Internet Hate

[Anonymous No.8618839]

We've all been there. Been cyberbullied in one way or another. We all know it sucks.

Have you seen bad things written about you on the internet (in relation to a cosplay or coord)?
How do you deal with the hate?
For many gulls, we're the ones throwing the insults on here. Anything you've said and regretted? Genuinely felt bad about?

[Anonymous No.8618851]

I generally just tend to agree and go along with whatever insult is thrown at me and then on top of that, I go the extra mile. That approach generally takes the wind out of their sails. Then I subtly give it back to them.

Example:
Guy A: "Hey Po (a racist name he calls asians), can you tell your people to make me a new phone?"
Me: "Fuck yeah, I'll call them tonight. You need a case for it too?"
Guy A just starts laughing.
Me: "Do me a favor and pick me up in your taxi after work, though." (He's Haitian)

[Anonymous No.8618863]

My friends get posted here from time to time which makes me wonder if I should see other people. I've never been hated on the internet because I'm already an old fag, so my embarrassments were prior social networks thankfully.

[Anonymous No.8618866]

>>8618839
Call them a faggot and insinuate that I had sexual relations with their mother.

[Anonymous No.8618869]

I have gotten hate before, usually in regards to my weight (I'm a fatty-chan) and I'm not going to lie, it did really get to me for a while. My pictures were taken and posted to tumblrs just to reblog and make fun of, or add joking captions about me eating a lot "haha typical fat weeb"-type insults. I read way too much into it, started convincing myself I was worthless and embarrassing, and I was this disgusting blight on humanity just for existing.

Then one day, for a reason I can't really explain, it just clicked in my head- I'm not ruining these peoples' days. They might see me, think I look gross, having a passing thought that they don't like how I look (and comment on it online or whatever), and then they move on. They aren't obsessed with me or thinking about me after that, so why should I care?

I also realized that just because nobody ever said anything so bluntly before doesn't mean that they didn't think unkind things. It just means they didn't say them out loud. The truth of life is that no matter what, there are going to be people who will not like how I look or feel disgusted by it. Every time I go outside, there might be someone that sees me and things those things, whether or not they say anything about it or post about it online later. And I can't control that, but I can control how I react to it. And if I am having fun, and it makes me happy, then I just do not care.

I'm not sure what exactly changed that made me suddenly switch to realizing this and not caring, but I can genuinely say now that it doesn't bother me. It's more of a passing thought that "ok this person doesn't like how I look, that's fine". And I move on, and don't really think about it again. It is a huge relief. The tumblr posts don't bother me anymore when I see them occasionally surface...some of the comments are even kind of funny.

[Anonymous No.8618879]

>>8618869
I'm going through a similar situation right now and I needed to hear this. Thanks, anon. I'm glad everything is going much better for you.

[Anonymous No.8618884]

*cough* chlamydia *cough*

[Anonymous No.8618886]

>>8618884
AND THERE'S NOT A DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT

[Anonymous No.8618887]

Just turn off the computer, fatties wanting their ale and to eat it too.

[Anonymous No.8618890]

>>8618886
That's it folks. That's the best advice there is.

[Anonymous No.8618895]

i've dealt with "hate" or people trying to come after me on here (i've selfposted), and its sorta funny to watch someone really try so hard to coax some typical selfpost-y reactions from me like rabid self-defense. but i've learned enough on here to know not to take that kind of bait and just ignore shit like that, i guess. i wish certain people just learned to do the same, for their sake at least.

[Anonymous No.8618991]

>Have you seen bad things written about you on the internet (in relation to a cosplay or coord)?
Both. Actually people were talking about me by name recently.
>How do you deal with the hate?
I used to get all up in arms about it and let it get to me, especially back when I was a cosplayer and a lot heavier. Now I just kind of let it roll off. I realize I'm doing what I do for fun, enjoyment, and doing so with other people. I'm not in it to be the best at anything, I just enjoy seeing my own personal improvement as I go. So honestly, I don't care that much. There are more important things in this world to get upset over.

>Anything you've said and regretted? Genuinely felt bad about?

