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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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8072910 No.8072910 [Reply] [Original]

Last one in autosage (>>8067263)

What's your comm like?

>> No.8072965

I wanted to go to my comm's ice skating meet but it was the day after I had to go back home to my parents (I'm at college and they kicked us out of the dorms) and the meetup before was at the Botanical Gardens to see the Christmas lights but of course I had a bio exam coming up and had to study for that.
The struggle is real.

>> No.8072966 [DELETED] 

>>8072910
I wanted to go to my comm's ice skating meet but it was the day after I had to go back home to my parents (I'm at college and they kicked us out of the dorms) and the meetup before was at the Botanical Gardens to see the Christmas lights but of course I had a bio exam coming up and had to study for that.
The struggle is real.

>> No.8072982

Has anyone original meetup ideas? I'm not really creative and I want to do something else with my comm than high teas.

>> No.8072985

>>8072965
This is why I don't like my comm. Filled with teenagers and college people... The last thing I care about is your exams, your evil lecturers, etc, etc.... I mean I sympathize, but there's only so many times I can say, "well that fucking sucks."

Also because I work I have more disposable income which can include using it to go to the glorious nippon or buying new releases. But if I ever talk about it, it just makes me feel really guilty.

>> No.8072999

Scot loli from the previous thread >>8072147 not that anon but from what people have been saying I think a few people are sick of them

>> No.8073007

>>8072982
Here are a few that my comm has had fun with, and some we haven't done but could be cool anyway
>zoo
>roller or ice skating
>potluck
>karaoke
>arts and crafts
>games (lolitopoly or lolita cards against humanity?)
>Touring old places
>museums
Hopefully those give you some idea!

>> No.8073011

>>8072985
Well I don't whine about it on the event page or anything, and I wouldn't complain about college stuff at meetups either. Though I do understand your annoyance.

>> No.8073013

>>8072982
Card night, picnic, movie night, board game night, barcade or drag show, crafting meetup, roller/ice skating, karaoke, restaurants that are not tea or Japanese food... Really, just get to know your comm and what kinds of things people like, and host meets that fit those needs. That's what we do in my comm, and as a result we have a ton of meets and active members.

>> No.8073026

>>8072910
Repostin from the previous thread.
What's up with the NH/VT comm? It seems completely dead. Is it a lack of planning or lack of people?

>> No.8073039

Repostin from the previous thread.
What's up with the NH/VT comm? It seems completely dead. Is it a lack of planning or lack of people?

>> No.8073043

>>8073026
Both, I think. I never even heard of a NH lolita, to be honest, last time I checked the NH/VT page it was only Vermont lolis who were actually members. It's a shame, I might be moving there at some point. Gonna be a lonely life.

>> No.8073044

>>8073026
>>8073039
Oops, didn't mean to post twice.

>> No.8073051

>>8073043
That sucks for both of us. I live in Maine, but right on the NH border, so it would be nice to actually have meetups nearby. I guess not many people would be in my area anyway.

>> No.8073053

>>8072965
Learn to manage your time better and maybe you can come to meets. I had so much fucking time in college it was unreal.

>> No.8073065

>>8073007
I actually really hate, playing lolita against humanity; it's like the lolita cards always win, even if that aren't that funny.

>> No.8073068

>>8073053
What subject were you studying? I've never met anyone who was studying anything worthwhile who had time to laze around. We all needed to put in a minimum of 40 hours a week to earn any real credit, and people who blew that off to go party ended up having to repeat courses and hang around for several years more. I often feel like people who think college is for free time and partying either went to a bullshit college for a bullshit degree or didn't sleep at all.

>> No.8073072

I'm getting really tired of fat ita weeabos trying to organize meetups at every single remotely Japanese-related events. There's a decent amount of actual Japanese people around here and those itas are embarrassing.

>> No.8073088

>>8072965
Hello fellow comm member! If it makes you feel any better I'm going to be leaving the area for 6 months in the spring so I'm going to miss all of the summer cons and meets.

>> No.8073102

I don't like how my comm has over 150 members on facebook . I wish the community was a little more exclusive. most of those people don't even go to meets and good percentage probably don't even wear lolita.

>> No.8073103

>>8073065
It's so overdone now it's depressing.

>> No.8073106

>>8072999
To be honest, I think it is mainly him we are sick of.
She use to be fine without him there and more fun. He seems to be a totally dick. He even made sure the meet there would have him and a few girls ditch the rest to go to some shitty theme cafe because he so desperate to get into pinkie's nickers.

>> No.8073120

>>8072999
Why the hell is she a mod? She seems to have lost all sense of how to coordinate and brings her sexual predator manchild with her to everything, making people uncomfortable.
Hopefully the other awesome mods will just phase her out, because it seems everything she touches turns to shit.

>> No.8073126

>>8073106

she's a piece of work herself tbh but he's definitely not helping
what meet was that?

>> No.8073135

>>8073120
"Lost" implies she knew how in the first place. Honestly I don't think that's going to happen.

>>8073106
She's not an angel herself, I know a few people have a pretty big issue with her.

>> No.8073149

>>8073126
Xmas meet there, old ita manface overheard him whisper badly to pinkie. I kinda wish one day she would punch or something but I guess we need a "friend" of hers to react badly to him in front of her.

>>8073135
I keep hearing shit went down and split the group between her and the ginger one. I'm guessing she had enough of neck beard trying to get into her and her gf's pants I guess.

>> No.8073153

>>8073102
This seems to be a common problem. My comm is nearing 100 members but only maybe 15 girls own anything lolita. And meetups never have more than 6-7 people.

>> No.8073159 [DELETED] 

>>8073126
I'll try again here.
Xmas meet the old ita over heard him failing to whisper to the pink hair chick.

>>8073135
I've heard about people having issue but nothing else to the story. A part of me images it was because neck beard made to many passes at them and they just went fuck you to it and told her and she was like, you should be flattered.

>> No.8073162

>>8073149

She's seen him hit on other girls, she doesn't care. They're "polyamory".

>> No.8073167

>>8073162
I know that but have you actually looked at her when he is doing it. She looks miserable and you know never see her making any passes at anyone. He looks like he is controlling her.

>> No.8073175

>>8073149
kek'd at old ita manface because yes. When you say "split", you mean "everybody with common sense peaced out real hard", right?

