very active but they do a good job of keeping shady people out of the comm, have rules in place for no-shows for rsvp meets, and anyone can make events. comm has been a bit dead lately and im not exactly sure why, but there are 2 fun meets coming up so hopefully we get some sort of revival. It's a shame cause there are so many fun things to do in the city. depending on the kind of meet, we can get a turnout of like 4 people to 20. The average is more like 8 to 10 though.

>> No.9946582

>>9944252
I haven’t been able to attend a meet up with my comm in years due to poor planning and my personal schedule. I have only said going to maybe three meets that either got canceled or moved to a bad weekend for me. Someone new would think this of me because I havnt really met any one new. Considering how the members I have known for years are also rarely attending meets due to scheduling conflicts with our personal lives I can see newer members being like you and the other anon. We can’t help it that we want to attend but can’t because you planned it on a bad weekend. Maybe make a poll before setting a date to see when the most will attend? My comm has recently started doing this which as made it easier for planing larger meets.

But I get you in the “I need a baby sitter thing”. That is annoying.

>> No.9946696

>>9946498
if this is who I think it’s about then this is false.she never threatened physical violence towards any guests. but I can say that a mod from the same region who was or is still paradiso staff did make a physical thread towards a guest along with apparently starting some pretty gross rumors about other mods.

as far as i know this one isn’t banned.

frizzy girl’s drama has had zero to do with scalperchan. most of us heard about her threats and bf sending unsolicited nudes before that completely unrelated crap.

>> No.9946950

>>9946696
Sorry you got posted.

>> No.9947102

>>9946950

I was never posted
I’m not from either area but ok, whatever makes you feel better about being cheated on

>> No.9947178

>>9946582
I used to do polls for my meets but it just makes it more convoluted because like half the people will vote for all the days. And then it's only a matter of like 2-3 people being different. And you end up having to choose if you want to move it for 2 randos if your 2 close friends can't go. Plus let's be honest 90% of meets are on a Saturday. They are pretty predictable and most meets are posted far in advance. If you can't figure something out weeks in advance it's not the organizers fault. If you work on both weekends then that sucks but make your own meet then on a weekday, and expect a small attendance. I know we are a community but trying to cater a meetup to everyone at the same time is nearly impossible, and I realized that if I just choose a day and stick to it, a lot of people will still attend so it's unnecessary.

>> No.9947586

>>9946565
No. Why would she?

>> No.9947587

>>9946526
This makes me scared to move there and join! Lmao

>> No.9947593

>>9947587
It's not that big of a deal. The way to avoid the drama is just to mind your own business and not let yourself get roped in.

>> No.9947601

>>9947178
My comm has several hermit types that will “ have plans” and won’t attend even if you work with their schedule. Every comm has them. You let them make their complaints and plan your meet for those you know will attend and want to attend. You can’t stop the complainers especially the hermits that will take selfies and tripod photos of their coords without leaving the house. I work a night shift medical job and rarely get to attend meets because they are usually right in the afternoon. I have mentioned this before in passed meet plans and have yet to have a meet be planned on a time or day I can actually attend that wasn’t planned by me. It gets tiring planning your own meets that you can attend. Sometimes you want someone else to do it. But complaining about people who won’t attend even if it was their desired time and date is rather redundant and not much better then them complaining about meets planned without at least a consideration.

>> No.9947606

>>9947601
I totally sympathize with the crappy shift work but I think there's nothing much that can be done if most people are free in the afternoon. I think your best bet if you are tired of being the plan maker is to find a group of lolitas that are also free at those times and agree to just hang out.

>> No.9947625

>>9947593
I'm a relatively awkward, quiet sperg so I hope I don't get into drama

But sometimes you never know, I've gotten dragged into people's drama and have been treated like shit just bc I was friends with someone. It's good to know that thank you anon

>> No.9947637

>>9947606
That’s typically what I do. But that doesn’t stop the other girls from the poor behavior of not “ accommodating their needs” the sword cuts both ways. The only difference between my group and theirs is we don’t make secrets and start shit here about “ elitist meets”. We simply meet with people of the same schedule. But that is just the facade you tell them to plan an exclusionary meet appearently.