Back in the days of the catsonmars forums (yeah that far back) we'd post PT and then we'd start nitpicking other people. One of those people was a 14 year old girl who was just out having fun in her cosplays (made of shiny satin with silly poor photography, but she was really a kid having fun). I wrote some mean things and she called me out on LJ. Basically I tried to attack her on LJ but then realized what a giant ass I was being and how much I was hurting this kid. I ended up appoligizing and we chit chatted friendily afterwards. But to this day, I remember how bad I felt and what position I was in myself that led myself to be that way. I vowed to never do that again. I don't participate in posting other's photos, nitpicking, or any other sandy salty behavior here for that reason. It doesn't improve my coords or my cosplay. It doesn't make me a better human being. It proves nothing about myself to others that I'd feel good about, so there's no point in it.

Mostly I'm here to watch the drama, catch up on general gossip, draw, find tutorials or give useful advice.

[Anonymous No.8619033]

>>8618839
I have the opinion that people are more harsh towards the people they dislike than the people they like. I was kind of in the same position as >>8618869 what with being an obvious fattie and trying to avoid being shat on online as much as possible. I photoshopped myself to look thinner whenever I could, and I didn't post any cosplays or lolita coords that went too far outside "the rules for my body type." I actually was very well-received online with little to no complaints for a very long while. People liked how I looked despite my "type," I wasn't trying to say I looked better than a thinner girl, and I wasn't out to become e-famous.

However, the second I took some risks and not everything I wore meshed together, I got a bit of shit because suddenly I wasn't the exemplary fattie. I was just fat fattie with questionable taste. This past year my weight loss stagnated and I gained (I developed acid reflux; lost my health insurance; I throw up every day after every meal so I look swollen) and as a result I don't end up on the good side of cgl anymore.
It was a humbling experience, but at the same time I had to learn to not care that other people don't really care. The point was that my group of friends told me I looked good and I was happy believing that while I enjoyed my hobbies.

Nobody knows or cares that I'm at an absolute low in my life post grad. Nobody cares that I'm typing this at 1am because I went to bed at 10 and woke up choking on my own acid and a meal I ate five hours prior like every night.
And despite the nasty, superficial shit I've said about others on cgl, deep down I don't actually care beyond a surface level either. I wish everyone understood just how passing and impersonal the negative commentaries are and to not take them to heart. Because none of it really matters.

These days I just ignore excessively harsh comments and pick apart the legitimate advice from the unnecessary hostilities.

[Anonymous No.8619049]

Meh, people are always going to shit talk. I usually just ignore it.

[Anonymous No.8619094]

I occasionally trip on here and get shat on when I have it on (and when I don't).
I love myself too much to give a shit. If I'm really bored, then I'll play along but otherwise I just ignore it.

[Anonymous No.8619129]

>>8618839
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4c9Ad91em-Q

[Anonymous No.8619167]

>>8618839
>We've all been there. Been cyberbullied in one way or another. We all know it sucks.
no, i have not experienced this.

>Have you seen bad things written about you on the internet (in relation to a cosplay or coord)?
no. one joke when i selfposted, but i did not take it negatively.

>How do you deal with the hate?
n/a

>For many gulls, we're the ones throwing the insults on here. Anything you've said and regretted? Genuinely felt bad about?
sometimes i mock newfags who start dumbass threads and then i think, well, maybe i shouldn't have told that faggot to kill himself.

[ValleLator !nCGvC6eOuQ No.8619201]

>>8618839

[Anonymous No.8619225]

honestly i wish people would learn to handle "hate". even if i get an angry or agressive comment i always consider what the person saying it is trying to explain. most of the time people have good points but just bad attitudes- but that doesn't mean they're wrong.

i had a good friend message me on anon a few months ago saying my "stomach pokes out over my shorts". it was rude but they were right. i took the time to flatten my stomach and started working out for the first time in my life.

that's the appropriate way to react to "bullying". i dont know why people are so afraid of self improvement. if someone says you're ugly, learn to do better makeup or pick cosplays that are good for your face. if someone says you're fat see if you need to tone up. if someone says your skirt is shit, google tutorials are fix it. jesus.

i hate the attitude of "not a cosplayer" too because its all "well normies dont understand how hard it is". well it can be as hard as you want but if its wrong its still wrong. "finished" doesn't mean correct. i can managed to sew a pleated skirt incorrectly but still have it go on, doesn't mean i should keep it as it is. you should fix problems, not just shrug them off because "oh well its done".

[Anonymous No.8619230]

There is a difference between bullying and criticism. If you are targeting someone to insult them and make them feel like shit, that is bullying. If you are trying to help them improve, even if you are being "mean" about it, it isn't bullying.
People get offended far too easily. I'm not saying that they should suck it up, but they shouldn't take it out on the "bullies" unless the bullies are clearly coming from a place of hurt.
>>8619129
This is amazing.