>>8073162
I bet that's just an excuse so she doesn't have to fuck him and she can pawn it off onto somebody else.

>> No.8073179 [DELETED] 

>>8073167

they both sleep with whoever they want. i think the fight happened because they roped ginger one's gf into their open relationship thing.

>> No.8073185
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8073185

My comm has had an influx of newer members posting really basic questions or making super cringe-worthy introductions. Here's a good one.

>> No.8073186

What's the Finnish scene like?

>> No.8073194

>>8073179
Gah!! I thought she had more standards than that. Damn girl you are far better than that shit. Keep away from creepy neck beards.

>> No.8073202

>>8073194

i think i accidentally deleted my post but yeah. i don't actually know what happens and i don't want to be the one to ask

>> No.8073204

>>8073175
Well it is better than crutches since no one can compute that and at least she is ok being ref by that, she once said it would be easier for people to remember. Girl needs to learn makeup, maybe she be cute then.
Who wouldn't want to pawn him off? The only good thing about him is his place.

>> No.8073205

Can we have more Aus drama? Apparently Elliot and Goldie are making a lolita porn.

>> No.8073210

>>8073102
My comm culls the members list every year, and there are still a ton of people. Mostly it's because we overlap with several other groups, and also we host a major yearly event that people from out of town come to, but it still feels pretty bloated.

>> No.8073224

>>8073185
Fucking trigender. I really don't get these people. Sure, genders are fluid, which would actually gives you less reason to suddenly have all these weird labels, you can be masculine by personality and be a girl and feminine and be a guy. That doesn't mean you are bi/trigender, you're just a girl that likes masculine things too. Though never sports or hunting, only videogames and tv shows and and dressing androgynous. They really ruin it for trans or intersex people.

>> No.8073226

>>8073149
>>8073204
That was a joke but I guess it is accurate after all. Got a problem with me don't pussy foot around t and jut tell me I respect you more for it.

Any way our comm is falling apart, there are no two ways about it.

>> No.8073238

>>8073226
Message sent. now fuck off retard no one wants you around anymore.

>> No.8073241

>>8073088
You're from the St. Louis comm too? If so we should exchange tumblrs (if you have one)

>> No.8073245

>>8073205
Deets please

>> No.8073251

>>8073238
You. Come here and let me kiss you.

>> No.8073253

>>8072965
Co comm?

>> No.8073256 [DELETED] 

>>8073238
Anon if you can drop some subtle clue to who you are so we all might celebrate your greatness!

>> No.8073260

>>8073238
Anon, I wish there was some way you could drop a clue to who you are because we wish to celebrate your greatness

>> No.8073262

>>8073251
Why? Looking forward to the fall out?

>> No.8073274
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8073274

>>8073262
Dude, I've got no fall out to deal with, I dealt with it months ago. I've been lurking the past two threads and I'm glad to see it wasn't just me feeling this way, hopefully more people will just be like "lol outtie". The grass truly is greener.

>> No.8073275

>>8073260
I ain't stupid, there are those who feel sorry for her and I don't fancy dealing with those idiots. Though enjoy the meet coming up. It isn't hard to tell who you guys are.

>> No.8073278

>>8073274
Ah tiggs, that is you isn't it? She didn't give a dam about you. She noticed you unfriended her and just shrugged it off as nothing.

>> No.8073286

Damn, didn't know there was so much internal strife in the Scottish comm. Are the people who are leaving forming a new comm or just striking out on their own?

>> No.8073292
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8073292

>>8073278
Dude. Are you serious? I'm trying to be really obvious here and you think I'm fucking Tiggs. I really couldn't have flagged harded. For fucks sake.

>> No.8073294
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8073294

>tfw itas in your group are trying to tell other itas it's alright to do x or y when it looks like garbage.

Release me from this pain.

>> No.8073299

>>8073278
So you're dragging completely unrelated parties into this now? Stay classy

>> No.8073301

>>8073292
Sorry nikki, how's France?

>> No.8073325

>>8073299
No, I just went with who I've heard isn't her friend anymore. Chill out gurl

>> No.8073330
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8073330

>>8073301
ayyyyyy
Feel free to message me, I've got so much love to give rn.

>> No.8073346

>>8073253
Nope.

>> No.8073411
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8073411

>>8073294
Are you me?

Holy fucking shit the girls in my comm are awful. T-shirts under jsks, boohoo I can't wear brand so I'll shove all of my lard into cheap replicas, and fucking wearing PANTS UNDER SKIRTS.

They ask for help with every fucking coord, but because I can fit into and own brand I'm wayyyyyyy too judgmental (because eww mens oxford shirts under jsks?) and then the bitch vagueblogs about me.

I just want frilly friends, not this raschel lace nightmare.

>> No.8073433

>>8073411
I'm not you;
But we're dimensional twins.

>> No.8073443

>>8073346
What comm? Mine is having a skating meet soon too.

>> No.8073484

>>8072055
We'll be at Chocolate Fest on Saturday, anon - you should definitely come! It was lots of fun last year, I still have some swag I got.

>> No.8073629

Continuation of Brisbane comm discussion.

>>8071260
>>8072447

Clearly there are enough of us checking this tread we might actually be able to make some positive progress.

What exactly are people are unsatisfied with? Personally I feel like there are too many inactive members. Of the 250 approx members maybe 30 are active on the page? I feel like there needs to be a cull, but a lot of the members are very active on the page, even if they don't come to many meets, so what would be a rule to help weed out the inactives. I like the wardrobe post idea personally, even if people don't have much in their wardrobe just making the effort to do one I think will divide the group into a better size.

I'm worried that people will end up being excluded, just because they are new and haven't developed lolita skills yet, and I think that would be unfair :(.

Also what constitutes an inactive comm? there are posts on the page really regularly.

>> No.8073655

>>8073185
Okay, we got the point -- we heard you in the last thread. You'rel like a 3-year old who keeps repeating yourself because no one acknowledged you enough for your liking. Grow up.

>> No.8073739

>>8073655
Er, what? It's not like I can even post it multiple times, there's only one screenshot to show for it? Or maybe I'm misinterpreting...?

>> No.8073746

>>8073739
Oh. Didn't see
>last thread

But for real though. Not all people sit on cgl and constantly visit it all the time like you seem to do.