>> No.9947736
File: 38 KB, 643x425, meta.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9947736

>tfw want to organize a small meet at a cat café special event
>end up going alone

>> No.9947749

>>9947178
In my comm most meets are on Sunday. I always vote for Saturday, but usually more votes go to Sunday even though a lot of those people are known for not showing up/cancelling last minute.

>> No.9948353

I know in my comm there's only like one or two people that plan meets. When people won't show,then they have the nerve to complain about the lack of stuff to do. And they have people from neighboring states keeping drama going

>> No.9948376

>>9947637
Once, a meet I was planning on going to had the date changed for a mysterious reason and I couldn't go. Later found out it was because another group wanted to have their own meet that day at the same place....

>> No.9948398

>>9946498
who is this? the one threatening violence, what comm are they from? i would like to avoid if i know of them.


>>9947587
>>9947593
i agree. kc isn’t bad it’s just that there are a lot of outside problems that have started. the majority of everyone seems to get along and are good friends even outside of the meets. a few bad apples but it’s not hard to just avoid them.

>> No.9948399

>>9943352
>>9943323

wow. I was there and it wasn't nearly that bad. The "let's live stream it" was probably the worst part. I've been to many convention teas and the food/drink ALWAYS sucks with very few notable exceptions. The ambiance was nice. I did think it sucked that they put all the guests at one big table, but there was also no rules about not coming over and saying HELLO to them if you even tried... they're just people and don't know anyone so they're likely to chat with who they're seated with. I don't know why everyone is so embarrassed, no one made a huge fool of themselves, everyone was decently dressed and the food was mediocre.

>> No.9948400

>>9948376
Your comm has terrible communication. We make meets and make sure we update the day before asking for a final head count to make sure our attendance is true.

>> No.9948403

Does any one else get a lot of backlash when you plan a 21 and up meet at a bar? Where I live we have a local bar that does a pretty cool “tea time” night every three months and we always get a backlash of members complaining they can’t go because they are under 21. Like there’s soo many other meets they can go to that not going to a meet every three months isn’t hurting any one. We always have a good 7-10 people attend it and it’s kinda looked forward to but others find it exclusionary.

>> No.9948408

>>9948403
we used to, but as the comm aged there was a lot less pushback. Basically as long as there are plenty of other meets the kiddos can attend they let us adults have some quiet moments to ourselves, especially since we out number them like 2-1

>> No.9948412

>>9948403
Fuck em. Do it anyway.
If your comm still has an all ages thing in the same month then they really don’t have any reason to complain. Don’t even give them the option to complan.

>> No.9948537

>>9946582
Ayrt
>Maybe make a poll before setting a date to see when the most will attend?
We do this for every meetup that isn’t at a pre-existing event. People will complain that they can’t make it before the date is even settled, and there are a few people who always come in shortly after the poll closes to complain about the date that was chosen even though they didn’t bother to vote. Very few of them have ever organized their own meet. It’s like they enjoy the complaining more than actually spending time with other lolitas.

>> No.9948817

Unlikely but I want to know,
Sydney lolita comm, what happened with the loki doki doki taobao shopping woman? She now refuses to ship to NSW and I heard it's due to comm drama. I was debating using her for an order but if she scalps or is flakey I'll go somewhere else.

>> No.9949028

>>9948403
In my comm, even though the legal age here is 18, there's always one group of people who shoot it down because they just don't like drinking. I'm not even particularly into drinking, I just want a change of pace from doing fast food or afternoon tea all the damn time. It's just frustrating.

>> No.9949127

>>9949028
Can't they just not go? What's preventing the meet from actually happening?

>> No.9949135

>>9948817

Get another shopping service. She'll overcharge you on shipping.

>> No.9949157

>>9949127
The girl who's hosting will put up a poll on what the activity / location should be, and people won't vote for it. The one time someone didn't use a poll and just planned a cocktail meet straight up, there weren't enough people who could go since there was a minimum number to book, and it got canceled. I think part of the problem is that a lot of people are poor students and don't wanna pay up for cocktails at a nice place. It's such a shame.

>> No.9949242

>>9949135
Is that all it is?

>> No.9951367

Do lolitas in Alaska exist? Anywhere? May be moving there, probably Anchorage, and just realized I may be a lonelita soon.