[Anonymous No.8619234]

I got some hate when I first got posted here to the ita thread. My tumblr got posted and I got a lot of messages telling me that I'd never be a good Lolita or that I should just kill myself. It got old really fast.

My dog was in a post on cgl and someone messaged me saying that they'd shoot my dog in the forehead if they ever saw it, which honestly was the worst part because I love my dog.

[Anonymous No.8619237]

>>8619225
Fucking this. I've seen so many people cry and bawl over "cyber bullying" for just being told to improve themselves. A lot of cosplayers are bawwing about being bullied while the only thing they've gotten is legitimate criticism, not vendetta tier jelly hate. Of course, their reaction is to write an attention seeking FB post about it and keep repeating the same mistakes. I've received plenty of hate and years ago I was posted to /cgl/ with a comment making fun of my costume's bad construction. I took the time to improve myself and now my costumes aren't shitty anymore. It felt bad to read the comment of course, but they were right about it. It's a lot more satisfying to see those who doubted you shut their mouths than being the poor victim who's constantly asking for babying asspats.

Actual bullying would be shit like deliberately spreading false rumors for the sole reason of damaging a person or outright being an asshole to your face only for the sake of being an asshole. Getting told on /cgl/ that your cosplays are terrible and some of you actions are not okay is not fucking bullying.

[Anonymous No.8619240]

I once drove a girl out of Deviantart. I was around 14 and a depressed edgy teenager, so I sent a really mean message via a fake account telling this girl how I hate her art. She ended up writing a long entry about how it shocked her and she deleted her entire gallery, became depressed and eventually left the whole site. I still feel horrible about it, it's been over 10 years and I don't even remember her nickname, but I still want to apologize.

[Anonymous No.8619241]

I've never been "cyberbullied". I've had random insults thrown at me with regards to my appearance but they were all separate instances, not targeted bullying by any means. It's pretty easy (for me) to shrug this stuff off. One time someone bitched that I was too white/pale and that they thought it looked gross. What am I going to do, get a spray tan to please some anonymous person on the internet? lolno

I've had some actual criticism that did hit home a bit, but that's because the person was right, and it was about something I really ought to improve on. So I did, or at least tried to.

[Anonymous No.8619243]

>>8619241
When they said you were too pale did you consider maybe they were saying you looked washed out but didn't phrase it correctly? I find people do that a lot since it's easier to look washed out as a pale person than as a darker person.

[Anonymous No.8619244]

>>8619240
Was her art any good? Or were you just trying to be edgy?

[Anonymous No.8619280]

>>8619234
What the fuck that's terrible

[Anonymous No.8619285]

>>8619243
They were pointing out how white my arm looked compared to the arm of the person next to me and saying I looked like a vampire, so I don't think they meant I looked washed out. I regularly encounter people IRL who tell me that being pale is unattractive and that I should get a tan, so I'm used to it.
Looking washed out is definitely an issue for me though, so I'm always open to criticism about makeup and colours that do/don't suit me. "She looks so gross" may not be helpful, but "that pink makes her look so gross" actually is, even if it could have been worded better.

[Anonymous No.8619289]

>>8619225
Lol this isn't valid criticism of your comment but lol I just imagined someone telling this to their child

"Mommy a boy at school said I was ugly"
"Well honey maybe you should do your makeup better hmmmm?"

[Anonymous No.8619298]

>>8619225
>that's the appropriate way to react to "bullying".
except a lot of the time people either nitpick things the person in question cannot change or straight up talk shit that has no basis in reality.

What do you do when someone says your eyes are too big (happened to me) or that you have a man-jaw? Get thousand dollar surgery because of a mean comment?

People used to tell me I had bowlegs when I was smaller when I never had bowlegs in the first place, sometimes a hateful comment is just a hateful comment and the person either has some anger issues they need to resolve or a vendetta against you.

Mind you this isn't a thread about cosplay bullying but /cgl/ bullying in general and your logic really doesn't apply irl. If you take everyone's comment at face value you're gonna end up exhausting yourself, wasting money on fixing things that probably weren't even bad in the first place and being so self-conscious about every single aspect of yourself people will run away from you because you're too self-deprecating and exhausting to be with.

Also, if you're honest to god ugly, makeup can't do much to fix that, but most people called ugly are on the average side with unflattering hair and makeup.

[Anonymous No.8619358]

>>8619094
Hi Voldie!