>> No.8073760

>>8073241
Oops we aren't in the same comm. I guess a lot of comms had the same ideas for meets this time of year haha

>> No.8073789

>>8073629
i want to be more active in the comm but its mainly a money/anxiety thing for me

>> No.8073799

>>8073484
I agree, you should definitely come along!

I'm bringing 2 lolitas that aren't in the comm :)

Totally excited for it

>> No.8073809
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8073809

>>8073629
I like the idea of a wardrobe post/ member photo. It doesn't have to be a full wardrobe post ala EGL lj style, even just a simple shot (pic related) or outfit to prove that you actually own some lolita would help cut through the mass of members

>> No.8073839

>>8073241
>>8072965
Not gonna lie I thought this was the STL comm too.

>> No.8073875

Why do ppl from Alabama com keep coming into ATL comm and try to set up meets that take place in Alabama? It'd be one thing if it were both comms together, but it's just ppl living in Alabama making meets only in Atl. Does anyone know why? Is Alabama dead or did they just dump their unwanted into Atl?

>> No.8073879

>>8073839
I'm the original anon and it is STL.

>> No.8073922

>>8073879
Apparently you didn't miss anything but a goofily dressed guy and itas at the Bot Garden event. I didn't go but my friends told me about it.

>> No.8073972

>>8073746
At least I don't constantly visit my own comm's page and look for juicy tidbits so that I can post them and continue to propagate the old "that comm is awful" stereotype, similtaneously turning my back on other members of the comm instead of trying to help them become better like -you- seem to do.

Everyone bitches and moans about ita this, tumblrina that. When people are growing up, they're trying to figure a lot of stuff out, whether that's self expression or our fashion. Calling oneself trigender -- who the fuck cares. Did reading that word really inconvenience your life that much? Every single post by this person has been sweet -- she's receptive to all critique and is clearly very eager to learn. Help build our comm, not tear it down.

>> No.8074060

>>8073629
I agree with you anon we have far too many members who are inactive and a very small amount of people who actually attend meets. The wardrobe post is great as is having a photo of yourself in lolita in an album in the comm (it could even be suggested for sales purposes). A lolita timeline like the event the Aus comm page is running could be helpful aswell. If someone is a member of the comm they should try to come to atleast one meetup a year or atleast to a con. I also feel we have too many inactive mods or mods who don't wear the fashion and there isn't enough actual moderating being done.

>> No.8074069

>>8073972
People can help build comm's by shoving out the trash.

That person sounds psychotic just from the get go.

>> No.8074071

>>8073972
>Help build our comm

And a good portion of community building is kicking out creeps and psychotics.
Somebody calling themselves "trigender" is just nuts and provides nothing.

>> No.8074788

>>8074071
>Calling themselves trigender
>creeps and psychotics

You're just grasping at straws to cover the fact that you're actually a horrible judgemental person now. It's just a fucking label. How is calling yourself Trigender any different than calling yourself a Lolita? Our whole fashion is nuts and provides nothing productive to the world. You're making an issue out of -nothing-

She's not done anything psychotic in the comm. She's not creeped on anyone in the comm. Stop judging her whole being on a title. Or would you like people to assume you're an ageplayer because the title of members of this fashion community use sure sounds like it to the general Western public?

If you don't want to hang out with "psychotic people," just kindly show yourself out of the comm. If one little word makes you implode like that, you've got some real-world living to do. Also, if you can't trust the moderators to sift through the membership surveys and get rid of the creepy psychotic people (which they have on multiple occasions), then it isn't the comm for you.

>> No.8074823

>>8074071
Wow you need to get your head out of your ass. If you seriously think someone is "ruining" a community because of a simple title, maybe they're not the problem. Have you ever considered maybe it's your piss poor attitude towards anyone who's different that's ruining everyone else's good time. Of course not, you have no concept of what is nice or even human.

Go build your special snowflake ice castle and let it go.

>> No.8074952

>>8074071
It's really one of those things that you'll have to wait and see. Personally, I feel like this person is just very young and trying to sort themselves out. Sure, when I was a teenager, I went through some strange phases. Maybe not as /cgl/ triggering as say, labeling myself as Trigender but I did some really cringeworthy shit and was terribly confused about myself even if it wasn't my gender identity. I turned out fine and can dress myself.

Everyone is young at one point and you know, I think I can let it slide so long as they don't make it a point in face to face discussions. Is it something I want to see or talk about? Not really. Can I put on my big girl bloomers and not let it bother me? Of course.

Furthermore, it looks like this person is situated far south where less meetups and things like that occur. I'm pretty sure this kid is just going to be a con lolita for the time being. At a convention, you can usually avoid people pretty well if you don't want to be seen with them.

Beyond that, a kid labeling themselves as something like that is comparatively harmless if even a little bit embarrassing to others. On the other hand, a 40-50 year old man dressing in sweet and making their fetishes clearly known during meetups would be something I'd be far more concerned about.

>> No.8075114

>>8073972
I'm the anon you responded to. But wow, you're really mad.

>> No.8075140

>>8075114
I can see why poster is so mad though. It's endlessly frustrating watching new people get chased away by heartless people. There's no reason for it. We have to let them grow, not stifle them. It's one thing when people make posts in public places and that gets shared around, but to have people in the comm stooping that low. We used to be very small and tight-knit and we had absolutely none of these problems with people coming on here and talking poorly about each other. Loyalty is hard to find these days in the comm.

>> No.8075524

>>8074060
Should this thread be brought up with the mods?
I don't feel like these are particularly mean or rude requests to make. I think if we remove the inactive members it will make the comm much stronger, as we will actually know who to chat to and who to add on FB and become friends.

>> No.8075526

>>8073789
I'm like this too. But also I'm too scared to go to meetups because I am fat. I can handle the online bullying from anons, because I'm not deluded in the fact that I'm over weight. But I would be devastated if the girls in my comm poked fun at me or wouldn't be friends with me because of it. I really want to get out of my shell and go to a few meets this year though!

>> No.8075527

I had a dream last night that MB joined our comm....

wat

>> No.8075543

>>8075526
nah the girls arent like that in the comm, they dont do things like that out in the open

>> No.8075820
File: 32 KB, 491x184, Screen Shot 2015-01-24 at 12.52.55 AM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8075820

>ita tries to move Tea Party to smaller con
>tries to say always smaller con has similar attendance
>top kek
>UBCon will get all the kids who couldn't go to ToraCon because ToraCon has a 2500 max cap that will fill up soon since more than half the tickets are sold

Also on a con note, 250 for a vendor table is nothing.

>> No.8075999

>>8075524
Honestly the mods who are still in lolita have probably read the posts already and it wouldn't be the first time a member ask them to consider doing a cull. They won't do it because of the risks of hurting feelings. I think they just need to place a soundoff post so people who are still active in the comm can comment and those that don't can either be removed or contacted.

>>8075543
It's not a problem in the comm, just dress for your body shape and wear comfy shoes. Your outfit will get picked apart before you do. Walking is involved almost every meet up

>> No.8076003

>>8075999
i hope we have a little get together after the bodyline picnic so we can talk about it

>> No.8076009

>>8076003
I very much doubt it, very few actual lolitas are going to the meet anon.

>> No.8076013

>>8076009
i shall have to represent then

>> No.8076014

>>8073102
Same, except our comm has several hundred. We do have a large number of lolitas but like half the people on the FB group are random weebs who once saw a Chii cosplayer at a con and now want to date a kawaii lolita-chan or something. I wish our comm had stricter rules so that only people who wear the fashion or are planning to start wearing it in the next few months are allowed in. Our previous group was way more exclusive. It made it harder to get into but at least we kept the randoms out.
For some reason the current mods are extra lenient on males because idk, it's less socially acceptable for them to wear dresses so we might as well let them all into our club without anything to show for it? So now there are a good deal of dudes who I'm pretty sure are either sissies or just want to date a lolita. I feel much less comfortable posting anything, especially pictures, when I know that it's going to be seen, liked and commented on by a horde of thirsty weebs.

>> No.8076061

>>8073629
I agree, culling is needed. If someone gets deleted and they weren't meant to, they can just ask to rejoin (and then provide evidence). Every other inactive won't even notice they got removed.

>> No.8076089

>>8073186
Currently its awesome.
People are nice and friendly. Meetups usually start in "elegant" manner but eventually the derping starts.
Why ask?

>> No.8077115
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8077115

Does stockholm have an amazing comm or is this just an ita free meet/private event

>> No.8077131

How does your comm handle sales posts? Are they allowed or banned?

>> No.8077134

>>8077131
They're allowed in my comm, but it's a small one so it's not so much a regular sales post as it is "Hey, just thought I'd post here to see if anyone wanted dibs on this stuff before I start selling it in other places". If it were a bigger comm with more sales posts, I reckon we'd ban them because it's annoying to have to sift through sales posts to get to any actual discussion.

>> No.8077196

>>8077115
these are the models for an AP fashion show in sweden, anon

>> No.8077238

>>8077131
My comm has a pinned thread for sales. Individual posts are not allowed.

>> No.8077262

>>8077115
So many pretty outfits and people, so much AP. My comm too really enjoys AP.

>> No.8077782

>>8077115
My dream

>> No.8078000

>>8077131
We have a separate group for sales posts.

>> No.8080174

How do other comms deal with dietary restrictions? A little while ago we had a potluck-style meetup and a new girl brought really nice homemade brownies. A few girls in the comm were apparently on a diet and were really upset about the brownies being there. One of them later started making rather passive-aggressive jabs at the brownie girl on FB, saying she was purposefully sabotaging fat girls.
Currently our event organizers just ask everyone attending a food-related meetup to mention allergies and stuff like veganism, but now mods are talking about making a rule about high calorie foods. I feel really bad for the new girl, she's been super quiet and I get the feeling she was scared off from attending more meetups.

>> No.8080178

>>8080174
Easy fix-ban the girls who got upset over the brownies.

>> No.8080180

>>8080174

As a recovering anorexic who wouldn't dare consider acting like that, I think those people are being shitbags. If they lack the self control to simply be around high calorie foods, that is their problem! It would also end up ruling out a lot of typical lolita haunts; bubble tea, patisseries, afternoon tea, japanese food...

>> No.8080184

>>8080174
I can't believe what I'm reading...
Sorry but if the girls on a diet can't handle that, they should work on their self-control.

Our comm has nearly always food in some way on their list. There are vegans, vegetarians and some that are allergic to some kind of foods.
But everyone tries to manage those things on their own...

>> No.8080191

>>8080174
Name and shame those precious bitches. If you can't handle yourself around sugar, don't go to the damn meet up. Even being vegan/vegetarian (in my opinion) shouldn't stop people bringing something like..cupcakes decorated with jellybeans, it just means you have to be aware not to cross-contaminate the food. Most people with dietary restrictions are well used to bringing their own damn food, and it's a pot-luck anyway!

>> No.8080193

>>8080178
>>8080180
>>8080184
>>8080174
You are all right. The girls not wanting someone to bring high-calorie foods are the ones that are being rude and obnoxious. I can't believe how uncivilized of them!
If they are on a diet, so be it. They should keep that to themselves, and when offered a brownie they should say something polite like -" No thank you, though these look delicious, I am unfortunately on a diet."
If they have problems with self-control, they can simply eat a healthy meal BEFORE they go to the meet-up and drink tea or whatever at the meet-up.
Tell those rude girls to bugger off. (Or no, not literally - I mean say something polite but tell them to stop menacing the poor new girl.)
BTW I would be frikkin happy if a newbie brought delicious brownies to my meet. AND if I was on a diet, I'd still be dead happy - I just wouldn't eat it.

>> No.8080407

>>8080174
Wtf? The mods need to stop trying to accommodate to every whim that someone has. Allergies is obvious because it can harm or kill someone, but if you are on a diet...just dont eat it. How are you guys going to do anything like high tea or cafe meets, where the food is going to be dessert like?

I would go as far as talk to the new girl and tell her to not mind the criticism because those girls are just being ridiculous. She shouldnt have to deal with that bitchiness just because some fat girls have no self control.

>> No.8080944

>message admin on my state's FB page about hopefully reanimating it
>she's 100% behind it, makes me an admin
>"Great! Now to get more lolitas to join! Let's start with my friend's list!"
>most of the lolitas in my friends list are weeaboos; not even minor tendencies, full blown "OMG TEH YAOIZ!!!!1!1" SQUEEEL GLOMP
>I know of two who think Milanoo is quality
>...I've let you down sempai

They're good people, absolutely kind and generous, but some can't into lolita for shit.