[Anonymous No.8619374]

>>8618869
>>8618879
>not using this as a wakeup call to lose weight
Wait, is this just a woman thing or is it because you're fat?

[Anonymous No.8619382]

>>8619358
Hi faggot!

>not Voldie, btw. I just find people who do that hi ....! thing to be annoying as all fuck.

>>8619374
gr8 b8 m8.

[Anonymous No.8619396]

>>8618879
I'm sorry to hear that, it's not a fun thing at all. Don't beat yourself up too much if it does still get to you, despite saying all that it's also true that we're all only human and it does hurt to hear or read cruel things. Sometimes in the beginning the easiest thing is to just ignore it, it truly is a fake it until you make it. Keep telling yourself those people are small, they don't know you and don't matter, and even if you don't believe it now it will be true. I hope things ease up for ya.

>>8619374
rme at this trollbait but i'll take it anyway because i'm bored:

it's both, I suspect if I was a fat man people wouldn't feel as entitled to comment on my body or find as much humor in it. But since I'm a woman I have to learn to just deal and ignore. Even if I was skinny there would be something else to pick on, I am sure. Live and let live.

[Anonymous No.8619413]

>Have you seen bad things written about you on the internet (in relation to a cosplay or coord)?
Oh yeah. I was a big ita noob in the days of LJ and I ended up on GTFOegl and elsewhere. But at the time, I was just a middle school kid who was having fun. I didn't know what the hell I'd gotten myself into.
That wasn't really bullying but to 14 year old me it was the worst thing ever.
Not CGL but I also struggled with EDNOS for about five years and I was active on the pro-ED sites for a while. Holy fuck, if you ever think 4chan is "toxic" or cruel, these sites will make you redefine your definition of those words. It's like a contest there for who can be the sickest.
Because of my ED experiences I've developed an insanely thick skin to internet comments so even when I see people talking bad about me I just separate the shit I can change (better shoes, different wig, repainting props, etc) and what I can't.
>How do you deal with the hate?
Middle school me bawwleted the posts and my account, and stuck to equally cringey diaries for a while.
I've also become the ultimate nitpicker so if something's off with a costume or coord, I'll probably already have it noted before anyone can say anything to me about it.
>For many gulls, we're the ones throwing the insults on here. Anything you've said and regretted? Genuinely felt bad about?
I usually feel bad when I see people posted here who are clearly just having fun and not taking themselves seriously. I try my best to separate "people just having fun" and "people who are seriously trying to do this" when I'm about to go bitchy on somebody.

[Anonymous No.8619421]

>>8618886

[Anonymous No.8619422]

>>8619374
If someone doesn't want to lose weight anyway, an anonymous comment is not going to change that. Even if it does in the short run, unless THEY want to, no-one can say or do anything to change their mind, so picking on fatties does literally nothing.

[Anonymous No.8619431]

>Have you seen bad things written about you on the internet?
I get posted on here sometimes and a few years ago acquired my very own personal vendettachan. Without fail, almost any time I'm posted in certain threads she will roll in and spew hate about how my cosplays are garbage, sometimes with slurs if she's feeling particularly testy.

>How do you deal with the hate?
It's pretty easy to tell the difference between someone on CGL who just doesn't like my cosplay vs vendettachan who is desperate to get other people to hate me. I'll actually read and think about seagull feedback to improve for next time, but I sit back and laugh at things like "omg complete fucking garbage DIGUSTINGGGGG." I'm confident in my sewing abilities so there's no point in taking shit like that seriously.

TBH I'm kind of impressed with vendettachan's persistence since it's been literally years at this point. She has a very recognizable typing style and is really terrible about being sneaky with her attempts to turn threads against me. Sometimes she comes into my social media inbox too but it's rare.

[Anonymous No.8619447]

The one that honestly really bummed me out was when I was posted here with 2 of my friends. At the time I was at a normal, healthy weight, though I have struggled with an eating disorder in the past (and still do). The other girls in the photo weigh maybe 100 pounds soaking wet, so I looked like a fucking whale next to them. There were a lot of comments about me being fat as fuck and I did take it personally at the time. That was YEARS ago though. Like 2007 or something. So now I'm over it.

Nowadays, I occasionally get dragged in lolita drama, but I actually find it hilarious. I don't do much in the community, just hang out. I don't have a huge online presence. My coords aren't terrible but they're not perfect either. So when I get dragged, I just laugh because they really had to reach for it.