>> No.8081005

>>8073875
>Is Alabama dead or did they just dump their unwanted into Atl?
I think it's the latter. AL comm is actually pretty active, and there are meets for everyone, although they seem to average around ten people. There are some people that seem to think we can just drive to TN or GA whenever the mood strikes us, so you may be getting those people.

>> No.8081195

>>8080174
>I feel really bad for the new girl, she's been super quiet and I get the feeling she was scared off from attending more meetups.
>>8080407
>I would go as far as talk to the new girl and tell her to not mind the criticism because those girls are just being ridiculous.

I second this! Don't you see what's happening? There was a nice kind girl who brought delicious handmade food. Bitchy girls got mad and scared her away. Do you really want to be left with just the bitchy girls and no girls like brownie girl? Reach out to her! New blood is what keeps a community living, and you might have lost a quality member!

>> No.8081873

Is Arden Rubicon a member of comm or someone kind of SS/scalper? Photos of her comm or deets?

>> No.8081903

>>8073875
I don't think those girls were making meets in Atlanta though? I think they were inviting the Georgia members to Alabama.
And I mean the ATL comm has people from all over Georgia in it not just Atlanta anyway.

>> No.8082871

>>8075140
Anon, I disagree.
My comm is having problems like that, too. No one is "heartlessly chasing" people away. I think it's reasonable to be frustrated with members who need to introduce themselves with a gender. I think it's TMI for someone to jump into a personal history, including gender and sexual preferences (I had a newbie post she was a full lesbian in her intro).
Sure, everyone needs to grow as a person, but when they make themselves public, people are going to notice.

>> No.8082954

Are there ANY good Canadian groups on the west coast?

I'm currently living in Red Deer and want to start looking for work in any larger city.
Edmonton's crashed and burned due to Nazi-Chan and is only getting worse. Calgary is full of ita's and that creepy brolita and Vancouver seemed really dead when I visited in December.
(Unless I wasn't looking in the right places?)

Feels like I might have to haul to Toronto; But that was going to be my last option.

>> No.8083022

>>8082871
Just a thought, but I think it might be oversimplifying it to say that people who are very public about that kind of stuff are "defining themselves by their gender/orientation" or "oversharing".

I've never had this problem since I'm hetero- and cissexual, but I can imagine that it's hard to know how you're "supposed" to go about bringing that up - because chances are, it's going to come up sooner or later anyways. Even just in a casual conversation, saying "oh, me and my girlfriend went to the movies this weekend and saw..." when you're a girl is going to make people take notice. A heterosexual person wouldn't have to think about that stuff at all.

So the question is, do you keep quiet about it for as long as possible, and risk putting your limited emotional energy into making friends with people who will alienate you when they find out because they can't accept you? Or do you just state it at the beginning of your social interactions with new people, thereby immediately weeding out anyone who might have an issue with it?

I don't mind people who do the latter, because I honestly don't know how I'd go about it myself. I'm honestly kind of glad that I don't have to worry about that.

>> No.8083909

>>8083022
Actually, I think bringing it up in conversation is ideal. There's no need to hide it about yourself, but if there's no context for it, there wouldn't really be any reason to bring it up. I'm bisexual and single (both important parts of my gender identity), but there's no need for me to drop that upon meeting a person. That would come down the line when I'm more familiar with them.

Maybe I don't have the same approach to friend-making as you do, but I don't think it takes that much emotional energy to go to a meetup, have tea, make conversation and exchange info. Contact acquired, now you can go on to communicating with them about dresses or whatever until a solid friendship developed.

>> No.8083969

>>8082954
Actually the 3 biggest comms are Quebec, Toronto and Vancouver for canada. The thing is that vancouver is very much a clique and so they have a few big events and then otherwise people just chill with their friends. so the numbers are high there but they dont have cohesive comm.

If you have the option of anywhere, I would go for quebec because that is where Fanny rose is personally, but otherwise Toronto is the other large comm. I cant say that is the best place to work tho.

>>8083022
Typically it is far easier to just say it in a convo when needed instead of making ti a big deal. It is way weirder when you make it a point that you are lesbian than to jsut casually say you have a girlfriend.

>> No.8083977

>>8083022
I'm bisexual and I don't feel the need to bring it up unless it's in context. Like, yeah, I'm into chicks, but that shouldn't be the thing you know me for. I'd rather people know me as the girl in the comm who likes cooking, innocent world, and bad puns, not The Gay.
I'm not hiding my sexuality, but I'm not going to make out with my girlfriend at a meet or shove it in everyones faces, because it's tumblr-y and attention-whore-y

>> No.8083978

>>8083909

Was about to type out a response since I'm also bisexual, which I consider as a part of my sexual identity, but you wrote it out far better than I could.

>> No.8083983

>>8072985
wahhhhhh I'm rich and don't want to listen to people talk about themselves, wahhh I can't talk about myself because I'm rich!! Wow get over yourself.

>> No.8083989

>>8073053
Not all of us majored in gender studies and went to community college, genius.

>> No.8083993

>>8083022
Personally, with sexuality it's probably better to mention it casually, but with gender, it would probably be better to be upfront about it just so people know what pronouns to use for said person?

>> No.8083994

>>8083983
Anon has a point. It gets annoying listening to people complain

>> No.8084005

>>8083994
yeah I'm with "rich" anon on this one. It's really annoying when everyone is constantly broke and that's all they talk about.

>> No.8084029

>>8083994
>>8084005

If all they do is complain, sure. But I'm sure four minutes of someone commenting about how college is a little rough and then transitioning into another subject wont kill you.

>> No.8084041

>>8083983
Jelly much?

>> No.8084062

>>8084041
I think it's selfish for more developed people to be so ridiculously impatient, yes. You can deal with someone venting off a little stress for like eight minutes if you're an actual considerate person.

>> No.8084088

Pretty fucking happy with my comm. LA has average dressed lolitas at worst, and some of the best girls in lolita-dom reside in my comm.

>> No.8084153

>>8083022
I know we're talking about someone who is biologically female, but what if some guy came up to you in a social setting and was like "Hi, I'm Matt. I'm aromantic, masculine, cis gendered, and single."
I'm sure the best of us would be severely off put.

>> No.8084182

>>8084062
You're obliviously one of these twats because it's not "just eight minutes," it's like all they talk about.
>new brand dress? I wish I could afford that :(
>bodyline order? I am too broke :(
>I wish I could come to this tea party but I am so broke! can I come but bring my own food and can someone give me a ride? :(

>> No.8084198

>>8084182
This. It's the most annoying thing to deal with at meetups.

I understand not everyone can afford to buy new dresses all the time and times can be tough but they don't have to shit on every conversation with their brokeness.

>> No.8084205

>>8084153
Lol I thought you said aromatic.
It is funny because those people are all about removing gender roles and then describe things as masculine and feminine.

>> No.8084291

>>8084088
Well, there are some itas, but they only show up to the really big events. Overall I'd say it's pretty good, too.

>> No.8084306

sigh, I remember being excited to join my local comm but once I looked at pictures everyone is so lackluster...I've heard everyone is really nice (from friends that have gone to meets) but I'm just a little bummed because, well. there's hundreds of people in the facebook group, and most of them are just casual passersby who are vaguely interested in lolita, or casuals from conventions that go to like 1 meet ever or just wear bad coords to cons, etc. it seems to me a lot of different people attend meets and there's no like, set group of consistent people, just noobs over and over again or even worse, people that have been in the group/fashion for awhile and still suck. I'm glad that apparently there's nice people but I'm also a bit bummed that the group seems to be a bit irregular (in terms of consistent attendees/membership) and that everyone dresses so mediocrely. I always try to think of ways to maybe collectively have everyone get better but because membership seems to be so flippant I don't think it's really worth it. I guess I'll just go to meets and try to enjoy the company.

>> No.8084578

I'm moving to Benson, AZ with my family in the fall, and im just starting to put together a wardrobe. are there any lolita around? I might be able to get to tucson from time to time if the community is worth the drive. otherwise i might only drive to phoenix once or twice a year for PCC and Saboten. What is the community like in my area?

>> No.8084597

>>8081873
scalper. she's rubicons_closet on lj. her posts say she's in hawaii, not sure if she's in that comm.

>> No.8084950

>>8083977
I like you a lot, if it slots into the conversation then it's good and I'll be glad to have gotten to know you a bit better.
I know a lot of people that seem to make it their orientation the punchline of every joke, the point of every story and the theme of every anecdote.
God forbid if it wasn't mentioned for a minute, you might forget what kind of genitalia you like.

>>8084153
I normally struggle to even give people like that my attention. If you use an unexpected pronoun, you can point it out off-hand whilst mid-conversation, it's a shit opening line, it pulls you away from the topic of whatever you're doing that has brought you together in one place and directs it to just being about that person's life story.

I sound like such a bitch here. I just go to meets to talk about pretty things, not gender studies, I couldn't care less about gender/race/humanplanthybridotherkin.

>> No.8084962

Any one else in the Melbourne comm creeped out by that chick asking for friends? Just go to a meet and talk to people. No one wants to commit to being your friend if they have never met you.

>> No.8084967

>>8084962
I kind of feel bad for her because she either looks younger or seems to have some disorder.

>> No.8084986

>>8084967
I just looked through her profile pictures and she doesn't really seem that young, had to look though a lot of anime girls to actually see a picture of her though. She just seems awkward, not like she has a disorder.

>> No.8088235

>>8084578
Tucson is pretty chill, Candice is one of the community mods and she's a total sweetheart. Dominique gets talked about a lot here but she's either chilled out or just gotten more careful about who she talks shit with. Phoenix is where the bulk of the comm is though. PCC is not really worth your time, lolita-wise. There's hardly ever anything going on besides the J-fashion show. Saboten is a better con for lolita-related things. Don't bother with ANY of the Tucson cons, they're all dogshit.

>> No.8088242

>>8073007
Apples to apples is way better than any CATH game. CATH and its spin-offs try too hard to be funny and crude which stops it from being all that funny. Then there's always "cheat cards" that have random shit on it and of course 99% of people go "WELP THIS ONE HAS DAVID BOWIE ON A TIGER SHOOTING LASER BEAMS OVER A RAINBOW, OF COURSE I'M PICKING THIS"

>> No.8088265

>>8088242
I find the game boring, but apples to apples is way worse mostly because the game is geared towards older ppl. Its like trivia pursuit in the way that the cultural stuff only works for a certain generation and other people are left with wtf? with Cah, you can at least make your own custom set, and there are enough expansions that you can cut out the stuff you dont like.

However, a lot of people's humour is crude, so if you arent into that you may just not be fun to play games with.

>> No.8088331

>>8088242
>CATH
Cards Against The Humanity?

>> No.8088363

>>8084578

the AZ comm is shit, just sayin

>> No.8088377

>>8088331
yes
>>8088265
I've never had that problem, the general rule is if no one knows about the reference(usually a person) we just take it out, but that doesn't happen often, and with a bunch of people in their early 20's I don't think it's an issue of being old.
I like crude humor, it's just that with CAH it's trying too hard to be crude/cool/lolsorandom akin to old failing businesses trying to re-connect with the youngins and it just goes horribly wrong, as opposed to putting two unrelated things together and making a crude or morbid implication/setting with it.

>> No.8088411

What is the deal with the NYC comm? The main one is so dead because there are mini comms, or so I hear, but where do I even find these mini comms?

>> No.8088416

>>8088377
I've combined A2A and CAH and it's freaking hilarious.

>> No.8088423

>>8088411
Ikr, I just want cut lolis to hang out with since I moved here, but there's no one

>> No.8088438

>>8084182
>>8084198

Fuck I hate this shit. I have modest spending habits when it comes to lolita, but then the girls in my comm are always making comments about my new things.

>> No.8088461

>>8088411
iirc, there is group of forever itas and folks like Amber who've caused a lot of problems for their power trip. It's so disappointing considering how huge the city is - you'd think that there'd be a decent group of active lolitas. I believe a lot the better dressed ones happen to lurk around cgl, and there was a cgl based meet not too long ago?

>> No.8088474

>>8088438
TBH I like talking to the other girls about what they have bought. They get things that I can't afford or that wouldn't fit me (fuck you, Innocent World and your boobie hate). I can understand how living/spending vicariously through another person can be annoying for that person, though.

>> No.8088555

>>8075526
Try being fat and black. Everyone acts like I'm an insta-ita even if I dress well.

>> No.8088568

>>8083977
I completely agree. I am also bisexual and I honestly don't care if people mistaken me for a lesbian or straight depending on who I date. If the conversation allows me to open up I am more than happy to share and discuss related topics but I feel it's pretty obnoxious to shove it in people's faces over the net that I have yet to meet (save anonymous chatting)

>> No.8088576

>>8088411
There are only 2 main comms. The side ones are either clique-ish or non active. There's one for artsy types, I've heard good things but never been so i can't say much. Nycgulls never happened more than once. Le sadness

>> No.8088586

>>8084962
That cabbage response was priceless though. What's up with the Melb comm anyway? It's so quiet.

>> No.8088601

>>8084182
If they are so broke they should make their own free/cheap events.

>> No.8088629

>>8088363
What's wrong with the az comm?

>> No.8088767

>>8088629
>>8087598

>> No.8088789

>>8088767
we are all embarrassed shes a part of our comm ok? don't judge the whole of us just because of that little shit.

>> No.8089233

>>8088586
Victor is always fucking hilarious. I don't know, there as been one actually meet thsi year and that was for a girl visiting from NZ. A lot of the lolita's talk off of the page on peoples personal posts about lolita though.

>> No.8089256

>>8088555
I'm fat also and this is why I've also been a bit afraid of going to a meetup...I've been trying to put together 2-3 coords before I start attending meetups and I've been trying to make the nicest coords possible because the comm I wish to join is notorious for looking bad and like...I guess I'm not super worried about most of the comm members since I've heard it's a hugbox, but I'm worried about certain members also being posted to cgl just because I know if I have a plain or meh coord I will be judged more harshly. I think I'm ready to attend a meet soon but yeahhhh

>> No.8089379

>>8088423
>>8088576
I would love for nycgulls to happen again, I'm probably moving there by the end of this year and the two main comms look fucking stupid.

>> No.8089440

>>8088789

keep in mind that there are more shitty people than just her. everybody who's still active in the AZ comm is either trash or ita.

>> No.8089515

I feel like I'm being a bitch here, but a new girl joined my comm about a week ago, and ever since, every time someone suggests a place for a meetup, she comments going "Sorry that's too far away for me". Like... cool? Nobody really cares. If you want a meet closer to home, organise one yourself.

>> No.8089554

>>8089233
Caps/can you tell us what was said? I love Victor and stalk his Tumblr but I'm not part of the Melb comm. The smackdown over that girls crappy handmade shit on the Aus FB page was pretty epic.

>> No.8089559

>>8084306
Try it out. There could be more well dressed people in the same boat as you that are hesitant to come to meets. You might inspire those people to come. Plus some people just need a little friendly guidance to get better.

>> No.8089594

>>8089515
It's annoying if she expects everything rearranged around her but she has some grounds for doing so - no-one will go to a meetup organised by someone new who they haven't met, so your "organise your own" suggestion wouldn't work at all.

>> No.8089607

>>8089440
Except for you, right?

>> No.8089838
File: 448 KB, 200x117, sippin tea.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8089838

>>8089440
I wanna see receipts, tell us who you think is shitty and ita

>> No.8089990
File: 151 KB, 497x505, Capture.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8089990

>>8089554

>> No.8090028

>>8089990
God i am so sick of this girl already. An ita through and through. I can only hope that she gets better and less annoying but i don't know how likely that is.

>> No.8090145

>>8089990
oh my fucking god 10/10

>this cabbage can be your friend

>> No.8090203

>>8089440
Well you're obviously god-tier, so please grace us with photos of your amazing coords.

>> No.8090236

I think my comm is generally very nice, but I also think we're less well dressed than we like to think.

I think we're solidly average, but a lot of the comm thinks we're well above average. Not bad, but it gets annoying when we're referred to as the 'good comm' when I would put us at 'decent.'

>> No.8090246

>>8090236

Is there a bad comm in your state?

>> No.8090741

>>8089990
slay victor slay

>> No.8090758

this annoying ita tried to make an event for 2 days time. like seriously two days? meets are normally planned a month before hand. and because no one could go she cancelled it.

>> No.8090862

>>8089607
>>8089838
>>8090203
The butthurt is strong

>> No.8090986

>>8089256

When you're first starting out, you're going to make mistakes. it's inevitable unless someone else dresses you head to toe. Wear something that makes your shape look good. Go light on a petti and wear solid tights until you get the hang of the rest. I don't know if you're more on the petite plus size side or a bit bigger but it's important to wear flattering things. Many ladies who are a size 14 can pretty much get away without having to worry about much aside from boob loaf. Just make sure it fits (go indie if you can't fit into brand- get it custom) and make sure you add accessories. Big headbow = Big hair... Don't do a split wig, avoid crazy colors-keep it natural. Def wear a nice wig when first starting out. if you have Loliable natural hair then just make sure it's not frizzy or poorly styled. Many people don't like fat people, but if you dress nicely and you're a nice person, no one will say anything negative to you. hang in there. it's not so bad.

>> No.8091857
File: 19 KB, 350x317, pee.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8091857

>>8089990
LOL thanks, anon. That was awesome.

>> No.8092894

>>8082954

Way to judge 3 comms based on (what sounds like) mostly internet drama and one visit to Van. What do you even mean by "looking in the right places"?

Go ahead and move all the way across Canada to avoid a bunch of people you don't even know, you sound like a cunt.

>> No.8093295
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8093295

>> No.8093567

>>8082954
Toronto is just as shit now too.
Montly meets got disbanded and now everything is small cliquey meets except for a few at cons.

>> No.8093712

>>8093567
>cliquey meets
Honestly, I prefer having smaller meets multiple times in one month. Things are easier to plan and you get to know people better.

>> No.8093716

>>8093712
but with what anon said, they don't invite you unless you're already in.

>> No.8093744

I'm bored of American drama. What about other countries? Europe? UK?

>> No.8093753
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8093753

is anyone in the CA santa cruz comm? if yes, do they even do anything? it's so tiny

>> No.8093804

>>8093567
It isnt cliquey if the meets are open to anyone in the group.

Monthly meets got disbanded because people fucked it up. Especially when people seemed to 'forget' to pay, and we stayed way past our welcome, it was time to stop going there.

>> No.8094133

>>8093804
So many private events though. Maybe you just don't get invited to many of them, so you wouldn't know they exist.

>> No.8094206

>>8093744
We don't have any because we are chilled out babes

>> No.8094210

>>8094133
Most of those are just "lets get drunk in lolita" meets , which aren't that interesting and not open to all ages anyways.

>> No.8094243

I don't have a comm. I live in central Florida. Most people there are normalfags and the people who know anything about Japanese fashions are weeaboos. I would like to have a comm, but I'm too lazy to introduce my regular friends to the fashion. I don't know how, to be honest. I don't really want to search for other lolitas because they might be far away, like Titusville or Orlando.

>> No.8094248

>>8094243
There are a ton of lolitas in the central florida area, especially since the area is so large. You don't really want to have a comm if you are going to complain about putting forth some effort to travel.

>> No.8094274

>>8094248
I'm fine with going to, example,Titusville but my point is I don't want to have to go 2+ hours away. I'm fine with traveling just not to extreme ends, so near the space coast/Melbourne area is good but wayyy off is where I'm not willing to go.

>> No.8094325
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8094325

this girl showed up at one meet and then never went to any again, i kinda miss her.
anyone know who she is?

>> No.8094457

What's the Michigan comm like?

>> No.8094459

>>8094133
Casually hanging out with your friends isnt a 'private' meet.

>> No.8094508

So many new girls suddenly flood into comm and I'm getting tired of the same questions/conversations over and over again
>uwu too poor for loli where can i get cheap
>do i have to have petti?
>what do boys wear for lolita?

>> No.8094521

>>8094457
Not super large but very friendly and drama-free. The only drama in recent history happened several years back and the member it centered around has since moved out of state. Members are mostly average-level at coordinating, with a share of itas/fatty-chans, but a few consistently well-dressed ladies. There are a lot of meets at the DIA and a few throughout the year at various tea houses/cafes. At the moment I believe they're trying to plan out a swap meet for the next month or so as well as a visit to the new aquarium that opened up at Great Lakes Crossing. Definitely would recommend joining the Facebook group.

>> No.8094523

>>8094274
You should join it anyway, you might be able to find some girls close to you. I understand your pain though, but I regularly drive over 2 hours because my local comm is shit.

>> No.8094941

>>8089990
Oh dear, I thought this was who you where talking about. I just recently sold something to her and in our correspondance she was sweet and lovely. From her typing I could tell that something was not all there so i think she might indeed have a disorder of some kind. But through our talking she seemed very committed to making good co-ords in the future. Hopefully the annoyingness will settle down soon enough.

>> No.8095107

>>8084088
>average dressed lolitas at worst

Man I think I'd feel a bit intimidated in that comm if so many of the girls are dressing that awesome. Would be wanting to regularly buy tons of great prints to keep up with the Joneses.

>> No.8095140
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8095140

I love my comm, but my biggest pet peeve as of the past year is the lack of participation. A lot of girls bitch when we don't have a lot of meets, so we make them. There is excitement about the event once it is made, but ALWAYS on the day before or of, more than half the people cancel. It's such a let down when there is so much interest then when it comes to actually GOING there is no effort put in with the members. I think it would help if people were a little more honest if they are really going to show or not. It wouldn't be less frustrating when hardly any one shows if we know ahead of time.
I think this discourages some of us from wanting to make events if people are just not going to show. On average we will have 12 goings and 12 maybes, but then the day of the event we are lucky that 4 or 5 show.
Is this common with all comms?

>> No.8095155

>>8095140

I think it happens a lot, but then again, your comm sounds a bit like my comm, minus the outright bitching.

>> No.8095158

>>8095140
Common with my comm. We're a small comm just starting this year but basically the entire comm will either RSVP yes or maybe (~20 members) but only 6 or so will actually show up. Makes it hard to go to food places because we never know how many to RSVP for.

>> No.8095162

>>8095140
This happens a bunch in my comm too. We have a meet coming up with 20+ 'going' and maybes but tops 6-7 will actually show up. the annoying part is when notorious flakers beg for rides, i don't mind giving rides but when they only make it to 1 out of every ten meets why would anyone waste their time to be cancelled on when they show up to pick them up.

>> No.8095181

>>8095158
I'm Poster 8095140
That is exactly a big reason for my frustration. It's hard to plan if we never know how many to expect.
Also my comm as done events where they say it's "limited to only X amount of people". Then make a deadline. We reach the limit so the coordinator says no one else can go.
-Day of event some people don't show and people who probably wanted to go couldn't when they could have.
To me it's just common courtesy. If you say you going to go..go. If you don't know...find out ahead of time. It's not that difficult.

>> No.8095276

>>8095181
The bigger comm i was in before just blacklisted flakers from attending the next 3 "limited" meets unless they had a legit reasion for ditching.

Most of the other meets were pretty casual drop in type things at cafes and what-not so we didn't really care if people ended up never showing up.

>> No.8095285

>>8095140
We have this. A lot of girls will only go to meets organised by their own clique, but will set themselves on going at other meets only to flake. You'll have one of those girls "cancel" and then suddenly their friends are all sick or busy. So if one drops out 3-6 will follow. They are the more senior members of the comm so it's hard to call them out on their shit. They all bitch about other members flaking when it happens to their meet.

>> No.8095295

>>8095285
Sounds just like my comm.

>> No.8095771

>>8095140
Not with my comm, but we're also very strict about RSVPs,and the mods frequently remind people to update their RSVP to be accurate when it gets close to an event. It's usually accurate within two or three people for us.

>> No.8095819

Anyone know what the Maine Comm is like? I've heard some stories, but just wondering if they are true or not. Also is there more than one?

>> No.8096094

>>8094325
weird, I just saw her in the cosplay suggestions thread with that same exact picture. here
>>8086256

>> No.8096185

Is there a comm in Idaho? My husband's job may have us relocating there in the next year or so.

>> No.8096226

>>8096185
according to FB there is. there search too is a great thing.

>> No.8096246

>>8094325
Is it you?

>> No.8096472

>>8096094
Nope, link thread?

>> No.8096924

>>8096185
>https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Anw4aY5HpSLMdFU2UjZjZ0t2Z0I3RXZtemhkSWlMamc#gid=1
Also to any anons who want to share any missing comms, I usually update if someone sends me an email!

>> No.8097034

>>8094206
Obviously you've never been to manchester.

>> No.8098354

>>8097034
True
based LDN comm

>> No.8102913

no clue

>> No.8103206

What's the Milan Comm like? I know SugarRose (aka ManaSamaTemple) lives there.